Hopeless romantic, feeling alone.

TheXXL · 2016-07-28T07:11:32+00:00

Does anyone just ever get frustrated with the feeling of loneliness?

I am sure everyone does from time to time.

I try to chat up randoms that I come across in my daily life, but it never goes anywhere.

What do you mean by "try", are you actually doing it?

I asked a girl out today and she shot me down because she's 'talking' to another guy and it is like pre-relationship dating for her..

She's not the only female on this planet, you know...

I can't find available, single girls near where I live or work.

How do you look for them?

My outlook on life is extremely bleak, honestly. I want to settle down now at 23 and have a loving life full of fulfilment with a life partner,

Oh, now i see your problem. You think a woman will make your life better, make all your problems disappear and you will live happily ever after... Wake up son! The real life isn't going that way. You will still have your problems, you will still feel bad over things, and surprise chances are that you (or her) break up with the next girl you get into a relationship.

and yet this hook up culture all around has become the norm.

This is cute, you are looking through your own filter of reality. There are many people on this planet who believe in many different things and ways of life. Hooking up was always a thing, maybe not as open as it is today, but it was always there. As there were always the "i will marry when i get 19" people.

Hardly anyone believes in fidelity and commitment anymore and I honestly believe I will die unloved.

Self loathing time...

Maybe I'm depressed, maybe I am just realistic, but this has been the culmination of my experience as a young person in this current culture. Broken homes all around, single mothers, baby daddies, fuck. I'm just so frustrated with how things are.

more self loathing...

Society, chill out and learn some responsibility and self respect.

let's make a few things clear here. From what you write, you are the one that needs to chill out. You are 23! you have another 60+ years of life ahead of you. And you are talking about respect and responsibility... man... Did you know that respect is earned, not just there? but that's an unimportant point. The main point is: you are bringing yourself down. you built up a fantasy in your head that will never stand the test of reality. You will most likely not find the right woman for you at the first try. And if you really settle down with the first one who says yes, you will be one of those "unresponsible" married couples that get a divorce after 10 years, because they finally found out that they were simply stupid and naive to even get married in the first place.

What you should do is to realize that no other person will make you happy. Only you yourself, can make you happy. Having a partner is just a part of happiness. If you work on that, become happy with yourself and what you do with your life, you will attract more women than you can think of, and then you will find out which one of those women is the right one for you to settle down.

recyclablebanthas · 2016-07-28T04:01:29+00:00

Questions in bold below. If you're serious about getting help, start off by answering them as honestly as possible.

Does anyone just ever get frustrated with the feeling of loneliness?

You're not alone. Many of us go through this. Loneliness comes and goes in life. There is no ultimate end to it.

I try to chat up randoms that I come across in my daily life, but it never goes anywhere.

Hard to say what you could do here because you are leaving out the most important information in the post here.

Where do you typically meet women?
How do you usually open? Situationally or with a line?

I asked a girl out today and she shot me down because she's 'talking' to another guy and it is like pre-relationship dating for her..

How'd you meet her?
How long have you known her?
How did you ask her out?

Whatever the case, her stated reason is not the reason. It's because she wasn't interested and/or something was off in your approach.

I can't find available, single girls near where I live or work.

Do you live in a city?

If so then you probably are limiting your choices needlessly by some choices you're making in your schedule and activities.

My outlook on life is extremely bleak, honestly. I want to settle down now at 23 and have a loving life full of fulfilment with a life partner,

I'd say that part of the issue is ironically that such a state of mind that you've fallen into, is going to repel people you might otherwise date.

So keep trying to meet people, sure. But you need to take care of ykurself as well. You have to find your OWN reasons for living for yourself. Not for someone else.

and yet this hook up culture all around has become the norm.

This is bias. You're looking for love in the wrong places, almost certainly.

Where are you hanging out currently?
Where did you meet your current social circle?
What do you do to socialize now?

WathupSP · 2016-07-28T18:09:42+00:00

As /TheXXL said, You think a woman will make you happy and your life easier. But the problem is, if you get in a loving relationship, in 1-2 years TOPS she is gonna leave you or cheat on you, depending on her character. do you know why? think about it first, then read on.
Thought about it?Ok read on.
Ill tell you why. Because she will become your godess with time, you will cling onto her, you will put her on a pedestial, she will start loathing you because you alienate yourself from her with that behavior. You may even become controling and jealous. Because she has a life, friends, hobbies. She can live without you. You cant. Because you think your life should center around THAT one woman you love (and you, although falsely, believe her life should be centered around you,too). Thats not what real love is about. Your new SO isnt the journey. You both are on your own journey, it just happens that you both have the same destination and want to travel together on that long journey that is life.
TL:DR: I repeat, you should want a woman to spent your life with, not a woman to become your life. Sadly right now, your mindset says you have a deep driven desire for the second scenario,which, WILL lead to a catastrophe. Imo you should start living your life, be totally comfortable with beein alone. You yourself should be your BEST life partner. You know why? because not a single person on this planet, neither woman, man, child or chuck norris himself, is more compatible with yourself than you. So go out and befriend,love and marry yourself first.

Title	Hopeless romantic, feeling alone.
Author	bhrealnm
Upvotes	5
Comments	3
Date	July 28, 2016 2:28 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4uyfn6/hopeless_romantic_feeling_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/hopeless-romantic-feeling-alone.1410117 https://theredarchive.com/post/1410117

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