How can I apply Seddit values while being in a relationship?

ok_heh · 2013-07-17T00:03:06+00:00

Tyler from RSD has a short bit of good advice on this one. Basically, when you're out approaching/seducing, you want to keep the independent mindset. However, when you're attempting to build a relationship, it should be a interdependent mindset you're coming from.

You can't be assertive and put yourself first in a long term relationship and expect to have a healthy, happy relationship. You've traded in a lifestyle of independence and flings in for a lifestyle of cooperation and commitment.

There are still some pick up values that translate over well, but thinking things are going to be a one man show still is off the mark. If you can't handle interdependence, then you shouldn't be a relationship. Don't try to force an fully independent attitude onto this girl, you'll make her miserable.

If you haven't set the expectations of what you will/won't tolerate and what you want out of the relationship from the get go, it may be hard to renegotiate that later.

Helmet_Icicle · 2013-07-17T13:10:52+00:00

To be succinct, never stop seducing her.

b204257 · 2013-07-17T19:37:02+00:00

All I would say is.. don't stop seducing. Don't stop taking her out and treating her right. Usually the first few dates are three part dates that are well thought out and planned. I've noticed once in a relationship it turns into: where do you wanna eat?... not so romantic anymore haha. In relationships I love using the surprise element. I never stop surprising a woman.

When it comes to being assertive and things just be yourself. Completely. If she is still willing to stick around... which she obviously is then you'll be fine. I guess you have to be more specific when you say you want something out of it for an elaboration.

puaCurveBall · 2013-07-16T22:07:35+00:00

Have you read "no more mr nice guy"?

Has some exercises for doing things for yourself and re-framing things.

leodoestheopposite · 2013-07-18T03:52:04+00:00

To some of us, Seduction is about creating attraction by being the best you can possibly be: living your own life on your own terms, doing what you are passionate in life, being both aware and assertive in life.

Do that, and people will gravitate to you, including your SO.

mymindstellingmeno · 2013-07-19T11:47:28+00:00

Just wanted to say, I've been searching for this exact post topic for weeks now. This is EXACTLY what I needed to read, thanks so much.

recyclablebantha · 2013-07-17T02:10:20+00:00

I feel like I'm doing all the giving and I want to ask for more out of it.

Enforcing your own boundaries is going to be key when you're in a serious relationship. You don't need to be "dominant" (though it's okay if you are), but you certainly need to have your own lines and you need to be able to enforce them without being a dick. (Read: serious relationship does not mean you should be a doormat.)
Making sure to set aside some time for yourself so that you don't forget who YOU are as a person. While it shouldn't be a "one-man show" anymore and you should be taking her feelings into consideration if it's serious...... You shouldn't be co-dependent. It shouldn't be like you need this woman to "compete you". That is an unhealthy and ultimately unsustainable path to start down. Think of it this way, ultimately, you need to be able to stand on your own two feet in this world, and you won't be able to have her by your side all day and it won't work to be completely focused on her when she's not there, or you won't be living your own life.

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2013-07-17T01:05:01+00:00

Conversation threading Being a value Giver Being an alpha male

Title	How can I apply Seddit values while being in a relationship?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	25
Comments	11
Date	July 16, 2013 10:00 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ifz4u/how_can_i_apply_seddit_values_while_being_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-apply-seddit-values-while-being-in-a.1355499 https://theredarchive.com/post/1355499

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