How can I get back in control when they're calling all the shots?

recyclablebanthas · 2016-10-24T03:02:02+00:00

..should have clarified. I'm female.

Yes, you should have. :P

How can I get back in control when they're calling all the shots?

Most of the initiation is done by me, first to message, first to call, first to invite to hang out.. most of the time.

This assumes that control is only in "calling the shots." It's not.

First to message doesn't guarantee a reply back. First to call doesn't guarantee they answer. Inviting someone out doesn't guarantee they'll want to meet.

There is always a degree of control on both sides. Unless someone is being violently coerced. And control isn't just overt. I've seen "meek" women who actually ran their "dominant" BFs: dictated what they wanted and had them running around to fulfill their every want.

It's true, I'm an assertive woman who takes what she wants, but I worry that by me doing all the chasing, it might result in them losing interest.

This is a different question than being "in control." It's also kind of a pointless question, though a completely understandable question.

If you really like being in the driver's seat, then your behavior is going to screen out/scare off the guys who can't handle it. So the answer is to be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. If you try to hide the way you are, all you're going to do is end up dating some dudes who don't want an assertive woman, and then all you've done is delay the end from happening.

monkeyman114 · 2016-10-24T02:04:53+00:00

You're the guy, girls generally are very passive and want a guy to call them first, text them, etc. Heck I've been dating my GF for 2 years and she still wants me decide where to eat.

leprogrammist · 2016-10-24T09:57:18+00:00

Assuming you are not gay: By cultivating the virtue of patience and getting rid of your control fantasies. In short get rid of your neediness.

Andreas-Lubitz · 2016-10-24T11:33:38+00:00

Most of the initiation is done by me, first to message, first to call, first to invite to hang out.. most of the time.

You must be fat, nasty and ugly. Are you so undesirable that NO guy pursues you, takes you out to dinner, texts you, invites you out to places like these seddit champs do all the time?

Title	How can I get back in control when they're calling all the shots?
Author	PrimeMinisterMe
Upvotes	0
Comments	9
Date	October 24, 2016 1:09 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/591wqy/how_can_i_get_back_in_control_when_theyre_calling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-get-back-in-control-when-theyre-calling.1414455 https://theredarchive.com/post/1414455

Comments