how can i get closure?

postmodgirl · 2012-01-03T17:12:34+00:00

You are over thinking this and making assumptions. Stop doing both right the fuck now.

Let's look at the facts. You have a friend tell dude you like dude. Dude doesn't show interest when you confirm the crush. He doesn't reach out, doesn't make an effort to be more a part of your life... etc. One of two things are probably going on.

1, he has no idea. Girls sometimes think that guys are super observant or understand the subtle signals they give to show a guy she likes him. Everyone (male and female) is egocentric. Unless something is directly in their line of sight or in their emotional orbit they may not notice the psychic telegram o' love you be beaming them. I find it's best to say that unless you tell them to their face how you feel you must assume they have no friggin idea.

2, he's not into you. He may enjoy the attention, but does not have an interest in dating you.

So, to get closure you need to emotionally decide that this is a dead end. You can do that by direct confrontation (painful at first if you get rejected but it will put your mind at rest hence making it easy to move forward). If you don't want to do that, then you have to puzzle out why this is not good for you. The spark you feel is just your emotions. It's not a psychic link between you and him. It's your brain chemically bonding with the stimuli he gives you. It's great when two people feel like that, it's the groundwork for a real relationship. But if it's one sided, it sucks and it's painful and everyone goes through it at least once.

This is something you've built up in your mind to be a big thing, but it's not for him. If you do decide to tell him you have a crush on him, keep that in mind.

But also, don't sell yourself out just to keep this guy in your life. If this is painful, and you are not getting what you want or need get some space away from this person & force yourself to stop thinking about him (gets easier with time). Put yourself first.

Good luck.

puaCurveBall · 2012-01-03T16:41:23+00:00

Wrong subreddit.

This is about helping people meet strangers, and turning them into sexual partners.

The best advice for people you already know, is clear communication. Have that awkward conversation. Figure it out.

One week ago, I got it on with my onetis BFF from highschool after 10 years of wanting it. Trust me, it is better to just talk about it. On the phone or in person.

MeOnCrack · 2012-01-03T16:21:01+00:00

Why don't you just ask him out yourself?

RedErin · 2012-01-03T16:31:32+00:00

Wow, I can tell you're new here. The most attractive quality a person can have is confidence.

Now ask yourself. What would a confident person do?

Now go do that.

nostalgicBadger · 2012-01-03T18:06:09+00:00

and i was like "Awkwardddd"

Sidenote: I would recommend not doing this. Nearly any time a girl does this out loud, I'm not feeling awkward, and the fact that she is makes her seem insecure. Which might be fine, if I were only trying to get laid, but I would prefer to date a confident woman.

Title	how can i get closure?
Author	categorizethis
Upvotes	2
Comments	6
Date	January 3, 2012 4:00 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o16sq/how_can_i_get_closure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-get-closure.1326497 https://theredarchive.com/post/1326497

Comments