How do I learn to be physically and emotionally intimate and display affection???

puaInProgress · 2012-05-27T08:06:28+00:00

where to start...well, we've all been here, literally. so not all hope is lost. having your first experiences physically with another person is incredibly nerve-wracking.

I'm also in my 20s, and my first real "I'm in love" relationship ended not too long ago. so i'll impart what wisdom i can.

in a way, I feel like this can't truly be taught, only experienced in order to fully understand. it's one of those things that your parents tell you "you're too young to understand." quite honestly, before my first in-love experience, i had no idea what it meant to be physically, emotionally, AND mentally vulnerable with another person. nevertheless, i'll do my best to explain.

to start, you have to be comfortable with yourself.

i've become comfortable with all the other stuff

i hope that quote includes this. but in case it doesn't, i'll elaborate. I don't just mean self-confidence, i mean comfortable with your physical being. if you can stand in front of a full length wall mirror, naked, and not feel awkward, then i'd say you've accomplished this. if you can't be comfortable with being physically intimate with your own body (intimate as in knowing, not as in masturbation but w/e) then how can you expect someone else to be comfortable, let alone you be comfortable with someone else?

physical intimacy requires practice. just like the rest of pua/seduction/self-improvement. it's all about the baby steps. you've said you can get numbers from women, even go on dates with them. are you kino-ing them? you'd damn well better be! (kino is like magic) well, seems like the next small step would just be to kiss one. you don't have to hardcore makeout with them, even a light kiss on her cheek or a quick but passionate kiss on the lips will suffice. baby steps, that's the key. it's really all about the timing. if you want to kiss her, and you feel like she wants to kiss you just let your 'i don't give a fuck' instincts take over and go for it.

in terms of emotional intimacy: well that's the more complex part to explain. there's two real types:

1) lust. it's basic, it goes along with physical intimacy. typically this is what will lead a woman to want to sleep with you, some sort of emotional connection she feels with you (unless she just wants some, in which case "HALLELUJAH" is appropriate)

2) love. to explain love is...near impossible i'd say. it seems like you're sort of looking for love, and sort of just for hookups. both are great, but comment if you want me to elaborate on either topic. love is really something you have to experience. your first love is usually just a huge infatuation, and is just part of what's called the "honeymoon phase." it lasts between 6 and 18 months. you become consumed by the fact that you're in love, that you don't see any flaws with the relationship and you're just blindingly happy. after it's over, that's when you see things go wrong. and usually when a seemingly great relationship ends. if it doesn't, and you truly accept someone for all their faults, and even better learn to love those faults, that's real love. i don't know if i did an adequate job of explaining that. if it's unclear, let me know.

tldr: BABY STEPS!!! a quick kiss on the cheek, a quick on the lips. slow progress from there. it won't be easy, but you'll get there.

playfulpenis · 2012-05-27T09:50:35+00:00

I don't mean for this to be a glib reply, but watch Don Draper in Mad Men and learn.

Stythe · 2012-05-27T15:48:29+00:00

You have to be willing to trust someone and give up your power to them, at least to an extent. That kind of intimacy can only really come from a genuine attachment. It takes a lot more time and effort to achieve it than it does to get someone in bed.

Title	How do I learn to be physically and emotionally intimate and display affection???
Author	wlav
Upvotes	7
Comments	4
Date	May 27, 2012 5:32 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u6z2s/how_do_i_learn_to_be_physically_and_emotionally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-learn-to-be-physically-and-emotionally.1333300 https://theredarchive.com/post/1333300

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