Seddit, please help me expand my social network!! Has anyone here started from nothing?

IAmTheOmNom · 2012-05-05T13:08:49+00:00

Jep I have started from scratch last year in a new country with a foreign language. Here is my advice:

Be open and friendly.
Casually talk to everyone.
Stick around for longer when you have no real reason for it and people don't mind. This can be really strong for taking a friendship further.
Find other people who are searching for a new social circle and invite them all the time. This will not only make you friends with people it will also make you the leader of the new forming group. (mind that being the leader of a group is a science of it's own)

Also, it is easier to find people with the same background as you, like from the same country and whatever. But it really is more rewarding and more interesting to make friends with the locals.

FandH · 2012-05-05T12:58:47+00:00

Be a leader. Invite people out, host parties, get together, trips etc.. Bring different social groups together. All in all just spend time with people and I'm sure friendships will form!

2oosra · 2012-05-05T10:20:19+00:00

Not sure if there is any generic advice. I like living in new countries. I am constantly building new social networks. I like throwing a dinner parties for new friends with not too much effort. Take charge and invite people to picnics, events etc. Follow up. If someone gives you an email or phone, use it. I like being up front "I want to meet some new and interesting people. Invite me to things. Hook me up." Sometimes it really is as simple as asking.

svennice · 2012-05-05T10:44:21+00:00

Rule number one don't be needy...

troyfawkes · 2012-05-05T14:50:26+00:00

Hey man, I'm actually working on solving this exact problem. The general outline is simple:

1) Join clubs, social events, social classes (e.g. toastmasters, writing workshops etc), etc.

2) Get phone numbers. This is easy at these events.

3) Invite people from one event to another.

Start doing that and you'll have more questions--but it really is that easy.

evoxone · 2012-05-05T13:59:11+00:00

Kieth Ferrazi's book Never Eat Alone has some great advice for widening your social circle and building valuable friendships.

psyocal · 2012-05-05T19:18:27+00:00

One of the most likable/charming personalities is a humble person who can make fun of themselves while complimenting the other person.

For example:

You approach a girl and you get rejected, but you notice someone looking at you: walk up to them and say

“0/11 so far…if I was only as handsome as you, I might get somewhere with these women.”

They’ll usually laugh and respond with something like “oh you’re not bad looking man, it’s all about confidence blah blah blah.” Continue with the conversation and charm away.

This shows that you’re humble and it will open up a conversation with a potential friend.

tofusoju · 2012-05-05T09:18:31+00:00

Just realize that it takes time...

Think how hard it is to get a girl to be your friend... then think about why a guy would want to be your friend when he takes you out you are just competition if he already has a group of friends...

Friendship and social networking takes more time then just a hook up.

fragglemook · 2012-05-05T15:00:40+00:00

Yes. Go out for drinks with workmates and meet their friends. Have fun with them and their friends then get their friends numbers. Organise nights out and include those new friends. Meet your new friends' friends. Rinse and repeat.

reboot2012 · 2012-05-06T02:10:29+00:00

I moved to Asia and am starting from scratch. Here is what Im doing:

I go to atleast one event a week. If these events are aligned to your interests, then its even better. For ex, I've made some good friends from speed dating events. Chasing girls is a great bonding experience. :)
Exchange numbers with people you meet at the event. At this point I'm not too picky.
Followup with the folks that I got a good vibe from, with a coffee/lunch/drinks meetup.
Invite people to the next event I'm going to. Or I invite them for a second coffee/dinner, etc. The more frequently I see them, the more quickly the friendship develops. Sometimes at this stage, it can appear like I', aggressive but its all good.
All of the above has worked better and faster when I give more than I receive.
Its also worked better whenever I'm not too judgemental of others or myself. For ex: Sometimes I invite people and they dont show up. Or they cant because of their schedules. I try to not take it personally. But sometimes I also tell them to go fuck themselves (in my head) .. lol..

Chamilionaire · 2012-05-05T14:59:15+00:00

join your local WAKA kickball league!

nycprowl · 2012-05-05T16:44:50+00:00

Yes I have after I moved into a new city without knowing anyone here after college a few years back.

Things I did: Joined a local sports league, simply because I love playing. I met people through that, and this gave me my core group of friends.

From there, I expanded. I go to a lot of concerts, so i started talking to people I saw regularly at shows with a simple "I see you here all the time, what's your name". Another social group formed.

Recently I've been going to the same bars. Met a lot of people through that by using the same "I see you all the time, what's your name?"

Just introduce yourself to people, invite them out... and be yourself. Don't worry about "being cool". People want friends who are real, and confident in their passions.

A simple "hey, let's all go out this weekend" works wonders. Also, facebook is your friend here. Friend these people, and they'll often send out facebook event invites to their whole friend list. Go, have fun, and get to know them better.

2012-05-05T19:28:35+00:00

Join a lair, honestly.

I've lived in the same city my whole life and didn't really need to do this to make any more friends, had plenty, but I've made (unexpectedly) lots of friends in my local lair whose company I enjoy even outside of "sarging".

rkwhitney · 2012-05-05T23:25:30+00:00

I just relocated to a new city a couple of months ago.

I have found some friends by

going out and talking to everyone. everyone. Sometimes you meet someone cool, sometimes you don't.
meetup.com is a cool way to meet some people. You obviously won't mesh well with everyone in a given meetup group, but if you go to 3 or 4 meetups you're bound to run into the same people a few times and start forming connections.
due to where i'm located (vancouver), i'm very lucky that there's an incredibly active facebook group for redditors, and they have events every few days. this is a cool way to meet fairly like minded individuals. Reddit is a tool, like any other.

sillymallard · 2012-05-06T01:07:39+00:00

I have started from scratch several times. The first time was nerve-wracking. Now, I almost crave it. It's exhilarating. Here is some advice:

Get involved in three regular activities: something artistic, something physical, and something for the community. Make an effort to meet the people in these activities. They don't all have to be your friend, but you'll start to feel at home if you make a few environments your personal spaces where people know your name.
Sarge at bars alone. This is one of the few times it is socially acceptable to go to bars alone and talk to people. You are new to the city, and want to make friends. That is your story and most people will be sympathetic to this. You only have about 3-4 months to claim you are "new" so don't waste this time!
NEVER decline an invitation from a new potential friend. Even if it's an activity you hate, NEVER decline it. If you decline, you might never get invited on anything again from this person. Always say yes.
Plan an activity to take your new potential friends on. If you demonstrate that you're a fun-loving person who likes doing cool stuff, other people will gravitate toward you.
The local paper will have events that are going on in the city ranging from art shows, fairs, concerts, talks, parades, etc. Go pick one up and find some events that interest you and go to them.

chunkbot1 · 2012-05-05T18:53:50+00:00

Seduce a cool girl (you're on /r/seduction, right?) at a bar or club and get into her social circle.

quicklookleft · 2012-05-05T23:10:37+00:00

Well I have boobs. So I think that helps. I have more friends in six months than my bf got in over two years.

Title	Seddit, please help me expand my social network!! Has anyone here started from nothing?
Author	wlav
Upvotes	104
Comments	33
Date	May 5, 2012 9:04 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t85us/seddit_please_help_me_expand_my_social_network/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seddit-please-help-me-expand-my-social-network-has.1332250 https://theredarchive.com/post/1332250

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