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nycprowl Archive

View 0 posts and 1,360 comments by nycprowl on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Dude, thank you. This makes a lot of sense and is very wise. I have some deep rooted abandonment issues that make it difficult to deal with, getting cheated on and broken up with when the other was depressed doesn't help that in past relationships
/r/seduction20/05/15 05:12 AM
2

It's all what you've done and where you've been in life. Any advice with the question about how to not give your power away
/r/seduction20/05/15 04:38 AM
5

I consider relationships and that aspect a flaw in my game, a spot for improvement. When I'm single I do the whole hookup thing, and I got that down, but I think self improvement inrelationships should also be an aspect for people who want one
/r/seduction20/05/15 04:09 AM
1

Because you care about the outcome and value her opinion more. So you put her on a pedestal
/r/seduction20/05/15 03:46 AM
3

Few things: Porn is not an accurate representation of penis size. On average, the male penis is 5-6 inches. They do a lot of tricks with camera angles, special effects, and pick guys with abnormally large penises to do porn. I know cliche, but it's not size... it's how you use it. You'll get better with practice. Stop worrying about trying to impress her. Do it for the moment, same principles apply. Have fun, be in the moment and stop worrying about trying to "impress her"... I've had bad sex. I…
/r/seduction09/05/15 11:04 PM
1

Hey thanks for this. Yes, let her know through your attitudes and frame of mind that you are not afraid if you lose her because you can have any woman that you want. Don't SAY this, but imply it. How do I go about doing this? I can get in that mindset, as I know I'm a pretty cool dude and don't really have an issue meeting women at all. However, even knowing this doesn't alleviate that deep-rooted abandonment "you're going to get hurt" fear I often have. The not offering advice if she doesn't as…
/r/seduction09/05/15 03:14 PM
1

STOP STOP STOP! You're overthinking this! You should take this lesson as you don't actually NEED the clothes to feel confident. If it helps, then go for it, being well dressed won't hurt your game and definitely may help. But realize the confidence comes from within. Don't worry about being dependent on it, but maybe go and approach sometimes even when not dressed up, etc.
/r/seduction07/05/15 02:42 AM
1

No definitely not a crutch at all. You were asking why this happens and if it was just you. Dressing up is never a bad thing at all. I was just saying that i have a different effect and i think it's confidence related. Also stop worrying about how you think. The clothes DO NOT make the man. Wear what you want, you don't have to be "worth" something to dress a certain way (even though you are worth it already). Rock that style for sure if you dig it, I was just giving input as to the why. If you …
/r/seduction07/05/15 02:33 AM
1

That's the main factor, is the confidence boost. Women can sense that like crazy. Again, I've done much better wearing an old t-shirt and shorts than dressing up because I actually feel more confident in it, and I've been told I clean up well. It's all how you carry yourself.
/r/seduction07/05/15 02:12 AM
2

Validation. They want quick sex. it could be anything. WHat are you supposed to do is up to you. Let them know you're not looking to commit still, but if you want to hook up and they're down then go for it.
/r/seduction07/05/15 01:57 AM
1

Make eye contact with everyone you walk by. Try to hold it, smile at them, say hello, give a head nod, whatever. You'll find you feel better about yourself and it's just a matter of getting comfortable with it. Keep in mind, a lot of people won't return it because they have the same issues as you do.
/r/seduction07/05/15 01:56 AM
1

It could be a multitude of reasons. Many girls like a dressed up man. Maybe you clean up well. Possibly you feel more confident in the clothes (my guess) and carry yourself differently. I have the opposite effect. I feel more confident in jeans and a tee shirt, and do much better than if I were dressed up at all.
/r/seduction07/05/15 01:55 AM
4

I've been there, and the same thing happens to me. Think of it like working out, if you stop using a muscle, it atrophies. However, if you've been in shape before, it's easier for you to get back in shape than it is for someone who has never done it. You're just a little rusty. Go out there, positive and upbeat tones be damned. Don't worry about the reaction of the girl, just approach, that's your only goal.
/r/seduction07/05/15 01:54 AM
3

I haven't been to active lately on here, but this article REALLY hits close to home. I get so anxious when I'm in a relationship (which I'm currently in), get needy and have trust/abandonment issues due to past cheatings, etc. I signed up for therapy to try to overcome this, but my first session isn't for a while. I don't know how to overcome this constant anxiety when I'm in a relationship. I do become the nice guy (and I read no more mr. nice guy), the second article said get into a "flow" but…
/r/seduction25/03/15 02:49 AM
15

Have you read the sidebar? This is usually caused by a scarcity mindset. Look up some posts on abundance mindsets here, you'll see all the info you need.
/r/seduction13/02/15 02:43 AM
3

This needs to be upvoted higher. Look at your intentions op. Also If you're trying to have sex with your gf and she won't, and isn't a virgin you may have to ask why. Does she not like sex? Is it against her moral code? Assuming you're not in high school or a kid id have a serious convo with her. Does she have an std she's not comfortable talking about? Trauma on the past? Just trying to hold out? Remember this, if sex is important for you you need to make sure your needs also are being met. You…
/r/seduction21/12/14 04:55 AM
2

Exposure. You just do it, go be awkward a bunch and realize if you get blown out its not a big deal. She's just another human who shits in the morning. That beauty will fade one day and the fact she's pretty doesn't make her a better person at all. The more you talk to hot girls the more you'll realize that they're normal people just like everyone else.
/r/seduction13/11/14 08:06 AM
1

YES. when i was single, I hooked up, made out, approached plenty of girls, and I don't drink at all. It's only as awkward as you feel. I never felt awkward at a bar not drinking. No one gives a shit what you do. You can look at that 2 ways... either depressing or liberating. Most people at the bar are too concerned with themselves to worry if you're drinking or not. When I tell people, some get it... some don't. Fuck those who don't get why I don't drink, it's none of their business anyway. Rant…
/r/seduction13/11/14 01:52 AM
1

Red flag so hard. you're just asking for a drama induced time (dated a girl like this, i know how it goes).
/r/seduction13/11/14 01:50 AM
7

Dude, you're overthinking this. Approach EVERYBODY. Talk to that dude over there, talk to that girl, talk to that grandma. When you're first starting out, talking to everyone helps because then when you go approach the cute girl (which you should do anyway) it won't be a big deal, she's just another person you're talking to.
/r/seduction13/11/14 01:49 AM
1

Meh. Age rule: half your age plus 7 is a good guide to start that i follow. But I've been with girls who were 21 who were more mature than girls who were 29.
/r/seduction07/11/14 02:07 AM
1

I disagree. I've definitely had a way easier time having casual sex than getting into a relationship
/r/seduction07/11/14 02:04 AM
2

I was just in a situation like that. open communication. The girl told me she wasn't looking to be exclusive, so I had a choice to make...I could keep seeing her while seeing others or I can drop her. We wound up talking again shortly after, she's now my gf. You can talk before hooking up too. "Hey listen, are you seeing anyone else currently?" and if she says yes, then it's up to you what you want to do.
/r/seduction07/11/14 01:49 AM
2

You never had casual sex, how can you say how it makes you feel? The idea makes you feel that way, and that's FINE. If you don't like casual sex, it's pretty easy to avoid and there are girls out there who feel the same. However, sex is just a moment. I used to feel the same as you, BEFORE I had casual sex. I thought it would make me feel shitty, etc. It didn't, at all. Sure, it's not as good (for me) as when actually caring about someone but it was still fun. It's just different. I view casual …
/r/seduction06/11/14 11:52 PM
1

Oh you said approach anxiety, which is usually deemed for girls you're approaching for the first time. You just get anxiety around her then?
/r/seduction06/11/14 04:31 AM
0

Whoa whoa whoa. You wanna be in a relationship with her, and you didn't even approach her? You don't even know her dawg. This is THE definition of putting someone on a pedestal, you don't know shit about them but you already crush on them so hard for you to think rationally. You're attracted to her. Cool. There's billions of attractive girls. Now go say hi and see if her personality is cool enough for you and a good match.
/r/seduction05/11/14 11:17 PM
2

Dude, you're way over thinking it, trust me. I also get acne on my back, legs, ass, shoulders, etc. Not one has it caused an issue when getting naked. I have been with some girls who also had some acne on their back, etc. Never have I been like "eww gross, acne". See a dermatologist to get it under manageable control, but really don't make a big deal about it and you'll be fine.
/r/seduction05/11/14 11:14 PM
1

Nailed it. I noticed a lot of guys both on here and in real life get their ego boosted and a sense of false confidence because "look brah, I got this chick to cheat on her bf!! I'm the shit." It's pretty sad, really.
/r/seduction05/11/14 03:49 PM
1

Like everyone else said here, make another push and if she doesn't respond positively (anything other than a yes or a "I can't but let's do this day instead") then forget her. I've dealt with many girls like her, and the bottom line is if you get a second rejection without a makeup date, then she's just not that into you, and is using you for occasional validation. Don't become her orbiter.
/r/seduction05/11/14 03:46 PM
2

I usually have the opposite problem: girls I just want to hook up with always want to date me after we hang out a few times/hook up a few times. I hate having the talk with them. It may be the way you're carrying yourself, or it may be the age thing. You mentioned you're in college meeting them at parties. After hooking up, have you tried going on an actual date with them and not just booty call? I found too that most girls I was hooking up with who wanted to date, it took a few times hooking up…
/r/seduction05/11/14 03:39 PM
2

I wasn't sure if it was bad enough to see a therapist about. I figured if someone else had been through this and maybe can offer a solution, books to read, ways to overcome, etc.
/r/seduction05/11/14 03:23 PM
1

I have done that, and did do that when single. However that's not what I want to do in the long term, and it's when I start getting serious/vulnerable with a girl that these feelings arise. I don't want to avoid a relationship forever if I meet a cool girl.
/r/seduction05/11/14 12:08 PM
1

Make a move, see how it goes. I've been rejected on some and hooked up with plenty others too.
/r/seduction31/10/14 10:30 PM
1

Yup. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing with this one. We're going out tonight, she's spending the night... so it's not like we haven't been hooking up, i'm just trying to make myself ok with a friends with benefits situation instead.
/r/seduction31/10/14 12:04 AM
2

How's your results? I don't often tell a girl she's attractive, but rather just escalate
/r/seduction30/10/14 11:31 PM
1

I wouldn't overthink it. If it were me I'd just go over and start chatting them up.
/r/seduction30/10/14 11:30 PM
3

Do you want to be married? If not, you have nothing to worry about. I'm similar in age to you, and I'm definitely not ready for marriage
/r/seduction30/10/14 06:48 PM
1

Yes, I don't know how "experienced" I am but I have been with my fair share of women, with plenty who wanted to date me but I wasn't into it, dating multipel people at once, etc...But I still get oneitis, it sort of just creeps up on you. Dealing with a bout right now actually I just realized. Feelings arised... she doesn't want to be exclusive but says maybe in the future, the thought of her getting with other dudes really bothers me, and I'm not down for being a Plan B so while I will still ha…
/r/seduction30/10/14 05:58 PM
1

i deleted the original because they told me to put it in askseddit (which I will do...) but when you say pay no attention, how do you mean? No texts/etc? She always seems to want to hang out/sleep over. We're supposed to go out tomorrow to this event). Should I cancel on her and go anyway? that seems a little dickish but I been feeling so conflicted of scaling back just to protect myself and not invest anymore than I already did and wanting to hang out.
/r/seduction30/10/14 05:02 AM
1

Solid point. Thing is, I'm usually not looking for a committed relationship, but with her feelings just sort of developed out of the blue... so I just feel like I'd be sort of hurt if she started hooking up with someone else. I guess you can say i'm a bit terrified of being hurt, and so ending it would be a defense mechanism. Anyway i'll let you know what winds up happening.
/r/seduction29/10/14 02:03 PM
1

I get what you're saying, but on the other hand I feel like that I shouldn't be chasing in hopes of her changing her mind (they never do in these situations...). What she essentially is telling me is "hey, i'm into you, but not enough to commit. I want to see if something better comes along ok?" And I know I'm supposed to be the prize, why should I be trying to convince her to be with me? I'll give it a few more chances, but I feel weird sticking hoping she is going to change her mind you know?
/r/seduction29/10/14 12:32 PM
1

appreciate it. we just been going out, hooking up, etc. Went out last night, and supposed to go out in a few days. You think I should cancel on her? (even though I plan on still going to the event we were going to go to...) She always seems to want to hang out and enjoys hanging out, but I feel like the fact she told me she doesn't want a relationship yet and doesn't want anything serious yet but not opposed... just doesn't want to rush things... that means "I don't want a relationship with you.…
/r/seduction29/10/14 09:02 AM
7

I posted something over 2 years ago about the true causes of oneitis... if anyone is struggling, you might want to check it out. http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/x82zp/oneitis_is_the_easy_way_out_and_the_true/
/r/seduction29/10/14 02:19 AM
2

I also struggle with this, but if you watch the video, you can see a CLEAR difference in the approaches. Some people said "Hello good morning" while just walking by or a quick "hey how are you doing today?". If a girl (or anyone for that matter) sees that as street harrassment, that's their problem.
/r/seduction29/10/14 12:43 AM
1

No. Because when two people Mutually care and love about each other, it's not oneitis. Oneitis is when those feelings aren't returned
/r/seduction28/10/14 01:56 PM
29

Fuck. Turned OP down? Sucks to be her.
/r/seduction28/10/14 01:54 PM
1

You make an excellent point, and you're right... I do have a hard time being vulnerable especially when it comes to getting close. But the fact is i do feel like there are better ways to bring this up than "hey, so where do you see this going?" although i guess that's pretty straight forward enough. If i was bring super vulnerable i would say "hey, so I'm starting to develop feelings for you. I want to take this to the next level" but that terrifies ME, not because of her possible reaction but d…
/r/seduction28/10/14 01:53 PM
2

Thank you, how do you recommend bringing it up? That's my issue...
/r/seduction28/10/14 01:54 AM
1

No, definitely not afraid of being single forever. I just legit like the girl, which is rare for me (girls often try to lock me down. I'm not interested usually). I don't know what it is about her. But yeah i do have a life outside seeing her, but i also feel inner neediness at times of just fear of her hooking up with others... It's irrational but i have some abandonment issues due to a rough childhood / past. I try to not let them creep up on me, but i get terrible irrational anxiety whenever …
/r/seduction28/10/14 01:53 AM
5

Made a thread about this but figure i get some more insight : the best way to transition from casual dating to a relationship without seeming needy?
/r/seduction27/10/14 07:12 PM
2

So let me get this straight. Any guy who now talks to girls is suddenly creepy because one guy is? Looks like humanity is fucked. Seriously though. There's two camps in this thing :those who aspire to be pick up artists and those who work on self improvement. I am in the self improvement camp and never bothered with lairs etc. The reason the guy came off as creepy was because he wasn't socially calibrated / not being honest in his intentions. Just go out, talk to girls like fellow human beings, …
/r/seduction26/10/14 06:14 PM
2

Oh i definitely do, but I'm not sure how to bring up the whole "hey, so we're an item now right?"
/r/seduction26/10/14 12:41 AM
5

Really don't know why you're getting downvoted so much. I appreciate it, i might go over to relationships and ask, i feel more at home here though (been part of seddit for nearly 3 years) On a side note, i don't think a majority of people here are trying to be puas surprisingly. I actually think a lot are just trying to learn to get girls so they can meet the right one.
/r/seduction26/10/14 12:40 AM
7

I wasn't the one who downvoted you, but I disagree with you on that. Seduction is about attracting women, not all of it is the opening stage. I'm trying to learn the best way to go from a simple hookup to exclusiveness without killing attraction by coming off needy. This doesn't apply to one woman, it applies to all women I want to be exclusive with one day. Seduction theory still is used in this stage of the game. It's easy to blow it up at this point still by coming off as too needy, desperate…
/r/seduction25/10/14 10:27 PM
3

I often engage someone else in the group or the whole group and then start talking to the girl
/r/seduction25/10/14 12:30 AM
3

I escalate to the point of rejection or to the point i know she's into me.
/r/seduction25/10/14 12:28 AM
1

Good news though! There's more billions of women on this earth, and even if you are to meet a new girl every few minutes, you would not even come close to meeting them all.
/r/seduction25/10/14 12:22 AM
1

This so hard
/r/seduction25/10/14 12:20 AM
8

Be honest with yourself. How many girls would you say you approach a week? You seem to have a pretty heavy scarcity mindset.
/r/seduction23/10/14 02:26 PM
1

That's exactly what you need to STOP doing. Stop rationalizing them, stop focusing on them. The second you just acknowledge they're there and ACT ANYWAY, you'll feel better. Right now you're letting your fear and emotions control you. I'm going on a date tonight. I have no idea where to go, and I'm nervous as shit. Seriously, I sometimes get diarhea from nerves. I have two choices: Cancel the date because my brain is suddenly scared of this oh so scary gasp girl, essentially knocking my chances …
/r/seduction23/10/14 03:04 AM
4

By exposure. You aren't supposed to fight fear, you won't get anywhere doing that. You need to work with fear : acknowledge you're afraid and do it anyway. Bravery isn't the absence of fear, it's acting even though you're afraid. What are you so afraid of about approaching? Their reaction to you? Guess what you're already deciding for them. What's the worst thing that happens if you approach? She says no? SO WHAT. reframe it, stop thinking oh i wonder if they like me... Instead go up with the at…
/r/seduction22/10/14 10:57 PM
5

Ok I don't drink so not using alcohol is the only way I know how: I like to listen to music, and just crank it before I go out. Helps keep me calm and present and excited. Then, just randomly start talking to people, dancing, or whatever it is you feel like doing when out... the key is to stay present and just feel it. It's tough because we don't have the added advantage of shutting off that part of our analytical mind with alcohol. Mostly, I find if I go out with the goal to just have fun, I ha…
/r/seduction21/10/14 09:57 PM
2

You didn't lose your game, you still have it. You just need to shake the rust off. This happens to me all the time, it's like someone who runs regularly and stops for a few months. Sure that first run is gonna be tough, but just starting again is the hardest part, you'll be back to your old self in soon enough time.
/r/seduction20/10/14 06:03 AM
3

Thanks. It went well, and once i usually show my nerves calm. We wound up hooking up, and I'm into her... Which is giving me a whole other type of anxiety.
/r/seduction20/10/14 12:05 AM
2

AS A LONG TIME SEDDIT USER: This needs to be stickied, with a link to askseddit. Also for this to work we NEED people to go in askseddit and help out. Too often it's a graveyard of questions. I try to go in and answer when i get some free time here and there, we need more people to do the same.
/r/seduction14/10/14 07:41 PM
3

Stop using alcohol as a crutch. I'm not saying don't drink but don't depend on alcohol to get you to approach. If you can do this shit sober, you'll be light years ahead. Being scared is a normal human reaction, but you are not your emotions. Just because you're scared doesn't mean you shouldn't approach. Just go out there and approach. Say hi to some girls, after you realize you won't die from it, have some deeper convos. It's just another person.
/r/seduction10/10/14 03:06 PM
1

This is great even for non newbies who have been slumping/a bit rusty. Fuck it. I'm in starting at the how's your day going
/r/seduction10/10/14 02:53 PM
10

You just do it. You feel the fear, acknowledge, admit to yourself you're scared, and DO IT ANYWAY. Logically think about it... what is there to actually be afraid of? Seriously, think about it. She says no? So what? Check out /r/100sets, whch is a seddit challenge. Yes, I get scared all the time, yes, I chicken out of approaches sometimes... but when I logically think about it, it doesn't make sense. I'm afraid of this girl rejecting me? (when I already am rejecting myself by not approaching?) W…
/r/seduction09/10/14 06:51 PM
1

Wow, lot of people saying to cover the fact you're a programmer. I'm also a programmer, and never has saying the that hurt my game. I'll often make a joke about it "Can't you tell by my introverted ways and how shy and awkward i am around a REAL LIVE FEMALE?!" it usually smashes any stereotypes they have since i tend to clearly be a huge Extrovert.
/r/seduction07/10/14 04:48 AM
1

A lot of people here are pretty big into the whole no fap thing (or at least the case when i was more active on this some years ago) . Personally i haven't noticed much of a difference either way.
/r/seduction05/10/14 11:14 PM
14

You don't. Use text as a meetup tool, meet with them in real life and turn them on there. Idle texting will kill attraction
/r/seduction05/10/14 02:41 PM
1

That's a good call. I need to start talking to everyone again. Living alone and working from home puts you a bit in your head... way too much alone time for an extrovert.
/r/seduction04/10/14 04:42 PM
1

Hey thanks man. When I say I'm in a slump though, I mean with girls but mostly with myself (nervous to approach, seem to have lost some of my inner confidence, etc). I hate to admit this, but after contemplating I think honestly a lot of it stems from a bad sexual experience I had with the most recent girl I had sex with. It sort of shot my confidence and I noticed i'm actually afraid of success, and even when in a sexual situation I avoid it now.
/r/seduction04/10/14 04:22 PM
4

So... What exactly are you doing on seddit
/r/seduction28/09/14 06:01 PM
1

I honestly don't think about these things. If I'm attracted, great. Otherwise, ok. I don't have a conscious list of physical traits a woman must have.
/r/seduction25/09/14 11:51 PM
2

this is better suited for /askseddit (although I didn't downvote you). Use texting as a tool to meet up. You're not going to woo anyone over text.
/r/seduction22/09/14 02:55 AM
1

What I'm saying is it doesn't matter. You're too in your head. Approach. Don't worry about the results. Who cares if sure rejects you, just do an approach and that's your measure for success. Ease into it if you have to. First day just ask 5 random girls for the time. That's it. The time. Next day smile and make eye contact, and give a how are you, start a conversation. Don't worry so much about the outcome. Remember you're already awesome, you're seeing if she'scool enough for you. If you get"r…
/r/seduction19/09/14 03:59 AM
2

I've been in your spot man, and it destroys your mindset. Few things: Even if you don't believe it, I want you to reframe it. Don't think "will this girl like me?" I want you to think "I'm giving this girl a chance to enter my awesome world. Hopefully she's cool enough" 2 AA. No longer does it mean approach anxiety for you. It means "already attracted". You're going to assume these girls are all already attracted to you, even if you have to fake it. It's like ripping a band aid off. You just got…
/r/seduction18/09/14 11:27 PM
2

About the tv, I've heard things like you should keep the tv out of the bedroom. I live alone, and have a tv in my living room, but nothing in the bedroom. Is it really that much of a game changer?
/r/seduction14/09/14 03:15 PM
2

he second step is to just put yourself in the same insecure situation again, on purpose, fully knowing and accepting that you're really insecure about it. I think you're right. I didn't realize how much I've been avoiding sex since the incident, which is ridiculious. It's not this foreign thing, I've had plenty of girls I've hooked up with, and this was by far an exception, bad case of no chemistry. .. Analyze exactly what went wrong, and what steps you can take (now and in the future) to mitiga…
/r/seduction14/09/14 02:48 AM
1

Yes, I was traveling in hostels. Unfortunately I come back soon, but I guess I played it wrong. I made plenty of friends who were girls, but I was trying to make moves on them in the hostel itself (it's worked for me in the past). All good, I had fun regardless, not going to beat myself up over it.
/r/seduction22/08/14 10:08 PM
6

As someone who has been frequenting seduction for years now, I disagree with you that relationships is a terrible place. You can find a lot of good advice in there for specific situations that you won't find in seddit. I've posted in there before and not once was I called something awful or disrespectful. I think it's unfair to shit on them, even though I don't frequent them they definitely fill a niche and a lot of the advice I got there was similar to advice I've gotten here. Your mileage may …
/r/seduction22/08/14 06:15 PM
1

As much as I would love to, I'm traveling today so that might need to take a rain check until tomorrow...
/r/seduction21/08/14 09:39 PM
1

I am currently in Spain. I want to go out tonight but I have not been feeling very good (pounding headache the last two nights...) so I'm pretty conflicted
/r/seduction18/08/14 09:37 PM
1

How do they react when you reassure them?
/r/seduction18/08/14 03:38 PM
1

Well that's the problem. My entire game is conversation based and it's what I excel at. Having that taken away is tough. But I'm going to try to look at this as an opportunity
/r/seduction17/08/14 08:41 PM
1

How do you even do direct game? I honestly am not even sure how to do it without language
/r/seduction17/08/14 07:33 PM
0

I actually read and own that book. He danced with them. Unfortunately I'm a terrible dancer but I can try.
/r/seduction17/08/14 07:32 PM
2

I'm not sure if we're reading the same seddit...Most people are about unlocking that great personality, helping with not giving a shit and just going with it. I'd say routines and what not are in the minority...
/r/seduction17/08/14 10:53 AM
2

It's all about being in the moment and letting your wit flow. Wits for tits.
/r/seduction17/08/14 10:51 AM
4

80 percent of the time it's because the girls are jealous they aren't getting any attention. Try isolating quicker, win the friends over, or get her digits so you can talk later when she gets pulled away
/r/seduction15/08/14 07:08 PM
1

No, I'm actually in Europe. Spain and France. And meeting girls from all over the world in hostels, etc. Maybe I'm not being forward enough...
/r/seduction15/08/14 03:17 AM
1

Whatever works i guess, but I rather have the mindset I'm killing it and I'm giving her a chance in my life as opposed to the date going south so I'm not putting any more effort in.
/r/seduction10/08/14 09:30 PM
1

Ex sex happens all the time. I did it multiple times and it's terrible, the same bullshit for why you broke up on the first place is still there. Don't bother, wish I moved on instead of doing the on off thing a few times, my life would have been so much more drama free.
/r/seduction10/08/14 09:28 PM
3

I mean the fact that I've had a lot of stress in my personal life, that I am hoping to leave at home. I've been in a bit of a depressive funk the past few days (not like clinically depressed, I mean just to try to get out of my head and have fun and enjoy)
/r/seduction10/08/14 04:39 AM
1

I was in your situation last year. Read this. http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1o114r/i_just_got_dumped_a_few_weeks_ago_here_are_the/?sort=confidence
/r/seduction10/08/14 02:00 AM
5

I've gotten good with this through practice but every now and then I've run into one I had issues with. I usually make a joke or something "what is this, a chastity bra?! You're gonna have to help out on this one." Don't make it a big deal
/r/seduction10/08/14 01:53 AM
3

This is the best advice. Girls are much more open to girls approaching them.
/r/seduction04/08/14 11:05 PM
2

Yup. I bet you this is why. I was in a similar situation where me and the girl just had no chemistry in a one night stand. She wasn't getting off, I wasn't either. It came to the point where we were both like"fuck this", and she actually got mean to me because of it (because apparently it doesn't take two for sex) and essentially threw me out. I've had sex with other girls before and never was an issue. I'm guessing you had sex before too and it wasn't an issue either. It happens to the best of …
/r/seduction04/08/14 02:32 PM
1

This happens to me too from time to time. Do you get performance anxiety? Did you have a bad hookup as of late? (This happened to me, and it turned me off sex for a while...)
/r/seduction04/08/14 02:25 PM
0

Because everyone lives in the us and has to follow hipaa... and even in the us because no one ever in the history of ever breaks hipaa laws.
/r/seduction25/07/14 02:02 PM
4

I completely plan on watching the video as I love rsd, but how do you be the exception? I've been in situations too where the girl was like "we're definitely not hooking up" and then definitely did so (in fact, when they say that, I assume it's on)... but it's not always consistent
/r/seduction08/07/14 02:24 AM
2

I'm similar, there's a few possibilities: You fear real intimacy. You only enjoy the chase. You haven't found a girl yet that excites you. I been doing the single thing for a while now, had many girls want to date me, but seriously got excited by maybe 3 that I would consider starting a relationship with.
/r/seduction30/06/14 05:18 AM
1

Appreciate it, honestly this was a one night thing (literally just met her online). I would text her something like that, but seriously she was so incredibly rude to me I don't even have a desire to patch things up. I did chode out a bit last night when I got home and essentially said you seem like a nice girl, sorry things didn't work out (I was feeling pretty low then) but now I realize I should have said nothing to her at all. You don't treat people like shit if it's not going well. It's one …
/r/seduction28/06/14 02:33 PM
2

This might have something to do with it for sure. She was like "I just want you to come" and I was having a hard time doing so to be honest.my issue is I get off if they're getting off, which she clearly wasn't which made it tough for me to. I guess girls are really sensitive to this.
/r/seduction28/06/14 02:08 PM
1

Thanks. It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only guy this happened to. Didn't realize this happened to a lot of other guys, but I guess it's not really the type of thing we'd talk about openly. Yeah, I realize bad matches happen, I'm guessing that is what this was. I tried to have open communication with her, but she wanted me to read her mind and guess what she likes (Tough to do the first time you have sex with them). Ah well, I'll try not to take it personally and chalk it up to a learni…
/r/seduction28/06/14 02:03 PM
2

Thanks, I appreciate it. Definitely is a bit jarring though. Worst part is I think the condom slipped off while I was leaving the house (I was in such a rush to go, I forgot to take it off...and I'm pretty sure it slipped off somewhere like her kitchen or something. Ugh. So embarassing. Sounds like she has some issues I thought so too. She seemed normal until the bad sex, I feel like most people would have just been like "hey can we stop?" and then leave it at that or tell the other what they li…
/r/seduction28/06/14 09:49 AM
1

Have fun. Don't put any high expectations on it (aka don't be all outcome dependent "I'M IN VEGAS I NEED TO FUCK!") A lot of it is blown out of proportion and yes people are looking to party but people do that everywhere. If you don't get laid it's not the end of the world. Know when to stop gambling. Oh my god this so hard.
/r/seduction25/06/14 04:47 AM
1

Stop worrying about how you compare to others or if it's good or not. It's really how you want to utilize your time. I find tinder to be a bit of a timesuck, because 90% of girls are on there for validation, and you really have to go through a lot of matches depending on your age group, etc. If you enjoy using it, and have fun on these dates then keep it up. If it's a chore, then stop. Don't let it become your primary focus though.
/r/seduction25/06/14 04:44 AM
2

Stop that. Block her. I know it's not easy and I couldn't bring myself to do it with my ex, but she actually wound up blocking me on everything (for some stupid reason that had nothing to do with us) but it made my life SO much easier and better once I went no contact. I'm 3 months in without talking to her, looking at her profile, etc and it made everything a LOT better. Just fucking do it.
/r/seduction25/06/14 04:40 AM
2

First and foremost: get rid of any pictures of her. If you can't, put them in a box and store them somewhere. You need time dude. Breakups are never easy, and the last thing you need to be doing is pining for her.
/r/seduction20/06/14 02:40 PM
7

Nothing quick. You should really just read it.
/r/seduction16/06/14 05:12 AM
1

Haha no one was answering in askseddit, figure I try my luck here. All good.
/r/seduction10/06/14 11:44 PM
1

Thanks for the response. I'm trying not to think about it, if it was any other girl I wouldn't, I'd just shrug and next, but the fact it's a good friend of mine... well I don't want to weird her out even though we've made out before. This makes me a bit nervous to make a move on her again, but whatever.
/r/seduction10/06/14 03:42 PM
1

I've read the book, it's good about self-improvement in general. I consider myself a feminist... not all material is all bitterness towards women. Some other coaches you should look into and their material if you're interested in that type of improvement (which I am). David Wygant Real Social Dynamics (especially the blueprint decoded) Models by Mark mason and his blog in general, some good posts on there. Also don't group MRA with seddit, not the case AT ALL. Most of us here are non-MRA friendl…
/r/seduction10/06/14 12:09 AM
1

good point. Sadly I've been in a similar situation, I keep failing to make a move with this good friend of mine who I've made out with previously like 3 months ago, she lives out of town, I see her maybe once or twice a month due to distance. It's usually logistics as we're always in a huge group of friends, but yesterday I got her briefly over my house (had to pick up my ID) but hesitated to make a move. Any other girl I would have in a heartbeat but since we're already friends I hesitated. Not…
/r/seduction08/06/14 11:08 PM
1

I like this song and the donnas, but what's the message of it related to this post? Too available? One time thing?
/r/seduction08/06/14 03:07 PM
3

Environmental confidence is a very common issue, I have the same and my biggest goal in life is to have actual untouchable confidence everywhere I go. Tyler from rsd touches on this a lot so search some things from him or check out the blue print decoded, but pretty much he says: our brain allows us to work in certain ways for different social situations due to outdated evolution. If you're surrounded by friends, then you feel "safe", but if you're out in a new place or don't know anyone then yo…
/r/seduction08/06/14 03:02 PM
1

Be careful of shitting where you eat (aka work is usually Bad idea) It depends on the girl. That's like saying "how hard is it to hook up with a girl". Talk to them, suggest hanging out outside of work.
/r/seduction03/06/14 03:55 AM
3

I can't speak for your friend, but I have PLENTY of female friends, and always have even when I was in a relationship (one was 6 years, one was a few months). I never cheated, EVER. How? Because it's ok to be attracted to other people. It's biology, you can't control that. It would be insane to not be attracted to others... but you know what you can control? Your actions, you don't need to act on it because you're attracted. I had girls who were mutually attracted, who I easily could of hooked u…
/r/seduction03/06/14 03:33 AM
2

As a guy, we also get burnt out messaging. I don't online date like okcupid, occasionally use tinder but it's tiring to come up with an oh so interesting question hoping to get a response. I noticed when I don't give a shit and just say whatever is on my mind or make a ridiculous comment, it does much better.
/r/seduction02/06/14 02:18 AM
1

If they respond like that, be happy! She just saved you time dealing with her bullshit and is an unpleasant person. Neeeeext.
/r/seduction02/06/14 02:16 AM
11

Pushing 30, this guy has it right. People have this bullshit idea about what being a "man" is. They think it means you need to act mature all the time, stop having fun, and taking yourself way too goddamn seriously. It's none of that. Have fun, go party, go make mistakes, you're young. Don't take life too seriously, don't be in a rush to grow up. Being a man in my opinion is having confidence, no longer looking for approval, being in control of your emotions, and not hurting others intentionally…
/r/seduction02/06/14 01:57 AM
0

It depends, I'm involved in a lot of activities so I always have SOMETHING going on, but I usually do wind up at a bar/dance party/etc.to hang out with people.I'm not much of a home body so if I don't go out I tend to feel stir crazy. I'm trying to actually be more ok with staying in because I definitely have a bit of fear of missing out going on
/r/seduction01/06/14 03:48 AM
0

I'm actually the opposite. I go out probably like 4-5 times a week, but then I just don't open some nights.
/r/seduction31/05/14 09:06 PM
1

I also seriously believe that women can sense when a guy has not released a load in weeks. Kind of nitpicking here, but from an evolutionary perspective, this would actually be detrimental. Girls want guys who are desirable. But if it works for you, keep it up.
/r/seduction31/05/14 06:49 PM
25

I tried once on vacation. it was super awkward and they made me feel like a weirdo for saying hi to a random girl (they don't believe in talking to strangers, keep to yourself type... begged me not to). Yeah, looking back i see where a lot of my approach anxiety stems from...
/r/seduction31/05/14 06:09 PM
7

Stop being so outcome dependent. Yes, I am guilty too as is almost everyone here, but really you need to change your frame of mind. Go out with the intention to have fun. That's it. You're going to have fun. If you meet a cool girl who wants to mash genitals with you, cool. If not, cool. You'll go do something else fun. It always seems like a bigger deal than it really is when you don't hook up. Who cares? There's been plenty of times where I'd bring a cute girl back, be in bed with her and thin…
/r/seduction31/05/14 06:08 PM
14

you're probably not acting as confident around them. I've seen dudes who many girls considered not attractive hook up (and shit, marry) really physically attractive girls. My theory? You're using this number system (i hook up with 7s not 10s!) which essentially means you're placing these girls on a higher value right off the bat. I'd stop thinking of a number system, or if you must... go binary. Yes I'd hook up, no I wouldn't. It's a common issue the confidence in front of girls who you are real…
/r/seduction31/05/14 06:04 PM
1

Really glad I read this, and glad I'm not the only one going through this. I've been part of this subreddit for 3 years, some of my posts are in the sidebar about inner game, and I know this stuff well enough... but there's still been a shit ton of ups and downs. Lately I've been in a bit of a valley, where last month I've had girls wanting to hook up left and right and I could open with not too much issue, and now I'm having issues simply opening. Nothing has changed, except my mindset. Trying …
/r/seduction31/05/14 05:57 PM
1

Have her introduce you to her friends.
/r/seduction31/05/14 02:17 AM
2

Stop referring to yourself as a player. You are building a bs identity which makes you harder on yourself. Don't go out with the intention of "picking up"girls. Go out with the intention of having fun and talking to people, flirting, etc. You are making yourself outcome dependent if you go to pick up girls. It's all in your head. Shit I've been in a similar place lately. Nothing is different about you besides the fact you are mentally blocking yourself than the previous version of you. You're th…
/r/seduction31/05/14 02:13 AM
1

I would. Oneitis is UNREQUITED. If you're all about one girl, and it's mutual, it's not oneitis.
/r/seduction30/05/14 03:46 PM
40

I go over and she gives me a warm hug "how are you cutie" That's the best part about the story. SHe had no idea who you were.
/r/seduction30/05/14 03:40 PM
2

I feel that if I don't try to impress them then they won't like me And this mindset right here is what's wrong. You shouldn't care if they like you or not. You're giving them a chance to see if you like them. If they don't like you? No skin off your nose.
/r/seduction24/05/14 04:32 PM
4

throw yourself in man. You gotta learn to live more in the present. I recommend checking out a book by eckhart tolle called power of now. Get past the spiritual bullshit, and the first half is really good on how to remain present.
/r/seduction22/05/14 08:15 PM
5

Yes, I do. Yes it's tougher, but you got to get over it. Who cares if you're "judged" by some strangers you don't know.
/r/seduction22/05/14 08:13 PM
1

Escalation anxiety. Don't overthink it, the chick was into you. You just gotta push through it. Realize nerves don't control you and you'll get better with practice. I used to be in the same boat as you years ago, after being in that situation a bunch you're nervous feelings will go away and it'll be more excitement.
/r/seduction22/05/14 07:28 PM
1

While not the greatest opener, it's a numbers game. Those chicks just weren't receptive. You can't control others reactions to you, you have no idea what's going on in their heads. Maybe the cold girl gets anxiety or is generally an unpleasant person, maybe she just got off the phone with her mother who is hounding her about something, or she is irritable because she's hungry. The point is, don't get hung up on this.
/r/seduction22/05/14 07:24 PM
1

Be honest with yourself. How many girls are you approaching a day on average?
/r/seduction22/05/14 07:21 PM
5

You are over thinking this WAY too hard. Just go up to her and say hi, and start a conversation. It doesn't matter about what, make an observation if you want: "man, it's awesome out today" etc. Just go up and say hey. Yes, I realize it's easier said than done when you have all this fear holding you back. But remember what fear is: False evidence appearing real.
/r/seduction20/05/14 08:22 PM
1

Be upfront. I have had similar issues, and from the beginning told them "listen, I'm not looking for anything serious at all". Most girls tell me they're cool with that. Of course, some girls say they're cool with it and then get clingy. At the first sign of clinginess, stop hooking up with them.
/r/seduction20/05/14 08:17 PM
1

It sounds like you're battling with a bout of depression. Check out the book "Power Of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. There's a lot of spirtual fluff in there, which I don't like AT ALL, but if you get past that, the whole book is about quieting that inner voice. Definitely a solid read and worth your time.
/r/seduction20/05/14 02:49 PM
1

DUde, this is bigger than girls. What about yourself aren't you happy with? Your weight? Look at your accomplishments man. you were almost 400 pounds, and you're now 290. YOU LOST 110 POUNDS. That's fucking unbelievably impressive. Focus on the positives. You have women interested in you, where they're approaching you. Yes, looks matter, but it's NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. I've seen huge dudes get mad girls just because of their sheer confidence. To get over self-loathing, it may be worth to …
/r/seduction20/05/14 04:35 AM
1

I'm actually in a huge city, but sometimes you still get burnt out in general. I'll try maybe going to a different town to visit or something, maybe I just need a change of scenery. or just a good night sleep.
/r/seduction19/05/14 03:10 AM
1

That actually makes me more outcome dependent and anxious. I noticed I do better nights I do than when I abstain.
/r/seduction17/05/14 06:06 PM
1

Yeah, I know fluctuations and slumps are normal, but it's super frustrating to feel as if you're game plummeted for no reason, and more importantly mood and confidence. I'll try your strategy of writing 5 good things, that sounds like it can help a lot.
/r/seduction17/05/14 02:14 PM
1

While I agree this helps, this definitely isn't my issue, as I do this very regularly, almost to the point of overdoing it with all the sports I play
/r/seduction17/05/14 02:12 PM
2

Hey man! I haven't been as active on here as I used to, trying to change that. You're right. After I posted this I looked some stuff up about it too and they compared it a lot to a sports slump. I play a lot of sports so I can relate to that, they said once you get mental about it ("why am I slumping, what did I do wrong") you're on a downward spiral so I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. I like your strategy of just talking. I'm going to try that, then there's really no pressure. I think…
/r/seduction17/05/14 02:11 PM
11

You should stop overanalyzing. Assume attraction until proven otherwise. She flaked, but she wants to meet up. Do it, and if she flakes again, put her on the back burner.
/r/seduction07/05/14 06:24 AM
2

Logically I get this, I realize it displays low confidence and trying to live up to others standards, however, I'm not sure how to practically deal with the issue. An example would be I'm alone in a new city and traveled all day, only got 2 or 3 hours of sleep and have to wake up early. Logically the best thing to do is sleep. However my brain is like "you can be out meeting girls, your friends back home are out, your ex is out (I hate how much that one affects me)... I have a hard time just bei…
/r/seduction03/05/14 02:31 PM
3

While I agree, I prefer for casual hookups to not want to date me. It leads to complications and things getting messy and potential for people getting hurt.
/r/seduction03/05/14 04:51 AM
2

Logically it's easy. Realize that your read her wrong, invested more than her, and perceived something to be there that isn't. Getting your emotions to match is tougher. I find the best thing to do is give yourself some distance from her for a while (don't make a big deal of it, just become busy... no need for dramatic talks) and go talk to other women until you're at a point you're completely over her (currently doing this with an ex who've I've been on and off with... distance and time really …
/r/seduction02/05/14 02:09 AM
1

Do you like cracking jokes or are you doing it for others amusement? I do it because I find it hilarious and I enjoy it, not to impress others. If you enjoy doing it and not looking for validation with it then I'd say you're fine. Now, you say you feel boring and not giving value. Just you being there, having fun, gives value. People seem to think "oh I can't make people laugh that means I'm a dancing monkey gotta go all stoic." You can find a middle ground.
/r/seduction26/04/14 12:08 AM
6

You're going to die one day. Your time here is limited. None of this shit will matter, have fun now. As a regular contributor for the past 3 years, All of seddit can be boiled down to this: -assume attraction -approach -escalate -don't give a fuck if you get blown out
/r/seduction26/04/14 12:04 AM
6

Honestly, don't worry about it. Realize it's her own insecurities. You made a move, you got rejected...you moved on. She's awkward about it, you need to have a stronger frame than her. I've noticed if I act/feel awkward, girls will do the same. If I feel at ease then they do too. And in the cases where they don't, fuck it. No skin off my nose. Don't let it get to you
/r/seduction14/04/14 10:58 PM
7

"Hey so you should come get coffee with me. Actually scratch that I have a lot of better things to do actually and don't have time for you." Then ride motorcycle off into sunset
/r/seduction13/04/14 12:42 AM
45

Agree on most, except the apologizing thing. If you randomly bump into someone, it's common courtesy. It doesn't make you less of a man to say sorry or apologize. This machismo attitude is ridiculous. Otherwise, solid list.
/r/seduction12/04/14 01:45 AM
1

This might backfire, and you need a lot of self control. When you have a girl in your bed ready to go, it might be tough to say no, especially after a few drinks. Proceed with caution.
/r/seduction04/04/14 06:16 AM
1

Should i not go and let him get her or be alpha and try to win her. Wrong mindset. You're trying to "win" her? Dude, you're the prize, remember that. Now what you want to do is up to you... but personally if it were me: If a buddy of mine was hooking up with a girl, and had a date planned with her, I wouldn't go and try to "outgame" my friend on his own date. He made a move, you didn't. Lucky for you there are shitloads of girls. The last thing I would want to do is hurt a friendship over a rand…
/r/seduction03/04/14 09:38 PM
9

I hate the whole alpha/beta bullshit because people here obsess over it, but it's all about attitude. You could be gay, a woman, etc and still be what most people here would consider "alpha" I don't care if you're wearing a dress, if you have the attitude that you do it because you want to and don't give a shit what people think, that's alpha as fuck. So you like styling your hair and picking out your clothes. If you're worried what others think of that, and let it get to you if they call you ga…
/r/seduction18/03/14 06:47 PM
1

Listen. I was in the same boat. If it's going to affect you that much, don't go and find something else fun to do. But that's hypocritical of me, because I always went. What I did instead: paid her no mind. I said hi, exchanged some light pleasantries, and then went on my way (even though she was with my group of friends). I went off on my own and just talked to a shit ton of girls. It went really well and I didn't give a fuck what she was doing because I had my own shit going on. But I know it'…
/r/seduction12/03/14 02:52 PM
2

Only do this if you're not going to get all oneitis. Try to get with girl, if it doesn't work, then just be friends (anId truly just be friends, don't get all depressed "how do I get out of the friend zone" A lot of my friends are girls I've hooked up with in the past. But you can meet girls a number of ways, different hobbies etc.
/r/seduction12/03/14 02:37 PM
2

Seriously. It took me a while to get to that point, and I'm still trying to, but after dating months my ex was all "i can't be in a relationship" and then we were on and off for almost a year. I realized how little of a shit she gave about me (there's a lot of fucked up stuff I'm leaving out...) and used me for an ego stroke, and if she wanted to be with me she'd do so. It's tough, but she's not fuck yeah... and I deserve way better than someone who feels wishy washy about me and treats me terri…
/r/seduction12/03/14 06:21 AM
8

You have to make a move. Push to the point of rejection. If you're playing it safe then you won't get anywhere. Slowly escalate. Source: made out with a really good friend of mine yesterday. Edit: also the "fuck yeah"principle. Pretty much, if she isn't fuck yeah, then it's fuck no. So if you're looking for a relationship and she's being wishy washy, it's fuck no. You don't have time for that.
/r/seduction11/03/14 11:35 PM
-4

Some of us can't put on body weight. I'm toned from being athletic and sports, but by god, I can't put muscle on me to save my life. Way too Skinny forever
/r/seduction11/03/14 11:30 PM
2

You ignore the shit out of it, and quite honestly, you might wanna do the same to her.
/r/seduction09/03/14 12:56 AM
3

I actually really like a lot of their stuff, and their products are also inner game, at least the stuff I've seen. The Blue Print Decoded? That's like 20 hours of inner game.
/r/seduction07/03/14 07:25 AM
1

Thanks man. The bullshit is everytime I run into her, she's all over me, "I miss you, I still care about you" etc. But then she'll run and fuck someone else almost immediately after. Like I know right now, just through friends status updates that she's heading over some dude's house she started seeing. A dude, I might add, who just met her at the club I visited her at (she was bartending) and after I left, he got her number apparently, and they hung out the other night. I know this because I str…
/r/seduction07/03/14 05:26 AM
1

Thanks man. We weren't that long term. dated seriously for 6 months then were on and off another 6, but the emotions were still there. I feel like it shouldn't be this hard based on how straight up awful she treated me (she basically has no respect for me as a person what so ever) and even HER friends told me that I deserved better than the shit I was putting up with. I need to get stronger boundaries, that's the thing I need to change about myself and get more self respect to not put up with th…
/r/seduction06/03/14 05:13 PM
1

You're right. She is very manipulative, however my stupid optimism is too quick to forgive and forget and hope for the best. I keep fucking up and letting her back in for some stupid reason. I just wish I could get over her.
/r/seduction06/03/14 05:08 AM
1

Thanks for the advice. It's weird, obviously I miss her, and I feel awful (I realize it's the ego and it's a chemical dependacy), but even knowing all of that stuff doesn't help for some reason. I understand I feel this way because I loved her, which is something very rare for me to do, and just to get repeatedly burned not only makes me feel terrible and hurt, it also makes me question my own sanity. Why am I so weak to keep opening myself up? Then the questions come in: what does he have that …
/r/seduction06/03/14 05:05 AM
1

This is the problem. When she sees me she gets all flirty and trying to make out with me, etc. It really is just a mindfuck. I stayed strong a bunch but I caved a few times too, and she leads me to believe she actually does give a shit about me and wants things to work. Clearly that's not the case at all.
/r/seduction06/03/14 05:02 AM
1

Why are you positive you're going to get rejected? You're choosing for her. Let HER make that decision, don't reject yourself before even giving yourself a shot.
/r/seduction27/02/14 04:10 PM
75

Solid article, but one thing I'd like to add: Sometimes the break-up has NOTHING to do with you, and all to do with them. I see too many of these articles where it's like "oh you weren't awesome enough". Sometimes the girl really just has issues and there is nothing you can do to control it. I'm trying to accept this fact, because not being able to control something is scary . But yeah, sometimes it's not you... don't beat yourself up so much.
/r/seduction27/02/14 04:09 PM
1

While I don't share the same beliefs as you, you're right about turning it into a leaning experience. I'm trying to do that (I put up with much more bullshit from this girl than I ever should have) and the fact I'm even upset about her is what upsets me. She treated me like complete shit but I'm still upset? I really shouldn't give a fuck at all.
/r/seduction15/02/14 01:12 AM
1

The only thing that turns me off from him a bit is the spiritual side of things. I'm not really spiritual. What are some of the better talks you'd recommend listening to
/r/seduction15/02/14 01:10 AM
1

Thank you for this. In the first scenario it definitely wasn't neglect. But you're right, I have to accept the things beyond my control, and that's what the last few days I've been having a very hard time doing even though this happened a few weeks ago. I don't have a scarcity mind set with finding a girl to sleep with, that I know there's plenty. The issue is I DO face a scarcity mindset for girls I will legitimately feel something for. In my entire life, I have been with plenty of girls, but I…
/r/seduction15/02/14 12:58 AM
1

I actually read the power of now, and that's what I'm sort of trying to accomplish
/r/seduction15/02/14 12:49 AM
2

It's been said here a thousand times, yet people still don't believe it: looks aren't everything. They help, but having a confident attitude is more important.
/r/seduction07/02/14 04:37 AM
1

It's more my approach anxiety will go through the roof and I'm so nervous to approach while other days I couldn't give a crap and do anyway
/r/seduction04/02/14 02:14 PM
1

Nope. Don't even drink
/r/seduction04/02/14 02:13 PM
1

You sound young still, and this is better suited in relationships, but: Stop referring her as the love of your life. She's not. I know you think she is, but if she was, she'd still be with you.She's just another chapter in your life, and that chapter just ended. Meet new people. Get involved in hobbies, go meet other girls, talk to strangers and befriend. Realize life is short. You can dwell over this girl who was just not that into you (sorry it's harsh, but the truth) or you can see it as an o…
/r/seduction03/02/14 02:36 AM
1

You're worrying too much about the material, and not worrying enough about just getting out there. Yes, gain inner game but that's a life long process. Learn the basics from the side bar, and just get out there. Everything else is just mental masturbation.
/r/seduction03/02/14 02:31 AM
1

HappyJerk, I know you know your shit, and you've helped me out a bunch before, and this girl sounds just like my ex who did something VERY similar, and I'm still hurting from it. It's tough, I know because I'm going through it too, but this isn't one of those cases where you should analyze what you did wrong, etc. You could have done everything right and it still would have fucked up, because this girl is unstable. The biggest problem you had, was falling for the wrong girl and putting up with m…
/r/seduction03/02/14 02:25 AM
2

Ok. I have been in a similar situation without the cheating. My ex ended things with me, wanted to get back, ended it, repeat. It takes a toll man. She's co dependent on you. No self respecting person will go back to a cheater, and no self respecting person (you in this instance) should just hook up when you want to date again. I've been there, and it chips away at you. She's saying "I am attracted to you, but wanna fuck other dudes". If you are truly ok with that then you can set up a friend wi…
/r/seduction21/01/14 04:43 AM
2

You're getting too into your head and becoming outcome dependent. Try this as an experiment: go out one night with NO intentions of hooking up. Just talk to everyone, including hot girls. Once you get past that and see your convos flow easier, next time you approach a girl, reframe it as "my life i s awesome, I'm giving this girl a chance to be part of it. If she is cool enough, I'll let her in if she impresses me." You'd be amazed how much changes by just taking off the mental pressure.
/r/seduction21/01/14 04:35 AM
1

Dude. Take throwaways advice. There is some heavy baggage that comes with this that WILL most likely end in heartbreak for you even if you got with her. Trust me on this.
/r/seduction21/01/14 04:31 AM
3

Give it another shot, but go meet other girls too. A busy girl will make time if they're really interested.
/r/seduction21/01/14 04:30 AM
1

Thanks man, you nailed it. She wound up coming back again... and this time around I need to be more willing to let her go if she tries to treat me like shit again. It's so tough to sever that tie though. I will work on this. Last chance. It's funny, with girls I just meet I have stricter boundaries... it's the ones I care about I let too much slide. I actually think in your situation with the girl, you handled it better than saying "I'm sure he will be a loser compared to me." that seems like yo…
/r/seduction06/01/14 06:25 PM
1

I have been doing the approach other girls thing, and have been with others during our "off" periods. It still didn't kill the oneitis completely.
/r/seduction06/01/14 03:36 PM
1

Thanks for this happyjerk. I know you know your stuff, and some of these hit really close to home (you've actually posted in a few of my submissions asking for advice). By far, the biggest issue for me is drawing strong boundaries w girls I have oneitis with. Lately it's been a girl who I dated, after dating many women over the years she was the 2nd I ever fell in love with. How do I draw stronger boundaries? She treats me less than desirable at times (it's like a sine wave, some times it's awes…
/r/seduction06/01/14 04:29 AM
4

I think the community is right man. We need to walk away. It's a new year, we gotta start with a clean slate no matter how tough it is. I am going to try not and allow myself to grasp onto 2013's baggage
/r/seduction01/01/14 12:55 PM
0

No we were starting to hook up and get back together, and then she just went cold. Completely ditching me to go to another bar that her other ex just oh so happened to be hanging out at. It hurts, but it's beyond my control.
/r/seduction01/01/14 12:53 PM
0

Thanks man. I truly appreciate the advice. In order for me to completely out her from my life, I would have to get rid of some very dear friends and stop going to the events I love (we have the same friends). You're right though, I am in limerace, mostly due to how quick things turned. This was her 3rd chance, and she blew it with the best thing to ever happen to her. I am being a little bitch about it. I know, I'm going to try to stop. Damn, I'll make it my new years resolution. It hurts but I'…
/r/seduction01/01/14 10:11 AM
-2

The rejection of being left yet again for someone else just makes me feel so little. I know it's beyond my control, but she has hopped back and forth between us too many times, and the worst part is even after all this, I'm still hopeful they'll be a message explaining what happened tonight. It's a terrible feeling, and I can't find the strength within to just move on.
/r/seduction01/01/14 09:50 AM
0

I appreciate you take the time to respond, I read a few chapters of "the power of now"tonight to help me try to cope. I get it, but I don't feel it. I really care about this woman, and I also can't just let go. I'm trying, I really am trying to let go of the hurt... But I just keep waking up and feeling like I'm going to throw up. I tell myself focus on the now and not think of her, but it goes right back to her and how she is hooking up with someone else all while getting me she cares for only …
/r/seduction01/01/14 09:45 AM
1

I know you're right, it seems like she already made the choice. It just fucking stings. And I know in a few weeks she'll be right back trying to hook up with me. All I can think about is how she's obviously hooking up with her ex again right now, while she told me she wanted to be with me like less than a week ago. I can't even sleep, I feel like such shit.
/r/seduction01/01/14 07:44 AM
1

How do I get past that? I don't think she's intentionally manipulative or trying to hurt me, I think she has no idea what she wants in life and I keep getting caught up in the mess.
/r/seduction01/01/14 07:19 AM
2

How did you internalize this? That seems to be the most difficult part for me. I know the concepts logically, but I have a hard time internalizing them.
/r/seduction31/12/13 08:49 PM
3

He's trolling.
/r/seduction22/12/13 06:17 PM
4

Your thinking is really flawed. Fucking a lot of women doesn't make you a scum bag. The fact that you think it does means you have negative connotations about sex. In my view, a scumbag is one who needs to lie, manipulate, put women down, play on insecurities to have sex (and no I'm not talking about flirtatious negging).
/r/seduction22/12/13 08:58 AM
1

Don't over think it. Escalate Refra me it so you're not nervous, you're giving her a chance to be with you. 4 see step1
/r/seduction21/12/13 07:48 AM
2

Oneitis is unrequited affection. If she's into you, not oneitis
/r/seduction15/12/13 02:31 AM
2

You're not assuming attraction. When a girl interacts with you, assume attraction until proven otherwise. It sounds like you're nervous about it, even when girls are approaching you. We all freeze up, I was out of state the other night, and I did the same thing (turned away, etc). But I was aware why, I let my anxiety get the best of me. Girls who are interested in you will often make it easy for you to approach them, they'll go RIGHT up to you, etc. but they often won't be the first to say some…
/r/seduction15/12/13 12:49 AM
1

Honestly it just tells me how insecure they are. Social media is a giant validation machine.
/r/seduction14/12/13 05:39 AM
1

Unfortunately, the whole definition of love is essentially making yourself vulnerable. And yes it's terrifying as shit
/r/seduction14/12/13 05:37 AM
1

Well you just answered your own question. Do what you want to do. Although I don't think it's ruined because you didn't bang on the first time she came over. It's your choice, if you meet again though I would take the pressure off yourself and not make a big deal if it doesn't happen
/r/seduction14/12/13 05:34 AM
1

I try to remind myself that this is the only life I have and it's short. Really Fucking short and way too short to spend an ounce of energy worrying what other people think about me. Besides, they're too worried about what I think of them.
/r/seduction14/12/13 02:15 AM
3

She sounds annoying, and she posted because she wanted the validation of "oh hey look this guy hit on me and said I was funny and cute but I'm soooooo offended".
/r/seduction14/12/13 02:11 AM
3

I definitely agree to an extent. If it was a one time flake, sometimes things come up or you don't feel well (I've definitely had to flake on people for health issues, just in a bad mood, etc) but if it's a repeat thing then you start to wonder. You're right that not everyone has it in them. I learned that the hard way through relationships, I fell for girls who were just not capable of having a loving, secure relationship due to their emotional baggage. I've been hurt by it, but at the same tim…
/r/seduction14/12/13 02:07 AM
2

I was in your shoes. It's always tough coming back into your single form when out for so long. Shit, I'm struggling getting back to where I was after a 6 month relationship (although I became awesome after a 6 year one as well, and you'll do fine, just as I will again). Now, it sounds like you're being really outcome dependent. You are overthinking it, because you're wrapping up your self-worth in their reaction to you. I know, because I am guilty of the same. Stop worrying so much. So a girl re…
/r/seduction14/12/13 01:05 AM
2

Girls coming to your apartment and making out with you is far from rejection. You are placing way too much importance on sex. Not everyone is going to want to sleep with you first time coming over. Sometimes, they do sometimes they don't. It might be a sticking point, but I wouldn't call it failures. The fact that you're being so outcome dependent about sex is probably shining through your actions to these girls. A lot of times though, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
/r/seduction14/12/13 12:58 AM
3

While there are a lot of good points in here, there is one harping issue I see. There is too much focus on making sure others around you are having fun, specifically with lines like "If others aren't having fun, then you shouldn't either. No. Fuck what other people are doing. The crazy thing is when YOU have fun and not give a shit about others having fun or not, that's when other people will have fun and want to be around you. Self amusement is an important thing. I'm not saying go and be an as…
/r/seduction14/12/13 12:54 AM
6

How do you really ingrain these inner game ideas in your head? Something I've been struggling with for years. I know girls want me, I know their reaction doesn't matter, but when I'm out, if I'm not in state I'm frozen. How can I really ingrain these ideas?
/r/seduction10/12/13 03:46 AM
1

Thanks man, like tonight I made out with this girl, logistics didn't work, unfortunately but it was a friend of a friend. Then I was meeting up with this other girl and she was there with this dude I guess she's been seeing, and then I guess he saw me as a threat and got jealous (I've hooked up with the girl plenty) that they both just left without really saying anything to me (we'll be right back! And then flaked.) After that, even though it shouldn't have, my state dropped so hard I couldn't m…
/r/seduction08/12/13 07:47 AM
3

Shit. This is exactly what my ex girlfriend did to me. Pushed me away hard once we got closer on an emotional level. It's hard for me to come to terms with it, that it wasn't me.
/r/seduction08/12/13 07:38 AM
1

Thanks for the advice man. I just need to be reminded that progress is slow with it, it's tough to see what you used to be able to do, and when you regress (as an athlete, I am all too familiar with this concept with physical injuries as well). I'll keep pushing forward and remind myself I obviously have it in me, I've done it before and can do it again. Shaking rust off is a freaking challenge.
/r/seduction07/12/13 03:55 PM
1

A month dude. You gave it a month before throwing in the towel. You think a lifelong, instilled belief system, society norms, and bad habits you probably had since you hit puberty is going to disappear in a month? Get ouuuutta here, this shit takes time! And there will be setbacks. You can dwell on your missed opportunities, how you don't get it, etc... or you can throw yourself back out there and live life and have fun.
/r/seduction07/12/13 08:25 AM
2

This is going to happen, not the first, probably not the last time... happens to the best of us, we're human. Just chalk it up as a learning experience and go meet some more girls
/r/seduction07/12/13 08:22 AM
2

It's only as awkward as you make it. You have no idea what's going on with her, it might not have anything to do with you. Maybe she went home, hooked up with an ex or bf, and then decided she needed to just be alone. Maybe she has second thoughts. I had a girl I had sex with, things went great, and suddenly she acted cold towards me. Turns out she was seeing someone. Who cares about the reason? She didn't text you back so I would move on. If you see her, acknowledge her, and just act like she's…
/r/seduction07/12/13 08:19 AM
2

Is that honestly what you got out of they post?
/r/seduction07/12/13 08:15 AM
5

In the future, put this in askseddit, as this is a specific situation regarding a girl. But my advice: You're young. Most of us have been in your shoes at some point in our lives, and it's ok. It's hard for you to see now, but years from now you're going to look back and wonder why did you care so much. I know that doesn't help now. You need to stop all contact with this girl. You don't "love"her, you're codependent on her. If you loved her, you would be happy that's she is happy now and it woul…
/r/seduction03/12/13 10:17 PM
3

First of all, stop boring them so much that they pull out their phone. While I agree with you on the other points, I don't think this first line is good advice. An interaction takes two people, sometimes people are just off in their own world or straight up addicted to their phone. I don't think guys should be trying to "win" girls over their electronic device.
/r/seduction03/12/13 04:50 PM
1

o the only thing you can do is get back out there and stop giving a fuck. Being out of state is not an excuse though, there is a video of Tyler Durden being out of state and still pulling girls. Yeah, I know you're right. Right action is definitely a concept I know of, but haven't mastered for sure. Your football analogy is spot on, it's just really discouraging to regress like that. I am also coming off an injury, and I've been struggling with the regression of that too (I'm not allowed to lift…
/r/seduction03/12/13 03:42 PM
1

You are 100% right. I need to get back into that good frame of mind again. I think not being able to work out is also taking a toll a bit, plus winter blues (which looking through my past submitted posts, I noticed I have trouble with yearly it turns out)
/r/seduction03/12/13 03:38 PM
1

Realize you're doing it as a defense mechanism to prevent you from approaching. She'll tell you if she has a bf. And if she does, it's no big deal.
/r/seduction03/12/13 07:20 AM
1

I should note that I think the breakup (for the 2nd time, after she chose someone else again) has messed with my confidence some, which is ridiculous. Usually I'd take this opportunity to try and improve myself by working out, etc but due to an injury I'm not allowed to do that for a long time.
/r/seduction03/12/13 07:16 AM
1

Your last paragraph nails it. My ex and I split then quasi got back together (we were "exclusively"hooking up) but I never really felt like she was 100 percent in it. Sure enough, she dropped me out of the blue to go hook up with someone else. Feels bad man. Although I did hook up with someone else later that night... I'm having a hard time building abundance back up.
/r/seduction03/12/13 02:22 AM
6

Every one preaches mediation. How do I do this? I have a.d.d and focusing doing nothing makes me not only incredibly bored, but gives me so much random anxiety I start like nervous twitching and shit. So for someone like me, how do I begin meditating? I can never seem focused on nothing for more than a split second.
/r/seduction03/12/13 02:17 AM
1

Sorry to hear, that's really tough. Not every girl is, I know it's hard to see that now (and trust me, my past two relationships, one 6 years long... the girl left for someone else one left twice, who they hooked up with before we broke up...so I feel for you) but not every girl is awful. It's tough to see, but it's better to find out sooner than later. I ran into my ex tonight, it was tough to not show emotion, but I acted like I didnt give a fuck. And while it stings, I deserve better than som…
/r/seduction30/11/13 07:59 AM
3

I do the same thing. Could be a fear of getting intimate. Regardless, I was worried after my relationship ended 3 years ago, I wouldn't ever feel that way about a girl again. I hooked up with many and did the single thing for a while, just having fun no strings attached. Finally I met a girl who i finally felt something for againand we dated seriously. Things didn't work (actually, pretty recently) but it showed me that I CAN feel that way about a girl again. Don't beat yourself up if you're not…
/r/seduction29/11/13 11:14 PM
3

/r/sex might have a better answer. They post like this on there regularly.
/r/seduction29/11/13 05:39 PM
9

It's a weird paradox. To my understanding it means this: you want to make your intentions clear, but you don't want to be desperate. Pretty much, you want to show interest, but put off the vibe that you're willing to walk away at any point, and that you're a catch.
/r/seduction29/11/13 05:56 AM
1

This is something personal that only you can decide. We can rationalize all we want but you'll only feel better when you come to the conclusion. I came from a religious household, and it always vilified sex out of marriage. I thought about why a decade ago. I asked priests, they told me "that's dangerous thinking and questioning". It was at that time I realized there wasn't any reason. No one is getting hurt, and it's a method of control and is ancient thinking. (I should note I am not religious…
/r/seduction28/11/13 10:20 PM
1

You really have to learn how to not give a fuck about things. It's a matter of letting go and realizing you're fine regardless. Example, let's say you go out and are determined to get a girl to have sex with you. You should instead change it, so your goal is to talk to girls but just have as much fun as possible. If sex is involved, awesome, if not, you can do something else fun and there's other nights, no big deal.
/r/seduction27/11/13 03:27 PM
13

This might be better off suited in r/sex, but yeah, the first few times aren't great due to inexperience
/r/seduction26/11/13 02:38 PM
1

For some reason, my body wasn't cooperating. Mentally i was in a sexual mind-state, but I couldn't get a hard-on for the life of me. Thats never happened to me before, and after a while the HB9 got annoyed and started getting cold towards me. Probably a combination of anxiety and drinking. and if it was much later in the night and you were tired, that could be a factor too. I wouldn't sweat it dog, it happens.
/r/seduction25/11/13 11:54 PM
2

You actually don't need to be sexual in conversation as long as you escalate physically.
/r/seduction25/11/13 07:17 AM
5

I disagree with the previous poster. Good call, girl is clearly bat shit crazy, leave her be.
/r/seduction25/11/13 03:36 AM
3

Remember. A girl is more forgiving of coming on too strong than not at all. You need to tone it down some, she probably is reading it as desperate. I would just send another text some other day, maybe try "chatting" a bit?
/r/seduction25/11/13 03:32 AM
1

I did the same with hard times, but honestly I found a lot of their stuff useless when it came to breakups etc
/r/seduction25/11/13 03:31 AM
1

That's funny, I found models useless because I felt like I knew it all from rsd already. I never really got the asshole vibe either from their stuff
/r/seduction25/11/13 03:30 AM
1

You probably feel more at ease around them since you know they are off limits so not attached to an outcome. Women in relationships miss being pursued. So they will flirt all night, getting the validation that they are still desirable to other men. I find that married women loooooove to flirt with me, but if you play your cards right, I've had them say this to me on multiple occasions "you are really cute and awesome but I'm taken, let me introduce you to one of my single friends."
/r/seduction24/11/13 07:36 PM
3

Which in particular? There's a lot. You may have noticed that they bring up Eckert tolle a lot. A lot of their work is based on the power of now, but in seduction form. I love rsd, but a lot of it is mental masturbation, but interesting stuff nonetheless. Their basic message is to stop worry, shut off your brain, stay in the moment, and don't give a fuck what anyone thinks. I really wish they focused a bit more I relationships at times, as I feel like they'd have a lot of good advice, but it pre…
/r/seduction24/11/13 07:30 PM
1

Wrong. I'm really into this girl, I've been into this girland have been exclusive with her
/r/seduction23/11/13 07:34 AM
2

Yes. Kind of, we're exclusive
/r/seduction23/11/13 07:34 AM
1

Thank you, and the fact is we're still seeing each other.
/r/seduction23/11/13 07:33 AM
1

It's weird, we're exclusively hooking up, and we dated for a few months (official bf/gf etc before we split and got back together). I guess I can just end it,but I still have feelings for this chick
/r/seduction23/11/13 07:32 AM
13

You got in your head. That happens to everyone, I wouldn't sweat it. When you feel it, just acknowledge it, but don't dwell on it. Continue to talk, and just power through. Sometimes just excusing yourself to the bathroom and taking a few deep breaths help. Realize this: literally nothing has changed. It's a constraint your brain puts on you. Think about it, what has changed in the party? You retreated in your head.
/r/seduction22/11/13 03:26 AM
1

She's not interested dude. You can try shooting her an email, but more than likely you'll just wind up on a newsletter list. I'd move on.
/r/seduction21/11/13 10:41 PM
10

No, in fact that's a giant turn off for me. Let me ask you this honestly, so you feel like you are manipulating people? I ask because people with these traits tend to attract each other. Just like emotionally baggaged people tend to attract each other (check out no more mr nice guy) I believe the same goes for manipulating behaviors.
/r/seduction17/11/13 07:54 AM
0

While I completely agree with this, how do you break codependency? I usually wouldn't post a comment like this but I've seenyou give good advice. I've been seeing this girl that is going through a rough patch (she's actually my ex I've dated for a few months, we split about a month we've started hooking up again exclusively). She's got some health issues, job issues, and is just overall unhappy. (I've seen her once in the past few weeks, and I'm the only person she's even seen while she's been s…
/r/seduction16/11/13 08:24 PM
0

You need to work on yourself man. More important than girls. Flakes happen, you can't get all bent out of shape about it. Definitely read the side bar, you sound like you really need to reframe your thinking. The funny thing is when girls notice you don't give a shit, that's when they become attracted. No one wants someone who is desperate and gets angry if they don't get a girl. I would go a month without even worrying about picking up girls and just work on yourself and make yourself happy
/r/seduction16/11/13 07:37 AM
1

Just flirt with them. I guarantee it's not because of what you are, but how you're presenting it. You presenting it confidently like you love it? I don't even tell people what I do, not because I'm embarrassed (software developer) but because I just don't want to talk about work when I'm out having fun. I'll deflect it by saying like "who wants to talk about work?" Or I'll just make some ridiculous story up "bear wrestler." Etc. Lead the convo how you want.
/r/seduction16/11/13 12:48 AM
1

You're making excuses. You're holding off taking action now because you think it's too difficult. College is the easiest time in the world to get laid if you put some effort in. Stop waiting for tomorrow, not to be morbid but you could be dead by tomorrow.
/r/seduction16/11/13 12:21 AM
0

Most of it is pretty basic but solid advice. The only one I have an issue with was the whole a real man will do whatever it takes to make her happy. Your happiness= his reward. There is nothing wrong with making a gf happy, but as someone who often and STILL often puts a girls happiness before my own (working to stop that), that particular advice is bunk and supplicating bullshit. Never base your happiness on your woman's happiness, you'll get burnt and it's not healthy, trust me.
/r/seduction15/11/13 04:04 PM
0

You gotta find your own interests msn. What have you seen and been like "oh hey, that looks kinda neat!" It could be anything from building model cars, painting, football, karate, etc. Find what YOU think is interesting. I can tell you what I enjoy but that won't help you. Look up local art work shops or classes, see one that interests you. Check out local sports leagues and see if you would be ok playing it. And if you hate it, no big deal! Try something else. For years I always wanted to try s…
/r/seduction14/11/13 05:01 PM
0

Thanks for the input. Honestly I'm more talking about girls who do become your girlfriend and you have a relationship with for a while. I find, even when I'm no longer happy in said relationship or feel like it's not working, I have a VERY hard time breaking up. I cling hoping that things will improve, etc. It's rare for me to get attached like that in the first place, but once I do, it's near impossible for me to walk away. I know other girls want to hook up with me, so I don't know my issue.
/r/seduction14/11/13 04:56 PM
1

If you think you're uninteresting, I would not even worry about women right now. Make yourself interesting, or better yet, right down a list of your hobbies. I guarantee you have interesting things about you, you may just not believe them. I've had full blown conversations with girls about shit I thought was interesting that usually they couldn't care less about, but because I was passionate about it, they were sucked in.
/r/seduction13/11/13 05:23 PM
0

Listen. If you're impatient you're just going to kill any sliver of a chance you have to get back together. Seriously. She made a decision, she needs to cool down. She obviously has trust issues with you, doesn't seem like there's not much you can do. If you tried to rationally talk to her already and she's not having any of it then it's beyond your control at the moment. Not what you want to hear I'm sure, but time is your only friend here if you already tried talking. Better yet if you never g…
/r/seduction13/11/13 01:21 AM
0

Like its no big deal. If someone asks you, you're not required to say anything to them. How is it any of their business
/r/seduction13/11/13 01:15 AM
0

There are many other dynamics. I don't drink at all. The thing with hs is your world is so small everyone knows everyone. Drama seems like a big deal, etc. It's not something easy to wrap your head around until you leave hs. Source: went to high school.
/r/seduction12/11/13 12:01 AM
1

I'll try the mediation, although I'm terrible at it (yay ADD) I found the power of now to be useful too. My issue is like breaking off a toxic relationship, one I'm not happy in, etc. Which is weird because I know I am desirable to women and can get with them (hell I had to turn down cute girls trying to make out with me when in this) but I definitely have scarcity mind set when it comes to an emotional connection.
/r/seduction11/11/13 11:30 PM
4

If you're in an exclusive relationship, I don't think you should spin plates. If you want to see other girls, be honest with her and end it. Now that doesn't mean stop talking to girls or everybody for that matter. You can do that still and keep your skills up.
/r/seduction11/11/13 08:45 PM
9

You have two options: Find a girl who is fuck yes about you and forget this one. Put up with her bullshit games. Personally I recommend the first, remember you're the prize. However if you go with the second, what you should do is pull back your pursuit some. If she's not reaching out to you she's not all that interested.
/r/seduction11/11/13 08:43 PM
4

My biggest issue with game is letting go when emotionally attached. I don't get emotionally attached to a girl often and have ended countless things with other girls I was just casually hooking up with, but when I care/date/love a girl I have a very hard time letting go, regardless if I'm happy or not with them. How do I improve this and put my happiness first?
/r/seduction11/11/13 07:54 PM
1

Good point on the shit testing never ends. ...although in all honestylooking back I think a lot of them actually WERE a little crazy and unstable
/r/seduction11/11/13 06:51 AM
1

No, but this often happens with girls I am sleeping with or actually dating as well.
/r/seduction11/11/13 04:29 AM
1

What about when it is boring trivial shit you don't care about, but it is really important to her? I've dated girls who worry about every little thing or go through moods of complaining about everything and text/talk about their issues all the time (huge victim mentalities). Obviously these issues are important to them, but it's hard to switch them to have a more positive mindset. How do you handle that?
/r/seduction11/11/13 03:39 AM
2

Agreed. I'll usually say something like "let's go back to my place and hangout more". No bs excuse, they know exactly why, and fun times happen.
/r/seduction10/11/13 04:51 PM
1

Been doing this for years now. 100 percent alone. I feel awkward with a wingman. I'll go out with friends, but I'll usually go open a group by myself
/r/seduction09/11/13 08:02 PM
1

Let me ask you a question: I doubt she's going to move out anytime soon. Do you want to be in a relationship with a girl who is living with a guy she fucks?
/r/seduction08/11/13 08:48 PM
2

This is playing with fire but I've done it countless times. You don't ask them, you subtly flirt and escalate like you would any other girl. If they flirt back, you escalate, if they respond negatively, you scale back. The problem is emotions often come into play whether you like it or not, and not always on your part. Feelings of friendship get confused, etc. You have the same circle of friends, so if anything goes sour, it's not as easy as cutting them out of your life like anyone else. On the…
/r/seduction06/11/13 04:58 PM
2

Ok, you obviously know the skills. Let me ask you this, what's so terrible about being confident, escalating, etc. If you're putting on a persona then I can get where you're feeling not in line with your beliefs, but if you're just an amplified version of you, then it's all good. You feel guilty the fact that you looked up advice? Open up any women's magazine, look at the COUNTLESS advice columns "how to make a guy into you", "sexy ways to make him want you." Women read this type of shit ALL THE…
/r/seduction25/10/13 03:09 PM
3

Yeah he explained it above, which is cool.
/r/seduction24/10/13 06:13 PM
7

You are way over analyzing this. Chances are, you're just getting nervous. Guess what kills a sex drive? Nerves. Same shit happens to me time to time, I get to the club, convince myself I'm not interested in them. You need to view making out/sex as no big deal. It's just a thing that happens to solidify a moment between two people. If you're home all day thinking about sex, I guarantee you by the time you get out you have it so built up in your head. Finally "it sounds gay when I write this" com…
/r/seduction24/10/13 03:43 PM
8

20 is a fine age to start. It's not like you need all of these things to get a girl, like you need to study it. What it comes down to is: Taking shots in life Feeling good about yourself (and this is an ongoing process) Basic skills with women: escalate. Realize that they aren't better than you. Don't place them on a pedestal. It's not something you need to hunker down with, like "ok I can't work on building my confidence because I'm trying to get an education." On going process, you SHOULD have…
/r/seduction24/10/13 05:04 AM
1

seriously, try reading the power of now. It's a little new age-y which isn't my thing AT ALL, but there are good techniques in there on how to shut off your mind. Ignore the new age crap, but it's definitely valuable.
/r/seduction24/10/13 02:12 AM
1

I love it. Mostly because if any girl comes up to me and says something about a lulu rating, I can instantly screen her as being a moron. NEXT!
/r/seduction23/10/13 06:48 AM
5

Look, we all seek approval at some point. Even the gurus do. It's part of being human. Now to rise above it is a good goal. Rome wasn't built in a day, give yourself time, realize you are the prize and that you hold yourself to nobody's standards but your own.when you catch yourself needing approval ask yourself why.
/r/seduction23/10/13 02:52 AM
1

The past is the past. Now if she was cheating on someone that's a red flag, but just sexual? If it bothers you girls had sex with people before you, then you have the Madonna/whore complex and need to get over it. You hook up with others before hand? Same thing. Don't ask don't tell, what's past is past.
/r/seduction23/10/13 02:49 AM
1

Thanks for the advice. Things got crazy over the past few days. I've seen her since, I pursued other girls in front of her at said bars, and I actually wound up hooking up with her again, and she texts me a lot now. But I dunno if she's still seeing other people or not. I'm trying not get too emotionally invested, although I might be playing with fire.
/r/seduction22/10/13 06:16 PM
1

I don't drink, at all. Every approach, flirtation is stone cold sober. I never really drank anywayfor personal reasons, but going out never had a problem not drinking. I meet plenty of girls, and it feels good to not do it with a confidence crutch. Is it tough sometimes? Yeah, but you push through that shit.
/r/seduction22/10/13 01:13 AM
1

The point is missed in this. It's confidence that gets girls. Assholes have tons of confidence, draw boundaries, don't supplicate, and don't generally give a fuck what other people think. These are the qualities that most asshole have that women find irresistible. But many non assholes have them too, which women also find irresistible. People keep getting caught up on the asshole factor. It's these traits that most assholes have that women find attractive. It's not a black and white situation, y…
/r/seduction21/10/13 01:05 AM
1

In these situations it's not a bad idea to break off from the group for a bit and cultivate some independence, do some approaches of your own.
/r/seduction21/10/13 12:58 AM
3

Everyone slips up, you can't dwell on it. Last night I had girls eying me, dancing next to me, pretty much begging me to open them. I was so out of state last night, I didn't open a single one. The week before the first girl I opened I was making out with. I can be depressed about the fact I didn't make a move, or I could shrug it off, chalk it up to an off night, and not worry about it, there will be other chances. Even the pros slip up. You're not going to take right action every time, even th…
/r/seduction20/10/13 11:22 PM
6

You need more context. Was it a shot directed at you? If it was some stupid shit I find agreeing and amplifying works well even with dudes (one girl I was hitting on, her orbiter friend said something like "hey I think this dude is gay!" To which I replied "so gay, wanna make out with me? " It shut him up really fast. Know when to stand up for yourself, and know when to take it lightly. If you show you aren't reacting to his bullshit, that's attractive. But if he gets physical with you or says s…
/r/seduction20/10/13 07:59 PM
1

Yeah it's been tough. Like I've been with other girls since the break up, and even though I know there is abundance I haven't really been feeling it (I guess this is a case of what they would call oneitis, although I'm not sure if it's the same is it's someone you've been with before). I'm just so torn because on one hand, I do want to get back together but on the other, I have more respect than that and don't want to at all. Confusing indeed.
/r/seduction20/10/13 05:42 PM
1

Yeah, in this situation I can't really cut all contact because of just the frequency I see her, lot of overlapping social circle, etc. And I don't care enough to abandon all our mutual friends or stop going to the places I love because of it
/r/seduction20/10/13 04:56 PM
1

Thanks for the advice. I do have a hard time walking away and cutting poison out of my life. As far as my specific situation, my ex broke up w me like a month ago and then ran to another guy she used to hook up w immediately (day after). For me to hook up w her again, I just feel kinda like a chode, accepting the lesser relationship (when I obviously still have feelings for her, and she's confused what she feels). I feel like I should mentally be like "no, fuck her, I deserve better than that"
/r/seduction20/10/13 04:29 PM
2

The issue is, on a logical level everyone knows they need to develop inner game and core confidence, and to not be needy, etc. However there aren't really any guides on how to do that, maybe it's not something that can be taught? It seems like every problem here someone replies "you need to work on inner game!"then pats themselves on the back for helping out, without actually helping anything. Actionable items, such as "when you feel scared, approach anyway, you'll feel better about yourself and…
/r/seduction17/10/13 02:02 PM
2

I do need to not care what she thinks. It's tough because I'm still a bit hung up (obviously). I'm trying to get past that, I know I'll probably wind up seeing her later this week, I'll try to proceed and disregard her and continue with other women.
/r/seduction15/10/13 04:58 AM
0

You have two choices. You can proceed anyway... or you can go open a girl who is more receptive. Why waste your time with girls who are disinterested and you feel like you need to "win"them?
/r/seduction14/10/13 05:53 PM
2

I don't think this has so much to do with the wave as much as you just having a good time and not caring what others think.
/r/seduction14/10/13 05:51 PM
2

I agree we with you, but there's definitely a building up period after you get your heart broken. I got into this a few years back because of that reason, and got to an intermediate spot. Then I recently had my heart broken again, and am trying to get back into it. It's tough, because it feels like I've fallen so much since, but like the old proverb says: fall down three times, get up four. I only hope this pushes me even further along.
/r/seduction12/10/13 08:10 AM
3

I was essentially left by my ex (blindsided, someone I loved) for her ex. Currently getting over the breakup, but It takes a massive blow to your confidence to be ditched for someone else. How do I get my confidence back, and when I run into her (which happens a lot) how do I not give a fuck and not try to seek a reaction from her, either jealousy or any other.
/r/seduction11/10/13 08:14 PM
1

Do you honestly want to deal with all that bullshit? Personally I'd get annoyed, I'm not chasing her, nothing special about her.
/r/seduction11/10/13 06:54 PM
2

In a similar situation with coming out of a relationship, first off some tips: Do not associate your self worth with how many lays you get. It seems like you're looking for validation. Be your own party, realize yeah a girl will be fun but you j don't need to have sex. If you are desperate girls can smell that from a mile away. How many girls are you actually approaching? Be honest, I went through phases where I was like "no girl is responding". Yeah, because I didn't do anything for them to res…
/r/seduction11/10/13 01:09 PM
1

Also the fact that you thought they were a sure thing likely means you are at least at an intermediate level. OP is a beginner. Good point, i didn't think of that. Yeah I'm definitely intermediate at this point (been part of this community back when there were 15k subscribers almost 3 years ago). WISH I was advanced, but I'm working towards that. Well, trying to get back to intermediate level again (was in relationship, broke up, confidence struggling). It's all a journey.
/r/seduction10/10/13 05:42 PM
2

Fuck. This applies to so much of life, including my breakup and the fact the girl ran to someone else immediately. It's tough letting goand not letting it hurt my confidence and ego, but this shit is really beyond my control. You should really make a separate post about this.
/r/seduction10/10/13 05:29 PM
1

You don't need to work on picking up girls to get better. Focus on yourself: eat healthy, work out, do things you've wanted to do. When you meet goals you create, you'll feel better about yourself. Also. Make a point to talk to everyone. You don't need to flirt and escalate (you do have a gf) but if you want to improve socially there is no reason you can't. You'll find most people start this journey to meet women, but then the gears switch and it becomes about bettering yourself.
/r/seduction10/10/13 05:25 PM
10

I sort of disagree. You're implying that he should be having sex for the sake of having sex. If he isn't excited about it, then he shouldn't bother. I've passed on many girls that would have been a sure thing because I wasn't excited about it with them. Quality, not quantity.
/r/seduction10/10/13 05:20 PM
1

I'm in the same boat as far as the same friend group goes. Everyone here will just tell you "oh get new friends" as if it's that easy to just ditch people you care about. I wish I could give your more advice, but it's tricky (struggling with it too). The best I can say is don't gossip about it, and don't expect your friends to take sides.
/r/seduction10/10/13 05:15 PM
1

I'd cut that "acquaintance" out. he knew you two were dating, why the FUCK would he show you pictures of that? Have some self respect, and cut the dipshit out. As far as your best friend goes, I'd mention something to him about it.
/r/seduction10/10/13 04:18 PM
1

Why would this dude tell you about this? A friend? If so drop him as a friend. You don't do that.
/r/seduction10/10/13 07:38 AM
1

Dude that is nothing. Self limiting belief. It's how you feel about it is what shines through. If it bothers you and makes you insecure, then yes. It'll turn women off. If you don't give a fuck, then women won't either. Source: way worse scars than that
/r/seduction10/10/13 02:42 AM
1

That sucks man. Super annoying, but it's better you find out sooner than later. You don't want a woman like that anyway.
/r/seduction10/10/13 02:08 AM
2

Dude, no trust me I know how far a little internet post can go during times like this.
/r/seduction09/10/13 10:03 PM
1

Hey man, thanks for the advice. I've definitely been trying to do that... keep busy, stay healthy, meet new people (well, I need to start doing this one again.) It's all ups and downs, past few weeks have been a down but I am actually on my way upwards and I KNOW once all is said and done, I'll be even higher up than I was before. Thanks for the kind words, definitely could use them brother.
/r/seduction09/10/13 09:12 PM
1

dress more outrageous. more necklaces, more accessories. get a new tattoo. I actually disagree with this. If you wanna dress outrageous, do it. But do it for YOU. because you like it. I tend to stick out like a sore thumb when I go to nicer bars, because I have a bit of an edgier style, but put me in a hipster dive bar, and I fit in. I'm not changing the way I dress to get women, and neither should you. If you want to dress nice, by all means, GO FOR IT (I do it sometimes) but do it for you. Oth…
/r/seduction09/10/13 08:25 PM
2

The simple fact is, chicks with tats will often not even look at you, if you don't have any ink (even if you're quite badass), and it'll give you intrigue points with regular chicks. Wrong, every girlfriend I've had have had tattoos, and I don't have any at all. I've made out/hooked up/etc plenty of women with ink, and didn't have any myself. This is a self-limiting belief (oh they won't like me because I don't have a tat). It's incorrect too. Get a tat.... but do it for YOU.
/r/seduction09/10/13 08:24 PM
1

I actually am having a hard time going back to ground zero, which he says not to fear. Any other tips for returning back to where you started?
/r/seduction09/10/13 06:52 PM
12

This is easier said than done. I don't think it's worth cutting out all my old friends because they are friends with my ex too, the people I care about. I don't believe one should change their hobbies/friends/etc in fear of running into an ex. Sure, meet new people to enrich yourself but not to avoid
/r/seduction09/10/13 04:53 PM
5

Infuriating, and not at the and time. Think about it: it's kind of sad. These girls run from guy to guy going to get that validation and fill that void, but they never really get it from themselves.
/r/seduction09/10/13 04:51 PM
2

Nothing wrong with morals dude. I find guys who feel the need to bang women in relationships (especially married women) live in extreme scarcity or need that added validation (I got this girl to cheat!)
/r/seduction09/10/13 04:49 PM
1

Unfortunately due to the same mutual friends I see her semi regularly because we go to the same parties, in the same activities, etc.
/r/seduction09/10/13 12:45 PM
8

She broke up with me and immediately was sexually active with another guy. I try not to think about it I'll be sexually active with other girls I have no control over the situation. I can get depressed, upset, angry (and I have...) but it's not going to change anything about the fact. She doesn't want to be with me, and she made a choice. I can get all butthurt (and again, I am upset admit it) or I can not care what she does, because she's so little now in my life. Don't give her any more power …
/r/seduction09/10/13 05:18 AM
15

Thanks man, I know this is the case, because you become more choosy. After my first LTR ended 2-3 years ago (which I was in for 6 years...) I was devastated after the breakup, and didn't have the slightest idea how to get women. I taught myself through seddit and hooked up with many girls. Many wanted to date me, but I didn't feel that spark with any of them. Then my most recent ex, who I was with for 5 months, she was the first one i loved since my last LTR, but she ended it out of the blue, an…
/r/seduction09/10/13 03:36 AM
7

no problem. it's a shitty time (obviously, i'm going through it too) but remember, we'll meet someone just as hot, just as compatible, and even more awesome. Chin up!
/r/seduction09/10/13 03:17 AM
1

Thank you for this.
/r/seduction09/10/13 01:24 AM
3

This video pretty much nails it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1LQs7NbTOs&list=UUTF6CEoSHHGTuJwk_zppupw&index=2&feature=plcp It's a bit long, but worth watching the entire thing if you have time. I'm at a new low point right now (ex broke up with me, ran back to her ex) and it feels like the whole demographic of women I'd be interested in walked right out with her. I can't stop thinking about her, etc. Why? Sure, I miss her... but it's the rejection. it's the having the validation, having som…
/r/seduction09/10/13 12:17 AM
3

It depends on the specific people. You get a girl with low confidence who is shy or has social anxiety, she'll be more nervous. Same vice versa.
/r/seduction06/10/13 06:05 AM
4

You could literally say anything. I once opened a girl by saying "pass the pepper" at a pizza shop. She was topless in my bed about an hour later. What you say doesn't matter, what matters is how confident you are when you say it, and where you take it from there, and escalating physically.
/r/seduction04/10/13 10:27 PM
5

A little mess is ok. But yes, don't be a fucking pig. (don't want guys not going out because they didn't clean their bathroom or their room). Be neat, not a slob, and you'll be alright.
/r/seduction04/10/13 10:25 PM
2

Best problem ever. A simple thank you works (you can just take the compliment), I've in the past have joked about compliments before like a girl once told me that I had beautiful eyes, I responded "thank you, I made them myself". But I didn't do it to get a reaction, I just thought it would be funny. Do whatever you feel good with. But don't mumble and thank them, if you thank them do it confidently.
/r/seduction03/10/13 03:52 AM
1

I have the same issue. It's not a bad thing to be picky, but keep in mind you might be doing this as a defense mechanism. If you're not into them, then you give an excuse not to pursue. You aren't even giving these girls a chance. Ask yourself what do you really want? My guess is you come from a background where in the past you fell in love with any girl that showed interest. Now you're doing the opposite extreme.
/r/seduction01/10/13 08:26 PM
1

You have the need to be wanted, hence your 'knight in shining armor' mentality. You get fulfilment from 'fixing' girls. You probably build intense relationships at a very quick pace, but it dissipates just as quickly and you move on. Because your fulfilment comes from 'fixing' these girls, you perpetually find broken girls. Exactly this. This describes my life and my attraction to a T, although I don't like to admit it. Realizing that you fall into this pattern is the first step though, the next…
/r/seduction01/10/13 07:34 PM
1

I have the same issue. Normal girls bore me, I always date the drama queens, etc. It's my own flaw and a reflection of myself. Robert glovers no more mr nice guy tackles this issue, about being codependent. I highly recommend checking it out
/r/seduction01/10/13 06:48 PM
2

This was a while ago (years). We never really connected romantically but I had fun, and to this day she is one of my good friends. I actually eventually set her up with one of my friends.
/r/seduction01/10/13 06:45 PM
2

you're going to experience ups and downs just like anything else in life. Sometimes it'll seem like you're on fire, sometimes you'll slump. I just got out of a breakup, so I'm slumping a bit right now. It happens. What you do is you re-affirm your values, remember YOU are the prize, and take right action anyway. Start off small again. I am doing the same right now. Practice eye contact, start approaching. It'll be tough at first but you'll get there. You already have the skillset, so you're leap…
/r/seduction01/10/13 04:56 AM
6

Honestly, by going on more dates. Exposure therapy. You need to go anyway even though you're nervous. My first date after a long term relationship, I was terrified, I didn't even fucking sleep the night before is how anxious I was. Reframe it, these dates are giving these girls the chance to impress YOU. To see if they fit in YOUR life. It seems like you are worried that you need to perform for them, and that you need to impress them. YOU ARE THE PRIZE. Don't forget that.
/r/seduction01/10/13 12:10 AM
1

Thanks, didn't see that. But I also was wondering about books that weren't so much on direct seduction as much as getting over ex's, why we attach to toxic relationships, etc. Kind of more along the lines of no more mr nice guy, that touches on a lot of the inner game issues.
/r/seduction01/10/13 12:08 AM
1

Actually, I already have been a bit. It's been tough, but I had some rebounding (make out sessions, wasn't really ready for sex to be honest...) but it just seems so empty right now
/r/seduction30/09/13 07:15 PM
1

She broke up with you FOR SOMEONE ELSE ? You don't do that shit. You just don't. That shows how immature she is. Exact thing my old ex did too. But in this recent case she said it was depression, and then I learned she's been hanging out with her ex A LOT. Maybe they're just friends, but I can't help but be suspicious at how SOON they started to hang out after the breakup. Like... next day we're talking. So yeah, either way, red flag. And it'll make it that much easier getting over her if it's t…
/r/seduction24/09/13 09:46 PM
2

holy fuck thank you. like... i can't express it enough.
/r/seduction24/09/13 09:24 PM
1

Remember, if you think going asking her will work, you are mistaken. You will only lose respect in her eyes. Oh, no you're totally right... but I am waaaay too prideful to go crawling back to someone, especially if they chose someone else, which is what I'm thinking. Again not sure, but suspicions are high. I did PM her in the first week we broke up just to see how she was (she said she broke up with me because she was depressed and couldn't do a relationship) and try to keep communication open.…
/r/seduction24/09/13 09:23 PM
1

It's funny, I went out like 3 days after I became newly single, and I had a few different girls come up to me and try to make a move (they know me through mutual friends, and I guess just wanted some quick makeouts). Problem was, I either wasn't very attracted or I was too busy comparing them to my ex, and was no where near ready for that.
/r/seduction24/09/13 09:15 PM
1

You're right. I'm trying to keep my head on straight. It stings to know she's out having fun while I'm all depressed, but hey, whatever.
/r/seduction24/09/13 09:14 PM
1

Thanks for the advice, yeah I've been through this before with another ex (that one was like over 5 years, fucking hurt man). This time around it still stings, and it's been a week. It was only last night I found out about the whole probably hooking up with the ex thing. Except now with more anger and less sadness. I've been an anxious mess, but i know there's nothing I can do. It sucks ass. But I did PM her in the original week, nothing begging or embarassing, just a simple "hey, hope you're do…
/r/seduction24/09/13 09:13 PM
2

Yeah, you're right. I do need to give myself time. It just hurts me even more to know I'm having to heal while she's out having fun, and that I'm upset while this apparently meant nothing to her at all.
/r/seduction24/09/13 04:46 AM
1

It was not me being a douche, she said she broke up with me because she was depressed. I realize now it was to go back to her ex. I see what you're saying that it's not personal... but it feels INCREDIBLY personal in every way possible. Regardless, how do I get that abundance back? I do not feel very good about an abundance mentality right now...
/r/seduction24/09/13 04:30 AM
1

I think you're missing my point. The point is: I want the self-confidence and esteem I had before getting broken up with. I thought I had that developed, however getting broken up with, my self confidence has been shot to shit. I'm not saying "hey how do I mack it with a bunch of girls" i already have the skills for that. I however lost the willpower to do so, and my self-esteem is at a low. Seddit is a place to improve yourself, and this is something I want to improve. Perhaps a better phrased …
/r/seduction22/09/13 05:58 AM
0

Yeah you make a good point. I guess it's only been like 5 days, but I feel like my confidence needs a boost. Sorry you're going through the same shit. It's awful.
/r/seduction20/09/13 07:07 PM
1

I'm not... that's the issue. I've been so depressed lately, but I want to get back up on the horse and go instead of just grieving my ex leaving. I want to get back to my self, restore my confidence, and have fun again.
/r/seduction20/09/13 07:05 PM
1

Yeah dude like I said, i been there. Just remember this: never be someones plan b. You're better than that.she's keeping you on the ropes and leading you on. Remember, you're the prize.
/r/seduction12/09/13 07:54 PM
10

Congratulations! You're in the "i want the cuddle and validation a bf would give me, but I don't actually want to hook up with you!" mode. It's a shitty place to be, I was there for a good year before I dropped it like a bad habit. It goes like this. The girl WANTS the validation and the comfort. You need to try and make a move here. If it doesn't work... FREEZE OUT. Stop cuddling with her, kissing her neck, etc. if she doesn't jump you in a bit, she's just not that into you. Sorry to be this bl…
/r/seduction12/09/13 03:48 PM
4

HAVE FUN. People forget this and get so caught up in all the terms, technical stuff, etc.
/r/seduction10/09/13 03:24 AM
1

Its known stress amplifies acne. There can be link there. Now, two things working against you. You need to learn to calibrate. Don't paint Yourself as the asshole guy, or whatever. Its not black and white. You can be a cool dude with a cocky humor. My guess is you're over doing it and it's forced
/r/seduction06/09/13 05:15 AM
1

It needs to be in the right context. In Flirty contexts, it symbolizes sex and being turned on, so yes, i find it sexy
/r/seduction06/09/13 05:06 AM
1

Thank you, I'd really appreciate it if you posted.
/r/seduction06/09/13 05:00 AM
1

I'll definitely check that out. thank you.
/r/seduction05/09/13 10:58 PM
2

Address your girlfriend's anxiety issues but do not feed into it (ie. don't validate it). How can you do this tactfully? For example, I don't want to validate it, but I also realize that I need to be empathetic (which I am). It's tough to be empathetic without validating somewhat.
/r/seduction05/09/13 10:58 PM
1

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS, PEOPLE'S ELBOW! but no. Really, don't do that. Usually I'll try to introduce them to someone, anyone, so i can get her name again. I once actually hooked up with a girl (who lived alone, this is crucial) and got her name from a prescription in the bathroom. or you could, you know... Ask.
/r/seduction05/09/13 08:55 PM
1

While I do agree with you, once you progress the relationship forward, most girls, if not all (shit most people) will at some point go through a low negative point. I think you're advice is spot on in the beginning, but once it progresses a while, a girl is definitely looking for some empathy as well.
/r/seduction04/09/13 03:17 AM
1

Thank you. I'll definitely try that. I can see this working because unlike a lot of other methods, it IS showing empathy, which is incredibly important once you've progressed the relationship and you've been dating for a bit. Obviously early on you want to cut that out of the picture immediately.
/r/seduction04/09/13 03:15 AM
1

Thanks for the advice, it's crazy you mention exercise, I just got back from doing some, and it's amazing the amount of steam I felt the need to blow. I feel much better, not 100%, but still. I work as a programmer and tend to be very logical in general, but it's tough to always make emotionless decisions even with all the practice.
/r/seduction03/09/13 03:27 AM
9

Think of it like an rpg if you're Nerd like myself and it's gaining experience points.
/r/seduction09/08/13 10:45 PM
6

Ok first off you're really young still, and are making mistakes. ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. If you value your dick at all, you'll use protection. If you don't want to pay child support for the rest of your life, you'll use protection. I don't give a shit if she says she's on birth control, carry a condom with you. That's a good starting point. Second, high school is a little rough and reputations stick because it's such a small world. You could try meeting girls other places not in your social circl…
/r/seduction01/06/13 02:00 AM
2

Some hate it Because it remind them of getting yelled at by their parents (multiple girls have scolded me for using their actual first name as opposed to a shortened version.
/r/seduction29/04/13 04:02 AM
8

What?! That's the best situation. You turn to the girl and say 'this is my friend (whatever his name is)' Then she'll introduce herself to your friend and now you have her name again. I'll sometimes introduce people for this sole reason.
/r/seduction29/04/13 03:59 AM
1

While yes, it is a numbers game... by learning some basic game you can greatly increase your odds. Poker analogy again: even newbies to the game will occasionally be dealt Aces (or meet a girl who is just DTF and into them without any game) but if you know what you're doing you can make sure you don't fuck it up, or turn a not as great hand into a better hand (girls who aren't into you from the start, you can easily spark attraction.) So while numbers are helpful... you'll find yourself increasi…
/r/seduction28/04/13 04:27 PM
54

Awesome post, good to see you back and posting. As a poker player, this analogy is spot on. In poker, the term used is variance, and it essentially means that even if you play a hand perfectly... you're going to win maybe 7/10 times. But you're still going to lose 3 times REGARDLESS OF HOW PERFECT YOU PLAYED IT THROUGH NO FAULT OF YOUR OWN. The important thing is that over the long term, if you keep playing it right (or in seduction... keep improving) you will still come out ahead. If you want t…
/r/seduction27/04/13 09:01 PM
1

Hey I know no one is going to see this, but I wanted to give you more background. I did walk away... 3 times. They followed me... 3 times as well. I was then hanging out with my friends and all of a sudden the guy shoves me from behind (again). At that point, I figured it was time to stand up for myself as I tried to diffuse and walk away 3 times. I always avoid fights and never use it as a serious option until mine have run out. He shoves me after I left multiple times, so I casually elbowed hi…
/r/seduction22/04/13 06:31 AM
15

Went to say hi to girl. Apparently they were looking to start trouble, because all of her friends (guys and girls) then spent the rest of the night trying to get me into a fight. it seriously went like this. 'hi', girl steals my hat, guy friend starts shoving me. They continued to do this the rest of the night until i finally elbowed the guy in the ribs when he got too close again.
/r/seduction21/04/13 04:12 PM
1

You're completely right about dwelling in the past. I have a habit of being really hard on myself, and now I learned a lesson that I could NEVER do this because I can't handle the guilt, the shitty feeling, etc. I don't know how people ever cheat in relationships... I can't even handle it when both myself and my friend's ex are single! That being said, I don't think I'm going to mention it to my friend as per the advice of relationships. Since it was a one time thing and nothing will ever develo…
/r/seduction20/04/13 12:22 AM
1

I wound up breaking one of my rules and hooked up with a good friends ex (they were engaged but split it off a few months ago) and have been beating myself up over it.
/r/seduction19/04/13 11:47 PM
11

I'm escalating, I'm looking her in the eye while occasionally glancing at her lips, and I'm also getting closer to her face.
/r/seduction13/04/13 03:31 PM
5

Do it because you want to do it or for the fun of it. If you do it to meet women, you become known as what we call a "dancing monkey". It's a guy who feels that the only way for them to keep a woman's attention is by entertaining them. Don't be that guy. I would do it but for the fun of it or as a lesson in not giving a fuck what people think of you, but I wouldn't do it with the intent to meet women.
/r/seduction11/04/13 05:11 AM
4

Oh i read it wrong... you're saying the smile says that. My bad. UPVOTES ALL AROUND!
/r/seduction08/04/13 06:07 PM
1

We scare ourselves sometimes?
/r/seduction08/04/13 04:31 PM
4

By saying 'she's with me now and I'm pleasing her far more....' You are falling right into his trap and trying to prove yourself to him. just disregarding him completely would be better.
/r/seduction08/04/13 04:29 PM
11

It's a cultural thing. I lived in the deep south for a few years and the North as well which I'm from. up here we have a very rushed society, and it's more of a privacy respect (i mind my business, you mind yours). Many of us here are taught if someone is talking to you randomly, they want something and you should be distrustful. In the south they have a much more laid back attitude as far as being rushed. It's a slower pace of life and a bit more societal. Instead of being distrustful off the b…
/r/seduction06/04/13 03:41 PM
2

Approaches.
/r/seduction01/04/13 10:23 PM
10

Be honest with yourself, about how many girls do you talk to a week? Seriously? My most recent failures has been striking out with 4 girls I've liked in a row. It sounds like you're getting too invested with these girls before really getting to know them. It also sounds like you are incredibly attached to the outcome, you're looking at the fact the girls rejected it as your failures as opposed to YOU MAKING A MOVE BEING A SUCCESS. Girls can smell when a guy is outcome dependent from a mile away,…
/r/seduction01/04/13 04:51 AM
1

Self limiting belief. So you're skinny... Me too. In a nation and time of obesity, embrace it. I never had an issue because i was skinny (One girl told me she didn't hook up with skinny guys.... She was on my bed shortly after), it's all how you carry yourself
/r/seduction31/03/13 05:46 AM
1

She's letting some other guy dictate her relationship. Do you not see the giant red flag? I'm not against her waiting, that's her decision. However this is Michaels decision... Honestly I'd ditch her and move on. This will not end well for you
/r/seduction31/03/13 05:41 AM
6

Sounds like he's depressed man.
/r/seduction31/03/13 05:13 AM
2

Wow some of these responses are terrible. Just act like its not a big deal (because its not, you do this all the time) and isolate or just continue talking/flirting while escalating. No biggie, just act natural and not awkward, because she's just following your lead
/r/seduction29/03/13 04:31 AM
1

You ask them about it. You open up about your own dreams and passions, then they'll usually open up as well.
/r/seduction26/03/13 05:38 AM
1

You seem like you're trolling now.
/r/seduction26/03/13 01:56 AM
2

Alpha as fuck.
/r/seduction22/03/13 10:17 PM
1

Yes. I don't drink at all
/r/seduction22/03/13 07:18 PM
21

Exactly, this girl was into you regardless, and you tried to do everything you could to blow it, but she stuck around. 99 percent of girls wouldn't have put up with that. Happy for you guys though and it seemed to work out for the best. Or actually, i want to see a bunch of newbs try the 'pee on the girl' routine now.
/r/seduction22/03/13 07:17 PM
1

What? I can't hear you from down there.
/r/seduction20/03/13 11:36 PM
2

I was in a similar situation. It only helped me with girls i was already hooking up with... since I couldn't support my weight, they were like 'aw it's ok, I'll go on top". Fuck yeah.
/r/seduction20/03/13 04:36 AM
3

/r/askseddit is a more appropriate place for this in the future. Take a look at the sidebar... You don't want to ever tell a girl you like them, it puts them on the spot. I've been in your shoes back when I was 19 as well (I'm 27 now). You want to show them by escalating. It sounds like you have typical "nice guy syndrome" which probably means you aren't being forward enough. Take a look at the sidebar for some more info on it. Here's a good starting point about showing vs telling.
/r/seduction20/03/13 04:34 AM
2

Ok to answer some of your questions: And would you say kino is your ace in a deck of cards for being a PUA? I don't consider myself, nor want to ever consider myself a PUA. I'm just a normal dude, I am not a pro at this at all although I know all the theory (I get AA and sometimes that holds me back, while I do OK, I feel like I have not hit my true potential yet). I want to be a cool guy who can get with girls easily... Not essentially label myself as a PUA. However, yes escalating is one of my…
/r/seduction20/03/13 04:12 AM
1

I'd probably treat it asany other shit test and agree and amplify: oh you knew i was a dork, thank god now we can talk Pokemon the rest of the night. If she actually starts talking Pokemon you got a keeper.
/r/seduction20/03/13 12:57 AM
2

Take this advice. While i had a gf through out college and have no regrets, i did miss out on the 'fun sex crazy' period most have in college. It's also a lot easier in college than after, so trust me, no reason to be down about not having a gf.
/r/seduction18/03/13 04:03 PM
2

You can't buy confidence in a jar, but some people try anyway, by buying the brand name clothes/the fancy car/etc and using their possessions as an extension of themselves
/r/seduction16/03/13 03:31 PM
1

Don't feed the trolls. He obviously didn't even read it, as i.was being myself the entire time, there's no routines/etc.
/r/seduction14/03/13 09:53 PM
3

I'd even modify that last statement to most people don't have anyone to believe in them, not even themselves.
/r/seduction13/03/13 08:54 PM
2

You have the wrong mindset. You're not 'luring' anyone, or trying to bait girls. That makes it seem like you're tricking them into being attracted to you, when what you want to do is create attraction. Take a look at the sidebar, and if you have questions after, check out askseddit
/r/seduction13/03/13 08:52 PM
2

If a girl says 'hold this' she's obviously comfortable with you I've had girls say this within 2 minutes of meeting them.
/r/seduction13/03/13 06:29 PM
2

I do this to everyone not just women, but if they EXPECT me to hold it (demands like 'hold this') then I'll often say no or be like 'try again, this time with a please' Sometimes the person demands it again and I'll just laugh and tell them no to which they get angry, if they say please then I'll hold it. If a girl legit needs help with something, maybe tease lightly, but don't overthink it. Tl;dr: motherfuckin manners
/r/seduction13/03/13 01:08 AM
1

Same issue. I try to make it work for me by telling them to warm them up. Instant escalation, although sucks during sexy time when they tell you'your hands are fucking freezing' I usually try to then tell them i was born without a soul. Chicks love dark and mysterious...
/r/seduction09/03/13 07:52 PM
12

What these frs aren't telling you are the amounts of rejection they faced previously. Yes its this easy, but you need the balls to do it and take rejection.people aren't writing 'went out today, not much happened'so you only hear about when they hook up.
/r/seduction07/03/13 12:40 AM
3

Honestly if I'm into them at all I'll continue to flirt and try to set up Friends with benefits type thing. if not, i just treat them as a friend
/r/seduction07/03/13 12:37 AM
1

Not worth your time.
/r/seduction04/03/13 07:17 AM
1

Personally i try not to go after girls with boyfriends. Say what you want about it (Bullshit morals, not my problem if they have a bf,etc) but i just wouldn't feel good about myself afterwards and there are enough single girls out there than for me to homewreck it up.
/r/seduction04/03/13 07:14 AM
1

You know, you might actually be on to something. Of course, I have no idea how to even set that up and that just seems so far from my reality, I can't even comprehend it being an option for me. I realize i need to change that attitude. It's funny because I've blown 2 threesome opportunities with this... ah well, hindsight's a bitch.
/r/seduction02/03/13 12:22 AM
1

Its tough, even if i don't invite them out, they'll find out through mutual friends. My option is to either go solo and not hang out with friend, out hang with them. I do see your point, but on the other hand i feel like there's these unfair expectations set up.
/r/seduction01/03/13 08:24 PM
0

I understand what you're saying, but we're out in big groups, and the the thing is it's not like I want to move anything further, and these girls do. I don't think I should be restricted forever because I've hooked up with a girl in the past and she happens to be around. I'm fine if we were like F-buddies, but that's about it.
/r/seduction01/03/13 06:28 PM
2

1: Do your think and don't feel bad about it. 2: DON'T go out with the girls you are hooking up you silly nycprowl. I'm trying to become more like #1, but it's tough. I just have to remind myself I owe them nothing, and they are placing expectations on me that I never agreed to. As far as not going out with them, it's tough since they are friends of friends as well. I'd have to pretty much cut off a pretty big part of my social life for that to work. Also, they're fun to be around, so if it wasn…
/r/seduction01/03/13 06:21 PM
171

You'll find mixed results. I know many girls who don't want a phone call and wouldn't pick up when the guy was calling even if they were interested and would prefer text. Just like everything in this shit, your mileage may vary.
/r/seduction01/03/13 05:21 PM
1

What if they are suffering from victim mentality and self esteem issues
/r/seduction27/02/13 11:41 PM
6

You don't have to explain shit. I would have turned it on her 'why, do YOU want her number? if you want to arrange a3some just let me know.'
/r/seduction27/02/13 11:34 PM
2

Like others said, go see a speech therapist if it bothers you but stay confident in it. A simple 'meh i was born with a speech impedement'and shrug it off about the retainer. I know a guy who has one, he's confident with it and no one gives a shit. Alternatively, chew gum to help keep your mouth moist might help as well.
/r/seduction27/02/13 10:05 PM
29

Personally, this sounds like a terrible and hilarious idea
/r/seduction25/02/13 06:34 PM
2

Yeah, people are weird here... I see a fight break out at least once a night, and this isn't the first time things like this happened. Sometimes people just suck, and some people suck even more so when you add alcohol. Whatever.
/r/seduction25/02/13 06:33 AM
3

I didn't downvote you, and I appreciate the well meaning advice, but I'm comfortable in my style.
/r/seduction25/02/13 06:30 AM
2

Yeah you're probably right. assholes will be assholes. it just takes the fun out of it, especially when trying to overcome aa as it is.
/r/seduction24/02/13 08:50 AM
4

Trust me i wanted to, but i also didn't want my night to be ruined. My area is sort of known for bring a bit douchy, so sadly this isn't the first time something ridiculous happened.
/r/seduction24/02/13 08:48 AM
3

Yeah, I am probably blowing myself out. That is what I usually do. Story of my life man. I hate that I am literally my own worst enemy in about 90% of cases. But my core philosophy in this game is to raise my standards higher than ever. I need to do that. I keep settling, and it's not because women don't want to be with me, I SEE hot women eyeing me... but for some reason in my head I feel like they don't want to be approached by me. Yes, I know inner game issues, but I know all the concepts of …
/r/seduction24/02/13 08:18 AM
2

I'm seeing a woman now, she could make me very happy, but I am considering that I am not the type of guy that can ever make her happy I know you know your situation best, but shouldn't she be the one to decide that? It seems like you're blowing yourself out. Again, I only know so much from one sentence in the comments, but even the pros can sometimes use a reminder of the fundamentals ;)
/r/seduction24/02/13 01:07 AM
1

Same in all of the east coast cities here... Although these girls tend to be a particular type and don't go for my type (more punk/hipster/etc)
/r/seduction19/02/13 06:29 AM
3

I agree up until the drink part. Some of us choose not to drink due to family histories and is recommend those people not drink if you have alcoholism in the family. I'll stick with water (but i do have more fun at bars than most people drunk)
/r/seduction17/02/13 11:16 PM
2

My feedback would be demanding a compliment can come off as as a little needy and validat seeking. Don't expect things in return for your compliments, give them if you generally mean it
/r/seduction14/02/13 11:47 PM
1

Someone is going to call you out for remembering their name? Your response is perfect. it turns it on them for being idiots
/r/seduction14/02/13 08:58 PM
17

Late 20s here. For my entire college and post college life, I was in a relationship with this girl up until 2 years ago when she suddenly broke it off, and I never dated before. I missed out on the precarious college years being committed, however I can tell you I am strides ahead of other people my age as far as relationships go. It's all a trade off. I posted something in dating advice 2 years ago essentially asking how the fuck to date, and was directed here. I'm still trying to cover ground …
/r/seduction13/02/13 02:04 AM
1

Honestly she doesn't seem interested at all. She's not trying to meet up with you, and you're just chasing her. I'm not saying its a done deal, but i think your time is probably better spent somewhere else.
/r/seduction12/02/13 11:44 PM
2

You need to lay off a bit. Set a date up, and that's it. No communicating until date, or keep it light. Stop trying to be part of her daily routine without physical escalation. That's exactly how you friend zone the fuck out of yourself.
/r/seduction12/02/13 11:38 PM
1

An interesting look at how online dating is affecting what we do.
/r/seduction12/02/13 07:55 PM
4

I've been in a similar rut, where I plateaued. The key is to just push yourself out of your comfort zone. Seriously, does something make you uncomfortable and presents no real harm or reason why (like directly opening a girl... I'm still working on that one) then do it.
/r/seduction12/02/13 07:49 PM
4

Too defensive.
/r/seduction11/02/13 08:08 PM
1

Challenge accepted. I'll write a fr tonight. Ugh I've got butterflies in my stomach now just thinking about it.
/r/seduction10/02/13 12:47 AM
2

Good luck man. Be careful and mindful of burnout though
/r/seduction09/02/13 06:04 AM
2

Pretty terribly.
/r/seduction09/02/13 03:11 AM
7

I disagree with you. The guy said he's usually an introvert, and doesn't act like this. He decided to act in a way he usually didn't. I think that's probably outside of his comfortzone. Small steps.
/r/seduction09/02/13 03:00 AM
2

I agree completely and the problem is mixed messages from society. As guys (especially those of us without a father figure) we are taught by society/religion/hollywood that showing sexual interest is bad and creepy, and you should have a complete green light before taking a chance and making a moveor showing interest. so most guys go the safe route of being friends (i once even had my mother when I was a teen tell me that the best way to get with a girl is to be friends with them first, hah!) Me…
/r/seduction08/02/13 06:45 AM
7

Yeah....i missed out on every 3 some opportunity in my life so far due to denseness and limiting beliefs. Sucks after you realize it.
/r/seduction08/02/13 04:20 AM
25

And the loser of said shit test if it was one: her. I don't think it was a shit test per se, but probably looking for different things out of a relationship. She thought kissing was too intimate.
/r/seduction07/02/13 10:48 PM
133

Change the word women to people, and you'd be even more accurate.
/r/seduction04/02/13 03:24 PM
1

Thanks for this, I'll definitely check it out as logistics seem to be one thing i have zero control over.
/r/seduction03/02/13 05:44 PM
1

That's not a bad thing. It's a matter of moderation and when though. The trick to get female friends is to treat them as such. You don't need to be super nice to them or anything, just be a fun guy to be around (just like you would your guy friends) but don't escalate with her so she gets the hint that "hey, I'm just looking to be friends". You got this man. And remember, if it doesn't work with her, there's other girls who really are just looking to be friends. Sometimes girls it doesn't work o…
/r/seduction03/02/13 07:37 AM
13

I treat it like fightclub. I don't talk about it with other people who aren't into it, as I know they won't "get" it and the few times I've tried it's backfired on me. I'm not ashamed that I'm into it as in feel guilty, down on myself, etc. however I don't really let my friends know about it either. There is such a bad stigma with it and people get the wrong idea. I'm here for the inner game stuff mostly, but people hear the word "seduction" and immediately think "OH MY GOD MANIPULATIVE DOUCHE B…
/r/seduction03/02/13 03:59 AM
5

Just to let you know, I'm not the one downvoting you... you legit sound confused about this. I have MANY MANY MANY close female friends. I made many before I even ever learned about pickup techniques. The way you become friends with a girl is the same way you become friends with a guy. Do not escalate, and be friendly with them. Now what it sounds like you are trying to do is manipulate this girl into being friends with you. Don't do that. It seems like you have this idea that since the fact it'…
/r/seduction03/02/13 03:53 AM
5

You asked how do you make a girl a friend. Are you physically escalating with your guy friends? I'm guessing not. Don't escalate with the girls you're trying to be friends with.
/r/seduction03/02/13 03:26 AM
16

You DON'T escalate, and you DON'T game her. You treat her as you would any friend. The fact she's a girl doesn't mean anything
/r/seduction03/02/13 03:20 AM
1

Solid point. I actually tried at one point, I went up the the bar with her, in a crowded place... and lo and behold her friends were RIGHT there doing a shot... Poor luck with that one.
/r/seduction03/02/13 03:14 AM
9

Why do you care? I don't mean that in a mean/accusatory way, but in a honest reflection. Rejection is tough, and it does a number on a lot of people's self esteem. To help herself, she is telling herself that you do indeed like her, maybe it makes her feel wanted/etc. If it's not making things awkward or if she's not weird about it, I'd let it go, especially since you weren't into this girl to begin with. I'm not going to let anybody take that away from me She created her own reality for herself…
/r/seduction02/02/13 08:18 AM
1

I agree, but it's more a confidence thing than anything else at least for me. I should be able to tell her she's cute without getting all nervous
/r/seduction02/02/13 02:59 AM
3

Most normal men don’t escalate on yellow lights because they do not know how to read the signs women put out, which in this case is actually a lack of signs, specifically the lack of signs of negative interest or discomfort. Well shit. I never realized this, but when I think about it, it's something I struggle to do as well. it's tough, because I think in most guy's heads (including mine) is this irrational fear of being labelled or thought of as "creepy". That alone keeps me from making a lot o…
/r/seduction02/02/13 02:40 AM
1

You're totally right. Thanks for the input.
/r/seduction01/02/13 03:16 PM
1

Great analogy. This is definitely something i need to work on, as closing is easily my weakest point
/r/seduction31/01/13 06:35 AM
9

You have to truly be willing to let it go. Stop contacting her or hanging out with her. This is the toughest step. If you really want to get over it though you have to do this. You're going to resist it, thinking "oh maybe this time it'll be different." It won't. Approach other girls. There are so many women out there wanting to meet you, but you're too busy caught up on this one girl who doesn't return the feelings (which is what oneitis is... If a girl returns the feelings, and you're hung up …
/r/seduction29/01/13 05:41 AM
1

Yes, i live in the us and not everyone is obese.
/r/seduction26/01/13 05:09 PM
11

Nah. He's right. I usually upvote but then don't have anything to say, so I'm not gonna comment
/r/seduction26/01/13 03:19 AM
11

Good advice, but you can apply this to ANY activity you are doing, as you already have something in common. I stay away from hitting on girls on the slopes actually because near me, 80 percent of them are in high school.
/r/seduction26/01/13 03:10 AM
9

It could seriously be anything. She could have had a boyfriend, just getting out of a bad breakup, not looking to date or hookup, just found out she has an STD, was nervous about the test, nerves got the best of her... etc. The point is, it doesn't matter.
/r/seduction25/01/13 06:25 PM
1

Take the advice you want, and leave the rest. Example: my big focus is inner game stuff and confidence, and i ignore a lot of the other stuff. Not everything is going to appeal to everyone. I go to a lot of more hipster type clubs, if i took the advice of 'be well groomed, get a nice button down with some Chinos' most girls wouldn't be attracted to that type. i feel like you'd really like David wygant
/r/seduction25/01/13 05:01 PM
3

There are cute girls everywhere you go. There may but be as many just because of population, but it doesn't matter what city you go to, there's gonna be cute girls.
/r/seduction25/01/13 04:55 PM
2

This has easily been the toughest thing for me to internalize. I've been at it for 2 years now, and this still holds me back. So frustrating.
/r/seduction25/01/13 03:25 AM
5

Lot of people don't like him because he doesn't offer quick solutions. You truly need to work on yourself is his message. Take a look through the sidebar, most of seddit's most successful (TofuTofu, etc) cite him as one of the main sources of inspiration. Different strokes for different folks. I like Tyler because he seems more down to earth. Sometimes he comes off as pretentious, but I like how he doesn't take shit as seriously as most PUAs I see.
/r/seduction25/01/13 03:24 AM
2

Wooow i have the opposite problem (girls wanna be my girlfriend, not just hook up)... If course I'm not looking for a relationship
/r/seduction25/01/13 01:33 AM
14

You kissed her, got free shots. That's not really failing hard. I think suggesting her do a round and you'll get the next would have better. Also put yourself in the girls perspective: it was her bday, and she's buying you shots. I'm not saying you were obligated to buy her shots (definitely not), but she probably was offended
/r/seduction23/01/13 07:51 PM
2

You'll know when you reach your tipping point. One time this girl I know did something INCREDIBLY disrespectful, and something one shouldn't do to a friend. I finally had enough, called her out on it in a cool, calm, collected, ye firm way... and have gotten more respect from her than ever.
/r/seduction23/01/13 05:32 PM
2

Guess not for me. Not drinKing sometimes hurts socially (especially in todays hookup culture) but due to bad genes, I'm gonna stay the fuck away from the stuff
/r/seduction23/01/13 02:55 AM
2

Exactly what i was looking for. I'm supposed to go out tonight and i feel resistance, nervousness, and not in state at all. The best thing to do is just acknowledge those feelings?
/r/seduction23/01/13 01:04 AM
2

Always thought it'd be fun, but then i remembered i don't drink
/r/seduction22/01/13 11:20 PM
8

Love the reframe about clubs. As you point it at, the amount of indirect shit I've blown because of hesitating is more painfully clear. Learning experience.
/r/seduction22/01/13 08:56 PM
4

I think this could get a lot of attention if you formatted this. Just throw in some paragraphs.
/r/seduction22/01/13 05:33 AM
1

Thanks for the advice. I think you nailed it with the "when thoughts of past failures pop up, observe their presence, acknowledge them, and move on to some other thought that is more positive." Inability to break out of cycles of rumination is a sign of depression. This makes sense, I'm not usually a depressed person, but I do get winter depression seasonally and lose a lot of motivation.
/r/seduction21/01/13 11:56 PM
3

My advice is to not set a kiss as your goal. Goals should not be outcome dependent. Now you can make the goal that you tried to escalate to a kiss.
/r/seduction20/01/13 04:02 PM
1

I have actually, it's really difficult for me as i have add and literally cannot stop my mind. I get anxiety when i try
/r/seduction19/01/13 09:52 PM
1

Good question, I'm not really sure. Not approaching is an issue, then I'm hard on myself about it and then a vicious cycle emerges.
/r/seduction19/01/13 05:26 PM
3

I don't mind rejection much, it's the awkwardness that ensues. When you grow up in an environment where you're taught at a young age that displays of your sexuality are wrong (religion, single mother) it's tough shit to get this deeply rooted thing over. I guess mybiggest fears is coming off as a creep, being direct, and even success (i don't know why)
/r/seduction19/01/13 05:24 PM
3

I suffer from the same issue... But are you sure you don't know how? Looks like you know seddit and have the tools (you escalate), like me my guess is you are just hesitating to seal the deal. maybe you chicken out last step? Maybe you don't let yourself succeed (my issue)
/r/seduction19/01/13 05:20 PM
2

Ha only 5? I have that record beaten.
/r/seduction18/01/13 10:29 PM
3

Serious question, how would mediation help? I'm legitimately curious, as mediation seems to be the new no-fap as far as solving all problems (as in, everyone seems to suggest it)
/r/seduction18/01/13 10:28 PM
7

In my experience, it seems like my quest for inner game has been a series of highs and lows. How you gain some consistency and how do you push through the low points
/r/seduction18/01/13 07:27 PM
3

Girls over use the shit out of the word. I seriously went up to a girl once and asked for the time, (seriously that's all, i didn't have my phone on meand was running late somewhere). Her full of herself friend goes 'who is that creep'.
/r/seduction18/01/13 04:16 PM
1

But then you have to listen to john Mayer. I'll pass on the sex if that's the cost
/r/seduction18/01/13 08:18 AM
1

You sure it kills your state and not just your attraction level to these girls? I'm the same, since i don't drink, but it just kills my attraction level
/r/seduction16/01/13 04:38 PM
5

So you hate awkward situations. i found the Ali g show, which wasn't scripted originally to cause my friends who felt the same to cringe. Try a few episodes.
/r/seduction16/01/13 05:58 AM
2

Never lead a girl on. If you are clear in your intentions 'listen I'm not looking for anything serious or to date' then it's up to her, but don't pretend to be all into her for sex. It'll bite you in the ass harder than you could ever imagine
/r/seduction16/01/13 05:55 AM
7

FUCK IT WE'LL DO IT LIVE. Step 5 seems so daunting...
/r/seduction16/01/13 05:51 AM
1

I wonder if the negative experiences are making you revert more to having a 2nd wave of anxiety. Honestly, I think that's it. I used to be so hard on myself if I failed to approach, it came to the point where I DREADED going out due to the pressure placed on myself. This became incredibly self-destructive for obvious reasons, and I guess is why I am where I am today. I would suggest rebuilding the momentum, talk to someone to talk to someone and no other reason You're right. I need to get back t…
/r/seduction15/01/13 06:36 AM
1

I do put a lot of pressure on myself, but it's just frustrating because I feel like i'm just regressing more and more. I know you go through waves, but lately it's just been down. Last year at this time, I was doing much better as far as approaching goes. Lately, I've been barely opening at all.
/r/seduction15/01/13 06:18 AM
3

Just flirt lightly. if they are receptive, continue escalating. Make sure it's not a friend zone scenario though and you aren't "pining" for said girls.
/r/seduction15/01/13 05:39 AM
1

I have the same issue, and the reason you hate it so much is because you see the traits in them that you saw in yourself and hated. You made a choice to improve that aspect of your life...they didn't, and that's ok. Don't try to change them, it's not your place (and is equivalent to a religious evangelical mindset). don't go out with your friends intending to pick up chicks. Sure, go talk to some girls... Perhaps offer to wing,but don't lose your cool over it. My drunken friends have blown ago m…
/r/seduction14/01/13 05:45 AM
3

Sadly, once you get in the dating world, it's more common than you think. Obviously not all women do this, but there are a lot of girls out there who think they can get away with anything.
/r/seduction14/01/13 05:33 AM
1

I agree with what your advice, but i think it's misleading to say you probably won't find higher quality women working there. One shouldn.t define people by their job (for the most part, heroin dealers, etc are an exception). You never know someone's story and some of the most legit, cool, awesome people I've met work in these transition jobs.
/r/seduction14/01/13 05:26 AM
3

Ok, I'm glad that I handled it the best way possible then. I didn't raise my voice or shout, I talked normally, because I was not about to get dragged down to their level. Unfortunately, even though she was the only person shouting... she didn't realize (or care) about it and didn't calm down. Good call on the best thing is to just walk away. It just sucks that someone can completely ruin a venue for you because they're having a shitty day, looking for a fight, hates all guys, etc. I'm sure I'm …
/r/seduction13/01/13 06:25 PM
1

What does that mean? You did or did not get nasty in response? Were they ahead of you in line, or behind? They were behind me in line, and I didn't get nasty with them. I tried to keep it amicable, but I held my ground as well (she was yelling at me to get the fuck out of here, get out of her face, etc. I told her that I'm not going anywhere but I am also nowhere near her personal space either). This place didn't have bouncers, but you make a good point about just walking away and letting it go.…
/r/seduction13/01/13 06:22 PM
1

as a setback or is it just you taking a breather on your way to the top of Everest? This is gold right here. I have issues with this. You're right about the inner game issues as well. It's weird. I KNOW I'm attractive, and girls want me, but for some reason I keep holding myself back. I don't really get why.
/r/seduction05/01/13 07:07 PM
1

You make a solid point. I guess the important part is I have no idea what I want. I have a lot of social hobbies (sports, etc.) and a lot I do solo, and I definitely have women attracted to me without me trying... but it's still me who needs to make the first approach/etc. And lately just dealing with that seems like so much work.
/r/seduction05/01/13 07:04 PM
4

Hmm i geocache all the time. I never thought about it as a date. This is awesome to know
/r/seduction05/01/13 03:11 AM
3

If I'm around a couple who makes me feel all 3rd wheel I usually say something like "GAAAAWD GET A ROOM!"
/r/seduction26/12/12 04:12 AM
37

Not sure if this is the best answer but: I was going to say agree and amplify, but honestly in this case I think a sly smirk with a "you poor, innocent girl" while shaking your head and immediately changing the topic could work here depending on the girl. It'll intrigue her, and she'll probably get in your face about it "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?" I'd just give a "maybe you'll find out" with a shrug and change the topic. Now suddenly you put her in a position of her not being able to handle Y…
/r/seduction26/12/12 04:08 AM
14

First off... Don't set expectations that you NEED to pick up a girl, etc. You'll only set yourself up for disappointment (I didn't hook up with any chicks besides some makeouts in Vegas). Everyone is overstimulated in Vegas, and the ad campaign makes guys put a lot of pressure on themselves "IF I CAN'T GET LAID IN VEGAS WHERE CAN I?" It's bullshit, don't fall into that trap. Now, actually go have fun. Make sure you don't just shack up in your room the entire time. You need to go and talk to peop…
/r/seduction26/12/12 04:00 AM
35

This is painful to read. I'll chalk it all up to a learning experience.
/r/seduction25/12/12 04:43 PM
1

Thank you for the very in depth answer. It's tough to pinpoint what the actual issue is for me. I noticed if I'm with friends, I am much more hesitant than as opposed to by myself, especially when one of my friend's insists I talk to a group of girls (I guess pressure). Also, girls I'm actually attracted to definitely give me anxiety... which is stupid. Dancefloor game as well, I cannot approach for the fucking life of me on the dancefloor. Direct game is probably the WORST for me. I never ever …
/r/seduction24/12/12 01:00 AM
2

How would you feel if a guy gave you a contact card, most girls I know would instantly go "what a tool." The point is it shouldn't take too much time if you're like "hey I'm in a hurry but let me put my number in your phone". I realize you say it doesn't have edge to it, but what exactly are you going for? Your end goal is to give the guy your #, and by doing the above: mission accomplished. As a guy let me say I'm going to be more likely to call a girl who gave me her # instead of giving me som…
/r/seduction13/12/12 12:25 AM
6

These guys have always been part of the community. I remember people voicing the same concerns 2 years ago when I first joined. The good news is that they ARE the minority, and when misogynistic crap comes about, it usually gets downvoted into oblivion. Take what you need, ignore the bullshit.
/r/seduction11/12/12 06:59 PM
5

One of the most frustrating things for me doing this is the constant fluctuations. I feel like I've got something down, and then i totally regress (I'm talking aa not results). How cani constantly improve without regressing into an afc? Some days my confidEnce will be rock solid and others i can't even approach a girl. I've been at this way too long.
/r/seduction11/12/12 03:55 AM
3

I hope you are trolling. I'm as much of an always sunny fan as the next guy, but its a TV show. They were parodying the whole pua thing. I recommend against it. Or you know what? Field test it and let me know how it goes... Keep in mind, Dennis is a sociopath in the show who brings women on boats for the implication...
/r/seduction11/12/12 01:36 AM
1

Similar situation but with punk shows. I've talked to girls there but i always ditch because the band is starting and i need to go open up the pit. But that'd my own issue... Talk to them. They are still humans and girls, they have all the same wants and desires as any other girl. Please excuse any typos as I'm typing this on my phone and pooping.
/r/seduction09/12/12 02:46 AM
6

Don't give a shit and it won't be an issue. If you keep it neat it'll be fine. If she had a problem, that's her issue.
/r/seduction09/12/12 02:41 AM
3

Ok gotcha, like I said, my post wasn't really intended for you, but more for the misogynists in here who would read your comment and be like "SEE EVEN GIRLS HATE FEMINISM LOL LOL LOL" Unfortunately a lot of dudes here in seddit (as you know, I know you're a regular) see the word feminism and instantly think "nazi". Or maybe I'm overly sensitive being a guy who has had to defend feminism his entire life to macho guys who think it makes you a "faggot" to call yourself a feminist. Either or. As far…
/r/seduction07/12/12 07:10 AM
3

Feminism gets a bad rap. It's radical feminism is what people should be against (all guys suck, etc). But feminism as a whole? That's what brought us the sexual revolution, equal (well... mostly) wages and rights, etc. Sorry for being so nitpicky, but I think a lot of people have the wrong idea about feminism. I'm not saying you do (I know you're a woman), but a lot of guys in this forum are all "OMG FEMINISM IS AWFUL!!!!!!!!"
/r/seduction07/12/12 06:59 AM
0

What if your roommate is messy as fuck no matter how many times you try to clean up or talk to them about it and getting a new one isn't really an option?
/r/seduction07/12/12 06:33 AM
-1

So help out. Comment on them, and tell them they'll get a better response in askseddit.
/r/seduction06/12/12 06:11 AM
1

Son, if that's the worst experience you ever had in your life you are a very lucky person. College is what you make of it. Get in campus, meet some people. Join some clubs or activities and you'll definitely meet people
/r/seduction04/12/12 06:21 PM
1

Personally I never did, but I don't think it's worth it. Think about it, what are they going to tell you? Grow a pair and approach? I'm not sure what your hangups are, but if it's approaching then do /r/100sets, or give a buddy 20 bucks and tell him he can't give it back unless you approach 5 girls or you kick it off with one. As far as everything else, post some field reports and people can give you insights as to your issues. 700 euros is a shiiiitload of money. And for what? Someone telling y…
/r/seduction03/12/12 06:00 AM
9

I noticed there's a huge push for meditation on Seddit. I honestly have no idea how to do it, and the few times I've tried, I can't not think about anything or stay calm. I have A.D.D so I doubt that helps my cause any. The only thing that makes me feel close to what you're describing is physical activity, which I do a shitload of.
/r/seduction01/12/12 07:33 PM
2

Haha i do the same at shows, but every time i meet girls there and am talking to them,i have to ditch them once the band starts soi can go lose my shit. Music > girls to me. Missed out on a lot of girls this way...ah well.
/r/seduction01/12/12 06:01 PM
5

I wouldn't say you were rejected but it was still you. It's always you. this is the problem with a lot of people's mentality in here, and was mine for a long time. This advice has this "YOU are in control of everything and YOU can change everything and every interaction" You can lead, but you can't force them to follow. No, it's not always you, as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes shit is just beyond your control.
/r/seduction30/11/12 08:50 PM
179

Problem is, for any guy who isn't getting enough sex, there's no way he can treat sex casually. Sure there is. you just don't give a fuck about sex. Sure it would be fun, but if not, i can go home and play Mario or hang with some friends and that will also be fun. I've been told i am way too picky for who i hook up withespecially since i have turned down sex multiple times (wasn't into the girl enough). The fact is people freak out about this thing that isn't that important. It's just a fun thin…
/r/seduction30/11/12 07:54 PM
10

People with anxiety won't feel awkward if you don't. Ehh that's definitely not the case. I know enough people with social anxiety in my life who feel awkward even when I don't...
/r/seduction30/11/12 09:35 AM
1

but I will rarely be the life of the party, and I'm fine with that. First off... That's a self limiting belief. You CAN be the life of the party if you wanted to be. However, it's different if you don't WANT to be. Don't want to be? That's fine... In RSD they talk about the searing fire (life of the party, etc) vs the burning hot coal. You can still be captivating and fun without having all the attention on yourself. Just make your conversations interesting and make sure that YOU are having fun.
/r/seduction29/11/12 10:30 PM
1

but for the most part I've come to accept missing out on the single most pleasurable human experience. Meh. Sex is like air... it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. Seriously, it's fun and all, but it's nothing to go insane over. So you don't enjoy sex that much, ok... no big deal. Your concern is relationship wise... go date girls, I guarentee you there are girls with the same sexual chemistry as you.
/r/seduction29/11/12 10:25 PM
1

those people do not have seasonal affective disorder. i'm definitely much more social in summer. in winter i'm fine just playing my NES all season.
/r/seduction29/11/12 05:33 AM
1

State is irrelevant, how you feel isn't always under your control. What you can control though, is the fact that you're taking action, and then just trust in the process and the fact that you'll get into state eventually, because it always happens This is a good point, I need to stop worrying so much about how I feel. The problem to me in my mind becomes though "If I'm not enjoying it, why the hell am I doing it?" which keeps me from approaching. It doesn't even make sense. I only made 10 approa…
/r/seduction28/11/12 06:05 PM
2

This is good to know. I knew I had SAD (is there a more condescending name btw?) Where did you get your light? Any recommendations?
/r/seduction28/11/12 06:03 PM
1

I actually take multivitamins, but I'm considering taking D just in the winter time. I don't know if there's any adverse effects. I should start taking fish oil again. I used to take that regularly.
/r/seduction28/11/12 06:02 PM
1

Thank you, I will definitely try some of the stuff you recommend. Specifically seeking out social events you wouldn't do normally, and not zoning out when home. Being unemployed doesn't help my cause, as I find myself just stupidly surfing the web. (In the summer I was outside all the time...) Going to go clean up a bit and then go shoot some pictures on a walk... at least get out of the house some.
/r/seduction28/11/12 06:01 PM
0

I'm confused. Most of everything Tyler teaches could be summed up in one sentence: have fun, don't give a fuck what anyone thinks, and don't be afraid. How is that manipulation in the slightest?
/r/seduction28/11/12 05:35 PM
1

If you think Waikiki is about peace and quiet you have never been there
/r/seduction28/11/12 05:29 PM
1

Some people are just antsy and anxious in life.
/r/seduction28/11/12 05:28 PM
11

Why is there so much hate around here? Not once in the video does he mention "go buy my shit, go do this, etc". He makes some valid points, and presents it in a free video.
/r/seduction28/11/12 04:24 AM
2

Women running away from you while you are filming a video about pick up? I can't see how that wouldn't lower his credibility. This isn't really about pickup as much as it's about all aspects of life. You made your choice, go with it. I think it demonstrated it beautifully. I'm picking this spot... these girls leave... ok I can be all butthurt or I can not give a fuck and continue doing my thing.
/r/seduction28/11/12 04:22 AM
5

This has described me to the t. Add a touch of self disappointment for failing to approach and then i just feel like shit the rest of the night regardless of how much fun i had. It makes me not approach because i can't handle the emotions that come with it. its important to remember its just a game but even then its tough. I'm trying to find this balance but not sure how.
/r/seduction27/11/12 04:10 AM
9

Wait people meet on that rating website? That's awesome
/r/seduction27/11/12 04:02 AM
1

Awesome! what the fuck is my excuse?
/r/seduction27/11/12 03:55 AM
21

I can understand that, however to be honest... anytime I tried going a while without fapping, I just become so outcome fucking dependent and nervous when approaching. Maybe everyone else has different results, but it doesn't work for me at all, and the way people tout it here as a cure all seduction pill is ridiculous. Not everyone obviously, but I see too many "stop masturbating it will solve your girl problems" comments here.
/r/seduction26/11/12 03:38 AM
2

You make some valid points, and I definitely don't mean to generalize. But style is completely subjective. You get some hipster chick or some punk girl, and what MFA thinks is "dressing like a clown" is going to fit in more with these crowds, where the typical MFA-er will be regarded as "dressing like a tool". I'm not saying MFA encourages people to dress like tools, just saying that like most art forms, it's completely subjective. Also, MFA just seems so counter-productive to what people are tr…
/r/seduction26/11/12 02:17 AM
2

For your skin? Lukewarm so it doesn't dry out. However hot showers help me relax and decompress.
/r/seduction26/11/12 01:56 AM
53

I agree with the whole testosterone arguments. I am sick of seeing things posted about /nofap increases testorone and thus you will be irresistible and approach ladies like crazy. Uh.... no. Placebo effect. If you want to use nofap... do it. If you want to take cold showers to get over flinching do it. But do it for self-control, do it because it makes you feel better, but enough with the testosterone nonsense already.
/r/seduction26/11/12 01:55 AM
2

My guess (i'm not op) is it essentially encourages people to obsess over their fashion and if you aren't wearing chinos,etc. You aren't going to fit their mold. I see people on there obsess about the most trivial stuff such as sleeve length,etc. Personally i can see where it would be helpful but i have my own style that i like that people over at mfa would scoff at. My personal issue with it is that it seems like mfa squashes a lot of peoples personal touch on style...i like varietyand feel like…
/r/seduction25/11/12 05:58 PM
1

I usually get in the shot With them. It's resulted in some numbers before and some weird looks other times.
/r/seduction25/11/12 03:09 AM
2

There's no need for name calling.as i said...when it was told to me it was seriously the only thing that worked for me and made me realize. obviously everyone is different and if it doesn't click with you/him...fine. Honestly i think he needs more help than we can give him here. There's a difference between being occasionally upset or nostalgic for a 2 year relationship that happened 3 years ago and being depressed about it almost constantly. I think there are deeper things going on here and a t…
/r/seduction24/11/12 11:38 PM
3

Because I'm not going to baby himand he brought it up in the original Post not me. Its delusional to think she's sitting around pining for him. It may have come off as insensitive but honestly when my girl of 7 years left me...it was realizing that she's out having fun while i was moping about her that made me stop fucking moping. NEVER WASTE EMOTION ON SOMEONE WHO COULDN'T GIVE TWO SHITS. Pearls before swine and all of that business.
/r/seduction24/11/12 11:28 PM
1

Pretty sure she moved on. How she feels is not relevant to what I have been going through. I understand that. But the point I'm trying to make is make a logical decision (even if your emotions say otherwise) to stop wasting emotion on one who is not giving it back. However, I recommend you see someone professionally. It seems like this breakup has hit a lot of deep emotional issues, the fact you still are upset regularly with a relationship that ended 3 years ago.
/r/seduction23/11/12 07:17 PM
5

Ok, you're doing a lot of things right... no contact is a big one. Let me ask you this? What did you do with old mementos, pictures, and other things that remind you of her? If you still have them, get rid of them. I know it's tough, but it's a necessary step. If you're still holding on to them, it means you are still holding on to hope of having a relationship with her when there is none. Listen, I got broken up with out of the blue with my ex who I was with for 7 years about 2 years ago. You h…
/r/seduction23/11/12 06:05 PM
1

yay autocorrect on my phone!
/r/seduction22/11/12 03:37 PM
3

Next time try posting in askseddit. But realize this is al limiting belief And all in your head. What makes everyone else belong? The fact they act like they do so Thus you belIeve they do. It's a glitch in life...if you act like a baller people assume you are one because you act like one.
/r/seduction19/11/12 07:20 AM
8

Lucky for you there are more women. Its alla learning experience. If i had a dime for fucking up a sure thing... Id be close to retirement
/r/seduction18/11/12 03:21 AM
7

I am doing very well thank you. Although I am going to assume you're asking me about my age. Late 20s. One girl was in her late 20s, the other one I think said she was turning 30? Does it alter strategy at all?
/r/seduction18/11/12 01:04 AM
4

I think that would only work with certain girls. Most are legit having an inner battle of their desires vs. everything society shames them for doing (god I hate "slut-shaming", not only is it misogynistic as all hell and fucks with girls emotions, it also makes it tougher on guys as well). Friends don't let friends call girls whores/sluts.
/r/seduction17/11/12 08:03 PM
6

"Relax. We clicked right away. This stuff happens." That's a good one to use. I'll keep that in mind. And thank you, I try to make a point to actually make it useful and not just "OH MAN I HOOKED UP WITH A GIRL LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!111111!!!!1111".
/r/seduction17/11/12 08:00 PM
2

When I'm home i got every concept down like a pro...confidence, your own reality, the works. The second i go out all that shit is out the window and i go into afc in my head mode. How do i fix?
/r/seduction17/11/12 02:59 AM
1

I call women dude all the time. Including onesi have hooked up with
/r/seduction15/11/12 09:33 PM
2

I like the response but how does this turn the conversation sexual
/r/seduction15/11/12 09:24 PM
1

Thank you, I will try this out for sure. However, I would try to fix the anxiety of the people around you instead of purely keeping your frame! This is tough for me to do. It's not like they are having a bad time or anything, but I am pretty good at picking up body language (I've read a few books on it, etc) and I pick up on the smaller things such as hands deep in pocket, nervous fidgeting (people who are usually calm are fidgeting, not like my "I tend to fidget because I had ADD and need an ou…
/r/seduction13/11/12 02:22 AM
1

It's not really on dates or with girls. It's more with other AFC friends.
/r/seduction12/11/12 10:01 PM
1

Actually, I tried that... it does the OPPOSITE for me. If I go without fapping, then I just become a ball of anxiety with no actual sexual desire. Fapping actually makes me more sexual and crave the real thing more. Opposite of most, I know...
/r/seduction12/11/12 06:35 PM
1

it wasnt just "talk to any girl and not give a shit and escalate." You're basically setting yourself up for failure if that's your only goal right now. That's kind of a general goal for most guys. What you need are real attainable goals that you set out to fulfill. Whether it's to just make eye contact, or approach, or get a girl invested in the interaction. Set out to accomplish these goals every night until they become common for you. Then set slightly higher goals and repeat the process. You …
/r/seduction11/11/12 08:33 AM
2

definitely low libido lately. I've been sick and I get Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is essentially mild depression in winter time. I'm sure this combo has something to do with it, but still... Unfortunately no doctor because I cannot afford health insurance right now.
/r/seduction10/11/12 07:35 AM
1

My current goals are to be able to go up to any girl and not give a shit and be able to escalate. I go through waves, where I'll be confident and awesome for some time, and then others have so much AA I can't do shit and am so in my head. This is frustrating, because I feel like I'm constantly regressing. It gets very discouraging. The fact I've had such a long dry spell isn't helping my cause either. I feel like I've regressed, and it's really fucking disheartening.
/r/seduction10/11/12 07:33 AM
1

I do care. Past few weeks have been tough with me being sick and winter depression setting in. I feel like my AA has come back full swing and it's been tough to approach lately. I've been trying to force myself, but haven't had that drive or urge to do so... tonight was the first night in WEEKS I went out and had fun and actually was social. I went previously, but I would avoid conversations (even with friends... weird for me). And I'm an extrovert so this is REALLY fucking weird for me. I think…
/r/seduction10/11/12 07:30 AM
2

I've read a lot. I've been here for almost 2 years now, and learned a lot of the fundamentals. Ingraining them? That's a different story.
/r/seduction10/11/12 02:45 AM
2

How do I regain my motivation? I've borderline stopped caring about seduction and girls in general.
/r/seduction10/11/12 02:41 AM
3

for fuck's sake people... They aren't saying be an asshole... The article suggests to have some damn self respect.
/r/seduction03/11/12 12:58 AM
17

dude... You don't need an opener... The whole nut screw thing is the opener and the way to break the ice. Honestly i would just go up to a girl and be like 'things you'll never hear me say outside this party.... Show me your nuts.'
/r/seduction03/11/12 12:50 AM
2

Instead, focus on your pleasure, girls want to feel like they are giving you pleasure. This clicks something deep inside of them (no pun intended). Tell them how hard they make you, how much they're turning you on. Do you know how validating that is that you can make someone feel amazing? Like they're reaching the mountain top because of YOUR looks, and YOUR skill, and YOUR body. Make the girls feel like this. Girls CRAWL back to me now, and want to fuck me so much more. And you know what? The s…
/r/seduction02/11/12 01:58 PM
4

MaysonNSS keeping it real as usual. I agree with most of it, however there is one point I disagree with, and one question. Develop a since of fashion and look good EVERYTIME you walk out that door. I disagree with this line in particular, I just personally think that it's sometimes good to go out and not give a flying fuck what you look like. Of course on the flipside, I guess there have been times where I didn't approach because I didn't look great, but I want to be able to approach regardless …
/r/seduction01/11/12 05:25 AM
3

In addition to Naga14's post, respect her privacy dude. Did she consent to having her picture posted up on here as a virtual notch in the belt? Then don't be a dick. At least provide a FR or something that offers some insight
/r/seduction01/11/12 04:13 AM
1

this is solid advice right here. I have plenty of nonsexual super hot friends (met most of them while I was in a relationship already) and let me say, hot girls could be some of the most insecure, needy people that you meet. You may see the girl as a 10 but many will never see themselves in that light. They will focus on the one or two perceived flaws.
/r/seduction31/10/12 02:51 PM
3

Then people need to get over themselves. This goes for myself as well.
/r/seduction30/10/12 09:39 PM
8

Why would you regret approaching her unless she stabbed you or something?
/r/seduction30/10/12 09:01 PM
2

Nope. Variety is the spice of life and not everyone is going to be interested in the same shit or vibe. A hardcore rightwing southern christian girl probably will not have much in common with a new age, gothic dude. And hey. That is ok.
/r/seduction27/10/12 02:56 AM
1

Yeah, sort of how I went with it too... I decided, fuck it... I'll go for the #. What's the worse that happens, she says no? (Disclaimer: I hesitated a lot and it was not smooth at all).
/r/seduction27/10/12 02:43 AM
1

The issue is I often won't approach unless I FORCE myself to. I don't know what it was about this girl. Possibly proximity... so unfortunately I have to think about it sometimes in order to take action.
/r/seduction26/10/12 05:33 PM
3

Yeah, I realize it's not the most exciting of FRs, but I was really trying to drive home the point that of plowing through and going with it even out of state. If I was in state, i would have easily been making out with this girl. But I was having a hard time escalating, etc. And yet still, she wanted to give me her #, and even gave me an "in" to get her #. This was at a perfect time, as I've been questioning my skills lately.
/r/seduction26/10/12 08:04 AM
1

Yeah, that's a good point with plateaus. it just gets very frustrating and tough to push yourself when you aren't seeing results, especially when I see people around me (some friends, etc) do this shit with ease (they are naturals) it gets REALLY frustrating. I have been trying though.
/r/seduction25/10/12 03:58 PM
1

Yes, you make an excellent point about it not being a straight line. Usually, nothing goes poorly per se (except when I chicken out and don't open... which happens more often than I'd like to admit), it usually is that NOTHING happens. Which isn't bad, but not helping with the cause.
/r/seduction25/10/12 03:56 PM
2

Re-evaluate your definition of success. Success doesn't have to be an f-close within 2 hours of meeting someone. I define success as having a positive interaction with someone. Even with rejections, there is always something positive to focus on. I think this is a big one. I try to remain outcome independent, but it's tough sometimes.
/r/seduction25/10/12 03:55 PM
15

I don't play a "game". When I talk to them, I just touch them like I do to everyone. If she isn't backing off, I escalate more.
/r/seduction25/10/12 05:18 AM
26

Realizing that girls want sex and don't want to be white knighted.
/r/seduction24/10/12 10:44 PM
4

Honestly, a good place to start is /r/100sets. The goal is to just open 100 girls in a month.
/r/seduction24/10/12 04:56 AM
2

The idea of going direct really terrifies me for some reason, and I can't pinpoint it. I escalate physically, but never open girls directly. The fact it bothers me so much to do it... bothers me. I think it's the fear of being creepy? Any advice with this? Or is this one of those things you just need to plough through?
/r/seduction23/10/12 10:27 PM
2

Ugh. I need to do this really bad. I can approach girls indirectly just fine (usually...) but direct is fucking tough. Which would explain why I am better in convos than the dance floor.
/r/seduction23/10/12 10:23 PM
2

Negging isnt the same thing as being a dick. These guys are just being dicks.
/r/seduction18/10/12 07:30 PM
44

this is money, and something that is overlooked. I have made this mistake too many times in my life, and only recently started cutting out people who don't respect me. Did I lose connections with some? Sure... But i can tell you i am a hell of a lot happier.
/r/seduction18/10/12 07:25 PM
8

It's really good to see you active on here again man.
/r/seduction18/10/12 02:28 AM
1

Yup, I'm trying. Last night I was out at this shitty dive bar just trying to do some trivia night and karaoke , and these 2 busloads of college kids come in dressed down to the T (we're talking spandex super tight dresses, etc). 2 girls for every guy. While I wasn't the most confident and nothing really came out of it, I did throw myself in the thick of them and start mingling it up.
/r/seduction17/10/12 02:41 PM
2

I'm going to attempt to read them daily, and fake it until I make it. Will it work? Damn straight it will.
/r/seduction16/10/12 06:04 PM
3

This is exactly the type of list I was looking for. Thank you!
/r/seduction16/10/12 05:43 PM
6

women want you inside of them. I love it.
/r/seduction16/10/12 05:15 PM
3

I appreciate it man. And wow, I didn't realize anyone sabotaged the links. That's ridiculous... and so asinine as well.
/r/seduction16/10/12 05:15 PM
2

Hmm, nope, I checked those. For some reason I think you posted it too, but I could be wrong. One of the biggest things I remember about the list was the fact that some people had issue with two that seemed to conflict: essentially "I am the shit, and everyone is lucky that I am talking to them" and then "I am no better than anyone else" I don't know why that's what I remember about the list, but maybe if it rings a bell...
/r/seduction16/10/12 04:59 PM
3

Very nice post. The narcissistic bit hits a little too close to home... as does the "high standards" part.
/r/seduction16/10/12 03:15 PM
1

Don't know if this is the best response, but I might throw out a "why, interested?" with a smirk. If she's not a friend, she's probing to see your relationship status. She's more than likely into you.
/r/seduction16/10/12 03:56 AM
2

How is the stuff outdated? Really, if you have no shame, then approach. Try slowing down your speech some if possible, it may give the impression you are nervous. If you don't worry about approaching though, then you're already 80% there.
/r/seduction16/10/12 03:54 AM
1

Who's asking you? What does it matter? I usually tell my friends I'm not seriously seeing anyone currently, which is true.
/r/seduction16/10/12 03:51 AM
2

I'd also be interested in knowing this. I just don't know what to say in a real world setting.
/r/seduction13/10/12 02:16 AM
5

I like your idea but I tend to think that silence and absorbing yourself into your own world without any hatred tends to sting them more, especially if they have a conscience, which is the only people I would like to keep around to be honest. Ignoring is a VERY powerful tool. However, if you don't tell the girl what the issue is and she doesn't know, it just comes off as passive aggressive. I don't like being passive aggressive. I will ignore someone after I tell them something and they do it ag…
/r/seduction13/10/12 01:32 AM
1

Try adopting this same attitude during conversations (even opening) nycprowl, anytime a girl gives you obvious lines or indirect communication, call her out on it, and basically say "No, we are in my world now. My world doesn't have these pathetic social games everyone plays" What would be an example when first meeting someone or opening someone?
/r/seduction12/10/12 10:23 PM
1

This is amazing and very true. No one gives as much of a shit about your fuckups as you. Fall out of love with yourself and drop the ego. Obviously easier said than done, but still. Also, great comic. And in regards to the last frame/last panel, the first thing that came to mind was "I used to read Word Up Magazine".
/r/seduction12/10/12 09:00 PM
3

Im not a fan of the "aasume attraction" thing, its inefficient and can keep you in-set too long with girls who are not interested. That's why you escalate quickly and move on if she's not responding. Assume Attraction is just so you make that move. When you're more advanced (like yourself) you can tell which girls are going to be more receptive and so you don't want to waste your time so you can go talk to other girls... But to a newbie who is second guessing themselves all night, IOIs are just …
/r/seduction11/10/12 03:46 PM
1

Exactly. I've been given IOIs countless times only to be rejected later. People keep taking my post as "WELL IF YOU DON'T GET IOIS YOU ARE BEING A CREEP EWWWW THAT'S SO RAPEY" There is nothing "rapey" about approaching a girl before you get IOIs and saying hi. If she ignores you or is curt, then bail. It's not rocket science.
/r/seduction11/10/12 03:34 PM
1

Owen from Real Social Dynamics??? Haha he actually even uses the building example. Good stuff man.
/r/seduction11/10/12 02:36 PM
11

nope. 'The very tiny selection of girls I approached in the vast majority of women... I did not date': FACT
/r/seduction11/10/12 02:34 PM
2

Girls give out numbers these days like candy, it's almost like social etiquette thing now. That said, you may not be building enough attraction/escalation with these girls. When a girl is giving you a #, she could very well (and probably is) interested in you... however, in the span that it took you to text/call them... they could have met a few other people and the attraction dies simply because the exciting feeling is no longer there. Don't let it get to you, just try to escalate more with the…
/r/seduction11/10/12 07:35 AM
3

My guess is you are being too supplicating. You are probably letting people walk all over you or coming off as way too try hard. People don't like a try hard personality... they want someone genuine. When someone is trying too hard, it means they care a lot of what the other person thinks, thus lowering their own value. Stop trying to impress people, and if people are expecting you to do errands or whatever, just tell them "I can't do it today, I'm busy with..." or "I did it last time, how about…
/r/seduction11/10/12 07:29 AM
18

Hence the "until proven otherwise." IOIs are great for calibrating and figuring out if a girl is into you AFTER you already started making a move and escalating. However, too many guys are looking for "permission" to make a move, or to even approach. You don't need IOIs to approach.
/r/seduction11/10/12 06:28 AM
2

Hey Todd, hopefully it's not too late and you get to see this. I've listened to a lot of RSD's stuff, and I understand the majority of the core principles. However, I am having a really hard time INGRAINING those principles into my being... the sexworthy guy, destroying pedestals, etc. How can I do this? It seems to be my biggest stumbling block with game.
/r/seduction10/10/12 06:06 AM
12

Yes, it matters a bit... but honestly I don't give a fuck. I've definitely approached girls in nice dresses all classed up to the T in shorts and a hoodie without issue. Is a hipstery girl probably going to be more attracted to more hipster type guys than a guy dressed in your malefashionadvice standard chinos? Yes. Is a girl decked out in the latest Gucci/whatever name brands girls love probably going to be more attracted to someone who dresses well as opposed to someone in their latest thrift …
/r/seduction10/10/12 06:01 AM
1

I can try. I can't promise that it'll be on the dot every week, but I can try to write a post once a week or so that takes some of the better questions of askseddit and their better answers.
/r/seduction09/10/12 07:54 PM
2

There used to be a Best Of Ask Seddit thread people used to post. A lot of people liked it, maybe we should start that up again, it was newbie type questions with solid answers every week.
/r/seduction08/10/12 08:14 PM
1

Listen man, we all hit low points. It's unfortunately a part of life... ups and downs. However you have to TRUDGE through the shit, and it'll make you stronger. Move out immediately if the treat you like shit. Find a cheap place, work a shitty job for the time being. Also, if you are seriously considering suicide, realize this. You are actually free to do ANYTHING you want. You don't need suicide as an escape, because you can do ANYTHING. If you are willing to end your life, you have the strengt…
/r/seduction07/10/12 02:20 AM
1

If you're not escalating... you don't have anything. Can it blow up in your face? Possibly... but you know what, girls are MUCH more forgiving of guys who escalate too fast than vice versa.
/r/seduction07/10/12 02:09 AM
2

it's not a disease man. It is a term we use just to describe the feeling of anxiety. I don't think you will find anyone skilled on here who would say 'oh you have AA? Don't approach'.
/r/seduction06/10/12 03:34 PM
2

Honestly, I'm on the guy's side. The girl is putting herself on a pedestal and couldn't handle the fact that the guy was no longer in the mood. Was the tossing the clothes out the front door fucked up? yes... But at the same time, if a girl is going to YELL at me for no longer wanting to sleep with her in MY own bedroom? Fuck that shit. if this was reversed, I would totally take the girl's side, and any guy getting angry that a girl won't have sex with him would INSTANTLY be labeled a creep, ass…
/r/seduction05/10/12 06:33 AM
1

Honestly, I'm not sure. I'm not really looking for a girlfriend right now and have been avoiding dating (I was in a 7 year long relationship that I got out of about a year or 2 ago, for the first time in my adult life). Lately I've been just going for the easy makeouts with girls I find attractive. I've been told that I am waaay too picky which is probably true (I turn down girls a decent amount, which you would think I wouldn't due to a dry spell, but I'm still turning them down... not sure why…
/r/seduction05/10/12 06:25 AM
2

Really like the post. Especially important to note that you are working against a lifetime of social conditioning, and a switch won't happen overnight. Agreed, challenge those beliefs all the time.
/r/seduction05/10/12 06:23 AM
2

Try /r/askseddit
/r/seduction05/10/12 06:21 AM
4

There was this girl who regularly pulled out her phone and texted people every time we hung out. Finally I started doing it to her, she got really pissed. Funny how that works.
/r/seduction05/10/12 04:05 AM
2

What do you do when it starts getting awkward? Like, how do you keep pushing the interaction forward?
/r/seduction03/10/12 04:32 PM
2

Yes. Seddit is how to increase your attraction to ALL women, not a specific one. maybe /r/dating_advice or something like that may work (which I occasionally visit as well)
/r/seduction03/10/12 07:49 AM
2

physically escalating is the best way to build both rapport and sexual attraction.
/r/seduction03/10/12 07:33 AM
6

IF you want to help him as a wingwoman, may I suggest going out with him and introducing him to to girls. It seems like he is a bit of a hopeless romantic, the type who falls in love before he really gets to know the girl. That is NEVER a good situation. He shouldn't be trying to impress her. He is already trying to get her tickets, and is essentially bending over BACKWARDS for this girl. Instead, he should try to play it cool, be exciting, and just hang out with her in a one on one basis. Show …
/r/seduction03/10/12 07:32 AM
1

Nice article. I don't generally consider myself a shy person by any means, but I definitely get AA.
/r/seduction01/10/12 05:00 AM
2

Yes. You are afraid of failing and your ego can't take it. I do the same at times. Stop worrying about your ego and get out there and fucking try without fear of failing... or even with fear of failing but do it anyway!
/r/seduction30/09/12 07:54 AM
1

thanks for the reply. So you are saying that being high value on your own is just a matter of perception and being calm, cool, and collected?
/r/seduction29/09/12 01:03 AM
4

Can we talk about meditation for a minute? How can one get into it? I have an INCREDIBLY difficult time meditating (I also have ADD). I either: Immediately get distracted and my mind starts wandering Get bored and Fall asleep I've tried on multiple occasions to meditate, but I can't seem to get it down and it seems to be super important to game. I last seriously... one second at most without a thought.
/r/seduction28/09/12 06:29 PM
7

This is easily my biggest sticking point, and the amount of 'friends' I've made since I started overcoming AA is unbelievable. It's tough for those of us instilled when young that that type of escalation is creepy, sexist, unwelcome, etc. It is easily my biggest downfall with game.
/r/seduction28/09/12 05:42 PM
2

awesome. I need to escalate better or at least open those who i deem super attractive.
/r/seduction28/09/12 03:44 AM
24

Awesome man. Keep that abundance mentality. It's amazing how much telling a girl "it's cool"throws them off. It really takes a hit to a lot of girls egos, they were expecting you to be all heartbroken and pining, and when you're not... it just confuses them.
/r/seduction27/09/12 04:42 AM
2

Don't know why you are getting downvoted. You are 100% correct that you need to have rock solid confidence and not be ashamed of being that sexual guy. DO NOT WAIT FOR GREEN LIGHTS OF RECIPROCITY BEFORE YOU MAKE A MOVE. THAT IS AN AWFUL IDEA.
/r/seduction17/09/12 01:30 AM
3

NO NO NO NO! Ok, I'm no pro here by any means, but what you are suggesting is forming bad habits. Yes, he needed to calibrate more, but he only opened up 4 women, the fact they rejected him does not mean he was being creepy, and a lot I wouldn't even call rejections. He should definitely escalate even if not sure about the reciprocity. ASSUME ATTRACTION until proven otherwise. If escalating naturally (again, he needs to calibrate a bit it seems) the girl pulling back won't be a big deal at all, …
/r/seduction17/09/12 01:27 AM
1

it has been proven that smiling actually MAKES you more happy. It tricks your brain even if you are in a shitty mood. I try to smile often, as I rather be genuinely happy and not having girls fawn over me than not and having female attention.
/r/seduction15/09/12 01:13 AM
18

and that is how you agree and amplify friends.
/r/seduction14/09/12 11:40 PM
3

Seriously. I don't think I've seen anything you've posted that didn't make a reference to your SN.
/r/seduction14/09/12 11:40 PM
1

Uh oh... in that case I might have some issues, as I see this girl pretty regularly while out (i don't hang out with her 1 on 1 or anything like that). On the flipside though, I have made out with friends who I've known for a while and even hooked up, and it never amounted to any jealousy, weirdness, etc... I guess it's all about how you handle it and if they are on the same page as you (No strings attached)
/r/seduction14/09/12 05:49 PM
3

cold approach them on campus... Or in class.
/r/seduction14/09/12 03:08 PM
1

i also go through waves of regression. In one now i am trying to break. After thinking about it some i realized it was my fucking ego. Had some successes then not some... Hey if i sit myself out i can not miss any shots. You are playing it safe... Stop that.
/r/seduction14/09/12 02:21 AM
12

The worst thing that happened was that the girl was underage and you realized that before you did anything with her? No. No that is DEFINITELY not the worst thing to ever happen. Here are some worse scenarios. 1 you sleep with her, you now go to jail 2 you trip while dancing, fall off stage, breaking your neck leaving you in a wheelchair for the rest of your life. 3 you get explosive diarrhea, shitting all over the stage and yourself. I can go on... but the point is, it's a matter of perspective…
/r/seduction08/09/12 05:27 PM
2

This is something I struggle with too (outcome dependence, not cocaine dependence). Friends tell me I put way too much pressure on myself, and I notice I am way too outcome dependent. How can one lessen their outcome dependence, when you've been sort of a dating and hooking up dry spell? It's tough to not care.
/r/seduction07/09/12 05:22 PM
2

it's your own mental block. I have so much acne scars all over my body, and still a decent amount of acne. I didn't realize how little it mattered (don't get me wrong, I sometimes still get a little self conscious) until I once dated this girl with eczema who had much worse marks, yet I barely noticed them or cared. She was fucking hot. Same goes for every insecurity. I dated a girl with a HUGE scar down her back and shoulders, and she was very insecure about it. VERY. It didn't matter to me at …
/r/seduction07/09/12 05:20 PM
1

Haha first result in youtube Sadly I'd say this is relatively accurate.
/r/seduction06/09/12 05:51 PM
2

Yes, I get to this point, women want to dance with me... it's then dancing WITH the woman where I have problems. I have no idea how to do it, I fail at escalating with them on the dance floor.
/r/seduction06/09/12 04:58 PM
1

Thanks for the advice... I do dance alright solo, and I am always having fun, but dancing with a girl? I'm awful. It's not even a matter of me not being confident, I just have no clue what the hell to do.
/r/seduction06/09/12 03:41 PM
1

Then you're setting yourself up for failure. This is the only thing people do in clubs, or dancing. Like I said, I am going to like hipster clubs, NO ONE is bumping and grinding to some random 80s song. I'm not going to the latest swanky clubs playing club anthems. I don't think grinding is wrong or weird or anything like that, I'm just not going to environments where it's really done, or makes sense to do.
/r/seduction06/09/12 03:37 PM
3

It's just that right now I have my mind kind of set on her, and I just think she's really awesome. it almost sounds like you are starting to get oneitis a bit. Stay friends if you can handle not being secretly in love with her, etc. Trust me, you don't want to be in that boat, it'll destroy your game in every way. There are other cool girls, go meet them.
/r/seduction06/09/12 06:58 AM
5

most people are their worst critic. I sometimes get bad acne and am discouraged by it... then I realized... holy shit I don't even notice it when it's on other people, maybe they don't even notice it on me. I asked a friend once, and she said "I honestly didn't even realize you had it until you pointed it out just now". We examine ourselves under a microscope, because we're vain as fuck.
/r/seduction06/09/12 06:53 AM
3

Personally, I go after single girls since there are so many out there. It is really your call though. How do YOU feel about it?
/r/seduction06/09/12 06:45 AM
8

Ok, I was raised by a single mother and who always gave me well-meaning advice. I was told women love gentlemen, always hold doors open, always treat them with the upmost respect, never be mean to them, etc. The worst advice I ever got was "the best way to date someone is be their friend first." She meant the best, but she didn't know any better. I acknowledge my upbringing and see it as a hurdle, but seeing that a hurdle is there is half the battle. You see there is a hurdle. You just need to a…
/r/seduction06/09/12 06:32 AM
3

You're overthinking it. A Lot. Just give her the friendzone speech that you've probably heard (like most guys at some point in their lives.)
/r/seduction06/09/12 02:48 AM
1

Honestly, it doesn't matter. If she wants to fuck you, it can literally be "oh man you should come back and see this pear that is shaped weird." Movie is the go to, it's almost like code for "let's hook up"
/r/seduction06/09/12 02:45 AM
1

the best part is... people may look at you, shrug, and then continue what they were doing.
/r/seduction06/09/12 02:43 AM
2

Thanks for the reply. I appreciate it. . But, there are the times where they'll cockblock you no matter what out of jealousy. Not much you can do about that. This seems to be the usual. Or they will cling on to her for dear life (female friends) or even lie and say "SHE HAS A BF!!!!" when she tells me no she doesn't and her friends are just jealous. Or, approach girls that are furthest from the music and chat them up. I wrote a guide on it here. I checked out the guide, good write up. Something …
/r/seduction06/09/12 12:36 AM
1

make the first move. Don't wait for them.
/r/seduction05/09/12 10:59 PM
4

May be unconventional, but try this (I have been in a similar situation before). Go out, but do not even THINK about pickup or getting laid. Just go out, and have the time of your fucking life. If you want to talk to girls, great. If not, do not worry about it and just have fun. You need a break and just need to go party.
/r/seduction05/09/12 10:53 PM
6

Good list, there are some that I get really hung up on: You don't focus on the girl you're interested. I usually try to address the group, and when I do to try escalate with the girl, I ALWAYS get cockblocked by one of her friends. I do not have a wing, and prefer not to, to be honest. How can I get over this hurdle. Approach anxiety and perfect line I guess not much else can be said then just go introduce yourself, but what about high energy environment bars where there is dancing and super lou…
/r/seduction05/09/12 08:45 PM
3

dude. I have been shot down fifteen times in one night before. Other times I made out with the first three girls I talked to in a night. It is a numbers game and is like poker... You get a bad hand, you then get a good hand. On to the next twenty.
/r/seduction05/09/12 03:36 AM
2

You didn't escalate quickly enough. You do have to dig yourself out of the whole (or if we're sticking to the room metaphor, yes, you need to heat it back up and it's going to take more energy). Or, you can always hang out in a different, less drafty room. Up to you.
/r/seduction02/09/12 02:58 AM
3

Don't respond, move on. When she notices she might be losing you, she may come around... however don't hold your breathe and don't wait around as a plan B.
/r/seduction02/09/12 01:52 AM
1

it's been roundly ridiculed by peers of both sexes And the reason he's doing it is because he couldn't give two fucks about being ridiculed. Hence girls are attracted. I'm not saying go fingerbang some chick, but I'm saying if you wanna go fingerbang some chick on the dancefloor, don't let some pointless ridicule stop you. And honestly, most of the people I see who ridicule are people who are jealous they aren't said guy or said girl.
/r/seduction02/09/12 01:50 AM
1

listen. I have read all your replies. You cn have the self pity party or you cab be the change you want. Your choice... It is no sin off my nose.
/r/seduction31/08/12 12:27 AM
1

if you base your self worth on if girls are fucking you or not... Then yes. It is pathetic. However, if you don't give a fuck of what some girl thinks of you then it doesn't phase you. You are putting these girls on a pedestal. You realize your anxiety about approaching is a coward's form of vanity right? You are so terrified it will come off as pathetic you just don't approach. That is being vain. Get over yourself man.
/r/seduction31/08/12 12:24 AM
1

he didnt. He would literally just grab her hand and if she pulled away, he moved onto the next girl instantly... Didn't give a fuck who saw him. If a girl reciprocated he would just move in,escalate the shit out of her.. And then make a motion for a drink to which point he was making out with her.
/r/seduction30/08/12 06:38 AM
9

I'll probably have to approach 400 girls just to get 1 date. Yeah, with that fucking attitude. You are the shit, remember that. i'd rather have no date than be rejected 399 times. So a girl rejects you, what is the big deal? Some particular girl was having an off day, wasn't into you, etc... WHO FUCKING CARES? her opinion shouldn't matter at all to you... yours is the one that counts. And you need to change your attitude, look up some stuff on inner game here in the sidebar, it gets much more in…
/r/seduction30/08/12 03:14 AM
1

I need to remember this tonight. I'm in a pissed mood but feel like going out, and need to remember not to give a flying fuck and just have fun when approaching.
/r/seduction30/08/12 03:06 AM
3

Very nice! Since I get a little escalation anxiety I try to tell myself "you should have made a move a while back". Also, if you're confident enough, you can definitely escalate a lot quicker. I remember I saw someone who was mute and deaf who had more game than anyone I've ever seen, since he completely relied on body language and escalation. He was making out with girls 3 minutes within meeting them, and if they rejected him, he didn't give it a second thought, and IMMEDIATELY moved on.
/r/seduction29/08/12 06:05 PM
2

Displaying Provider Traits Once a women has you pinned for the provider, is there a way to make her switch her image of you, or is it better to just give up on her?
/r/seduction28/08/12 07:14 AM
5

Stealing" a girl is equivalent to "stealing" the ball in a basketball game. Yes, except when it's stolen by a good friend of yours, it's like your own teammate stealing the ball from you, ripping off his jersey, and saying he was on the other team the entire game.
/r/seduction27/08/12 02:50 PM
2

I never said anything about lying. What he was saying was don't hold back anything you want to say to increase trust.
/r/seduction27/08/12 02:44 PM
1

Definitely a solid read, even though some of the info is pretty basic, I really like the part about it being ok to be told No.
/r/seduction27/08/12 04:38 AM
1

Yes, I've attracted people I wasn't attracted to or had any interest in due to their situation but that happens even before seduction. I just friend zone them, and keep my distance (I stay cordial but I don't fake interest) until things cool down and tune down the flirting.
/r/seduction27/08/12 04:34 AM
1

Be yourself and have fun, but just don't fall into the entertainer role, where you are doing it because it gets you laugh. If you're a goofy dude, then be goofy. Yeah stop that. Sounds fine. Also fine. Meh. Don't feel obligated or be show-off about it. But you don't need tricks up your sleeves either to hook girls.
/r/seduction27/08/12 04:31 AM
1

A nice girl will stay with a guy she doesn’t like just because she feels she doesn’t want to offend him. Sometimes. But sometimes a girl will stay with a guy because of his persistence and they are actually attracted, but they don't want to tell another potential guy (in this case you) that they are slightly into it. I've been in similar situations in the past and these girls said "I'm so not into this guy" wind up hooking up with them on a few occasions. Be alpha as fuck when you need to be. Gr…
/r/seduction27/08/12 04:26 AM
1

Just set up a date with her through text. I just learned today that general Seddit policy is to defer to kiss until another time if there's no chance of the same-night hookup. Live and learn, I guess. And where did you hear this? I am seriously interested because I believe you're supposed to keep escalating and show interest. If you don't kiss, she'll think you aren't interested...
/r/seduction27/08/12 04:20 AM
1

I like where you are going with this, but what exactly do you mean? What type of "honesty" comments are we talking? Also, wouldn't building too much trust and comfort before attraction give you a one way ticket to the friend zone?
/r/seduction27/08/12 04:18 AM
1

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ASSUME ATTRACTION! You KNOW she likes you until you are proven otherwise. Just escalate with her, keep it flirty and fun.
/r/seduction27/08/12 04:17 AM
2

The girl I practically love has ditched my ass for some faceless phantom Love? More than likely it's infatuation. There's a huge difference. She's in college, your best bet is to move on. This sounds like a serious case of oneitis.
/r/seduction27/08/12 04:13 AM
1

I don't know what type of girls, but you are right about the whole physically escalating thing. I need to do that quicker. One of my weakest points is that and closing.
/r/seduction27/08/12 02:56 AM
7

Something similar happened to me last night, I wrote about it here... except I'm not too pissed at my friend about it as he wasn't malicious about it (the girl jumped his ass the second I left). However, in your friend's case? He knows you're into it, and he was intentionally cockblocking you to get with this girl. Honestly,.I'd drop his ass as a friend, because you even BROUGHT IT UP with him and he said "that's your problem". You have every right to be pissed, as you are feeling betrayed by so…
/r/seduction27/08/12 02:55 AM
6

Just agree and amplify man. It doesn't even matter what the shit test is. "You're too fat" -Yup, they used to call me the buddha, feel my stomach. "I only date redheads" -It's ok, I don't have a soul either. "I thought you were more badass." -Nope, I'm practically a carebear... CAREBEAR STARE! Seriously, it doesn't matter at all as long as you keep your confidence. Agree and amplify all day.
/r/seduction24/08/12 09:22 PM
15

I am actually not too thrilled about this. I've been finding a dip in quality since I originally came here nearly 2 years ago now. There is still a lot of good material, but it's getting harder and harder to find, as it is buried under a lot of questions that get repeated over and over. I miss a lot of the old heads around here such as TofuTofu, Throwaway and Mouthpiece, these guys often dropped mad wisdom. Maybe I'm just old, cranky and jaded... but it also seems like everyone seems to think th…
/r/seduction23/08/12 10:10 PM
2

This is amazing, you make a LOT of good points in this. I'm going to nerd out and say it's like an RPG, and you have to teach yourself the skills and have the ability to learn any skill.
/r/seduction23/08/12 04:00 PM
2

Trust me I find that it has gotten better in my late 20s. Much more so than my early 20s.
/r/seduction23/08/12 03:57 PM
26

Getting a piece of ass is relatively easy and requires almost no skill or effort. Oh man. now you're just making me feel bad about myself. Seriously though, good post. I have a hard time transitioning (I am that guy women want to date and have a long term relationship with... not the guy who they wanna drop their panties for), and find it incredibly tough to keep it sexual. I think a big stumbling block for a lot of guys is the fact that growing up, many of us are taught that those carnal desire…
/r/seduction23/08/12 05:19 AM
1

I don't even need to read your post to tell you the answer is you have to be willing to walk away. Have your standards and keep them. Getting a red flag? Drop her. It sucks to do ( i had to drop a girl who was super into me and had great hookups with because of possessiveness) but it will save you a hassle in the long run.
/r/seduction23/08/12 12:20 AM
7

everyone of your assumptions are wrong period. ASSUME ATTRACTION DUDE. So you had a dry spell. Big deal. Same here, but recognize sex is no big deal. Not getting any? Who gives a shit, it isn't the end of the world or like you have been diagnosed with cancer or anything major. How many girls you opening on average? My guess is not enough. Change that shit.
/r/seduction23/08/12 12:16 AM
4

yes to most things i recommend against heroin. But yeah, be reasonably open.
/r/seduction23/08/12 12:08 AM
1

first time I tried... I spilled it everywhere. It was horrible. I was covered in gasoline, and had about 15 transactions each for like 25 cents a piece.
/r/seduction22/08/12 03:47 AM
2

Seriously though, I am confused and how to transform white picket fence to sex and sin. I am totally white picket fence guy, to the point where girls tell me "I'm the type they want to marry". Uhhh... not so cool. I'm scrawny but athletic, and tend to be slightly sarcastic (women will laugh call me a jerk) and and try to be coy. What else can one do? How do I make the jump?
/r/seduction22/08/12 12:12 AM
8

-I've missed a LOT of opportunities. like... shitloads where girls wanted to hook up with me and I just was oblivious. Example: was at a party and this girl was like "man, I just want to go have some fun somewhere. Know anywhere we can go?" I tell her about a bar down the street. "nah, i was thinking somewhere... more fun." Nope, was way too fucking oblivious. -approached a girl. her friend took my hat and threw it across the dance floor. I stole something of hers and then went to go dance with …
/r/seduction21/08/12 03:22 AM
1

Now I'm not a pro so take it with a grain of salt and I would love others input here, but personally, if I were in this situation... I would do that only after I made a move and got rejected, but it depends how much the feeling is fading in her. The reason I say that is because yes, scaling back contact MIGHT make her miss you and chase you (which is a good thing), it seems like she's getting involved with this other guy. So you can try going a bit without contact, but just "become busy" not som…
/r/seduction17/08/12 06:15 AM
1

Look up Dicarlo's Escalation Ladder. Don't memorize it point for point or anything, but that gives you a base on how to escalate naturally. if it seems like she's reciprocating, you advance. if not, you scale back. That will let you know where you stand. Example: You sitting next to her, you brush knees... does she move away? If yes, then scale back. If no, then escalate.
/r/seduction17/08/12 06:09 AM
2

You have to make a move. It's the only way you can get with this girl (or any girl) for that matter. If you get rejected, play it off like it was no big deal, because it isn't. Or just be content being her friend while the other guy makes a move and you go meet other women if you are worried about fucking up friendships or anything like that. It totally is your choice. Harsh, but true.
/r/seduction17/08/12 06:04 AM
2

Therapists aren't going to call you out on your crap, but I will in this post. You sound exactly like a friend of mine, except her issue is with guys. Honestly, try digging to the core, why do you get so emotionally attached so quickly? yet I still have this "need" for her to like me, or else I feel rejected. Sometimes I get involved with women I'm not even attracted to and end up getting hurt. My guess the reason is low self esteem, and you are using women to validate you. Take a look at the si…
/r/seduction17/08/12 06:00 AM
2

This sounds like oneitis and a half. Have you made a move on her yet? If she likes you, the only thing this guy is probably doing is being assertive. If she likes you, and you like her... the way you can beat the competition is by making a move. If you get rejected, then go meet other girls. Remember, YOU are the prize. Never settle to be someone's Plan B. I've done that too many times in life, don't make the same mistake.
/r/seduction17/08/12 05:56 AM
3

Waiting for the post. [FR] Internet Approached a Girl Today!
/r/seduction17/08/12 04:17 AM
3

Just have fun man. No one is there looking at you wondering if you look like a fool or not... and if they are, you really don't need to care about their opinion at all, as they already have low self esteem. Otherwise they'd be busy enjoying themselves too.
/r/seduction17/08/12 02:11 AM
4

Thank you. I am saving this in for when I get home next week (can't watch on my shitty phone).
/r/seduction12/08/12 05:15 PM
2

sounds like intimacy and trust issues.
/r/seduction11/08/12 05:53 AM
5

is he your friend as in good buds with him? Ask him. For women (and men alike) intimacy is all about building a moment. Unfortunately you got a bit AMOGed (not in an attempt to bring you down) and that moment was not built... You can salvage this, just next time you hang out escalate hard.
/r/seduction11/08/12 05:50 AM
1

well i do indirect alright. What would you recommend for direct then
/r/seduction11/08/12 02:11 AM
1

this looks interesting but I am terrible with direct game. As in, I don't even know if I have done it (all mine have been indirect). Is this a good place to start with direct? Honestly the thought of direct terrifies me more than I wanna admit.
/r/seduction11/08/12 01:43 AM
3

oh my god i love you. You are right, sometimes i get discouraged for not being where i want at 28 (only been single for a year and a half of my adult life) but you put it in perspective
/r/seduction10/08/12 04:08 AM
1

it happens. Don't beat yourself up too much or get discouraged. Go out and talk to everyone.
/r/seduction08/08/12 04:10 AM
5

How so? Seriously interested. What type of lessons from buddism can transfer over?
/r/seduction08/08/12 04:04 AM
1

I use it still. Pretty regularly.
/r/seduction08/08/12 02:03 AM
2

Thanks. I needed this. I tend to be incredibly hard on myself when it comes to seduction and if I fail to approach or if i fuck up with girls. This feeling alone is a downward spiral and makes you not want to go out. AKA I obsess over seduction and it is not healthy.
/r/seduction07/08/12 11:21 PM
1

sometimes it is a timing issue. Met cute girl while back... Pushed hard and got rejected a lot with mixed signals. FZoned hard... Later learned she was seeing someonee but never told me. Now they are done but I feel the friendzone is too deep.
/r/seduction06/08/12 10:58 AM
1

or you go in all bosslike and mack it w/ her friends.
/r/seduction06/08/12 10:56 AM
1

What do you mean by exit strategy? If you actually wish to be her friend have her wing for you... Otherwise if not, just drop her. No need for drama but why force a friendship if not interested?
/r/seduction06/08/12 10:50 AM
1

haha the towel was my functional opener... I reframed it by getting them to talk about themselves (their home, dreams, etc) but sexualizing it is tough for me. I'll try the humor angle.
/r/seduction06/08/12 07:58 AM
12

never had it happen when i first open but when flirting girls will do it to tease me. I will often respond 'I know! I'm just fucking adorable!' and continue on. Agree and amplify.
/r/seduction06/08/12 07:56 AM
1

thank you. Yeah I never tried direct before, i will look it up on here (direct feels so uncomfortable for me... Which means I should do it). How would you reframe a functional one? I tried a few 'oh where did you get that towel it looks awesome' and then transition... But i have a hard time sexualizing it.
/r/seduction06/08/12 03:20 AM
5

Assume attraction man.
/r/seduction06/08/12 02:15 AM
2

yes it has happened to me before: reasons why. 1 putting her on a pedestal. It doesn't matter why, but for some reason you value her opinion more than the others and are less outcome independent about it. 2 I freeze up with girls if I already messed up with them in the past somehow. Too much pressure, better to have a clean slate.
/r/seduction05/08/12 05:13 PM
2

'I'm not gonna smoke, but I can use some fresh air outside'. Would that work better?
/r/seduction05/08/12 05:05 PM
4

mileage varies on this one. I personally get more nervous if I don't fap and talk to girls, because I place so much weight on the interaction.
/r/seduction02/08/12 04:00 AM
1

If you are friendly and only friendly, you'll be thought of as a friend. Yup. I'll work on it. I find myself often being pinned as "the friend". Don't get me wrong, I escalate physically so I do hook up, but my game could be a million times better if I were able to escalate verbally as well.
/r/seduction02/08/12 03:25 AM
2

There's an article somewhere that that is the difference between being friendzoned (talking about every day shit) and generating attraction (escalating flirting with escalating sexual innuendos). Works for me. Can you please find this article? This is my SINGLE BIGGEST WEAKNESS in game right here. I friendzone the fuck out of myself, constantly.
/r/seduction02/08/12 03:09 AM
2

god I hope this is real and you're not just trolling.
/r/seduction02/08/12 03:01 AM
1

true, but this doesn't change the fact your friend is a douche and you should probably drop them. I would never go after a girl i knew a good friend of mine was into.
/r/seduction01/08/12 06:33 PM
2

As someone who has been part of the whole punk/hardcore thing for over 15 years, let me just say this... don't be that guy who is trying to fit in simply to score with chicks. They can smell that from a mile away. Just be genuine, and remember... they are just girls like anywhere else. Albeit a lot snarkier, and many will be much more shy and cynical, but nonetheless.
/r/seduction01/08/12 05:13 AM
6

Abundance mentality. I think this ties into an askseddit question I just asked. Quote completely nails it.
/r/seduction01/08/12 05:06 AM
1

you are going to get that anywhere dude. Some girls just suck and are unfriendly... It happens. Maybe she didn't even hear you. You'll get some rejections here and there, but who cares?
/r/seduction31/07/12 08:48 PM
1

I am not sure, I guess since I got into this seduction stuff alone, I feel weird going with someone. I need to get over this, but I also feel like there is more pressure with a friend watching you, and more chances of them blowing up your spot. I like going out with friends, but i will always approach a set by myself when out with friends. Or i will go out solo and meet people while out.
/r/seduction31/07/12 07:21 PM
2

faaar from mastered... But all of my approaches have been solo. Wings make me uncomfortable for some reason...
/r/seduction31/07/12 04:59 PM
1

By not letting my odd humor show. If a girl finds me offensive/not funny/etc, then whatever. Don't be afraid to offend. Now that being said, make sure you don't fall into the entertainer role.
/r/seduction31/07/12 03:21 AM
2

You can lead a horse to water but you can't force them to drink. Did he ask for your help? If not, let it be... this has bitten me in the ass too many times.
/r/seduction31/07/12 03:19 AM
0

I agree with you as in I leave them alone too, HOWEVER: I also do see the side of "what she does is none of my fucking business" as well. I totally understand the side of guys who do pursue, and while I don't agree... they have a point. She's a grown ass woman. She can make her own decisions and doesn't need me to 'protect' her.
/r/seduction29/07/12 03:54 AM
2

oneitis is when it is unhealthy because it is not reciprocated. If you both have feelings for each other... There is nothing wrong with that.
/r/seduction27/07/12 03:17 PM
3

I can't stop beating myself for some girls I messed up with... years ago!! It's tough man, but you have to be able to forgive yourself. I'm working on that now too. No amount of beating ourselves up about it is going to change the past whatsoever. What it WILL do is hurt our self esteem and cause us to dwell on the past and things that cannot be undone. Worrying about it isn't going to chance a damn thing. Easier said than done, trust me I know.
/r/seduction27/07/12 08:24 AM
2

Yup, I act like I don't (she doesn't know I care...) and it doesn't stop me from going out and partying. Just got back from going out solo. I just keep the me being hard on myself to myself...
/r/seduction27/07/12 07:08 AM
4

are your feelings reciprocated? If so then it's not oneitis. If not, then it sounds like the scarcity mindset if you are trying to be exclusive and she isn't. How many other girls are you sleeping with?
/r/seduction27/07/12 04:05 AM
8

Thank you. Yeah, it's not a topic I ever really seen addressed here, but after some reflection I started realizing the cause for myself... I'm sure that I'm not the only one.
/r/seduction27/07/12 02:37 AM
1

I try to move on.
/r/seduction26/07/12 08:58 PM
2

The bolds make this. Some questions: Always maintain the possibility of sex; plant that seed in their minds, and they won't be able to stop thinking about it. One of my biggest sticking points, how do you do this? Also, when a girl isn't reciprocating, do you keep escalating? I have a hard time doing it if she isn't reciprocating, even if she isn't pulling back.
/r/seduction25/07/12 05:48 PM
4

Thanks for the response. I'll try again, it kinda of simmered down the past week since I failed to make anything happen. I need to follow the GFTOW advice. Also, just to let you know, this line: But as it is now, these women are living monuments to your failure, walking around in your daily life. has struck quite a chord with me. So thank you.
/r/seduction25/07/12 04:18 PM
1

amen. The forgetting it part, do you remain friends and forget about it? Or do you ditch them entirely?
/r/seduction25/07/12 07:45 AM
2

Thank you for the quick response. I would always get into shitty situations with the girls I really liked and end up with the ones who were mediocre to me. I feel like this is the story of my dating life, and I'm not sure what to do about it. Honestly, with this girl(s) who you were really into that you're still hanging out with. I would cut it off with them. You still have feelings for them, so now you're an orbiter. Thank you for the article. I read it, and the one you linked into it (about th…
/r/seduction25/07/12 07:43 AM
3

Eric... You nailed my biggest issue in game right here. On account some of the girls are pushing the "known them for +1 year" category, I doubt I can do anything at this point (although they always initiate contact with me to hang out). The problem is, it effects my game in every way. My self-confidence just plummets, and it carries over when I try to meet new women. How can I accept the fact that I fucked this one up, and move on with my life?
/r/seduction25/07/12 06:35 AM
1

Me neither really. I just get a club soda because they rule. Who cares if you don't drink?
/r/seduction22/07/12 07:31 PM
13

Dammit. I'm tired, and wasn't going to go out tonight due to all day partying. Now I might change my mind you bastard.
/r/seduction22/07/12 04:14 AM
0

did... you downvote yourself?
/r/seduction21/07/12 02:37 AM
9

This is completely true. I have some really hot friends who will have a guy come up and talk to them, and then they worry they blew it because they were so awkward. Girls are human too people.
/r/seduction21/07/12 01:17 AM
1

Why are you so focused on her? Seriously ask yourself this. I doubt it was a long term thing... my guess is having a scarcity mindset, as you suggested. Now in the past I asked a similar question: "How to live in abundance, when... I'm not" and one thing that struck me was when someone told me to vision it like my empty refrigorator. Sure, it may be empty now, but I can easily go to the grocery store and buy food... just like you can easily go out and approach ANY girl. You just have to do it. I…
/r/seduction21/07/12 01:15 AM
3

I had a girl's friend I was hitting on take my hat and throw it completely across the dancefloor. I think I took something of her's and proceeded to dance with my much hotter friend.
/r/seduction20/07/12 07:30 PM
1

No. not weird. Humans are social creatures.
/r/seduction20/07/12 03:45 AM
1

for the most part, guys like forwardness. Don't worry about IOIs or anything else. If you want to escalate and make a move... Do it. If you aren't sure how, look up dicarlos escalation ladder. But I wouldn't be like 'ok... Let me display this IOI so he can make a move'.
/r/seduction20/07/12 12:39 AM
3

I simply bring people I want to hang out with.
/r/seduction19/07/12 11:00 PM
1

I fail to see your question to be honest. It's not an all out war or anything like that. Women naturally shit test guys to gauge their response, the same way I'll naturally tease some women to see if they have any sense of humor. It helps weed people out. It's not like you're doing anything wrong. Even if you're possibly dating a guy who read about seduction, it doesn't mean that everyone in it is looking to be a casa nova with 8 ladies on their dick at all times. Seriously, take a look around t…
/r/seduction19/07/12 10:57 PM
9

You will probably be hit with a TORRENT of different places you can find it.
/r/seduction19/07/12 09:30 PM
10

Good thing I'm both of those!
/r/seduction13/07/12 07:30 AM
8

Don't even bother trying to give advice. I had the same issue with my friend, and he thinks I'm a raging asshole because I won't settle down with the first girl who shows me attention. So yes, be friends with your bud... but don't even bother trying to give advice unless they ask it.
/r/seduction13/07/12 07:10 AM
24

I love archer... and I was thinking about how he's suave and smooth... but obviously, only takes bits and pieces of his character. Because honestly, he's a raging douchebag.
/r/seduction13/07/12 07:08 AM
1

That's everything you NEED to know about girls right there.
/r/seduction12/07/12 10:57 PM
3

I put my phone away and go do something fun. When i check it later, if she still didn't respond... Whatever. I had a fun day.
/r/seduction12/07/12 09:54 PM
25

Approach Escalate Don't give a fuck That's everything you need to know about girls right there.
/r/seduction12/07/12 06:23 PM
1

While a lot is rehashed, some decent tips in here.
/r/seduction12/07/12 03:04 AM
5

I think the trick is be assertive. One doesn't need to go to raging douche mode to be assertive, however I guess to stereotypical "mr nice guys" being assertive is being an asshole. Stand up for yourself, don't be afraid to say what's on your mind (unless you're a racist/homophobic/etc piece of shit... I feel like that should stated) in fear of offending people, and do it for the LULZ, not to get laid.
/r/seduction12/07/12 02:56 AM
3

You can do that. You can also go up to them and say "Hi, I'm sparkydoomcat." You'd be surprised at how well a simple introduction works.
/r/seduction11/07/12 03:36 AM
54

No, but I have a capri sun. If she turns down a capri sun than you want nothing to do with that lady.
/r/seduction10/07/12 09:57 PM
2

You're in the honeymoon period, it's not that uncommon. Just remember to have some time for yourself still, and don't hang on to every word. You're dating her, what do you need to prove?
/r/seduction10/07/12 09:56 PM
1

You're looking about it the wrong way. Don't think about how you can't "screw anything up". Think of it as giving her a chance so you can let her into your life.
/r/seduction10/07/12 09:54 PM
2

Sure. An example would be brushing arms, etc. If he doesn't pull away, you're good. Then you would maybe grab his hand... or if sitting, legs touching each other, etc. If he doesn't pull away, you're good. You're touching each other more and then eventually you lock eyes and go for a kiss. If he doesn't pull away, you're golden.
/r/seduction10/07/12 09:53 PM
6

Same advice that we give guys. Escalate with him. If he reciprocates, you're in. If not... you have your answer. And don't tell me you can't because you're a girl... you can, and SHOULD escalate if you're interested.
/r/seduction10/07/12 05:13 AM
9

Ok, it's not the sex that's the problem. It's the fact you are using sex for validation. You weren't having sex for the physical enjoyment (sure, that's part of it), you were having it as you said: I felt like I could seduce any guy into sleeping with me. Even my friends were astonished with my skills especially because many of them knew I used to a shy, kept back kind of girl Listen, what you're doing isn't uncommon, for guys and girls. Anytime you come out of a long term relationship, it's pre…
/r/seduction09/07/12 10:46 PM
3

Believing in equal rights and having women own their sexuality is hardly white knighting. In fact, I believe it's the opposite. Most "white knights" are all about "protecting the sweet, oh so innocent, precious woman" from an "asshole" because MY GOD SHE'S TOO SWEET TO BE DOING THAT, instead of letting them fuck whoever and whenever. But hey, it's obvious we're not going to change each other's minds.
/r/seduction09/07/12 10:30 PM
1

I know a decent amount of gay people and have several relatives who are gay. Part of the reason I think some gay people are so enjoyable to hang around is because a lot don't give a fuck. Many been through countless amounts of ridicule and homophobic bullshit, that they stopped giving a flying fuck about what people think about them. Go to a gay dance club and compare it to a straight one. You'll see what I mean.
/r/seduction09/07/12 10:27 PM
7

No offense... but that has nothing to do with feminism and it sounds like you aren't so sure either. If it weren't for feminism, girls would never be having sex and holding out until marriage. Feminism is all about women OWNING their sexuality and having equal rights, not demonizing guys. Sure, there are some who claim to know feminism who think that all guys are bad, but there's guys who claim to know seduction and believe that it's all about manipulating women.
/r/seduction09/07/12 10:23 PM
2

yeah obviously i don't agree with everything she said (specifically about how you may be bothering her if she's deep in a book, etc) but I also don't agree with everything Tyler, Mystery, etc say either.
/r/seduction09/07/12 10:19 PM
1

Probably because they spammed the shit out of people. I subscribed to it, thinking they would have some worthwhile content. But then every day I would get messages about "the subreddit seddit mods don't want you to see", etc. I subscribed after their spammy messages and their constant attack on seddit. Prove you're the better subreddit by your content, not by telling me you're better.
/r/seduction09/07/12 06:47 AM
7

I know seddit hates taking advice from women on women for the whole "don't ask a fish how to catch a fish" type thing, but this dating coach has a lot of good insights. A lot of it is stuff you already know, but there are definitely some solid points in there... Specifically: Women get approached ALL THE TIME. Seriously, all the time. So when you think you're messing up with her and being all awkward and shit, she probably doesn't even realize and will forget about the interaction within a few m…
/r/seduction09/07/12 05:10 AM
1

I read your post and your other comment about 'can't not hang out with her' so here is my advice: Stop showing her attention when hanging out. Like be cordial, but if she is off doing an activity with half of your friends go hang with the other half. If you MUST hang with her (and no one is forcing you. It is YOUR choice. Remember that...) Tell her off. Seriously. It doesn't need to be cruel or anything, but a simple 'stop flattering yourself.' would do fine. From your description, she sounds li…
/r/seduction02/07/12 08:33 PM
4

I think people are missing the point of this post. I am not actually asking people why a girl isn't hooking up with me, I am using an example to show how ego can cloud your judgement and make you THINK you are all about a girl.
/r/seduction28/06/12 04:28 PM
2

I'm a guy. I have plenty of female friends. Girls have their own version of this, where they friend a guy because they know the guy likes them, and then he becomes a nonstop source of validation (we call it being an "orbiter"). There's two sides to every coin, and just like you probably aren't trying to get every single guy friend of yours to be an orbiter, not every single guy is using you to get laid.
/r/seduction28/06/12 01:42 PM
6

t's tough in those environments finding a well-rounded woman. Wrong. Just like everyone else, women like to go out. Because they are having a wild night one day doesn't mean they are relationship material. They can say the same thing about guys "every guy at bars just want sex, where do I meet a nice man". Just because women are acting in one way doesn't mean they are like that all the time. They're single and having fun, just like you. Now, that being said... you can usually screen a little bet…
/r/seduction27/06/12 03:38 PM
1

Or Frank's seduction system, the most foolproof way ever: "Whoops, I dropped my wad of cash and my magnum condom that I use for my massive dong!" I need to try that one day.
/r/seduction26/06/12 06:29 AM
1

Thanks for the advice! And the guy in the photo is a character on the television series "Always Sunny In Philadelphia"
/r/seduction26/06/12 05:55 AM
2

Fair enough. I didn't mean it to come off as harsh or anything like that, what i meant was if she was SUPER interested, she wouldn't give a shit how much older the guy is. Now that being said, he did go for the # close super soon, and I think that is why. I should have eloborated more. He didn't really give it a chance to connect, and the girl probably was turned off by the age some, but if after connecting a bit, may have given it anyway. That being said I'm not saying he did anything wrong at …
/r/seduction25/06/12 11:05 PM
6

Good job approaching. There is a WORLD of difference between someone who is 18 (just finishing up high school) and someone who is 23 (in real world). But honestly, I think she was letting you down easily and used age as an excuse.
/r/seduction25/06/12 10:58 PM
1

What is a low maintenance (no wax/gel/etc) haircut for someone with wavy hair. My hair looks mostly like this.
/r/seduction25/06/12 10:55 PM
28

and this newbies is an example of agree and amplify
/r/seduction23/06/12 12:25 AM
22

OK, but really. You’re nervous. That’s what this all comes down to. You’re nervous and you’re not used to being sexually forward. You get the butterflies in your stomach and you sit there paralyzed, looking at her, listening but only half listening, talking but only half paying attention to what you’re saying. It’s hard. I get it. I was there too. Many times. We all have been. THIS IS TERRIFYING!!!!!!!!! No, but seriously... I do get crazy nervous when going for a kiss, unless it's a girl I've n…
/r/seduction22/06/12 09:23 PM
9

RSD talks about this. I'll address it here. A bit long, but worth your time. People feel like they need a reason to be confident. Maybe it's a good job, a nice house, a nice car, some other trivial bullshit. Maybe they just accomplished something huge. Whatever. You CAN be confident without anything else. You don't NEED reasons to be confident. Watch young children, they are confident as shit. For no reason whatsoever, because they don't need a reason. Then sometime as we get older, it is instil…
/r/seduction22/06/12 07:40 PM
14

I don't get this whole "stop masturbating" thing. If it becomes a problem and is taking over your life... then yes. If you feel like it is actively causing you to stop yourself in aspects of life (taking all your time, making you objectify women, etc) then sure. However there are plenty of people who stand up for themselves, meet women, have sex, and still masturbate. it's like me telling everyone to STOP DRINKING because some people are alcoholics. In moderation folks... In moderation.
/r/seduction21/06/12 09:50 PM
1

Good list, but my only complaint is you pigeon hole yourself and limit yourself with certain beliefs. Example: On another note – DO NOT WEAR ATHLETIC SHOES OUT. Unless you want a woman to think you’re 14. “But Vichet, that’s my STYLE!” – yep… and it won’t get you laid You don't need to wear chinos or whatever the hell they are to get laid. I've had plenty of one night stands where I wore shorts, a tee shirt, and running shoes out at the bar. Clothes aren't as important as people think.
/r/seduction20/06/12 03:22 PM
1

I agree, I am a fan of RSD and Tyler, but I will admit sometimes he comes off as "holier-than-thou" when it comes to the material. However, even in those moments, there are a lot of useful nuggets if you can get past the fluff.
/r/seduction20/06/12 02:11 PM
1

cough internet cough
/r/seduction20/06/12 02:09 PM
1

I actually never listened to the game or any of those. I was drawn to Tyler and David Wygant for their natural approach types. Thank you for letting me know The Game probably isn't worth my time.
/r/seduction20/06/12 02:09 PM
8

applause As a girl, that's the best way to be approached - gradually and comfortably. I agree, but sometimes the problem with this approach is it makes you lean on borderline friendzone. -from a guy who's friendzoned himself too many times by not escalating fast enough.
/r/seduction20/06/12 02:08 PM
2

there is a huge difference though between being liked and having it ruin your night. Many people (myself included) get so caught up in validation from time to time that if they do not get it... Their world gets crushed. He uses a pretty good example in the video
/r/seduction20/06/12 04:56 AM
1

yes. My mind wanders, i fidget and all around get terribly bored
/r/seduction19/06/12 11:05 PM
4

Best quote of the video: "It's fucking lame, to see guys need that validation... need that approval from women. And I always ask guys 'why do you give a fuck? Why do you fucking care?'" And if I seriously sit down and think about it, I honestly can't think of a single good reason as to why I give a fuck.
/r/seduction19/06/12 06:45 PM
6

I have A.D.D and have an incredibly difficult time doing the meditation thing. Any advice?
/r/seduction19/06/12 05:03 PM
2

and what does that tell everyone about approaching girls...
/r/seduction15/06/12 06:52 PM
3

EMBRACE IT! EMBRACE THE AWKWARDNESS!!!!!
/r/seduction15/06/12 06:16 PM
9

nope. I'm sexy and I know it. Seriously though, looks are subjective. Just like you like a certain type of girl (so many times friends of mine would be attracted to a girl I didn't find hot and vice versa) women are the same. But still. Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah.
/r/seduction15/06/12 01:50 AM
7

I don't chase em, I replace em -biggie smalls -michael scott
/r/seduction14/06/12 12:14 AM
9

I actually never had a problem in r/sex or r/relationships, and frequent in there on occasion to give advice. We should have subreddit wars. No. Just no.
/r/seduction07/06/12 08:15 PM
7

They make it ok for women act like spoiled brats in the vague chance of getting some pussy. Don't put up with that shit. If girls are gonna act like spoiled brats, simply move on. Then the girl will be unhappy because no one will hook up with them except for their orbiters, who they don't want to hook up with anyway.
/r/seduction07/06/12 08:14 PM
12

Haters gonna hate. I'm really fucking sick of having to defend this whole community because of a few bad apples. I've been banned from a few subreddits for the mere fact that they saw that I once posted in seddit. I never mentioned seddit in these subs, but banned regardless. Whatever, fuck em. If people want to white knight the shit out of girls and condemn us, that's no skin off our noses. They're the ones who have to live with themselves and their low confidence, not us. It doesn't effect me …
/r/seduction07/06/12 05:36 PM
2

been there done that, no feelings... Just wants an ego boost
/r/seduction05/06/12 11:15 PM
25

nah. It's good for you to leave the house every now and then and not give a fuck what you look like.
/r/seduction04/06/12 11:19 PM
1

Oh I had a talk about it with her today. She apologized profusely.
/r/seduction04/06/12 07:46 PM
1

Tell me about it. If we didn't go way back (we're talking like 10 years) and she wasn't one of my good friends, I'd probably drop her as a friend. I know alcohol played a big role, but still... I'm pretty pissed. At first I was able to laugh it off, but I'm more pissed about it. I'm going to have a serious convo with her tomorrow about it.
/r/seduction04/06/12 07:01 AM
1

this is more an issue of being naturally empathetic than mirroring (as I realized after i typed it out and forgot to change the title). People who are naturally highly empathetic have been shown to automatically and subconsciously feel others emotions regardless of leadership skills, etc. I see what you're saying, but this is more for people who subconsciously feel this and aren't sure why, and how to overcome it.
/r/seduction02/06/12 03:12 PM
2

Everyone loves ninja turtles. I go to more hipstery places than any place that would require a button down shirt. Because fuck that shit.
/r/seduction01/06/12 10:13 PM
9

In my case my goal was "get out of the house and stop being anti-social". so for me, going out was a goal in itself. Mission accomplished.
/r/seduction31/05/12 06:58 PM
5

It was fun. Mostly a dude fest, the downstairs was more club-like and bumping with girls but I honestly wasn't in the mood for that at all. I didn't approach as many ladies as I liked, but I forced myself to talk to at least one group of girls. They were actually super into it... but I wasn't. I wound up having a lot of Ninja Turtle discussions with a lot of random guys... and some Final Fantasy debates. So not very successful night in terms of meeting women, but a good night for my inner nerd.
/r/seduction31/05/12 06:50 PM
3

Right? I'm surprised I haven't been awarded the key to the city yet.
/r/seduction31/05/12 06:48 PM
33

Went out solo when really not in the mood.
/r/seduction31/05/12 07:03 AM
2

You pretty much nailed it. What you want is outcome independence, which essentially means you don't give a shit about the outcome. That doesn't mean don't try to improve or anything, but you're not worried about what happens. If you go up to a girl and she laughs in your face... hey who gives a shit? Going to a party and going home alone? Don't give a fuck. It's a very zen style of thinking. Expect nothing from an interaction, and you won't be disappointed. If you go into a conversation EXPECTIN…
/r/seduction29/05/12 05:53 AM
1

, I'm more annoyed with myself for getting into that situation in the first place, rather than what actually happened. Now I'm confused... you're more upset that you even approached her and you sparked some initial attraction with her? You don't know what girls are gonna be DTF or which ones are going to want to be your best friend. I don't see any issue with anything here. So you talked to a girl for a while without ejecting... don't worry about it. At WORST, you had a conversation.
/r/seduction28/05/12 05:45 PM
4

I've been here for a while now (year and a half) and I noticed a LOT of the more experienced users with really good insights left because their posts were getting hidden in a sea of "I'm trying to get with this girl, what should I text her?" type posts, or they just found that coming to seddit was no longer helpful at all. To try and counter this a while back, askseddit was created for this reason, and there are actually a lot of good insights there (we even used to have a weekly seddit post "be…
/r/seduction28/05/12 05:42 PM
3

This is the definition of outcome dependence. You're sort of upset because you expected a certain outcome (getting laid) and it didn't happen. As someone who doesn't drink, I understand your pain. I have a moral dilemma every time a drunk girl is coming on to me. In good conscience, can I hook up with her and feel good about it? In every case for me personally the answer has been no, so I haven't (unless there was obvious interest before getting THAT drunk or if we've hooked up before). I though…
/r/seduction28/05/12 04:36 PM
0

The grass is ALWAYS greener.
/r/seduction28/05/12 04:30 PM
1

It's funny. Seddit teaches us to not give a fuck and to have self-confidence, and then yet I feel like I am fucking up every interaction if I didn't #-close, k-close, because I didn't escalate enough. Then I get pissed I'm not as outcome independent. Then I get pissed that i care I'm not outcome independent. OH GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!
/r/seduction27/05/12 03:45 AM
3

I had a nice long insightful response and then my stupid fucking phone deleted it. Anyway here is the condensed version: It sounds like these guys who are 'jokingly' hitting on you, are doing it seriously, but just are terrified of rejection. Hence they walk away before they let you even respond or keep it all light hearted and joking hoping you will take the lead. To be honest, this is what a lot of girls (who I give credit to) do when they come up to me and approach in the few instances it hap…
/r/seduction25/05/12 12:57 AM
10

Obviously I'm not talking about dumber than shit cat calls some dumbasses do. I see plenty of girls who I am very close with and good friends with who complain "I never get hit on", and then a guy will come up to them and try to start a real conversation and legitimately be interested in getting to know her and they are just like "OMG get away from me creeper". I'm not saying every girl does this, but I know a lot who do. I get jokingly hit on a lot by guys that know that they don't have a chanc…
/r/seduction24/05/12 08:37 PM
8

Yes and no. I go out with plenty of hot women who don't get hit on. Then I go out with plenty of hot women who get hit on but then dismiss them and then complain "no one hits on me!!!!"
/r/seduction24/05/12 06:47 PM
3

Good post... Few questions: Even reading that girl's response made me uncomfortable... How do you go about shaking off responses like that, or getting in the zen moment (when i actually get rejected I don't give a shit for the most part, but going into it I do fear it). You say push on when you run out of things to say, how? This is something I'm terrible at. I have ADD and find it incredibly difficult to meditate, which you said helps... How can I overcome this, or any other tricks?
/r/seduction24/05/12 05:59 AM
3

Her having a boyfriend/husband. Her looking for a relationship when I'm clearly not, and I KNOW she will become clingy.
/r/seduction23/05/12 02:52 AM
240

Exactly. Stop worrying about what THEY want and focus on what YOU want.
/r/seduction15/05/12 09:52 PM
2

It's all good man. I have NO FUCKING CLUE what I want either out of girls/life/work/etc. Life's a journey. Sometimes we just wander.
/r/seduction15/05/12 09:50 PM
3

What are you looking for? What do YOU want. If they are both heading to relationship levels, and they are asking you about it, it's fucked up to string them along. If you're not looking for a relationship, and they voiced their concern about it, you're stringing them along.
/r/seduction15/05/12 05:20 PM
11

No, you can still have oneitis for a girl you've slept with, or you could be developing a healthy relationship without having sex yet (yes, it does happen, although not with me). Simply put, oneitis is when you are longing for a girl and the feelings just aren't returned, and you can't get past it.
/r/seduction15/05/12 06:19 AM
10

go for it.
/r/seduction15/05/12 06:14 AM
38

I typed up a similar post but deleted it when I saw this (since we did it at the same time I don't want to flood seddit with the same thing). But anyways: ONEITIS IS NOT THE SAME THING AS INTIMACY This seems to be the biggest issue newbies seem to have a hard time wrapping their head around. Because you're into a girl, and she's into you...it's NOT ONEITIS. That's called developing a healthy relationship. Seddit and PUA material doesn't teach you to shun these feelings, on the contrary. Seddit p…
/r/seduction15/05/12 06:10 AM
3

I'll just leave a comment with my post in it, it was short.
/r/seduction15/05/12 06:09 AM
4

Hahaha I just typed up the same post, while you were typing it as well.
/r/seduction15/05/12 06:05 AM
1

It's NOT that different though, there are plenty of hot girls out there who have incredibly low confidence, and even if other men see them as hot, they don't. Some of the nicest, down to earth people I've talked to have been super hot. Some of the meanest as well. Same goes for people who weren't attractive. I just don't think it matters that much.
/r/seduction14/05/12 08:43 PM
1

I just feel like I didn't handle it well. The fact I lost all urge to approach when I was so excited before bothers me. Also, felt like a breakup almost, and this girl is hot, but I don't like the possessive stuff going on.
/r/seduction13/05/12 02:48 PM
4

this is a good point. I am just bothered by how quick my state dropped and it almost felt like a breakup (we were hooking up about a month ago before she started laying the gf thing a bit heavy). Oh well. Abundance.
/r/seduction13/05/12 02:46 PM
109

'getting jealous big guy? I can flirt with you too, there's enough of me to go around.'. Flirt with guy until he feels uncomfortable.
/r/seduction12/05/12 10:38 PM
1

Can you elaborate? How does it affect you psychologically and physically?
/r/seduction12/05/12 07:01 PM
3

I agree. Hence the whole "use in moderation" thing. If someone finds themselves craving porn all day, looking at it constantly, etc... then they obviously have a problem and should refrain. However the everyday joe who looks at porn occasionally and it isn't going to interfere with his life doesn't really have a problem, and I just get a little tired of the whole "PORN WILL RUIN YOU AND WILL DESTROY YOUR CHANCES WITH WOMEN" I don't drink due to alcoholism that runs in the family, and and it woul…
/r/seduction12/05/12 04:48 PM
3

but still manage to be friends with her, because she is still pretty cool You know what you need to do. Fucking do it. You need to stop hanging out with her for a while and date others. If you're not willing to do this, there is nothing anyone can say that can help you out.
/r/seduction12/05/12 07:41 AM
2

Exactly, push through and they'll see you're joking. I've definitely said "how you going to make up for it?" before, and it resulted in a makeout.
/r/seduction12/05/12 05:11 AM
2

Oh Lordy Lawd! Porn and masturbation will destroy the children, and ruin YOUR LIFE! STAY AWAY! Seriously though, unless you have some uncontrollable addiction, i don't think it's a bad thing. People say it hurts your game and kills your drive, which may be true, but honestly I think restraining just lowers people's standards. They are now trying to "game" the girl they would otherwise have no attraction to, and many are now fucking anything with legs. Like everything else in life, moderation is …
/r/seduction12/05/12 05:00 AM
1

Don't feel like you NEED to open everybody. Yup. That's my issue right there. I feel like I NEED to open people or it wasn't a successful night. Which is ridiculous because a night's success should be based on how much fun I'm having. At the same time, i want to make sure I don't wind up in a state of comfort where I'm rationalizing not opening girls because "hey I'm having fun here and so why bother?"
/r/seduction11/05/12 07:05 PM
1

I've actually contemplated this before. I think my issue is this: Rejections don't bother me so much (I don't like them or anything, but I do find them kind of hilarious a lot of the time). I think my biggest issue is the awkwardness of it all. Which logically, I know isn't a big deal, but I seem to have a hard time getting past that.
/r/seduction11/05/12 04:55 PM
1

That's an awesome saying.
/r/seduction11/05/12 03:32 PM
1

I feel like you are suffering from AA the moment you start getting dressed for the night. Stop that. Yes, this is true. It's ridiculous. It's tough to stop, i'm working on it though. f I could leave you with one principle it would be this. Nobody is going to remember Kobe Bryant by his missed shot stats. Only the number of points he made, championships he won, and impact on the game he left. Kobe shoots wayyyyyy more than anyone else on his team and in turn he misses wayyyy more shots than anyon…
/r/seduction11/05/12 03:31 PM
1

As far as the cute dancing girls, use dance game to take them off the floor. My dance game is meh... I just never know what to do. Once in a while I'll go up to a girl, grab her hand, and dance with her a bit (sometimes leading to a makeout), but I feel like I do better talking. I however love to dance. Try taking some friends (female preferable) and hitting up the clubs. I usually do, but they don't always want to go out and I don't want my night to be reliant on the whims of other people, so h…
/r/seduction11/05/12 07:45 AM
5

Success compounds into more success, failure into more failure. You're only really failing because of the immense pressure you're placing on yourself. This is true. There are some nights when I have no problem whatsoever approaching girls. Then there are nights like tonight. Your gym analogy is spot on. I need to make more small attainable goals.
/r/seduction11/05/12 07:43 AM
1

I give you guys credit who plow through it. When a girl starts using a bitch shield... it is for screening. My screening. And I suddenly have no interest in the girl.
/r/seduction11/05/12 03:19 AM
3

Even if a girl you're after seems unimpressed- assume that's because she doesn't yet know you well enough to be impressed, and then press on. I usually just think she must be boring. Me? Ego? Naaaaaah....
/r/seduction11/05/12 12:55 AM
2

I need to transfer it to that. My style as of late has been "approach or you'll feel like shit later". Which does make it feel like work. I gotta do it for the lulz. I still need to internalize a lot of this stuff... i got some down, but not as much as I'd like.
/r/seduction10/05/12 01:32 PM
5

Uh oh... I have no idea what my goals are ever since I was broken up with a year(ish) ago (7 year relationship). Right now I have just been enjoying the ride. I do find myself getting bored and having no real lasting interest in any of the girls I've been with... But at the same time I'm not just pursuing sex as I've turned it down from a few girls. Shit.
/r/seduction09/05/12 05:49 PM
1

What Every Body Is Saying was helpful as far as body language goes. Otherwise, I haven't read anything about game and just use seddit as my reading material.
/r/seduction09/05/12 03:42 AM
2

Same here man. my ex who I was with for a good 7 years would get hit on, and all my friends would be telling me how hot she was. Yet, she was my gf and I didn't think too much of it. Yet I get nervous approaching girls HALF her hotness. kind of ridiculous.
/r/seduction08/05/12 07:44 PM
1

Talk to them like one of your old friends and you'll make a lot of progress This is a great way to go about it. If you just act like you've known them forever it won't matter. I know I have plenty of friends who are guaranteed to cause AA for plenty of guys, but since I'm good friends with them, I'm not phased in the slightest talking to these girls. Time to transfer that to all girls.
/r/seduction08/05/12 07:42 PM
1

Naw dude, I was just joking. I'm not really into the drug thing. Too much of an addictive personality for that.
/r/seduction08/05/12 07:40 PM
2

Hmm... I don't drink. Maybe now is a good time to start.
/r/seduction08/05/12 05:53 AM
8

I honestly don't remember. They were some big indie band... which is kind of an oxymoron.
/r/seduction08/05/12 05:27 AM
1

try isolating them sooner, small stuff like 'oh hey help me pick a song on the jukebox/get some air/grab a drink/etc.' then you get some alone time, you can escalate better. When in the heat of the moment, it is easier to skip out to bring them back.
/r/seduction07/05/12 02:36 AM
1

Yes I have after I moved into a new city without knowing anyone here after college a few years back. Things I did: Joined a local sports league, simply because I love playing. I met people through that, and this gave me my core group of friends. From there, I expanded. I go to a lot of concerts, so i started talking to people I saw regularly at shows with a simple "I see you here all the time, what's your name". Another social group formed. Recently I've been going to the same bars. Met a lot of…
/r/seduction05/05/12 04:44 PM
1

Sidebar. I'm getting more resistance than I am ever comfortable with when approaching girls. Good. Continue doing so, get out of your comfort zone.
/r/seduction03/05/12 10:48 PM
2

This isn't anything we can answer for you. What do YOU want? Are you content with just being friends or are you going to be yearning for her? Are you trying to whisk her away from her bf (each their own, personally I think there are way too many single girls out there to get caught up in that). What do YOU want to do?
/r/seduction03/05/12 10:46 PM
5

She doesn't want you to be attached or to lead you on. Consider her doing you a favor. It sounds like you want a relationship, but now you're like "wait you don't want that! I don't either now just so we can still hook up!!!" She just saved your ass from getting all oneitis-y for her. Chances are if you have feelings for her and continued to hook up, you're just going to be hurt in the long run. Go meet a girl who DOES want a relationship.
/r/seduction03/05/12 10:43 PM
1

ADD here, with lots of fidgeting. It's tough not to... few things that help me: Chewing gum. Seriously, it gives your body something mindless and active to do, which is what fidgeting essentially is. This has helped me in many ways. Talk with hands. I do this naturally and always have since I was a little kid so I don't know if it can be trained. But you're moving AND engaging others, so all that energy doesn't come off as nervous, but expressive.
/r/seduction03/05/12 06:37 AM
3

Next time try askseddit for these types of questions...
/r/seduction03/05/12 06:29 AM
4

Check the sidebar. That has a wealth of knowledge in it. First thing: being nice has nothing to do with anything. "Nice guy" is what people refer to themselves when they aren't being sexually assertive.
/r/seduction01/05/12 05:25 AM
5

Don't know why you're getting downvoted without any feedback (seems to be happening a lot with the FRs lately) Good job having the balls to invite her over, and way not to care about the outcome either.
/r/seduction30/04/12 09:05 PM
2

If I didn't give a shit, why would I be reading and practicing this stuff? If I don't want something (anything, not just sex/validation/whatever) out of a person, why am I employing techniques to... get something out of them (in most cases on seddit, sex, a number, a kiss, or whatever else)? Different stroked for different folks. You'll find a school of thought teaching techniques, and then another saying fuck that shit, work on your confidence. Depending on what you believe (there isn't a right…
/r/seduction30/04/12 09:03 PM
1

No, I have a better method than asking a guy if he's her boyfriend. Simply ask "so how do you know each other."
/r/seduction30/04/12 07:03 AM
1

No. Other people might cooperate in the deception. Even a guy who isn't a boyfriend might play along and claim to be her boyfriend, if he thinks the woman wants him to protect her from you. She might even be lying, just to see if you're an AFC who is easily discouraged by lame excuses. I agree with you to a degree, but there comes a point in my patience where if a girl is trying to tell me that she has a bf and keeps it up, I take it as either "she actually has a bf" or "she's not interested". I…
/r/seduction30/04/12 07:02 AM
4

Depends where you are. Live in Brooklyn? No you're not doing it right as you'll look like every other hipster out there. Live in a classy area? Then yes. Yes you are.
/r/seduction30/04/12 01:20 AM
2

You are right, I forgot I typed that out. Wasn't meant to be an attack but I can see where it could come off as one. Anyway, what i was implying is that some people don't like having strangers come up to them and talk, and I know that, I have friends like that. However, like I said, it all went sour the second she started showing interest in me (the guy was joking with me previously, as was the other girl), which shows there is a deeper thing going on and not just "group dynamics". I am usually …
/r/seduction29/04/12 07:00 PM
1

it's cool man. I'm not offended in the slightest bit. I thought he may have had a few points until he pulled the 'guarenteed' thing (you can't make assumptions about a person based on reading a 5 min interaction on reddit). I'm actually incredibly good at reading people, and the group was open to me until the girl started showing interest. If anything, this tells me that they are trying to set her up with someone they know, or a mutual friend has the hots for her. Either way, doesn't matter in t…
/r/seduction29/04/12 06:52 PM
5

People sitting at a bar? And you go up to them and talk to them? It's really not that shocking or crazy to talk to strangers especially in a social setting such as a bar on a saturday night. It isn't like I told them to move over, plopped a seat down and started chugging their beers. But your attitude explains it (not an insult). Some people aren't social and don't like talking to people outside their group of friends. No skin off my nose.
/r/seduction29/04/12 06:08 PM
3

I'm gonna break it down for you. Body insecurities since I've never been with a girl before (ugly scars etc). I don't feel comfortable naked. I can guarantee you majority of the girls will have even more insecurities than you. Realize that majority of times, no one gives a shit about these so called "flaws" and only you do. *Being useless in bed, why bother with me when probably 99% of the guys out there are better? I don't even know how to let her know that I'm a virgin, that alone is going to …
/r/seduction28/04/12 07:05 PM
5

I think IAmTheOmNom nailed this one, but as far as kissing goes, I think a lot of it is chemistry between two people too. There will be some girls I makeout with and it's hot, perfect, etc. And then others and it seems awkward or like I'm a horrible kisser (which I know I'm not). All depends on the two people together.
/r/seduction28/04/12 02:54 PM
5

Don't over analyze it. The movie thing is fine. She will know what is up and that is good. You are afraid to make your intentions known because you were a stereotypical nice guy and think sexualizing yourself is a bad thing. I know because I struggle with it too. Invite her for a movie. Escalate from there. If she rejects no biggy. If she comes over and gets LMR no biggy.
/r/seduction28/04/12 02:12 AM
2

Yes, I agree, however people come in here too often caught up with trying to figure out what women want, and how to make themselves what women want, trying to be the perfect guy, etc. I think it's more important to figure out what you want. Yes, know about LMR and the reasoning behind it. Yes, understand the point of shit tests and why most girls in every culture use them. But don't get so caught up trying to figure out what women want is my point. Women want a confident guy who knows what he wa…
/r/seduction28/04/12 12:11 AM
1

Yeah. You get discouraged easily (not an insult, I do the same) but 4 people are nothing. One thing you can try to do if you aren't looking for a gf is disqualify yourself. They might just be looking for fun and think you are looking for a relationship. But keep trying. 4 rejections is nothing.
/r/seduction27/04/12 11:49 PM
3

Hug game?! Oh man... Now I heard it all in seduction. That being said, if I know the girl and am not on a private date or anything like that, I usually greet by a two arm hug and kiss on the cheek. I never thought much of it until one day a girl I hooked up with told me 'I realized I was into you when you hugged and kissed me on the cheek in front of all those people. I felt like that took confidence' I still don't think it takes confidence but maybe it's because I have been doing it so long.
/r/seduction27/04/12 11:46 PM
2

not sure if it's a good move but I'd personally rub their hair right after and say, 'aw how adorable.' that should send the message. But then again, I can be an asshole sometime.
/r/seduction27/04/12 11:38 PM
3

Very shitty mission. The reason I say this is because your goals should only be of things you can control. I would change it to 'ask 7 girls for their numbers'. By not embracing the possibility of rejection, you leave yourself vulernable to dreading rejection. Also when you set metrics others control, you leave all your success to chance. Not good goal setting strategies.
/r/seduction27/04/12 11:35 PM
4

Just invite her out. If she says she can't and doesn't invite you over, leave it at that and try to schedule another week. If she invites you over cool. Def wouldn't try and be like 'so about your party...'. That would come off very needy.
/r/seduction27/04/12 11:32 PM
5

The beauty and one of the fundamental's of seduction is you don't worry about it. Every girl, just like every guy, wants something different. A lot of time people don't even know what they want. This stuff teaches you to be firm in what YOU want and seek others who want the same. You aren't trying to trick anyone, don't view girls as the other team or the enemy.
/r/seduction27/04/12 11:29 PM
1

You probably already know this, but be the first to break rapport. Or do some random shit to keep her interested. Don't let her get bored. Yeah, I think Im_a_rapist nailed it where I wasn't escalating quickly enough. That is exactly the issue. I'm just very awkward with dancing with girls... which is a shame, because I love to fucking dance.
/r/seduction27/04/12 05:32 PM
1

Slumps happen to everyone, you'll push through it. Just keep going out. This is true, it's tough to motivate yourself to get through a slump, but pushing through is the only way.
/r/seduction27/04/12 05:31 PM
5

nah man. Alcoholism runs in my genes, and I think it's safer to stay away. Also I feel like I shouldnt have to compromise my own ideals for girls
/r/seduction27/04/12 02:19 PM
1

Some girls can't handle it dude, and then they find ways to make you the enemy and think you're conspiring against them. I had a girl who I did NOTHING with, just flirt and cuddle with FREAK out at me. Walk away, don't look back. Also, relevant.
/r/seduction27/04/12 07:30 AM
1

I've never done it but I've seen this guy who is mute and deaf do it (want to talk language barrier?) He just goes all body language, super forward. The amount of women I saw him pull in the short time I was in the same city as him was unbelievable. I've never seen anyone better with women, and this guy couldn't speak or hear. Girls loved this guy. And i think the fact he didn't have language as a disability (funny how that works out), he just was all physical, physical, physical. Sure, plenty o…
/r/seduction27/04/12 07:25 AM
1

little bit of both? I essentially forced him outside of his comfort zone, and even though the girl rejected him, he was really fucking proud of himself for going up and talking to her and was beaming about it for days.
/r/seduction26/04/12 09:43 PM
2

I'm on board with this, but sometimes it's tough. I don't drink at all personally, and the amount of girls who "need an excuse to drop their inhibitions" or it's the only way they know how. I've been told by a few girls "I wish you drank with me, we could have a lot of fun". I tell them we can have the same fun sober... they just can't do it. I rationalize it by telling myself that these girls aren't worth hooking up with if they need to be drinking, but fuck man, sometimes it's incredibly tough…
/r/seduction26/04/12 09:42 PM
1

I've been part of this community for about a year and a half... most of the things I hate have already been mentioned (HB scale, NLP) but some others I haven't seen: The whole Alpha macho attitude. I understand the concept about being a confident man, but the whole "Is this alpha? Was this beta? Yeah I'm alpha as fuck" thing sort of gets ridiculous. The constant suggestions that nofap will solve all my girl problems ever. The whole "Be confident in yourself, inner game!" and then in the same sen…
/r/seduction26/04/12 09:38 PM
6

I once told my friend to let me see his wallet. He was suspicious but did it. I then took his cash and told him he wouldn't get it back unless he talked to that girl. I have never seen him open anyone so fast.
/r/seduction25/04/12 09:13 PM
1

I am not really sure what's going on in some of your scenarios but you seem like you're having a blast, so fuck yeah buddy!
/r/seduction24/04/12 11:59 PM
1

Laminate it and hang it on your wall for decoration... OR. Call / Text it and set up a date. You know, the whole reason telephone numbers exist (to call and text).
/r/seduction24/04/12 11:57 PM
2

Like any other girl. Just because she likes girls too doesn't mean anything.
/r/seduction24/04/12 03:06 AM
1

Get over yourself? I think you might be using this 'too good' excuse to rationalize fear you have (I do the same thing with AA, 'meh... I am not in the mood anyway'). It was your comment about not knowing what to do when you get one that leads me to believe this.
/r/seduction23/04/12 12:16 AM
2

I didn't know what that meant and so I looked it up and came across this article. (Gold.)[http://www.lovesystems.com/dating-advice/relationships/08-07-future-beatricide]
/r/seduction21/04/12 08:03 PM
88

But sometimes baked goods are way more important.
/r/seduction21/04/12 06:22 PM
1

Caffeine. Or if I'm completely exhausted, I won't go out for the night... But usually I will go out and just be tired as shit.
/r/seduction21/04/12 03:46 PM
1

You bring up a great point. I did start treating her like any other girl and didn't try to get with her, and then she 'suddenly' seemed to have more interest in meeting up (she's been initiating every single meet up, not me.) AFC relapse. Thought I was over the oneitis, guess I'm not. Feelsbadman.jpg
/r/seduction21/04/12 03:32 PM
4

Heh, you're right. I don't have any excuses. I've been here over a year and a half when seddit was a community of less than 10,000 and some shit I WROTE is actually in the sidebar. Actions fueled by AFC relapse, post fueled by it being past 2am, extreme lack of sleep, and that brutal realization. I didn't realize it at the time of writing but now that I slept, I see where I would be condemning the post as well. The problem is about 2 months ago (I've only seen her three time since then), I rever…
/r/seduction21/04/12 03:30 PM
2

I think there's another big factor than just preselection. When you're in a relationship, you're not giving a fuck about impressing other girls. Girls love when you're not trying to impress them.
/r/seduction21/04/12 06:14 AM
1

Us guys get high fives from our buddies, and even around here think about it ("WHOA YOU FCLOSED TWO GIRLS ONE NIGHT? AWESOME"). How many guys have to worry about their friends calling them "sluts", and having to lie about hooking up? I know what you mean and if a girl finds out a guy slept with a LOT of girls, plenty of girls would be turned off by that. However at least here in the US, it is much more socially acceptable for a guy to have many partners.
/r/seduction21/04/12 06:10 AM
2

Too many guys worry about their room impressing women. Keep it relatively neat, but I wouldn't change it to impress women. It is your room. Own it. You want to put star wars figures up? Go for it.
/r/seduction20/04/12 03:16 PM
1

Yes, more guys are quick to bang... But that is for a few reasons. Evolutionary sex is a bigger consequence for women. You have sex and there is no risk of you getting pregnant. Also society dictates rules to us too. Guys are 'players' while women get slut shamed (such bullshit double standards). Guys are taught that if we have sex then it is no biggie just fun times, sex is cheap. From a young age women are taught sex is a precious thing and they are SLUTS if they just give it to anyone.
/r/seduction20/04/12 03:11 PM
5

Glad it helped you out, but not so sure if that cured your oneitis (you putting this gal up on a pedestal still?), but hey, good for you. What you learned was we call outcome independence. It's tough to practice at times, but is seriously the key to making all aspects of life less stressful (just look at the zen buddhists).
/r/seduction20/04/12 04:45 AM
3

I was in line for the bathroom today at a bar and a cute girl was also... I got way too into my head, and was about to say something, then chickened out, and faked a yawn instead. Then I decided "fuck that shit", remembered this post and my own advice I gave, and opened THE FUCK OUT OF HER.
/r/seduction20/04/12 04:42 AM
1

Dude who gives a shit? She sounds lame as fuck... And had some LMR with you... And is probably afraid she came off as a slut (I hate that word by the way, but this is probably what is running through her head. Drop her like a bad habit... No... Like a fucking bar of pure lye.
/r/seduction18/04/12 02:33 AM
10

Then she saved you the time you would have wasted trying to get to know her. You don't want someone who thinks someone is a loser just for talking to them in your life anyway.
/r/seduction17/04/12 09:15 PM
4

See, my biggest issue is that I tend to be offensive. So I am always worried about offending new people. There are times when I stop giving a shit and that's when I do best.
/r/seduction17/04/12 09:14 PM
186

I have the same issue... but think of it this way. Who cares if it's awkward? Like, what's going to happen to you? So you had an awkward conversation with a girl, BIG DEAL. You think she remembers an awkward convo? WORST case scenario: After one of you leaves, she goes "well that was awkward", and immediately forgets about it. Don't be so god damn vain to think she will be thinking of YOUR oh so special awkward conversation all day. Guaranteed if she's a pretty girl, she has so many of them, and…
/r/seduction17/04/12 04:02 PM
1

Lot of people hate him because newbs get into this and think 'OH I NEED TO BE A GIANT ASSHOLE TO GET GIRLS' and he breaks seddit rule #1: leave them better than you found them. Then of course there's the people who hate him out of jealousy.
/r/seduction16/04/12 09:04 PM
3

Lately the whole seduction stuff hasn't been fun for me, so I know what you mean with burnout and just being tired of it all. Go out a few nights with the sole purpose of having fun and meeting new people (don't worry about trying to fuck them. Just talk to people about whatever you want). Just have a good fucking time. It's amazing how quickly your cards will fall in place when you do that.
/r/seduction16/04/12 06:22 AM
8

Surprisingly good read, but people are downvoting it for the mere fact it's tucker max. Bottom line: Outcome Independence Assume Attraction
/r/seduction16/04/12 06:18 AM
3

I could be totally off but the way I look at it is like this: Assuming you're attracted to all 3 girls (which from your description you were) and you would get with any of them alone, then why blow yourself out with the other two by picking a specific girl when you honestly have no preference at all? And it seemed to have paid off... I think you're over analyzing it a bit. Is it the most romantic thing in the world? No, but who cares. This is obviously a short time fling in a hostel.
/r/seduction13/04/12 10:35 PM
1

Dude thanks for this, this is solid gold. I've always sort of avoided Mystery's stuff because he always seemed a little too gamey for me and routine for my taste (nothing wrong with it and not knocking him, just not really my style) but apparently he has a bunch of nuggets of wisdom.
/r/seduction13/04/12 12:11 AM
8

You might be able to use this to your advatage believe it or not. A lot of girls dig mature looking guys and I have had plenty girls tell me they think gray looks more distingished and sexy. We are all dealt cards with our body that we hate, it's amazing how much no one else gives a shit about the stupid little stuff we worry about (I tend to breakout a lot. However I never notice it on other people). Relax, own it. If you are confident about it, it won't matter at all.
/r/seduction12/04/12 04:14 PM
1

yes i did put myself in the friendzone, but that is because I was in a relationship for the two years I knew her. But assume attraction is still always solid advice.
/r/seduction12/04/12 03:58 PM
1

Or I was in a relationship for the two years I knew her. Either or.
/r/seduction12/04/12 03:56 PM
3

This would probably better suited in /r/sex
/r/seduction12/04/12 06:59 AM
2

Be an asshole to girls you want, and really nice to their friends Golden. (Before people jump on the whole asshole thing... I think he means in a playful manner, and mostly not to jump through hoops for them)
/r/seduction11/04/12 04:43 AM
2

Sweet. Then I can sue their ass for a hate crime.
/r/seduction09/04/12 08:39 PM
3

TL;DR: Social game is easier than cold approaching.
/r/seduction09/04/12 02:46 AM
1

/r/askseddit in the future dude. But being in shape is healthy just all around, and will make you feel better (releases chemicals in your brain, true story). That alone should be enough motivation.
/r/seduction08/04/12 02:14 AM
7

That doesn't seem so much like a booty call as much as just a drunk text.
/r/seduction08/04/12 02:11 AM
2

Yup I agree. I went on an answering spree yesterday and a little this morning in that subreddit. But unfortunately a lot of people don't like being told what they need to hear.
/r/seduction07/04/12 09:28 PM
11

I think it was a noble effort, and for what it's worth, I'm sure we were able to help a bunch of people and have them change. That being said... it seems like /r/seduction is at a new point of low, with a lot of posts of "HOW DO I GET THIS ONE GIRL", and when we inform them you don't, we get downvoted into oblivion. People are starting to treat this as relationship_advice more than ever, and it's a shame (no hate on relationship_advice, it's great for specific girls) but seddit isn't the place f…
/r/seduction07/04/12 07:24 PM
1

Own the rep. I've been called a huge flirt too (before I even learned about this stuff). TokyoPickup put it best, but I am a huge fan of agreeing and amplifying. I probably would have said something like: "Oh yeah, you're totally right, I'm such bad news." with a sly grin.
/r/seduction07/04/12 03:03 AM
1

I really just want to be able to love myself, I'm pretty sure that's the best place for me to start This is true. I want to be able to talk to women better and have them see me as the attractive guy I am I saw a hint of confidence there. Want them to see me as the attractive guy I AM. You have it in you. Have you read the inner game stuff on the sidebar Some useful stuff in there. Oh and pst... next time this should go in /r/askseddit.
/r/seduction07/04/12 02:58 AM
2

Not sure why you're getting downvoted by people. Honest mistake, we all make them.
/r/seduction06/04/12 02:22 PM
4

yeah, fair enough... but an hour after sex? I think even a rational girl may flip out at that one... You probably would have gotten a similar reaction from any girl. The reason why: By ending it an hour after sex, you essentially made her feel cheap. Like you got the sex, and now you're done and want nothing to do with her. In her eyes, you might as well paid her. I'm not blaming you for cutting it off (the last thing you need is a crazy girl), but even crazy girls have feelings.
/r/seduction06/04/12 05:50 AM
3

If you can be the not-drunk guy who's able to make her laugh, and if you can flirt without going into "you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen" territory, you're ahead of 95% of the guys there. If you can make your conversations fun and exciting and above mere "hitting on her", get some genuine sexual tension without cheesy lines, that's good too. This seems to be sound advice regarding all women.
/r/seduction06/04/12 03:59 AM
83

Lot of guys have trouble but never do anything about it, just the occasional hookup and then falling in love with the first girl who shows interest. You're right, plenty of people have no problem at all... They may already have confidence and don't need anything else. 95% of picking girls up is straight up balls. Some people feel more at ease around women than others. People with older sisters for example have been scientifically shown to be better with the opposite sex than those without. The d…
/r/seduction30/03/12 05:03 PM
2

yeah and to be completely honest, it was my last night in town and wanted to hang with the people I made friends with who I may never see again instead of worrying about hooking up and all that jazz.
/r/seduction30/03/12 02:18 PM
3

she was on the hostel computer so she responded to me, letting me know or not. It wasn't completely random and I legit wanted to know if it was working or not, as it wasn't for me... But it gave me an excuse to talk to her.
/r/seduction30/03/12 02:16 PM
1

Good call. I think it's the combination of being out solo AND in a different culture (as if being out solo isn't tough enough). I'm trying to take advantage of it though, forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone (and going out solo in a somewhat sketchy area to try and talk to people who may or not understand a word I'm saying is DEFINITELY outside my comfort zone). Also, any idea as to why I'd be getting downvoted for this post? I know the content isn't that exciting but some feedback as t…
/r/seduction21/03/12 10:06 PM
1

Thanks bud, I think being from the US might have something to do with it, as the second I tell someone from Europe they immediately dismiss me. There are two cute girls next to me now, I'll try talking to them.
/r/seduction21/03/12 10:02 PM
1

girls chase if you're doing it right.
/r/seduction16/03/12 03:43 AM
3

I love being skinny. I got shit for it my entire life, and while I was insecure in a lot of things, being skinny was never one of them. I've had girls call me out for being too thin... while in my bed hooking up with them. In a country (assuming you live in the USA) where obesity is everywhere and people pay crazy amounts for diets, pills, anything to avoid exercise and eating healthy, I'll revel in my underweight ways. The point is, if you act confident about it, it won't fucking matter. If onl…
/r/seduction16/03/12 03:41 AM
1

I've actually done the picture of myself one, it works really well. I'll photobomb everyone next time haha. I usually do, I just was feeling a little off that night.
/r/seduction15/03/12 04:36 PM
17

This is one of the toughest things I've been trying to work through. It first started as apathy, then after not approaching for a while, turned back into anxiety... such a pain in the ass. The only way to get over it is to still approach. Remember why you're in this, and that's probably to have fun. Keep that in mind when you go out.
/r/seduction14/03/12 10:53 PM
2

So I've been in a weird state of meh lately... I found myself unsatisfied with the girls in my life and having a strange case of approach apathy... I'm going to write another more theoretical post about how I went about fixing that problem. Keep an eye out for it. I look forward to this. I feel like I've been in a very similar state as of late.
/r/seduction14/03/12 09:48 PM
1

People make kissing a bigger deal than it is. Before I started learning about this stuff, I thought kissing was some huge deal. Two nights ago I made out with a girl friend of mine (no strings or anything) because why the hell not? I've talked to some girls about this, some told me they make out with anyone. However I will say you are getting better at this because really all this shit takes is balls.
/r/seduction13/03/12 02:32 AM
33

Not weird at all to get a dude's number. Just be like "yo you seem like a cool dude, we should hang sometime. Grab a beer, hit on girls, etc." Or you can make a bicep flyer like they did on Always Sunny...
/r/seduction10/03/12 06:51 PM
1

I try to avoid too much theory and read more of the 'stop being a douche and go approach' before going out
/r/seduction10/03/12 01:41 AM
1

Shit happens. Luckily there's a crap load of girls for you to approach.
/r/seduction07/03/12 04:43 AM
3

A lot of married women love flirting. They miss the chase, and will flirt all night. Trust me I'm a doctor.
/r/seduction07/03/12 04:36 AM
1

By no means am I a PUA, but I'd advise against this. Not all, but I know for a fact many girls (and guys) get completely thrown off and in defensive mode when someone approaches their car and they're in it.
/r/seduction07/03/12 04:35 AM
3

situational confidence. Right now you are playing the role that you assigned yourself to that group. It's tough to break roles like that (I struggle with it too from time to time, although bit different situation) If they are true friends, it won't matter much to them. Friends see friends change so many times over the years and if they call you out just roll with it. Right now though the problem is in your head and you need to accept your new self.
/r/seduction25/02/12 12:04 AM
37

"I've never even held hands with a girl before! Make a sad face, grab her hand "oh my god this is like 3rd base right?!"
/r/seduction23/02/12 04:30 AM
3

Every girl who ever said this to me I hooked up with. A simple That's cool, or anything else to dismiss it does fine as long as you continue to escalate. Once while even in my bed. 'Just because my pants are off doesn't mean I'm trying to hook up, I am just getting comfortable'. Riiiiight.
/r/seduction22/02/12 04:00 PM
3

The trick is realize you fucked up, not dwell on it, and move on. We're human, and we're gonna slip up a few times.
/r/seduction22/02/12 03:50 PM
1

I've been in the same slump and have been trying to get out... Few things to consider: Lack of motivation/slump may be caused by fear. Do you still get AA? If not, just to prove you can do it, go up to the next hot girl you see... If you get nervous, it may be fear related. Run through the motions. RSD talks about this. If you're out of state, acknowledge it, and go talk anyway, even out of state. Take a break. You may be experiencing burnout. I know when I go out I put way too much pressure on …
/r/seduction21/02/12 08:05 PM
1

Because you're overthinking it. Seriously... you really are. its easier for a girl and boy to be uncomfortable together than 2 boys. You're in your head worrying about it. If your intentions are to truly be friends with them, you won't be worrying about it and would treat them no differently than a guy. Are you sure you aren't trying to become friends, then hoping it leads to "something more?" If that's the case, the friend route is a HORRIBLE way to go. ts hard for me though because I'm not sur…
/r/seduction18/02/12 04:08 AM
5

You're doing it wrong. You're looking at women as LESS than you if that is the case. When you meet another dude, I'm assuming you just talk to him right? No bullshit, no judging... just talking... can't the same be done for women? Equals. not better. not worse.
/r/seduction18/02/12 04:02 AM
10

I can only connect with someone if they are smart, independent and unique minded like me (same values). Its a shame most of the girls I come across are generic and gossipy. You're judging too soon. Sure, there are a lot of gossipy girls out there, but you are judging them on ONE aspect of them, and it's in a group setting. The girl can easily think "oh, this guy, all he does is say hi and nothing else... what a generic, boring guy" but there is obviously more to you than that. Don't be so quick …
/r/seduction18/02/12 02:35 AM
7

I don't do any of the things you mentioned as well (tv, movies, etc) and I have countless female friends. If you are truely looking for friends and not dates, the way you become friends is connecting with women. Women love to connect much more than most guys. If you are looking for friends as opposed to dating, get into heavier stuff. Dreams, aspirations, fears, relationships, their past, etc. This is how you go to hooking female friends. Also, if you are trying to meet people in general it neve…
/r/seduction18/02/12 01:01 AM
2

story of my life. I was just listening to something from RSD on this today. Everyone is great with girls they don't give a fuck about. While I need to practice what I preach, the trick is to realize that they are no better than you. You are trying to entertain them, hoping to continue the conversation by teasing. You(and me) have to go talk to girls and not give a shit if they walk off or anything. So they're pretty. Big deal. Looks fade, and deep down they have their insecurities, flaws, etc. L…
/r/seduction18/02/12 12:52 AM
9

Girls love when you say sure, then order them a water. Seriously though, when a girl tells me to buy them a drink, I usually tell them 'I only do that on dates.' They either huff off, tell me to fuck off, or stick around really interested. It's a great filter to see who is actually into you. The only time I have ever bought a girl a drink when first meeting them is if I have been talking to them a while and I offer i because we're vibing. It usually is followed with 'Thanks! I'll get the next on…
/r/seduction18/02/12 12:48 AM
1

Your funny story turned morbid VERY QUICKLY. Sorry about your brother.
/r/seduction16/02/12 10:43 PM
1

Are you afraid and using unmotivation as an excuse? I do that a lot. Are you burnt out? Take a little break. Tonight for example, I decided I didn't want to try to hit on any girls at all, I wasn't in the mood. I know people say always be gaming but its ok to chill once in a while.
/r/seduction12/02/12 07:53 AM
4

Things getting philosophical on seddit, I like it. I could, on the flipside, actually start a business, become a successful man, net me all sorts of wild and crazy fame, and live a life that is overall more successful and exciting. I understand what you're saying, but it looks like you're using society views of success as opposed to an individual's. For example, if it was your goal to smoke more weed you know or to be baked all the time, then yeah, in my view you're setting the bar low and squan…
/r/seduction10/02/12 08:42 PM
2

Yeah, exactly. It's amazing too when you're on the other side of the coin, and you need to cancel and a girl gets all upset/needy about it. It makes you not want to hang out with them. You learn so much when roles are reversed and you see what many girls go through. In my case, if a girl cancels, I usually try to make sure I have something lined up for the night in case plans fall through. This makes me not care if a girl flakes.
/r/seduction10/02/12 06:56 PM
1

This is a great point. I don't know what my issue is quite honestly... I dismiss ALL girls too quickly.
/r/seduction09/02/12 10:45 PM
3

good call. i'll be upfront with her from the start.
/r/seduction08/02/12 09:34 PM
6

yeah i don't see how anyone could possibly remember something like this. fuck i might print this out and go up to a girl using it. "hold on, let me check what this says". should get a laugh or two at least. "NO STOP FLIRTING WITH ME SO HARD YOU'RE SKIPPING A STEP!!!"
/r/seduction02/02/12 04:33 PM
1

"Just 'cause she dances go-go It don't make her a ho, no" Call. Ask her out on a date. I wouldn't expect too much off the bat (but then again, you should go in with this attitude with all dates/outcome independent). Worst case scenario she is trying to keep you as a client or something... but at least you'll get an interesting story out of it.
/r/seduction01/02/12 04:23 AM
7

Grass is always greener. I had a friend do this... All he wanted was his gf back. I am not saying stay with the girl, but you desire the single life however you may wind up missing her and the benefits of a relationship. Only you know the right answer.
/r/seduction30/01/12 12:34 AM
7

not meant to take a stab at the subreddit itself. I'm referring to the people here on seddit I see in almost every thread who state "if you stop masturbating your hormones will take control and you'll pick up girls naturally, so no fapping". Sure that works for some (I tried it), but it doesn't work for me and made me more anxious. I was sharing my experiences.
/r/seduction29/01/12 04:08 PM
5

nah not trolling. Just see a lot of advice about not masturbating for a while will help you with girls, but in my case it just makes me more nervous.
/r/seduction29/01/12 02:52 PM
5

I always text shortly after simply stating 'it was nice to meet you' my name, and a little inside joke. I sent the text and I got a bounce back that the message couldn't be received. It makes sense too, she asked me what I was up to afterwards (she was looking to hookup) but I was busy and had plans already, so she got a bit avoidant afterwards.
/r/seduction29/01/12 02:50 PM
7

there is, however the issue is also 90% of the posts are often "THIS GIRL WON'T LIKE ME HOW DO I WIN HER??? SHE'S THE MOST SPECIAL GIRL IN THE WHOLE WORLD!" -allowed to make fun, because I've been there.
/r/seduction28/01/12 04:29 PM
3

exactly. everyone here is at different levels socially. Someone who is a natural with girls in general will look at game and say "this just looks like normal interaction between guys and girls"
/r/seduction28/01/12 01:03 AM
1

I don't drink and have often been tempted to to start so i don't second guess myself, girls are more at ease (tell a girl you don't drink and suddenly they tense up around you). But there has been cases of alcoholism in my family (although my siblings are fine drinking), but I am terrified to risk it and while its tempting to drink, I haven't let that shit touch my lips.
/r/seduction27/01/12 04:42 PM
6

haters gonna hate.
/r/seduction27/01/12 01:24 AM
2

My friend met his wife at the gym.
/r/seduction27/01/12 01:16 AM
2

and my most important decorating tip: do what you want with your room. I had a poster that I was worried would come off nerdy, but then I realized it's MY room and I'm the one who will be spending the most time in there. Besides, if you have a girl in your room... if you have a candle or two out isn't going to make or break it.
/r/seduction26/01/12 06:30 AM
3

and while none of the are sexual, they all have some sexuality to them Can you please provide an example?
/r/seduction26/01/12 06:26 AM
4

2 words: altoid tins.
/r/seduction26/01/12 06:26 AM
2

Me too. I make them warm my hands up.
/r/seduction25/01/12 04:37 AM
25

Are we reading the same subreddit? I don't know what you're looking at, but quite honestly most of the stuff I read here says "be the best version of yourself that you can be, and don't be afraid of women" Every once in a while I'll come across something that says some crap about negging, etc. and just disregard it, because it's not my style. You know how I got a girl's number the other day? I went up to her and said "hi! How are you?" But hey, if you want to just assume everyone here is some al…
/r/seduction17/01/12 07:57 PM
2

It's been said already but I'll just emphasize... you're looking at it wrong. My guess is you're NOT looking at women as equals, but as betters. Otherwise you would have NO issue going up to a woman and saying "hi, how are you, let's hang out". But instead, you're putting these women ahead of you which is why you're having issues. Everyone is going to have a different view. Personally I don't use any of the routines, negging, etc that I'm guessing you have a negative outlook on. I mostly came he…
/r/seduction17/01/12 07:54 PM
25

I once brought a girl back to my house... she seemed like she wanted to bang, until she saw my NES... then winning Dr. Mario was of utmost priority. Nerd girls don't always rule.
/r/seduction16/01/12 07:10 AM
4

He never gave the specifics as to why he is being disliked. I had to speculate as to what he's doing. Hence my first advice was to try and calibrate and gauge responses better. To me, it seemed like he is afraid to open his mouth at all because he wants to be liked by everyone and is very afraid of being disliked. My point with that statement is NO ONE is going to get everyone to like them. No matter who you are, someone, somewhere WILL DISLIKE you. There is a huge difference between being a hug…
/r/seduction15/01/12 08:22 PM
8

There is a difference in being outgoing and being a dick. I am not saying you are the latter, but if your jokes are killing the vibe my guess is you are appearing like you are trying too hard, you have trouble calibrating, or the people you are with seriously need to lighten up. Now that said, anytime you have a stronger personality you are going to get stronger reactions both good and bad. The trick is to realize that it does not matter if random people like you or not. So what if they dislike …
/r/seduction15/01/12 04:50 PM
1

i see what you did there
/r/seduction15/01/12 01:23 AM
1

nope. Come too quickly.
/r/seduction14/01/12 07:07 PM
1

damn. I have the opposite problem... (PE), but I'm working on that. Besides timed solo sessions, does anyone have any advice? And no, nofap would be the complete opposite of what would help in this situation. I tried.
/r/seduction14/01/12 12:58 AM
2

Good list. The one about making excuses about why you don't get girls is right on.
/r/seduction13/01/12 10:22 PM
6

I think this is the wrong message for sure. If you're going around knocking people down for no reason because "you're a dick" like tucker max or some shit, it's really showing that you actually lack confidence. People who tear others down for no reason at all usually do so as an ego boost for themselves. That being said, act through your intentions. I'm an incredibly sarcastic guy, and I love sarcasm. I pull it off and for the most part, 90% of people get my humor and respond back, although 10% …
/r/seduction13/01/12 10:12 PM
1

working out definitely because of endorphins it releases. Clothes could be a boost in confidence but then often guys make the mistake of not approaching because they aren't their best dressed. I am not saying dress like a slob, but I am saying that you don't need to be a member of malefashionadvice to pick up girls.
/r/seduction13/01/12 05:10 PM
2

Right idea, but you are placing too much importance on the dressing well part. You could make a lasting impression without dressing stereotypically well (trust me, people seem to recognise me a lot of places, and it is usually more because of my actions than dress). I just don't want you to try to find success in clothes when it comes from within. Now if you like the clothes and it gives you a boost confidence by all means go for it, but it isn't crucial.
/r/seduction13/01/12 05:04 PM
9

It's very relevant. Many people condemn for saying your intention is casual sex instead of looking for a relationship, usually with the reason being that 'no strings sex deceives the girl'. White knights think they are being chivarous when really, they are being sexist.
/r/seduction13/01/12 08:10 AM
14

People who condemn casual sex for the sake of women are being sexist, plain and simple. Women can handle themselves and stating no strings attatched sex harms them is the type of shit that should have been killed off after the sexual revolution. It is truly a shame that such 'slut shaming' still exists in this day and age. If it didn't there wouldn't be LMR or girls not acting on their intents.
/r/seduction13/01/12 08:00 AM
1

I used to go out alone more, I need to get back into that... it's uncomfortable, but the trick is to just find random people and start chatting with them. I've made a lot of friends doing this.
/r/seduction12/01/12 04:38 AM
1

"I Don't Give A Damn About My Reputation" - Joan Jett Seriously though, I don't really do direct much (I see the benefits of it) but maybe try a more indirect approach at first if you're concerned?
/r/seduction12/01/12 04:35 AM
1

I also disagree. In fact, assuming I don't do it RIGHT before going out or something, I think it may actually increase my motivation to approach, because otherwise when I stop for too long, I get completely outcome dependent and all in my head.
/r/seduction12/01/12 04:33 AM
2

go fuck ten other women... aka go meet more women and not get caught up by one who is either not reciprocating feelings/treating you badly/or any other reason it would be a negative influence on your life.
/r/seduction11/01/12 11:22 PM
2

how did you cut her out? Did you go the simply too busy route? Did you say something to her and confront it?
/r/seduction11/01/12 03:32 PM
3

I never saw it as value taking, but now I realize that it is. I have to remind myself this when I hear from her.
/r/seduction11/01/12 03:31 PM
2

You need to cut off communication with the oneitis girl. Then you're golden. I couldn't agree with you more. She's been nothing but a tease to every guy she encounters (including this guy tonight, I actually know him and he's complained about her to me before). It's so much easier said than done, because you want to believe she wants to hang out with you, and maybe just this one time, it'll work. Of course, it never does... but I'll say this... seeing her flirt with others is a HUGE motivator fo…
/r/seduction11/01/12 09:10 AM
3

assume attraction This right here will solve 95% of people's issues with women. I'm at fault for often forgetting this, and need to get it tattooed to myself. I'll often be talking to a girl, then have to remind myself "oh yeah. I'm fucking awesome... of course she wants to do me."
/r/seduction11/01/12 08:46 AM
7

AA is tough man, I suffer with it too... really, you just have to make yourself numb to rejection, and even harder for me...make yourself numb to awkwardness. You need to really ask yourself "what exactly am I so afraid of?" Is it rejection? Is it not knowing what to say? The only way I can approach multiple women is when I'm out of my head and not thinking about it. If you see a girl you want to approach, DON'T FUCKING HESITATE! The second you hesitate, the harder it is for you. Just do it... s…
/r/seduction11/01/12 08:43 AM
2

Been having the same problem but think this out: why do you get so bored meeting people? It seems like you aren't busting through their facade (whick most people have). Everyone has an interesting story but most try to hide their true self as much as possible.
/r/seduction09/01/12 06:51 AM
1

it's been a little tough. I don't know if it's a small bout of depression or what, but it's almost as if my will to meet girls is gone. Like I almost don't even want to be bothered anymore (and it's not because I'm bitter towards girls or any lame ass foreveralone shit like that). A lot of my own hobbies, even hanging out with friends... like I don't really feel like it lately, and when I usually be the guy who is rallying up everyone to go out on weeknight (and would multiple times in a week), …
/r/seduction09/01/12 05:59 AM
0

Good read. Although how do you balance not seeming interested with esclating? They seem to be at odds
/r/seduction07/01/12 05:29 PM
1

Not very.
/r/seduction04/01/12 05:58 AM
1

yeah, it happens. This bar was chock full of too cool for school people who were too cool to celebrate new years. I kept hearing everyone say "I don't see what the fuck the big deal is, it means nothing... blah blah blah". Kill joys.
/r/seduction04/01/12 05:58 AM
1

1.went up to girl and say hey, her friend grabs my hat and throws it across the bar. Talk to girl for a while once, then out of nowhere she starts screaming at me. Dodged a crazy bullet there. 3 cannot post link because i am on phone but read my latest FR. 8 fuck yous in one night.
/r/seduction04/01/12 03:23 AM
2

fuck. I am phase 4ing so hard past few months.
/r/seduction02/01/12 05:03 PM
1

dont feed the troll dude.
/r/seduction01/01/12 11:51 PM
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