I went out with this girl the other night, we've known each other for about a year and at first we started dating but then things just sort of fizzled out. I had oneitis for her for a while, but then I stopped it and just didn't give a shit anymore and became friends.

Anyways, I was talking to her tonight, and she was explaining about how "nice guys" (no I don't believe in the whole nice guy thing btw) are just ...nice and you can't like them. Then I realized, in the past she would always say stuff like "you're too nice". It all clicked as to why she didn't dig me like that now, I was acting way too much of an AFC for her back when I first met her.

How I Responded

I don't know if this worked or not, probably not... but instead of getting all bent out of shape about those dreaded words, I just laughed and said "God I wish every girl agreed with you about me being nice, I have a list of people you need to talk to and tell". Her interest piqued "wait... people think you're an asshole? not possible."

Where I Could Have Recovered But Fucked Up

I should have left it at that as she wanted stories and kept a little mystery about it, but instead I told her said stories. She seemed entertained, but I feel like it was a bad idea to tell her. Eventually she left my car (I was dropping her off), and I went to say goodbye, but I sort of got cheeked. (I have made out with her in the past but it was very random moments.

Any Chance Of Recovery?

I'm trying not to care too much, but is there anyway to reverse the whole perception of being a "nice guy?" It's funny, because I am often assertive with women, but I feel like I friendzoned myself so bad with this one from the past(although again, we have made out and she's very touchy around me sometimes).

For a long time I just thought she didn't hook up because I made a bunch of advances, but I learned THAT'S not the case at all through her friends (she hooks up with dudes ALL. THE. TIME.)

So, any recovery? In the meantime I've been trying to find other girls as well (although I've been in a little slump the past few weeks). Also I know this is bad but I feel like going out NOW and hitting on girls, and it's completely for validation. I recognize this though, and the bars are closed... (first step is admitting you have a problem).