Oneitis is easy. No, I don't mean the emotional toll it takes on a man... I mean it's the incredibly easy way out of doing things. We've all been there at some point in our lives, and sometimes revisit (shit, I've been dealing with it too as of late). It's been making me think about the true causes of oneitis, and I firmly think it's because it is seriously the easiest option.

Scarcity

We all know that oneitis is caused by a scarcity mindset, and that in order to get over it, one really needs be living in an abundance mindset. For those who haven't, read MaysonNSS's post on Scarcity vs Abundance

Now, it seems much easier to seek the attention from a girl who is showing you bits and pieces of attention, or you are just friends with than going up and cold approaching because you are already familiar with this girl. You don't want to leave your comfort zone so you stay in this purgatory of friend zone AFC frustration, instead of going up and talking to some new girls. Open 3 girls a DAY, and see if you are still all about this one after a month.

Ego Based Oneitis

This is something I never really heard talked about on here, but I honestly thinks is the stem of my oneitis... is ego based oneitis. Looking back, I know I fucked up with this girl, so she friendzoned me. I wasn't aggressive enough, and when I was, she did eventually reject me but throwing mad mixed signals. I know that she hooked up with guys (hell, I even know guys who hooked up with her) and I had my chance, but I blew it.

I am having a hard time getting over this, and I feel like if I slept with her once, I'd be good to go. Guess what? That's pure ego talking. I'm mad that I missed out on the opportunity, and beat myself up over it. Furthermore, I can't stand the fact that it seems like every other guy has been successful with her.

This is ego rearing it's ugly head, and could also be the source of oneitis. Instead of treating her like a human, you are using her as some sort of notch in the bedpost type deal, making them the prize as your ego has been hurt.

It's a shitty place to be, and I like to compare it to chasing losses in gambling. Sometimes things don't fall into your favor, but you're just SURE if you have one more chance you can win the hand. So you invest more, and you keep digging yourself deeper and deeper. It comes to the point where she's just a reminder of your failures.

You just need to accept the fact that you messed up, and move on. Try to take it as a learning experience. I realize this is easier said than done (I'm still struggling with it), but you have to accept the fact that slipping up is part of the growing process.

Leave The Comfort Zone

The only way to get rid of oneitis is to leave your comfort zone. if you acknowledge the fact that you are irrationally putting this girl on a pedestal, or admit that it was your ego that was hurt (this is not an easy thing to admit by the way) you're already a step ahead of many.

Go out and talk to women, even if this means you need to go out solo. There are many girls out there dying to meet you, you just need to go find them. Don't deprive them of this while you sit around pining for one girl who doesn't see you the same way.