I am just breaking into the whole seddit community after years of lurking and trying little bits of self improvement and social skills development (some from the PUA community, some not). I have a couple of questions:
The primary advice given here is not to give a shit and to not do things to get some sort of reaction or feeling out of another person. If I didn't give a shit, why would I be reading and practicing this stuff? If I don't want something (anything, not just sex/validation/whatever) out of a person, why am I employing techniques to... get something out of them (in most cases on seddit, sex, a number, a kiss, or whatever else)? The truth of the matter is that I do give a shit. None of you would be here if you didn't give a shit either.
I also find that when I don't give a shit on a particular occasion, I end up doing and saying things that turn people off. How can I simultaneously not give a shit about what people think while avoiding doing things that turn people off?
There also seems to be contradictory advice about inner game. I have been known to have a bit of an ego, and in general I think that I'm a fucking bad-ass. I do all of the things that I want and have all of the qualities that I have always admired. Yet a lot of people try and tell me to lower my standards (which, to be honest, are extremely fair: roughly as physically attractive as me, roughly as intelligent as me, generally not a shitty person). How do I maintain self confidence while admitting to myself that I'm looking outside of my 'league'?
I appreciate all advice, and hope that some people who have the same questions can find something useful from the answers.
EDIT: Thanks for all of the replies! I think I'm failing to make a distinction between the way I see myself, and the way I want other people to see me. I'm going to try focusing on the former.
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