Just a simple question. I've dealt with low self-esteem and confidence since middle school. Before middle school, I had no problems approaching anyone or standing up for myself but due to so much negative feedback from other people during most of my childhood, I've found it hard to even relax around close friends for fear they would drop me at any moment. It's gotten to the point that I'm even sensitive to people keeping a straight face when I try to joke around, so then I get in my head and say nothing else for the rest of the night. I'm 19, by the way.

How do I deal with this and learn to relax?