I've been hanging out with my friend Paul a lot lately. He's great with women, has a ton of good friends, never makes a situation awkward, and cares about the people around him.

He's a funny down to earth guy who always leads the conversations, has great vocal projection, and always knows what the next course of action is. If there's something fun going on in the city, he knows about it.

One difference I noticed between him and me is that he makes himself super vulnerable and isn't afraid of silence. If someone says something, he isn't afraid to ignore it. On the other hand, I feel like I'm overly attuned to what people around me say.

For instance, if someone starts complaining for the sake of complaining, Paul will ignore it and continue doing whatever he was doing. In contrast, I'll feel inclined to agree with the person or find some other way to make them felt heard at all times. It's neurotic and makes me get lost in my head, thinking of what to say.

Another thing I noticed is that if Paul says something that doesn't get a response, he owns the silence. For example, we're watching Archer on Netflix and he'll make a comment about the show. If I don't reply back, he's forgotten about it within ten seconds and his focus is back on the show, and he's laughing and having a good time.

For him, it's easy to take a breath and move on. Personally, I just get stuck in my head and for some reason my breathing stops as well. Then I tense up and go into fight or flight mode.

If that happened to me, I would get insecure and assume that what I had to say was worthless or stupid, and I'll go into my head, trying to think of something clever to say to redeem myself.

Are these psychological problems? How can they be worked on? I've had years of therapy, but I've been in a rut for awhile now. Being around my friends helps me with my confidence and self-esteem a lot, but I want to make it rock solid.