How do I think about what to talk about with somebody or with women?

I don't have anything interesting to talk about because I live in a medium size town and there is no clubs or anything to do and I am only 19 so I cant go to bars and I also feel like I have short term memory. I only go to school, work, gym and do some hobbies. I think the best tip I ever received about conversation is not to think about what to say because it will help you not filter what to say or something and I think it helps but sometimes its very hard to do. Is there any tips on how to keep conversation going or what to talk about with girls because I feel like with women if its not something interesting then women will not enjoy the conversation and if I feel like the conversation didn't go well then I get pretty upset and I think about what I could of said or done better. I feel like I can talk about a lot of random stuff like video games or stuff I watch on youtube etc but I feel like I need to filter what I say to make it interesting or make it appropriate.

Maybe any good books to read about conversations?

[–]BigSnips 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ls737100 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What this guy said! I've got 30 years on you and a lifetime of experience, but ironically I find most people really just want to talk about themselves and their stuff.

One thing is to find logical tangents from what someone says. So for instance at some point, I might say, I learned to sail in the British virgin islands. From that sentence alone, you can go into sailing, in fact you can say, id love to learn to sail and ask what it was like or what is recommend, you can say you've never been to the carribean, what did I think of the bvi. So, you just ask a follow on question. I think the key though is don't just ask a question to keep me talking. As a question you genuinely want to know.

Next, find something you are really interested in. A type of music, an art style, a writer, a language, topic doesn't matter so much as long as it's something you are really into. But once you pick one, go learn more about than anyone else. Once you've done that, then often you can segue the discussion into something you are passionate about that you know a lot about. But even then, talk about it a bit, show your excitement but switch the convo back to them.

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