How do you build confidence?

chronosthetitan · 2018-11-25T05:28:45+00:00

Are you on the autism spectrum? Eye contact problems are associated with that.

ripgd · 2018-11-25T13:19:41+00:00

I read this as two different things, neither directly confidence based.

1: overthinking, you say you can’t focus on their eyes and think what you’re going to say next

2: implied - you don’t find it natural holding eye contact.

Neither are directly confidence based, but habit based. The hardest part you need to overcome is the idea that you need to “think” what to say next. That is the most unhealthy way to view a conversation and where it goes wrong. The key is being “in” the conversation, listening to what they have to say, then only when they finish, react and comment- not mid sentence start developing your response. (Few are perfect at this).

Couple of suggestions although I don’t speak from experience (just a confident sales person who has no trouble retaining eye contact and listening). Go watch some public speaking events in person, sit yourself in the front, and lock on locking on to the speakers eyes for the entire duration. You need to form a new habit of looking at this section if the face, and nowhere else ideally.

Once you feel this is more natural, while holding this position play an improv game with yourself, which is you have to start your sentence with a word that starts with either the first or last letter from the last word at the end of the speakers statement/question. This alone will force you to listen more actively and stop you thinking “what do I say next”, as you can’t think that until you’ve heard the final word. This works with anything by the way, ie someone on tv (just hit pause when they finish a sentence).

Confidence is self belief/trust, it’s build from proving to yourself you can overcome issues- just like these.

Title	How do you build confidence?
Author	Zweitaccount
Upvotes	1
Comments	4
Date	November 25, 2018 5:08 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/a05ugt/how_do_you_build_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-build-confidence.1457347 https://theredarchive.com/post/1457347

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