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[–]guyatlas 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Leave texting to a minimum
Example: Sexy lady: hey what you doing? You: hey! What's up! Doing great... Working out 💪🏻 Sexy lady: oh nice! I won't keep you. You: no worries. What are you up to Friday? Sexy lady: I have plans with my girlfriends, but Saturday I'm free. You: Cool, How does 7pm sound? I'll pick you up? Sexy lady: yeah that can work You: wear something sexy. 😉 See you Saturday night!
Done, don't text again, pick her up and talk about life in person! If she texts back are we still on , just say of course, looking forward to it. Don't get wrapped up in a long texting conversation. Let her wonder about you.
You can add a little more you into this but of course it's just a framework that does work.
[–]Rawr_I_am_a_Beer 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do all your texts start with "hey, what are you doing?"
Because the problem I see with that is it's too generic and if I say that every time it seems shitty. I can do what you recommended, but doing that all the time, they're going to lose interest. It's having convos between dates to keep her interest that I have problems with. Starting those. We've already been on 2 dates...
[–]Tontobutt 10 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Side bar - Text game 2.
[–]Rawr_I_am_a_Beer 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
Which answers literally none of my questions. Doesn't say how often to text, or give any examples. Like do I just treat her as a personal twitter feed (for interesting things obviously)?
[–]Tontobutt 10 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
If you're unsure, as a general rule, text her the same amount or less than she texts you. That goes for both timing between replies and the length of texts. Mirror her language and emojis use (eg with emojis - if she never uses them, don't either, if she uses them occasionally, you use them occasionally, if she uses them all the freakin time, get creative and have them form part of your texts). Don't be boring, don't be needy. Treat it like a conversation with a friend (statements are fine replies, don't always feel like you need to ask her questions).
After a third date things should be fun and light, you should be sharing personal jokes and making call backs to things that happened or were discussed on the dates. Playful teasing is fine but be careful because it can come across the wrong way over text. Every single one of your texts should be concise and add value to her day. If I were you I would keep it to a minimum since you are "not the best texter" and just set up the next date as quickly as possible.
If you're doing well on the dates and have set future plans, it is totally okay that you're not texting her much, as long as you are replying to her and not being rude or short with her... You'll find more success by texting not enough than too much, so it's always best to play it safe.
[–]Rawr_I_am_a_Beer 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thanks.
The problem is that she never texts first. In person, all the signs are there that she's into me, when we ran into each other we laughed about bits of our previous two dates, laughing at my horrible jokes, her texts she uses emojis, etc, but I always have to initiate the convo. This is where the problem lies. It's possible that she's just too nervous to text first, and there's a few signs with this.
I'm awesome at flirting in person (kino, teasing, going for a kiss, etc), but my texting is shit. It's not necessarily the texting itself, just how to start them. I may be wrong in this, but I try not to send "good morning"-type texts too often because it lacks originality. All I usually go on is things they said since last time we met (usually the next day) and good morning texts.
Edit: If you can help me with this, I would be seriously grateful. Because there's jack shit on the internet, at least from what I could find.
[–]Tontobutt 10 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I never send "good morning" texts, so I agree with you there.
It's early stages and it's okay if you aren't texting much at the moment - if things continue to go well it can build up to that as she gets less nervous about texting you first and as you get a better feel for her communication style/frequency.
My advice is to set up that next date right now, if she says yes, feel free to text her once or twice between now and then (since she obviously likes you after agreeing to see you again).
I'll let you know where my head is at during this stage - lets say today is Tuesday and I've made plans to see her on Saturday night. I would probably not text her until Saturday and then just confirm the pickup or meeting time so she knows its still on or make a comment or joke about how excited I am for the night... It's okay not to be constantly in touch... If she contacted me I would totally and positively respond!... or if I thought of something funny or relevant to share with her based on what I know about her, maybe I would have a short text conversation on Thursday or Friday. Eg. the girl I've made plans with at the moment loves GoT, so I sent her a photo of the GoT viewing party I had at my house the other day with a text saying "When too many people show up to watch the Game of Thrones finale and I have no where to sit :'(". That did two things, it shows that I have a fun social life, and it prompted her to respond with a discussion about that nights episode... Or if she likes cooking or we had discussed it I would have maybe sent her a photo of a creative new dish I tried to cook for me and my friends and that would be a fun convo starter... Reaction gifs are also fun to include in a story your sharing. Share your fun and exciting life with her. I never NEVER text her with "Hey, how was your day/week/night?" or "Hey whats up?"...
It's fine for you to text first as long as she is responsive and shows interest/enthusiasm, as long as you aren't dominating/carrying the conversation once it has been started. It's also okay for your to gradually build a relationship, don't read too much into infrequent texts, if your hanging out frequently and being sexual then its all good.
[–]Rawr_I_am_a_Beer 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks. You've helped a lot. I was needed tips on getting convos going. I completely agree with not texting
"Hey, how was your day/week/night?" or "Hey whats up?"
[–]guyatlas 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
To add just initiate, the text about setting the date then.
Dinner And drinks Saturday, with yours truly 😎? Sounds fun. Pick you up at 7, or meet me at "wherever" Then done.
Like first comment, less is always more. If there is more blue/green than gray on your texting (iPhone reference) tone it the fuck back.
Not sure if my other remark came through but like I said it is just a generic framework and you will add your own color.
The idea I'm conveying is that too often guys text and text and text and we become too accessible and then we wonder why the girl all of a sudden stops texting. It's all over Reddit with questions, why did she ghost me?
2 dates isn't really a lot. I'm not sure how old you are, and you may have a great rapport with this girl, just keep it to a minimum and you should be good.
[–]mxsnsfw 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you haven't been texting a lot your texts should be about setting up future dates.
"Hey, what are you up to tonight?" "Doing anything exciting later? I'm doing blah blah blah." "What's your schedule like this week?"
Once you've get a rapport going you can start to send more catching up texts.
"Hey! How's your day going?" "What are you up to?" "-some call back to something you were talking about-" "-some link to something she stated interest in-"
Also, just text whatever you want. Stop focusing on what she might want you to say, and started focusing on what you yourself want to say. Sure, you might have some blow outs, but you'll learn more from them.
[–]TheXXL0 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
My question is, how much texting is supposed to go on at this point?
The general law in texting a girl you have been on two dates is stated in the texting book, at page 265, paragraph 2: "You shall text her on exactly 1.425 occasions throughout the days Thursday, Sunday and monday, times 1:32:22pm to 3:32:50. If you not obey those laws you will be fined at an amount of 2500$ per text."
And what should we be texting about? I'm not the best texter, so examples would be awesome.
The laws about what to text.... argh screw that, you get my point. You are overthinking, there is no general rule! No matter what anyone else tells you, there. are. no. rules!
So, now we got this out of the way, i will tell you what you could do, and even this is with no guarantee to succeed, since it all depends on so many factors. Text her whenever you feel like you have something to share with her. Text her as long as you think you are not annoying her, or you feel you are not putting in too much effort. Believe me when i say that we all have this thing called instinct, which tells us if something is not a good idea, if you follow that instinct, you will be fine either way. Sure you might do something wrong, but this is life, the beautiful thing where we all make mistakes and hopefully learn from those mistakes.
About what to text: If you don't know what to text, just don't text at all. Only text something if you have reason for it. Who want's to read a text like "hey how are you doing?" - "i'm fine how are you?" - "i'm fine too...." - silence. Just a few days ago i was sitting at my desk at work, a double chocolate muffin filled with nougat in front of me, and it looked so delicios, i made picture of it, and sent it to a girl i am talking to. Her reply was "omg! i want it!" I joked around for a few minutes and told her i need to keep working. Yesterday we agreed on a date, and she mentioned that it will only be happening if i bring her one of those delicious muffins, i laughed my ass off. This is what you should try to do, share little bits of your life with her, make her remember those things to always have some inside joke at bay. I could now text her whenever i want with "remember that muffin? guess what, i have another one muhahaha!".
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[–]guyatlas 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Rawr_I_am_a_Beer 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tontobutt [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Rawr_I_am_a_Beer 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tontobutt [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Rawr_I_am_a_Beer 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tontobutt [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Rawr_I_am_a_Beer 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]guyatlas 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]guyatlas 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mxsnsfw 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheXXL0 points [recovered] | Copy Link