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[–]CocoBabeNYC 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why does everyone assume that the opposite of being a Nice Guy is being an insufferable rude asshole?
[–]Zealousideal6669 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
People simply think black and white you either this or that but life is always about the 50 shades of gray
[–]MistyMaisel 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
As nice as you think is ethically correct in any given situation and is appropriate for the level of affection/desire/love you wish to communicate to any given person.
With that said, it sounds to me like you're confusing having boundaries with never being soft, compromising, or generous.
It's good to have boundaries. It isn't good to not be open to your lover/potential lovers.
[–]SWIMS_labrat 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think a lot of it stems from my parents being pushovers who were taking advantage of
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Be genuine, not fake. Understand and know the difference.
[–]Zealousideal6669 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
One simple word. Boundaries. Have boundaries. I'm also not I wouldn't say all the time but most of the time, it's fine, there's nothing wrong with that but I have my own boundaries and if someone was too much I let them know that I dont tolerate that so have your own boundaries, have your own values to live by and let people know how much they can get away with. They always gonna test your boundaries guys or girls it doesn't really matter so you have to stand up for it if you have to
[–]SWIMS_labrat 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Kinda same but you can change that, if you stand up for yourself if you have to nobody else's gonna do that for you
[–]P7o7s7t7a7l 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There's no "nice guy" for all situations. That's what a pushover is.
I think about guy talk, and to tone it down some around women. Have some ediquette and don't be abrasive.
[–]runaround_fruitcop 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why are people telling you that you're being rude?
If it's reoccurring, then you're doing something that's rude.
You don't have to be a push over, but that doesn't mean you have to never comply or bend to her wishes.
All relationships, even casual, are about give and take. If you just want her to 100% comply to you, but you think it's simpy or bad to never comply to her then that's a wrong mindset to have.
You need to set up boundaries. What you're ok with doing and or not doing. You're going to have to compromise occasionally and submit to some things she wants or enjoys or likes.
Same as her if she wants you.
You don't have to sacrifice yourself and your code and your sense of self for a woman, but compromise is necessary and completely different than that
Should I act nice the entire time especially when first meeting
[–]Titty_Slicer_5000 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
You should be nice and kind to both the other person and yourself. That’s all. You don’t need to be an asshole or not nice, you just need to have self-respect and not let the girl (or anyone else for that matter) disrespect you.
“Nice Guys” are usually just pretending to be nice and turn very not nice when they don’t get their way. That’s why there’s a giant stigma around “Nice Guys”. And that’s why women don’t like “Nice Guys”, because they’re not actually good people. Or they’re nice but have no self-respect for themselves and are pushover. Then women are turned off by the “no self-respect” part, not the “nice” part.
You don’t get a medal for being nice. Being nice is the standard, it’s what’s expected of you. If you really want to be attractive you have to be something besides just nice.
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[–]CocoBabeNYC 10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Zealousideal6669 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MistyMaisel 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SWIMS_labrat 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zealousideal6669 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SWIMS_labrat 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Zealousideal6669 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]P7o7s7t7a7l 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]runaround_fruitcop 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SWIMS_labrat 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Titty_Slicer_5000 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link