How the hell do I 'work on myself'?

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-05-20T20:42:58+00:00

Because with your friends you don't seek their approval, while with girls you unconsciously seek it.

Talking nonsense and dumb jokes like you usually do with your friends or family is risky because you're afraid the girl will think you're dumb, and of course your ego can't let her think you're dumb.

Because that could make her disapprove your behavior, and then she wouldn’t want anything with you for being so dumb.

But the reality is that if she doesn't end up wanting to have something with you, it won't be because you say stupid things that make her think you're stupid, but because you take yourself too seriously and because you're not stimulating her emotions.

If we add to that that your head is full of stress due to the excessive self-demand that you impose on yourself to be approved by her, out of fear of being rejected, then that makes your cortisol levels rise.

Cortisol makes your head start thinking fast about how to get out of the dangerous situation.

The danger in this case is the imminent rejection that you feel is coming, which means that your head cannot focus on anything other than getting out of that situation, and therefore you cannot be funny or say anything because cortisol thinks about fleeing, which makes your mind go blank.

When you are with your friends, you are not stressed, because there is already a level of trust and familiarity. Therefore, the cortisol level is low and you are not thinking of running away from danger because you do not perceive any.

There are books like this one that teach you how to be have better conversations, so you skip the interrogation mode, your mind stops going blank and can build attraction through conversation.

speaking_moistly · 2022-05-20T18:32:13+00:00

Start by practicing on women you would consider 5’s or 6’s? And as you grow confidence work you’re way to what you consider 10’s for your situation

yennybear888 · 2022-05-21T01:39:53+00:00

Inner game...work on self confidence. First step is to talk to everyone like they’re your best friend...the cashier at the supermarket. The stranger at the bus stop. This will build your confidence and eventually you just do the same with women

DragonDinner22 · 2022-05-21T08:12:03+00:00

Just stop caring about what they think and become a bad ass. This takes 3-4 years of embarrassing yourself to fully understand.

Title	How the hell do I 'work on myself'?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	4
Date	May 20, 2022 6:24 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uu4dpj/how_the_hell_do_i_work_on_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-the-hell-do-i-work-on-myself.1259136 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259136

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