A great conversation is not about remembering lines or using canned routines, this will feel mechanical and stiff.

The best way to become a great conversationalist is to expose yourself to great conversations: watch great interviews, read interesting books, watch standup specials.

What you take in is what you put out. If you spend your time watching mindless youtube videos about video games, you’re not going to be a fascinating conversationalist.

Conversation is something that takes place unconsciously, being funny isn’t something that you can force, it’s something that naturally arises if the right ingredients are in place.

One of those ingredients is being in a comfortable state where you don’t overthink (which you can reach by building social momentum: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhmTUyDZc6M )

The other key ingredient is the quality of ideas and thoughts that go through your head.

If you put conscious effort into learning about interesting ideas, your conversations will reflect that.

By reading books about topics like philosophy, psychology, and the biographies of successful people, you’ll automatically become a more interesting conversationalist.

As a rule-of-thumb, the more fascinating ideas you expose yourself to, the more fascinating you will become.

The opposite is also true: if you watch vacuous reality TV shows and play video games for several hours a day, you’re not going to have as many interesting things to say.

There aren’t many women who will want to talk to you about World of Warcraft, but most women enjoy talking about psychology, philosophy, spirituality, etc.

Don’t take this to mean you should craft your persona based on consuming things that you think will make you interesting.

Instead, pay attention to the quality of the content you take in throughout your days, whether that be video, audio, or in terms of reading.

Ask yourself if the video game you’re playing or the TV show you’re watching is empty entertainment or if it is expanding your mind in some way.

Standup specials, for instance, are a form of entertainment, but there is also a lot you can learn from them in terms of understanding how humor works and about the topics the comedian talks about.

Video games, however, are entertaining, but they rarely will expose you to new ideas that have any relevance to the real world.

If you make an effort to fill your free time by consuming content that is both entertaining and in some way educational, you will have a lot of interesting things to say about a wide variety of topics (I’ve included some recommended books, YouTube channels, etc. below).

You can follow me on Snapchat for exclusive infield (approaches, pulls, etc.) Username: AveryGHayden

Recommended resources:

Books:

Predictably Irrational, Dan Ariely

A Brief History of Thought, Luc Ferry

The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg

The Upside of Stress, Kelly McGonigal

Man’s Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl

Ego Is The Enemy/The Obstacle Is The Way, Ryan Holiday

The 48 Laws of Power/Mastery/50th Law/The Laws of Human Nature, Robert Greene

The Denial of Death, Ernest Becker

Podcasts:

Philosophize This

The Joe Rogan Experience

The Tim Ferris Show

Under The Skin With Russel Brand

YouTube channels: TheSpiritualLibrary

Elliot Hulse

Russel Brand

Tom Bilyeu

Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell

Teal Swan (Personally, I disagree with almost everything she says, but the topics she discusses are interesting to think about.)

TV:

Californication (The protagonist, Hank Moody, seduces many women throughout the show, and although some of the scenarios are exaggerated, he does accurately demonstrate a good number of the principles of game. He's a particularly good example of how to be witty and carefree.)

Any comedy special

Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey

Brain Games

Conan

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

(If you have any other recommendations, share them in the comment section).