I notice a lot of advice is geared towards being loud and goofy, but for me it isn't quite natural and I end up cringey.

I noticed the times where I pulled the most was when I wasn't trying hard and just kind of relaxed. The time I have the easiest conversations is with my stepbrother where it's just really relaxed and chill. I'm not trying too hard to make him laugh or be witty, just shooting the shit and being casual.

I can still be funny, but it's more of a witty humor or story telling humor than it is crazy extraverted humor.

So how do I wrap flirting, fun and sexiness and all the shit you need to attract women in a calm cool collected persona?