Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGTad_eaP1A&t=683s

The stand-up comedian Bill Hicks once famously said that in stand up comedy “your material is your last resort,” meaning that a comedian should walk on stage, pick up the microphone, and just say whatever pops into his head and he thinks will be funny in the moment. He or she should use pre-written material, which is what most stand up comedians use, only if absolutely nothing else he was saying was making the crowd laugh.

I believe the same principle applies to social interactions, including talking to women. The best thing you can say is most situations is whatever pops into your head in that moment and is interesting, funny, engaging, etc… Social interactions are framed by emotion and context, so coming in with a pre-written script or agenda that has nothing to do with the situation is almost always worse than just reacting and being in the moment.

Nevertheless, most guys who have difficulty interacting with women need a game plan because just being in the presence of a woman overwhelms them with anxiety, neediness, insecurity, and other emotions that make them incapable of forming an emotional connection or even articulating a coherent sentence. Before you can just say whatever pops into your head, you need to get to the point where the right thing pops into your head. If you are anxious, self-conscious, depressed, and selfish the wrong thing will pop into your head. Until you get to that point, you need a game plan to fall back on.

Your game plan should include a set of 2-3 canned “openers” you can use to start the conversation. Anything more than 2-3 is giving your brain too much to think about. Once you are talking to her, you also should have 5-6 questions in your game plan to keep the conversation going. Starting a conversation with a woman is like starting a lawn mower: you may need to ask a few questions to “rev” the engine before she becomes engaged and interested, but once she is engaged the conversation will gain momentum on its own without you needing to push it forward by yourself.

Your game plan can also include stories, jokes, and responses to common situations and shit tests. And just like a comedian is constantly trying out his material, keeping what works, and throwing out what does not work, you should do the same with your game plan. At the end of the day, nobody can really tell you what to do or say. All others can do is give you advice and tips and all you can do is keep trying stuff out until you find out what works for you.

Furthermore, your game plan should be unique to you. Everybody feels comfortable saying and doing different things, and somebody else’s jokes or openers might not work for you. Not to mention that you can never really trust any guy who gives you advice on how to get laid. I have seen lots of guys “guarantee” that saying a certain thing will work in front of women and they are almost always full of shit. You should take everything you read and hear with an open mind and a huge grain of salt.

As you get better with women you will need to rely on your game plan less and less. But having one is still necessary for when your mind goes blank or do not know what to do. I have a lot of experience but I still sometimes refer back to my game plan. Nobody ever is truly freed from anxiety.

The stand-up comedian Bill Hicks once famously said that in stand up comedy “your material is your last resort,” meaning that a comedian should walk on stage, pick up the microphone, and just say whatever pops into his head and he thinks will be funny in the moment. He or she should use pre-written material, which is what most stand up comedians use, only if absolutely nothing else he was saying was making the crowd laugh.

I believe the same principle applies to social interactions, including talking to women. The best thing you can say is most situations is whatever pops into your head in that moment and is interesting, funny, engaging, etc… Social interactions are framed by emotion and context, so coming in with a pre-written script or agenda that has nothing to do with the situation is almost always worse than just reacting and being in the moment.

Nevertheless, most guys who have difficulty interacting with women need a game plan because just being in the presence of a woman overwhelms them with anxiety, neediness, insecurity, and other emotions that make them incapable of forming an emotional connection or even articulating a coherent sentence. Before you can just say whatever pops into your head, you need to get to the point where the right thing pops into your head. If you are anxious, self-conscious, depressed, and selfish the wrong thing will pop into your head. Until you get to that point, you need a game plan to fall back on.

Your game plan should include a set of 2-3 canned “openers” you can use to start the conversation. Anything more than 2-3 is giving your brain too much to think about. Once you are talking to her, you also should have 5-6 questions in your game plan to keep the conversation going. Starting a conversation with a woman is like starting a lawn mower: you may need to ask a few questions to “rev” the engine before she becomes engaged and interested, but once she is engaged the conversation will gain momentum on its own without you needing to push it forward by yourself.

Your game plan can also include stories, jokes, and responses to common situations and shit tests. And just like a comedian is constantly trying out his material, keeping what works, and throwing out what does not work, you should do the same with your game plan. At the end of the day, nobody can really tell you what to do or say. All others can do is give you advice and tips and all you can do is keep trying stuff out until you find out what works for you.

Furthermore, your game plan should be unique to you. Everybody feels comfortable saying and doing different things, and somebody else’s jokes or openers might not work for you. Not to mention that you can never really trust any guy who gives you advice on how to get laid. I have seen lots of guys “guarantee” that saying a certain thing will work in front of women and they are almost always full of shit. You should take everything you read and hear with an open mind and a huge grain of salt.

As you get better with women you will need to rely on your game plan less and less. But having one is still necessary for when your mind goes blank or do not know what to do. I have a lot of experience but I still sometimes refer back to my game plan. Nobody ever is truly freed from anxiety.