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[–]flyingdinos 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Well contrary to most guys' belief (I'm a guy), girls usually make up their mind about you around the time you guys meet. So based on how you interact with them in the beginning of your friendship, they decide whether or not they'd date you. Once they've decided you're just a friend, its pretty hard to change that perspective ( or "to get out of the friend zone").
So my advice, escalate the conversation from the beginning. Obviously don't go overboard. The biggest mistake most guys make (including myself) is that we try to be their friend first before we try to date them. So when you first meet a girl and you guys have good charisma, turn your flirt on. You don't have to be blunt or anything, but you should give her the impression that you're interested in being more than friends.
And if you ever feel insecure about your looks, just understand girls aren't like guys. Yeah they like hot dudes, but as long as you're not run-for-the-hills ugly, most will give you a chance.
Best of luck x
[–][deleted] 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]flyingdinos 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
So something my friend does is that he touches people regularly in convo. So if you (or him) made a joke he'd grab your shoulder and do like a rub slap on your back, or he'll just randomly stick his hand out for a high five. Its weird but this allows him to basically touch anyone without them feeling awkward. And the trick is that he does it with everyone. So girls are comfortable with being touched by him (non sexually of course). So when he's interested in a girl all he has to do is escalate because she's already comfortable with him.
The point I'm making is that girls can sense the legitimacy of your behavior. If its not something you do regularly then its going to come off as awks. So if you're not a dude that makes sexual innuendos regularly, then when you do make it it's awkward or distasteful.
So my advice, be the guy you are around girls , all the time. Make dirty jokes and innuendos with your friends even when girls you're interested in aren't around.
[–][deleted] 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]flyingdinos 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Of course making dirty jokes all the time can be tasteless. What I was saying was that you shouldn't have to change your humor type when girls are around. If your friends are good to you, then tell the jokes the normally make them laugh, because they'll follow your energy and keep the group convo going. Its usually those jokes that come out of nowhere and no one thought would come from you that kill the convo. If your friends are the type to act differently when girls are around then you gotta reevaluate who you hang with when girls are around.
But from what I've read it seems you rely on mutual friends to get to know girls (which is understandable, I used to be very shy and that's also how I did it). The problem with that strategy is that you'll always be standing next to your better looking friends (and that may take a hit on your confidence in the situation).
So try stepping out of your friend group at parties and stuff, look for a girl thats by herself and approach her with the same energy you have for group convos.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So my advice, escalate the conversation from the beginning. Obviously don't go overboard.
what kind of stuff do you say to them thats "friendly" but also helps escalate?
[–]flyingdinos 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't really have anything generic bc I'm not a pickup artist or anything. What I say or do to escalate things are heavily based on my personality, how attractive the girl is and the scenario.
That being said, usually in my experience once you've got the girl interested they may drop some very subtle innuendos. Emphasis on 'very'.
For example, a convo could go like this:
after a bit of chat
Me: do you want to go talk outside or something?
Her: why? What's outside? (This is her being subtle, she's giving you the opportunity to escalate)
Now the mistake some dudes make (I also used to make this mistake) is that they try to come across as 'someone without an agenda" and say something that implies they're not flirting.
My point is that it really is possible to be friendly and honest about your intentions at the same time. Attractive girls have enough guy friends in their lives, if they're open to convo with you, 8/10 times they're also open to hooking up with you, as long as you take the chances they give you to make it clear.
[–]boofuckinghoo88 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Simple, ask girls out on a date. That's where you actually escalate. Expect to get no's most of the time but at least you'll get some yes's too.
[–]danielinthebox 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s not what you say it’s how you say it. I basically just have a normal conversation with the girl but my “sub communications” shows that I’m interested. For example my eye contact, proximity, smile. If she holds eye contact with you and doesn’t back off when you get closer then she is probably interested. Tease them but don’t go overboard (depends on the girl on what you can get away with)
This way she isn’t 100% sure if you are interested in her so you don’t come off as desperate and needy, girls like to chase.A lot of guys come on too strong and scare the girls away.
You can go also go direct (compliment) but it has to have a non needy vibe behind it. you acknowledge her Beauty but you don’t put her on a pedal stool and see what else she has to offer.
My guy friend who is literally a 10 always comes on too strong and it creeps the girl out but it sometimes still works cause he is a 10 and he just keeps grinding until he pulls lol.
[–]Ikuyas 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
dont fucking worry about that when you are still 17. just try to have a good time, be nice, generous, and be nice to e everyone. get a short part time job and get to know many local people whom you will need to associate later in your life. love your parents and take care of your dog.
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[–]flyingdinos 6 points7 points8 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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