How to escalate properly?

MarkAfterDark · 2014-01-07T19:52:17+00:00

she's horny for the wrong pipe

HappyJerk · 2014-01-07T23:04:43+00:00

She was sitting on my bed and I slowly made my way to my bed but then she transitioned to the computer chair.

Haha she could see what you were doing

Kino only works if you guys are in a good spot from the start. Moving towards her is always awkward and weird.

thoredaway · 2014-01-07T16:10:10+00:00

Shoulda gone for the shotgun!

Easy to escalate to kiss from there & then you've got it. Next time.

ThePUA_Baddie · 2014-01-07T17:48:30+00:00

I know your pain all too well. Alone with the girl in a room, she's maybe on the bed, I'm sitting somewhere else and I try to escalate so I move towards the bed, and she moves as soon as I get there for whatever reason. I try to move to her new location and then she moves again.

Basically, the girl isn't interested. I believe in this situation she just wanted to smoke some weed and wasn't interested in hooking up for one reason or another. Now you can try to gun it and go for a kiss but don't be horrified if she harshly turns you do or freaks out. Trust me, it's happened to me, it's not fun, and it sucks. A lot of people would tell you to just go for it and to polarize if you're not sure. If you're just starting out and barely have any escalation experience with girls I honestly would say just do it, get your results and learn from them. If you have some experience though and can pick up on some stuff I would suggest you go with your gut instead.

recoverystyle · 2014-01-08T01:31:17+00:00

Hey man, proper escalation can be tough to learn. I usually start with "accidental" touching which I consider the lowest or first level and then maybe a friendly hand on shoulder which you could call the second level. Finally you can go to an intimate touch that I'll talk about farther down.

If we're sitting at a bar for example, I'll reach for something on the other side of her (a menu, a napkin, a salt shaker) and let my shoulder touch hers, or my leg touch hers. If you're smooth, you might be able to pull off this kind of accidental touching by telling her a story and making some gesture why you say something like "STOP" and your hands go out and one of them brushes her shoulder.

Passing a bong or a little pipe back and forth, there should be a bunch of little opportunities for touch like this.

A very important key with this is NEVER LOOK WHERE YOU ARE TOUCHING. That will make it instantly creepy.

The next level up from there would usually be a shoulder grab or a playful shoulder jab. Maybe you're laughing at a joke she made and you kind of give her a little light shoulder punch and say something like "you're ridiculous". Another example would be telling a story and you're recounting a buddy saying something to you. You lightly grasp her shoulder and point in the opposite direction for her describing you telling your friend to look over there and pretending she's him.

Keep in mind again not to look where you're touching. Look into her eyes and connect with her, or look away as you're telling the story. Have fun with it.

If all goes well and she's having good reactions you could escalate to something like a arm rub. You could maybe some excuse to hold her hands - like playing a game or a palm reading or some shit like that.

The final level is what I would call "intimate touch". That would be like the small of the back or the knee. You can sometimes get a nice knee touch in by the same reach gesture I mentioned earlier, (going for the menu, a napkin, a salt shaker). Your had casually uses her knee as a support as you reach.

The whole time you can kind of gauge her reactions and if she's really feeling you she will unconsciously start reciprocating your touches by casually bumping into you or grabbing your shoulder etc. This is when you really know it's working.

I've totally blown this escalation thing before. I got a girl back to my place after a first Tinder date, got the door closed and went right for the lower back rub. Haha, she almost instantly had somewhere to be and I was walking her out.

Respect the progression and you'll kick ass. Keep in mind, that if she's actively moving away from you, that's negative feedback. You'll need to read signals like that and dial the level to the appropriate touching.

TL;DR - don't look where you touch - move from accidental touch to friendly touch to intimate touch

KidBill · 2014-01-07T23:29:34+00:00

Did she contact you and ask to hang out and smoke? Giving a massage works. But eventually you'll have to go in for the kiss. No guts, no glory. If she resists, just tell her you misread her signals to avoid awkwardness.

2014-01-08T04:00:18+00:00

Girls will normally forgive you if you jump in with the kino a bit early, just brush off and try again in a bit. However, they usually don't forgive you for missing an oppurtunity as that shows you to be weak and unconfident. Next time just go for it regardless, if it cocks up who cares, move on. If not, chillin. You miss 100% off the oppurtunities you don't take.

Drfetus177 · 2014-01-07T16:21:11+00:00

Back when I was dealing with women more (took kind of a brake) I would skip soft kino and just kinda go for it. The trick that always worked for me was to literally push em down on the bed (not hard) and make some funny comment about it while doing it like "ohhh ninja throw" or something stupid like that then lay down next to them or if their legs were open lay down on them. Boom your in. If it backfires or she freaks out play it off by play wresting which can work it's wonderful powers or by joking and getting of with something like "sorry my pre workout just kicked in haha" or another stupid line that is an obvious joke. Works for me but I haven't done it in about 6 months.

nutin2itJustDontDoIt · 2014-01-07T17:15:38+00:00

Massage is a pretty comfortable way to transition. Bring up the conversiation , then offer back massage, move onto foot massage go from there.

Title	How to escalate properly?
Author	dura2
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	January 7, 2014 3:50 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1umnv6/how_to_escalate_properly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-escalate-properly.1364107 https://theredarchive.com/post/1364107

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