How to flirt?

brianbria · 2017-07-30T03:37:34+00:00

Most of the posts in this subreddit are about how to sleep with girls or where to meet girls but absolutely skip on how to flirt.

That's coz flirting isn't always necessary to get laid. Getting laid is the end goal. Flirting is just something that sometimes happens. People say it increases attraction, but if you're already attractive to the girl you are approaching, or you are confident, you don't need to flirt really, you could just hold eye contact, stand close and and escalate instead. I flirted with a girl for a year at work and it went no where. Escalation is way more important. Don't worry about flirting imo.

Think of it like this. A guy who does magic tricks may get laid, and many guys who do magic tricks may get laid, but to get laid do you need to do magic tricks? Hell no. Flirting, joking, teasing, long conversations, qualifying, are all things guys think they need to do to get laid, but you don't a lot of the time.

IAmDude · 2017-07-30T07:13:33+00:00

There's a great video on YouTube about flirting, by school of life.

Basically, flirting is just making the other person feel appreciated and valued.
Flirting is also a way to verbally play with different scenarios to test out their comfort zones with you. Doing it verbally first is key because girls are at such a disadvantage physically that it's scary for them. But talking about sexual or romantic shit in a playful way gives them safety to draw their boundaries and see how you react to them drawing those boundaries.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-07-30T12:07:07+00:00

So there's this girl that I've been talking to for a short time at work. She's a classic "oneitis" kind of girl.

You're already off the rails.

If you're talking about oneitis, then you're going to be overthinking the hell out of all interactions with her.

I've never been in a relationship before in my life and am clueless on flirting. I think I sound more awkward and aggressive than I try to be.

Being in a relationship has little to do with flirting, really.

It's in the dictionary. We're talking about being playful. Talking to someone and not taking yourself or them or LIFE too seriously.

You think you're being too aggressive, but absent more information, the likelihood is that you're either being too passive or too aggressive. Either one being the result of you being too focused on your own internal process of anxiety.

What do I do? Do I just walk up to her and tell her a joke? I don't want to be the weirdo clown of the room.

Jokes? Where did you come up with this?

No. Jokes aren't necessary. At all.

I see guys just so effortlessly walk up to girls and hug them with the girls eyes lighting up waiting to tell them something. These guys hug and talk to a bunch of girls and I just feel so amazed on how they are able to do that.

Sounds like you're describing middle or high school.

I go to the gym and am pretty fit and decent looking but I am just too rigid. I'm far from shy, I talk constantly and never shut up and tell a fuck ton of jokes to the girls I don't have a crush on.

Why'd you ask if jokes are the thing if you're already doing them?

Cut the jokes out. Stop talking so much. You have two ears. Listen more.

Try listening more and let the girls hold up their end of the conversation. Better yet, devote YOUR end of the conversation to getting them to talk.

Listen. Ask follow up questions. Etc.

Do you guys have any steps or list of actions to do that work in general with women. Like a day-to-day formula that could work.

No.

No steps. No formulas.

Every person is different. Every girl is different.

The easy part is, if you LISTEN, every girl will tell you what you need to know.

™I am obviously awkward as hell and have no clue what to do.

Yes I do. You stop talking so much.

Stop telling jokes.

Title	How to flirt?
Author	Machiavellyy
Upvotes	15
Comments	10
Date	July 30, 2017 3:14 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6qf78p/how_to_flirt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-flirt.1431191 https://theredarchive.com/post/1431191

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