I’m currently 26 (African American male) and one thing I keep dealing with is dealing with my lack of experience. The escalation for sex doesn’t come naturally to me and I tend to drop the ball.

When I was younger I had plenty of family problems and anxiety and never had a relationship as a result. I always had an air of neediness and anxiety that turned women off.

During college I started coming out of my shell more and more social but since my college was in the middle of nowhere I just focused on work and didn’t really date. After moving to a big city, I started really wanting to change I learned to dance, flirted a lot more, and even lost my virginity to someone who became a short term FwB.

I made out with girls plenty, but was never able to seal the deal and escalate to sex due to insecurity. It’s ironic because my friends would tell me how much rizz I had constantly flirting with girls, getting sexual with them, and just being super fun to be around. (At a certain point girls who being buying ME the drinks)

However, now that I’m 26, I haven’t had a real relationship and have only had sex with one girl and oral with another girl I met while traveling in Thailand while some guys I know are in the double digits from as early as 20.

How do I get over that insecurity and be more relaxed and not choke instead of desperate to close that gap?