TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

appolonysian Archive

View 19 posts and 493 comments by appolonysian on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
51

Inner Game appolonysian/r/seduction02/08/24 02:28 AM
21

Fundamentals appolonysian/r/seduction27/05/24 03:31 AM
19

Field Reportappolonysian/r/seduction01/10/24 05:52 PM
12

Fundamentals appolonysian/r/seduction18/09/24 01:20 PM
11

Inner Game appolonysian/r/seduction15/11/24 01:51 PM
8

Inner Game appolonysian/r/seduction01/12/24 06:40 AM
7

Fundamentals appolonysian/r/seduction17/12/24 03:55 AM
7

Inner Game appolonysian/r/seduction24/11/24 06:35 AM
4

Fundamentals appolonysian/r/seduction28/06/24 04:33 AM
4

Field Reportappolonysian/r/seduction01/12/24 06:44 AM
3

Fundamentals appolonysian/r/seduction06/06/24 01:11 PM
3

Fundamentals appolonysian/r/seduction08/12/24 12:49 AM
2

Fundamentals appolonysian/r/seduction06/12/24 05:02 AM
2

Field Reportappolonysian/r/seduction13/07/24 05:31 PM
1

Conversationappolonysian/r/seduction30/12/24 05:12 AM
1

Fundamentals appolonysian/r/seduction10/12/24 03:35 AM
1

Logisticsappolonysian/r/seduction28/06/24 03:55 AM
1

Fundamentals appolonysian/r/seduction05/06/24 12:03 PM
1

Inner Game appolonysian/r/seduction22/08/24 03:59 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Keep things short and polite when you see her (say hi or whatever) so she knows you’re not completely butthurt, but don’t invest energy into trying to connect or have a friendship. If she likes you she’ll come around and if not there’s no loss on your end.
/r/seduction14/03/25 03:40 PM
1

The conversation is dry and lacks direction. Use her questions to steer things towards an in-person meet up.
/r/seduction14/03/25 07:37 AM
1

Confidence comes from competence. Competence comes from trial and error, combined with reflection and a certain degree of not giving a fuck. Read and prepare all you want, but you’re gonna mess up from time to time.
/r/seduction06/03/25 07:58 AM
1

Why are you finding their instagram and not messaging them on the app?
/r/seduction06/03/25 07:55 AM
1

Keep things flirty, brief, and aimed at meeting up. If she wants to chat more, you can, but do that shit sparingly. Convo on the apps is only useful as a way to prove you aren’t a creep and can flirt - not to actually get to know her. All texts (especially in the early stages) should be contributing to a meet up: pretense and logistics, really.
/r/seduction06/03/25 07:54 AM
1

Assuming he is flawed AND actually attractive (no women wanna fix the game addicted basement dweller), it’s just another way in which women feel they need to change the man. Even though it may look like she’s actually trying to bring a positive change into his life, she’s actually just trying to enact a prolonged shit test. If and when he shapes up, odds are she’ll feel less attracted to him because even though he may be in an objectively better place personally, he still “failed” the test by al…
/r/seduction06/03/25 07:50 AM
1

Women’s attraction for you in the initial stages (and to a degree even within LTRs) is always in flux and largely dependent on how you act. External factors are at play too, but since those are out of your control, it’s best not to even think about them. Case in point: A woman hopped in my DMs saying how I looked amazing after I posted a story recently. We exchanged some banter and a week later I asked her out to a party I was going to in the area. At the party she was all over me and we ended u…
/r/seduction01/03/25 05:15 PM
2

“Down to grab some drinks and see where things go?”
/r/seduction05/02/25 04:45 PM
-9

Give it a few days and then text, “if you’re into that sorta thing ofc”
/r/seduction01/01/25 07:09 AM
2

Friend zone means she was either never interested or you displayed low value behaviors (overt nervousness, awkwardness, didnt make a move) and/or didn’t progressively escalate. You can’t have platonic conversation all night and then just try and jump to 100 and hook up/kiss, even if you “directly express interest” verbally. Work on conveying interest non-verbally while on the date and then guide things towards a bedroom. If she gives you a firm no, let things go immediately, but you shouldn’t be…
/r/seduction01/01/25 12:32 AM
1

Gonna ignore the blatantly iffy aspects of the story and work with what you gave us. Secure a date and location for the date if you haven’t already. It’s only 2-3 days, so don’t stress about keeping things fresh. Send a random pic of something cool you’re doing if you have a cool hobby or a pet. Meeting off apps is simple: show you’re not a creep, have the balls/ability to flirt and ask her out. That’s about it. Don’t feel like you need to entertain her or you’ll lose her. Side note: why couldn’…
/r/seduction31/12/24 11:54 PM
6

3 second rule is real. The longer you wait the worse the anxiety and the higher the probability you sabotage shit by “hovering.”
/r/seduction31/12/24 09:23 PM
2

You go direct or indirect for most approaches irl?
/r/seduction31/12/24 05:57 PM
1

Unless it’s time sensitive/you stand to lose more respect by staying silent, don’t double text a woman. She pulled back a bit and you chased, suddenly she’s dodging your meet up request. Assuming this can be saved, what you need to do now is pull back a bit yourself. Heart react the message to show you read it and aren’t butt hurt, but then let some days pass and see if she puts more effort into the convo. Then you pop the idea of meeting after she seems more with it. Sometimes being dry/close e…
/r/seduction31/12/24 07:52 AM
0

That callback text was not the right vibe. Don’t say/send shit to her that essentially conveys to her that she brings more to your life than you do to hers, or that you’re scared to/glad you didn’t lose her by being yourself. Also the “I’ll talk to my friends” thing isn’t a great sign. If they’re into you, they’ll make time and not be on the fence. In the future, don’t try and lock down the second date while you’re still on the first one.
/r/seduction30/12/24 11:14 PM
0

Type O Negative every time. Specifically October Rust.
/r/seduction30/12/24 06:19 PM
1

I may just be showing myself as jaded here, but in my experience, taking things to ig (esp if that’s her idea) is a tacit soft rejection. Basically she’s saying, “I’m not into you like that, but I’d appreciate an extra follow and passive attention though.” It’s kinda limbo for men that they don’t consider total creeps, but also don’t consider hot enough to hook up with or have a relationship with.
/r/seduction30/12/24 04:52 AM
6

I’ve done this a few times. Have a coffee date in the late afternoon (like 4, or whenever you get off work). I’ve rarely had a woman push back on coffee that late - if they’re into you enough to go on a date, they’ll go along with it. Choose a place near yours. Vibe on the date and then mention you got work tomorrow, but would love to show them your X collection/instrument/hobby, etc. before calling it a night. Ideally mention this thing in passing earlier in the convo if you can. Take her back …
/r/seduction30/12/24 04:45 AM
4

Throw out two days that work for you. Space them out (W/F or M/Th) and see if she’s free. Don’t ask open-ended availability questions before you know the woman is significantly invested in you.
/r/seduction29/12/24 08:28 PM
1

If “just be yourself” isn’t working for you, it means you’re not actually being yourself. You’re being what this world has conditioned you to be: self-denying, timid, unconfident, unsure that you even want the things you do, let alone feel you deserve them. A lot of people are so far gone that entertaining a version of themselves that can identify their authentic desires AND honestly feel they deserve them feels like envisioning an unreachable, fantastical caricature of themselves. “Just be your…
/r/seduction29/12/24 08:00 PM
1

Yeah they do, but what you’re backing it with matters more. Better to have your intangibles on-point and deliver a “boring” opener than a cheesy one though.
/r/seduction29/12/24 07:33 PM
0

True, but don’t make the assumption that they judge attraction in the same way that we (men) do. It’s not your looks that make or break it - thinking that way is not productive (and also where all the dumb looksmax shit comes from). Women generally find two things attractive in men: truly authentic confidence combined with the social savvy to lead/engage her emotions in the proper way. Looks may get you more “at bats,” but if you don’t have those intangible factors, you’re not gonna last long. Y…
/r/seduction29/12/24 07:28 PM
4

Plan around you. The whole subtext of your communication w her should be you leading/doing shit you like to do and offering to take her along for the ride. Instead of asking when she’s free, say: “I’ll be around X day or Y day to catch a drink. You free?” Offering it in this way does two things: it doesn’t put stress on her to lead the interaction, and choosing two days (W/F or something) helps you deduce whether she’s actually about seeing you. If you pick one day, she could totally and honestl…
/r/seduction27/12/24 02:03 AM
1

Nah, I get that. Were you talking for 2 months AFTER quitting the job?
/r/seduction26/12/24 09:39 PM
5

Let this one go, dude. Idk how old you are, but this is a rookie mistake: chatting for 2 months before confessing feelings? Really? Lemme translate her lines here. “I’m willing to invest and get to know you more but it’s too soon to be more than friends” = “I’ve already decided you’re not someone I can consider relationship/hook up material, but you’re here already and I want attention. Please provide me with it while I invest nothing.” You tried to make her come clean about whether she’d be dow…
/r/seduction26/12/24 09:34 PM
24

If you have a place to easily escalate to, why not? So long as you use protection, I’d say just go for it.
/r/seduction25/12/24 10:36 PM
1

Starting with a hug off the bat is a great way to break the touch barrier and set the tone for the night. Make sure you smell good and don’t hesitate or act as if it’s a big deal, just go for it. Realize that since she’s agreed to (and probably will) show up to a date with you, she already views you as a guy she could see herself having sex or a relationship with. The purpose of the date is not to put effort into “raising attraction” (being try hard is a turn off there bc it speaks to feelings o…
/r/seduction25/12/24 09:56 PM
2

Uh, maybe don’t talk about incest unless it’s in a OBVIOUSLY joking way but even then, best not to do that if at all possible. Gotta be pretty socially aware and funny for that to work in your favor. Just chat, see what you have in common and then throw out the idea of getting coffee together one on one.
/r/seduction23/12/24 12:21 PM
2

Make innocuous conversation with them, but communicate intention on a non-verbal level. See which ones are picking up what you’re putting down. Have a few small interactions w them before asking them out for a coffee or something equally low-stakes.
/r/seduction23/12/24 11:40 AM
9

The more energy you put into the interaction that doesn’t move it towards sex in some capacity, the closer you get to the friend-zone. Digitally, this looks like: texting too much/on her time, responding immediately all the time, always being available to yap, not asking her to hang out irl. In person: not breaking the touch barrier, platonic convo, no teasing/innuendo, being too “puppy dog” in your demeanor, not taking the initiative to create the circumstances for sex to occur, being dishonest…
/r/seduction23/12/24 11:36 AM
11

Sounds like you’re arguing from a conclusion and painting in broad (and largely untrue) strokes to do so.
/r/seduction23/12/24 04:34 AM
6

This is a classic sticking point. Never make people feel they’re doing you a favor by doing the bare minimum for you, or act as if you’re a burden to them for simply interacting.
/r/seduction23/12/24 04:02 AM
1

Depends on the tone. If it was playful, agree and amplify, if it was dead serious, pack it up and move on.
/r/seduction20/12/24 06:08 PM
6

I would argue that their intuition can be right while the man that intuition selects is sometimes dangerous. They’re fundamentally after a man they perceive to have the ability protect and provide; just so happens that some men who display those traits also have a screw loose.
/r/seduction20/12/24 02:27 PM
12

A lot of the time, they’re after the feeling of being desired. Sexting and chasing platonically gives this to them, so why would they go further and potentially risk their safety (going on dates entails this, from a woman’s perspective) if they’ve gotten the majority of what they wanted digitally?
/r/seduction19/12/24 01:53 AM
1

Wish I had someone to observe my body language and shit on dates. I really don’t feel like it’s that bad, nor even is my conversational ability. I think core beliefs and experiences in upbringing make me emanate “weak” energy despite saying all the “right” things. I’ve had previous partners say as much in different words. Idk how to fix it though.
/r/seduction17/12/24 04:52 AM
1

Nah I gave her a reason to come back. I do music so I was like, I wanna show you a new song I’m workin on. As I said earlier, I’m really bad at displaying intent non-verbally, so if I go indirect like this, it often leads the girls to be like, “whoa, I thought [reason] was actually why we were coming back to yours but now you’re trying to kiss me” Like, a lack of non-verbal escalation makes shit seem like a surprise/forced at that point.
/r/seduction17/12/24 04:30 AM
1

Totally get what you mean. Despite knowing what to do, I’m still acting out of scarcity and fear of pushing her away - yet inaction or timidity does that exact thing! For instance, I went on a date tonight with this chick and eye contact was good, but I didn’t flirt verbally like I should have. She kept to herself when we were walking so I tried to engage physically but backed off when she didn’t reciprocate. Proposed going back to mine, which she accepted, only to friend zone me when I went in …
/r/seduction17/12/24 04:09 AM
1

Depends on how hot the girl finds you at that point of knowing you
/r/seduction14/12/24 04:34 AM
5

Just learned what Mode 1 is from the other comment. Assuming you aren’t trolling, my advice is: don’t do that.
/r/seduction13/12/24 09:56 PM
3

I’ve had this exact thing happen, even after I smashed sometimes. I have some ideas why it happens, but nothing verified. IF it was because of anything you did, it’s because you did something weak and/or she was vetting you as a potential BF. The thinking is: “let me air all my dirty laundry with this guy and see if he’s the type to stick around and love me even if I’ve been through the ringer.” If you do, their mind concludes that you’re hot enough to suffice, but desperate enough to be a relia…
/r/seduction13/12/24 05:35 PM
1

If it’s off an app, sometimes you gotta ask a question or two to get the convo going. Use judgement though and if worse comes to worse, “like” the dry message and see if she double texts. Sometimes dry messages are a way to gauge neediness/investment imbalance, so mirroring the energy and showing you can walk away are your best bet here if she doesn’t open up after a few questions/substantial messages from you.
/r/seduction13/12/24 05:19 PM
1

Go out and feel the vibes. If they’re exceptionally good, say you wanna take her back to yours and see her reaction. If it’s a positive reaction, follow up with some excuse, like your parents are there or whatever, then say, “let’s just make out in my car instead.” Provided the vibes are really good and she’s cool with the idea of going to yours, honesty is the best path here given the circumstances.
/r/seduction13/12/24 03:43 AM
2

General things: - have a social circle/skills and don’t be afraid of eye contact - be fit (not a bodybuilder, just not obese) - have hobbies that aren’t video games or turbo-nerdy (pop nerdy is fine) - have skills that engage emotions/imply value (learn a language, play an instrument, learn to cook) - don’t lead with your wallet or flattery - be decisive and have a “want you but don’t need you” energy - carry yourself and talk with assuredness
/r/seduction13/12/24 02:10 AM
2

Ok glad I could get the point across. ONLY being rich is the equivalent of being a fat chick haha but it’s pushed as an aphrodisiac bc this world needs drones. To suggest a possible answer to your original question/rant, living as close as you can to your own values/desires is the goal. If there’s one thing the “naturals” I’ve known had in common, it’s that.
/r/seduction13/12/24 12:31 AM
4

Maybe I wrote that in a confusing way. My point is that theyre not after the tangible stuff - if a rich guy can ONLY offer his money, then she’s gonna feel resentful and start messing with him. Imagine getting with a super fat chick who has an amazing personality, has sex whenever you want, and will pay for shit for you. You might stick around for a bit, but sooner or later you’d start feeling something about it.
/r/seduction13/12/24 12:27 AM
4

Generally speaking, the tangible stuff we bring to the table is them what personality in a woman is to us, if that makes sense
/r/seduction13/12/24 12:15 AM
12

Currently working on this myself as well, and while I’m not out of the woods yet, I’ve made some progress. Look again at the way you wrote this post: “I’m X-conventionally-assumed-attractive-quality,” I do “Y-good-thing.” None of this is in of itself a bad thing, but it shows that you’re thinking attraction is a causal thing based on X trait or Y activity. It also shows that you think that on your own you’re not enough for these women - you gotta do X ot have Y. I’ll reign in the ambiguous bulls…
/r/seduction12/12/24 10:35 PM
1

I don’t think this “modern women” thing is true - I’m not saying the phenomenon is not existent, just that it’s nothing new. The basic tendencies have always been there (there’s no shortage of music attesting to this from the pre-internet era). The big difference is the amount of options the average woman has at her fingertips now, but that’s out of anyone’s control. Just work on being attractive in the ways that matter and shoot your shot.
/r/seduction11/12/24 09:30 PM
11

Women live emotionally in the moment: what feels right at a given moment is what they’ll act under, regardless what happened earlier. Maybe she was playing along and being warm because she was nervous or naturally personable. Maybe she was interested but that faded or something/one else came along and distracted her. Some women love feeling desired until they have to put in effort to meet. There are a bunch of reasons, very few of which have to do with you. Point is you approached and did the th…
/r/seduction11/12/24 12:53 PM
1

I thought this was gonna be a totally different (more historical) post. Anyway, preach!
/r/seduction07/12/24 03:50 PM
1

Sent you some messages a few minutes ago and changed some settings now. Lmk if you see em or just send a message my way if not
/r/seduction06/12/24 06:31 AM
1

I’ll take you up on this
/r/seduction06/12/24 06:18 AM
1

It’s not even formatting texts correctly for me, it’s vibing - I don’t know what to say to begin with. Whenever I’m not doing logistical texts, I’m pretty sure my vibing comes off as overly gamey and that turns them off. Get left on read a lot. The times I’ve been successful, the girl has liked me enough to go along with robotic texts and cutting straight to a meet up. Those are semi rare.
/r/seduction06/12/24 05:19 AM
2

I’ve got a few: That being a “winner” by societal standards is what makes a guy attractive That effort put into a woman/relationship means progress/betterment in any sense That they’re like guys - either attracted or not - and that if they are, “things will just happen” That women are “mysterious” and “difficult” when in reality they’re just reacting to what you give them Assuming women are the same when it comes to relationships and attraction as men All lies, obviously, and I’m currently tryin…
/r/seduction05/12/24 10:22 PM
15

Many guys try too hard not to care which leads them to “over-game” and come off as robotic. The book you’re reading is one aimed at getting guys to act honestly and naturally, with self-respect.
/r/seduction05/12/24 12:36 AM
2

This is a shitty place to be in, but most of us have (at least in the beginning). The reason it happens is because you’ve signaled interest in spite of her not reciprocating it. (I’m not saying you’ve asked her out or have been overt about it; these things come off in very subtle ways that most guys wouldn’t perceive.) The first thing you need to do is start slowly minimizing the time you spend with/around her. When you do spend time together, be warm but also give the other people way more atte…
/r/seduction04/12/24 06:56 PM
1

Hate to rain on your parade here, but you gotta prioritize in person connection over long distance. You’ll find one in your area who likes you. Don’t cling to this long distance thing out of loneliness.
/r/seduction03/12/24 09:38 PM
2

In my experience this happens when you make it abundantly clear you like them without introducing any sexual tension or having any sort of “masculine presence” for her to be hooked on. You’re the opposite of a challenge and she already knows she’s “got you” without even having it be fun/a challenge. Act like a friend, get treated like a friend. I don’t mean to come off as mean saying this. Shit happens.
/r/seduction03/12/24 04:26 PM
2

And what were these beliefs you guys differed on?
/r/seduction02/12/24 07:19 PM
1

What did you do on the date?
/r/seduction02/12/24 06:58 PM
7

What she gave you was a rejection. Women aren’t stupid - they realize that they’re handing you a difficult text to work with, and that’s the point. Most women have a very hard time saying no to a man directly because some guys are unhinged and won’t take no for an answer. If someone (man or woman) gives you a “sorry I’m busy” answer and makes no effort to reschedule, they’re not interested. Sucks, but it happens.
/r/seduction02/12/24 05:52 PM
9

Regret hurts more than rejection. Adding some more for good measure: If she isn’t paying you or laying you, she’s playing you. If they like you, they’ll make it easy for you. We fall for how they look, they fall for what we represent. Who you are is more important than what you say. Unlike almost any other field, less work = better results. Attraction is the result of a perceived difference in SMV. Trying to “earn” her affection destroys that perception.
/r/seduction02/12/24 04:37 PM
22

Agreed. Much too much superficial “what’s the right line/strategy?” And too little, “how do I become actually attractive?” If we focused on the second, most of the “line/strategy” shit would take care of itself.
/r/seduction01/12/24 06:24 AM
7

Being called “sweet” translates to: “you’re not introducing enough sexual tension here and my attraction is dipping”
/r/seduction29/11/24 07:06 PM
8

Looking good can help you get more at-bats than you would otherwise, but don’t feel like you need to be a body builder to be attractive. The bar is lower than a lot of people think. Something else a lot of people do is conflate appearance wirh reality, i.e.: “This guy is muscular/good looking and gets a lot of girls. Therefore, it’s the looks/muscles that are doing the attracting.” In reality, it’s not the muscles/looks most of the time doing the attracting, but what the muscles/looks (often) br…
/r/seduction29/11/24 05:02 AM
11

Think this: “Which would hurt more, taking a chance now or being in this same place in 10 years?”
/r/seduction28/11/24 10:50 PM
1

When she says some stuff that could be construed as sexual, just subtly let her know you picked up on it. For example, I asked a date which period of history she’d want to live in. She said “1700s France, they were wild back then.” I replied, “Yeah, you’d probably fit right in.” Combined it with a knowing smirk so she knew exactly what I was referring to. Just subtly plant seeds of plausibly deniable innuendo with the right non-verbals to stoke the right emotions.
/r/seduction28/11/24 08:07 PM
1

I believe this is possibly the most profound phrase humanity has ever coined.
/r/seduction28/11/24 05:03 PM
4

You’ve set yourself up for failure thinking like that. The craving for validation is semi-evolutionarily based but you gotta gain it from somewhere else. Edit: the best validation comes from the knowledge that you’re living your life on as close to your own terms as you can. Work to achieve that and then see how you feel.
/r/seduction26/11/24 07:51 PM
10

It feels like I wrote this post. Currently dealing with this issue, and it stems from a basic lack of self esteem. This cannot be fixed by checking off a rubric of societally imposed expectations, it comes from within. Regardless, women can sense this lack and avoid it like the plague. It comes out in micro-expressions, nonverbal communication, hesitation, indirectness, and an air of “I need you to like me.” The answer is to find what it is that brings you a sense of worth outside of and away fr…
/r/seduction26/11/24 07:09 PM
8

100% correct here. “Naturals” are simply men who have sidestepped that social conditioning or managed to train themselves to love themselves in spite of it.
/r/seduction26/11/24 06:50 PM
2

I honestly might write one. I’m no expert but at the same time I believe I could help some people. What are you lacking in?
/r/seduction26/11/24 04:15 PM
5

The internet massively overhypes the importance of looks/height (not saying they don’t help at all, just that they’re largely useless without the relevant social skills). In order to be like your friend, you need to do two things: Work on being a man women respect and feel safe around (this largely stems from nonverbal communication). Learn how to create sexual tension: dive below the surface of polite and friendly conversation and dig into deeper, more emotionally charged topics. Women’s arousa…
/r/seduction26/11/24 02:39 PM
2

Most guys pursue based upon physical traits to begin with; that is, they primarily filter women based on looks - if she doesn’t make that cut, her personality can’t make up for it. Usually the goal is just to smash, so personality doesn’t matter. Personality factors in when a guy is looking for a long term thing, but even then, most guys are looking for the most attractive woman they can find with whatever personality they click with. You’re different than most guys and that’s a great thing - it…
/r/seduction26/11/24 02:19 PM
3

Ngl I’ve never personally met a guy that filters on the basis of personality first. But honestly, that could give you a big edge - assuming that also allows you to approach and converse without being anxious due to how good they look.
/r/seduction26/11/24 01:56 PM
2

Are you a man or a woman?
/r/seduction26/11/24 01:48 PM
31

Eye contact, purposeful misinterpretation, keeping convo light and playful as opposed to dry and logical, occasional push/pull compliment, imply attraction as opposed to stating it directly, action > words
/r/seduction26/11/24 03:55 AM
2

Turn it into an experiment and gain enjoyment from watching yourself progress. Don’t fixate on the end goal.
/r/seduction25/11/24 09:29 PM
1

You can just say, “hey I’ll be out of town for a while but I’d like to go out and do XYZ with you when I get back. You down?” Don’t try and plan a date in the moment, but introduce that energy so she knows something could happen - otherwise you run the risk of friendzoning yourself. It also gives you a good reason to let things go with her for a week or whatever and an excuse to reignite the convo when you’re back.
/r/seduction25/11/24 07:31 PM
2

Tell her straight up that you’re not that into texting but that you’d like to see each other again and arrange a meet up. Don’t be blowing up her phone too much or she’s gonna start losing interest because she’ll assume you don’t have anything going on/no other options. You’re rarely going to hurt yourself by not replying quickly.
/r/seduction25/11/24 06:51 PM
7

Do you honestly feel comfortable in your own skin when chatting with these women? It should be just about as anxiety-free as when you’re chatting with your guy friends. If not, that’s the core of the problem.
/r/seduction25/11/24 04:24 PM
1

I’m gonna be real with you bro: women get with broke dudes and bums all the time. Money doesn’t = attraction. The only time it appears to do so these days is when that’s all she really values you for. Make money to support yourself to whatever standard you want to live at, but don’t fall for this idea that you have to make XYZ amount for a woman to be into you. You’re completely missing the mark when it comes to what prompts authentic attraction.
/r/seduction25/11/24 04:20 PM
4

Don’t be available every time she calls if you have been. Text her and say you’re busy with XYZ but would be down to meet when you both have some time. Her willingness to work with you there will let you know where you stand. Point is: whatever she wants from you*, she’s clearly getting from phone calls so in her mind, why put in the effort to meet if she’s already winning? *she’s after attention, distraction when she’s bored, and the validation boost that you’re still into her. Take all that aw…
/r/seduction25/11/24 01:38 PM
2

Was she behaving differently/better when you were actively manipulating her?
/r/seduction24/11/24 03:28 PM
3

I can imagine. Sexual incompatability is a legit reason to break things off. Not fair for you to be suppressing your desires and them not to. Up to you though, obviously.
/r/seduction22/11/24 09:22 PM
1

Has this always been the case (libido imbalance) or is it a new thing?
/r/seduction22/11/24 09:14 PM
25

This is it. It’s actually an ingenious way to filter out thirsty guys. The trick is that you can’t be too eager when they put out that bait.
/r/seduction22/11/24 08:03 PM
1

Nah dude. I try and listen to new stuff regularly but they’ve not crossed my radar yet.
/r/seduction22/11/24 08:01 PM
1

Don’t hesitate. Put on some mood music and go for a kiss. The longer you wait the more likely the friend zone is. They’re almost never going to initiate that stuff, you gotta go for it.
/r/seduction22/11/24 03:19 PM
1

I’m not saying you should say it outright. Make nonverbal moves to escalate the situation physically: put yourselves in situations where it’s easy and natural to segue to sex, like sharing dinner and wine at your place. Most women won’t allow themselves to get into those situations with men they aren’t at least open to having sex with.
/r/seduction22/11/24 02:01 PM
1

Oh I’m a dummy. Didn’t know that. Still though, if they’re not into you, they won’t respond.
/r/seduction22/11/24 11:03 AM
2

No
/r/seduction22/11/24 12:51 AM
2

Yeah but through action more than words
/r/seduction21/11/24 09:27 PM
3

The problem is that if they’re into you and you never make a move, they often assume you are rejecting them (because they’re ugly).
/r/seduction21/11/24 09:08 PM
1

You know what tf is up. DM me if you ever wanna talk metal
/r/seduction21/11/24 08:02 PM
1

Haha I’m well aware. It’s not much better these days assuming you’re not listening to super popular (poser) bands. But I meant more like which bands were you all into?
/r/seduction21/11/24 07:21 PM
1

Circumstances of birth and the current social conditions are anything but fair, I’m not challenging that at all. What I am saying is that unless a guy huddles in his room alone or ONLY associates with clueless friends and family, he’s bound to get a hint and get on the right path. Also, I’m a metal fan. Please elaborate on your friends’ “questionable tastes” in it.
/r/seduction21/11/24 04:28 PM
1

She ain’t about you dude. When they are legit into you, they will surprise you by just how enthusiastic they’ll be. Let her know that’s a deal breaker and leave.
/r/seduction21/11/24 04:08 PM
3

Coffee and a walk. Shouldn’t cost more than $10
/r/seduction21/11/24 04:06 PM
4

Being a good guy and a “nice guy” are two different things, though they have a lot in common. It mostly comes down to motivation: are you being nice because you want something and are hoping she’ll “get the hint” and make a move on you? Or are you doing it because it’s an authentic feeling and you have no problem setting boundaries and going for what you want (making moves)?
/r/seduction21/11/24 02:36 PM
19

The rose thing is like a “super like” - it seems fancy but doesn’t actually differ from a regular like. If they were into you, they’d respond no matter what type of like you send.
/r/seduction21/11/24 02:11 PM
1

Did she give you her IG in person/digitally? If not, that’s not a good move and it could be the reason she left it unattended.
/r/seduction19/11/24 03:52 PM
6

Can confirm. Less is more.
/r/seduction19/11/24 02:35 PM
15

This belief stems from a collective hyper-self awareness and insecurity. These dudes go out into the world undermining themselves psychologically from the jump and then assume rejections are because women are automatically just as aware of their inner negativity as they are, when in reality the rejection usually stems from one of a million causes which are largely out of the guys’ control.
/r/seduction19/11/24 02:29 PM
3

Bring it up in conversation, but not in a braggy way. Off hand just mention that you paint and have been taking part in workshops. If she shows interest, casually show her stuff you’ve posted regarding it and delve into her artistic background/interests. At the end, you can use the art as a plausible deniability thing to get her back to your place. Throw on some music, show her some stuff, and let “one thing lead to another.”
/r/seduction16/11/24 07:31 PM
3

I’ll share with you a story I had last night with a woman I’d consider an 8.5. We matched on an app and she lives an hour away (she didn’t know that before the date). She sends a text before the date about how she’s tall and not to be surprised (weird, but whatever). I picked a spot in her town that I thought was lowkey but turned out to be semi-fancy (kms). We show up and convo flows ok but not as good as it could. Note: she IS taller than me. As things progress, it’s harder to shake the feelin…
/r/seduction15/11/24 02:16 PM
1

Leveling behavior?
/r/seduction15/11/24 01:57 PM
1

Who said they needed space first?
/r/seduction14/11/24 04:43 PM
1

Men are attracted to what she looks like, whereas women are attracted by what he represents to them
/r/seduction14/11/24 04:29 PM
5

One of the biggest things I’ve come to learn (actually from a fellow poster here) is that women generally derive way more enjoyment out of the initial stages of the dating game than men do. Whereas men are generally only interested in the late stage, physical aspects of the game, women can have a lot of fun on every step leading up to to it. They have no problem dipping at any point, for a better option or even for no reason at all, because they still “got something” enjoyable out of the interac…
/r/seduction14/11/24 04:16 PM
14

Something to keep in mind about apps is that (and this has been confirmed by a few women I’ve discussed this with) the majority of women on there aren’t actively looking to meet up. The two biggest reasons I’ve been told they’re on there are: They’re looking for quick and easy validation; the knowledge that someone wants them. They like having back-up options in-waiting, just in case things don’t work out with whatever guy they’re chasing at the moment. Don’t take flaking or flitty behavior pers…
/r/seduction14/11/24 04:02 PM
1

Guys with the ability to tease, build sexual tension, and hold an engaging conversation with women are WAY ahead of dudes who only look good. If you don’t have confidence and social skills to back up your looks, they count for very little.
/r/seduction08/11/24 08:52 PM
9

Women are pretty much the opposite of men in a lot of ways when it comes to attraction. For them: Intangible positive traits > tangible positive traits Being able to hold a good conversation, flirt, build sexual tension, escalate smoothly, etc. all those will count for more than simply looking good.
/r/seduction08/11/24 01:10 AM
2

Ah, I read too speedily. Point still stands though.
/r/seduction07/11/24 10:05 PM
33

Think about it like marketing: if people are into a product, others are likely going to find it valuable as well. In this scenario, you are the product and she was asking “how many people are into you?” to which you essentially replied, “none.” Don’t worry though. Just live and learn.
/r/seduction07/11/24 08:29 PM
12

Context is everything. Holding something cause you notice she’s struggling is a whole lot different than her saying “hold this” and expecting you to do it, especially if it’s something she could easily manage herself.
/r/seduction07/11/24 03:06 PM
0

“Friends first” when explicitly stated by the woman is in essence a shit test. Guys who know what they’re about and are confident in their choice don’t stick around for that. Starting that way is fighting with one hand behind your back. Let her drop out if she doesn’t like your terms of engagement, but never let her set them (especially before sex).
/r/seduction07/11/24 03:04 PM
1

“I’m not much for canned pick up lines, but I thought you were cute so I wanted to come say hi. You from around here?” It’s a sort of meta pick up line.
/r/seduction29/10/24 04:18 AM
7

It means that you look great but your confidence, masculinity, and social skills aren’t matching. Any specifics that you can think of that might be to blame?
/r/seduction25/10/24 02:18 PM
3

Put a hard stop to any moves that show you like her, are pushing for a meet up, etc. In fact, do your utmost to be distant and act as if you have changed your mind. You gave a lot of the power away by trying to take the lead emotionally speaking and force a relationship on her - that’s the opposite of the energy they want out of a guy. You’ve stated your intentions (which you should not have compromised on by accepting her platonic frame), so it’s time to walk away and learn from this one. Once …
/r/seduction23/10/24 03:59 AM
8

This is common when you’re not usually social and just start getting out there. Even after that, old habits die hard. It’s something that fades with time though. Face the awkwardness and push through.
/r/seduction21/10/24 03:15 AM
8

It means no sexual tension usually
/r/seduction20/10/24 06:59 PM
1

That’s good. And to your question, you can just let them know you think they’re cute at the beginning of your convo. After that just let your eye contact and nonverbal communication keep that energy there.
/r/seduction18/10/24 05:30 PM
1

Gonna repeat some other people here, but whatever. They’re gonna pick up on how you feel about yourself and reflect that back to you, usually, so make sure that you feel good about yourself and that you’re not in the mindset of a peasant trying to approach a queen. The energy should be “I want you but I don’t need you.” Outside of that, be direct but not lewd. Tell her she’s cute to set the tone and then just make small talk from there. Your nonverbals are going to do a lot of the work and in la…
/r/seduction18/10/24 03:23 PM
27

Cold approach is the way. But if you wanna make it a little easier on yourself, start doing it at concerts, dance nights, social events and places where social interaction is part of the reason everyone is there. It’ll also up the likelihood you have stuff in common and things will flow better.
/r/seduction18/10/24 01:51 PM
3

Here are some thoughts. I’ve given each question a number for clarity’s sake: Simply by believing he is. Congruent action helps here (keeping fit, chasing goals, etc.), but the mindset and self talk is more important. Not necessarily, though a basic level of present ability never hurts. Just don’t think that those external markers are doing all the work (unless you’re actually after gold diggers). No. A reliance on a group of people to inflate your ego is actually a sign you don’t have what it t…
/r/seduction17/10/24 06:35 PM
3

Most women are there for a validation fix while they chase the guy they’re currently hung up on. There are so many factors working against you that are outside of your control on apps that it’s best used as a passive backup option. Prioritize in person meeting and don’t let the rejection rate on apps get to you - it doesn’t reflect your actual attractiveness.
/r/seduction16/10/24 07:12 PM
0

What I mean is to just go deeper conversationally than basic “get to know you” questions, and to not always be nodding along and congratulating her for whatever her answer is. Be different: ask her why she thinks what she thinks and likes what she likes, but not in a standoffish or smug way, in a honest way. It’s not always questions either, but your responses. Be skeptical, be interested, sometimes even turned off - these are all going to be way more engaging than an interview style date.They’l…
/r/seduction15/10/24 06:18 PM
1

Eye contact, vocal tone, teasing and engaging questions (shit that digs into varying emotions), physical touch escalation, leading interactions and experiences
/r/seduction15/10/24 04:38 PM
1

Much of women’s bizarre behavior is explained when you realize their basic motivation for doing most things is emotion based and impulsive. It’s entirely possible that she was feeling in the mood to do something when she was picking dates and then just fell out of it later. That said, it’s good you know what your contribution to this all was.
/r/seduction13/10/24 08:36 PM
17

What you’re doing with self improvement is the equivalent of a woman going from semi chubby to model level physique. She’s getting turned on by the intangibles you’re devoting focus to improving, and also the knowledge that other women are going to want you more for that same reason is putting her into a “prove why he should stick with me” mentality.
/r/seduction12/10/24 09:42 PM
1

Apps are at best a good passive mode of getting the occasional woman on the side. IRL should be your primary focus.
/r/seduction12/10/24 08:14 PM
1

When I can approach with minimal anxiety and navigate the way to a date smoothly. Pretty good at escalation once a date is on, but my sticking points are approaching and not fucking things up over text.
/r/seduction11/10/24 04:11 AM
1

The goal for me is competency. I’m not hurting for a partner or someone to share life with at the moment - a part of me actually does really enjoy being alone. I’m working to get good at approaching, flirting smoothly without shame, generally being a more social and self assured person. Made a lot of progress in the last 3 years, but there’s still a ways to go.
/r/seduction11/10/24 04:04 AM
1

Its a false dichotomy based on a fundamental misconception: “bad boys” aren’t inherently abusive, and “nice guys” aren’t actually nice. “Bad boys” are just guys who are unapologetic about what they want and have boundaries whereas “nice” guys are unable to do either and then get mad when things don’t “go their way.” Be kind but also be honest about what you want and have boundaries.
/r/seduction10/10/24 07:45 PM
5

Her responses to you escalating tell you everything you need to know.
/r/seduction09/10/24 10:59 PM
1

I haven’t responded and don’t think I will because the test is damn near unwinnable, as you said. My friend who (allegedly) gets laid a lot told me to just say, “we can do that” but it doesn’t seem like a great reply at all. Total frame loss. Right now I just wanna say, “you payin?”
/r/seduction07/10/24 03:03 AM
1

Thanks for the insight. Sucks that’s the way it is, but I’m just trying to make better moves in the current (shit) reality. Last question: I proposed a date with this chick to get coffee and hit a museum. She doesn’t accept and counters with, “can’t we do brunch?” Any suggestions for how to respond? Seems like a blatant frame test.
/r/seduction07/10/24 01:31 AM
2

What changed in 2013? Just got sick of it? And yeah, that’s why I assume it’s a shit test. Kinda just wanna say “that’s what the dates for” when they try and chat. The times that I have engaged with it, it’s almost always backfired - even if the chatting is inane and I reveal next to nothing about myself. As of now, it’s a dead end for me and I’m seeing if I can change that. Every woman that I’ve gone on a date with off the apps has had no problem doing so even with minimal chatting. A better wa…
/r/seduction06/10/24 11:26 PM
2

I find myself (I think) friendzoning myself via text. We meet on the app, I suggest a date and when she agrees to that idea, we’ll move to texting. When texting, I make a point of being direct and setting up logistics after an initial “hey this is X” text. After a date is set, she’ll often continue texting me with random get to know you questions. If I reply, we get into a back and forth before she cancels last minute. Her initiation of chit chat seems almost like a shit test. Any ideas how to a…
/r/seduction06/10/24 11:01 PM
0

I’ve been dealing with this too due to work logistics. Lmk what works for you cause I’ve been burned by women who just wanted attention during those times
/r/seduction06/10/24 01:29 AM
1

On the app, ask when she’s planning on being back in town. After she says when, say “shoot me your number and we’ll celebrate your return” or some dumb shit like that. Then just let things go. Maybe she’ll think about you, maybe she won’t. Either way, you can then reach out a few days before and set a date. So long as you’ve vibed and she’s into you, you don’t need to put a lot of effort into keeping a lead warm. If anything, your absence will help you out.
/r/seduction06/10/24 01:19 AM
1

That hesitation and in the moment analyzing is deadly. Lead the date unabashedly toward where you want it to go and tease her along the way. Looks get you in the door, but acting right is what will keep you there.
/r/seduction05/10/24 09:16 PM
-2

Its not that they like being ignored, it’s that they would prefer a dude who does that over a guy who needs them
/r/seduction05/10/24 08:55 PM
13

Don’t lead with your wallet. Most of them don’t filter on money anyway. That’s an illusion
/r/seduction05/10/24 04:41 PM
9

This is huge. Realizing that giving off the scent of a man without confidence/options is the male equivalent of being an obese woman is an eye opener. Now it’s just a matter of fixing it. I also got a question for you dude.
/r/seduction05/10/24 03:28 PM
1

Send your first message whenever you want. After that, match her energy. Keep your messages warm, fun, and aimed toward a meet up .
/r/seduction05/10/24 07:58 AM
2

“What do you look for in a partner?”, “if you could write a book on something what would it be?”, “what’s the craziest thing you’ve done in the last month?”, “if there was something you’d want people to know about you that isn’t guessable, what would it be?”
/r/seduction05/10/24 07:52 AM
1

Just make sure the convo stays light and emotionally charged. Any negative emotions should be regulated (i.e. based on push/pull on your side) otherwise, any emotion is good so long as it’s not negative or boring.
/r/seduction05/10/24 06:19 AM
2

You gotta take control of the conversation - otherwise she’ll lead it to a negative or boring place and then associate those feelings with you after the fact.
/r/seduction05/10/24 06:17 AM
2

You can be real about it: say “I get that they’re part of your past, but I want to know about you. Not them.”
/r/seduction05/10/24 05:26 AM
2

Unfortunately that’s not a great sign. When they like you, it’s hard to shut them up once they warm up to you. If she’s not trying to talk much, don’t push it - over doing that won’t help you.
/r/seduction05/10/24 12:29 AM
1

Have a good conversation with her, then before you wrap it up and leave (or go do something else in the bar) say something like “I gotta go, but we should continue this sometime.” See her response (should be positive) and then get her number and leave on a high note.
/r/seduction03/10/24 03:22 PM
1

I’d say it’s a good sign in the sense that it shows she’s at least open to you two being together in some capacity. Make sure your answers to her questions make you look like a catch (which she at least suspects you may be) and get her out on a date, so as not to stall out in platonic contexts.
/r/seduction03/10/24 03:07 PM
2

“I would invite you back to mine but XYZ. Mind if we go to yours?”
/r/seduction03/10/24 12:47 PM
2

It means she thought you were semi attractive but was invested in this other guy who happened to either be a loser or not one to commit to her. She says that he’s her “friend” to save face and try and keep you unaware of that. Shes asking you these questions so that she can feel safe making an investment in you - she doesn’t wanna possibly make the same mistake twice.
/r/seduction03/10/24 12:45 PM
24

Don’t put in more effort than they do. Lead but then take a step back if they don’t enthusiastically follow along. Be willing to walk away.
/r/seduction03/10/24 02:05 AM
7

Wealth, status, looks, etc. are all at best indicators for women that a man has a product they don’t even really know they’re searching for. In a world where authentically confident and savvy men are rare, they’d at least prefer a chump with money over a broke one (and I can’t even blame them). It’s a pretty cool insight, and allows you to cut through the bs and focus on what actually matters.
/r/seduction02/10/24 08:11 PM
8

my thinking is that if there were truly no bargaining or earning going on, then that would mean that no one could ever improve, and also that it would be an entirely static game. it’s indeed not a fair game, but you constantly see people get better at it, which is to say - they become more attuned to the give and take that actually matters and act accordingly. a man is chosen based on a combination of his confidence, social savvy and the strength of his masculine aura (read: NOT ONLY muscles/hei…
/r/seduction02/10/24 07:31 PM
19

it was sort of a bait of hers to see if you’d continue the banter or cave and ask her out - rushing a close. A good response would have been “idk, you might be out of your depth” combined with a flirtatious smirk. in order for a date proposal to work, that emotional buildup needs to be at a certain threshold - diving in too soon is like trying to start a fire with one twig instead of letting the kindling accumulate first. plus, if you’re friends, the comfort building aspect of a date has already…
/r/seduction02/10/24 05:18 PM
-6

just take an activity you like to do and say on the bio “not to be a whore, but we should (do x activity)” simple, suggestive, and funny, especially if that activity is normally super platonic.
/r/seduction02/10/24 03:10 PM
4

eh, my hot take is that the basic logic you outlined actually does hold true, but that it runs off totally different foundations than most guys assume. i do agree with your “never negotiate” point though.
/r/seduction02/10/24 02:57 PM
3

realize that women getting upset about shit you do and wanting to talk is their way of trying to say “hey you, i like you!” unlike men, who can vibe in silence and go days completely mute yet still remain steadfast in their attraction to a woman, women need to constantly feel connected with their man - re-engage with him to make sure he still feels for her. that’s what this behavior is: they’re not even necessarily mad about the apparent topic of the argument - they’re mad about what (they think…
/r/seduction02/10/24 01:32 AM
2

totally get that. it’s just that i’ve had a few situations where i’ve allowed myself to be totally led on and toyed with for attention by seemingly interested women before, so i am hyper vigilant to the point of neuroticism over it now. i own my responsibility in those encounters, but it’s left me with some shit to deal with. thanks for the understanding.
/r/seduction02/10/24 01:13 AM
1

you’re not wrong. i have a huge ego thing going on - i’m hyper sensitive to being “used for attention” which is why i rush to a close. sometimes it works, but clearly isn’t maybe the best move.
/r/seduction01/10/24 08:17 PM
2

damn, master oogway out here. thank you dude
/r/seduction01/10/24 08:07 PM
2

my reasoning for doing so was that i asked a direct question (which might have not been the move given the context), but she chose to deliberately ignore it. not only that, but the first half of my message implied some sort of meet up or escalation - something she also ignored. what she sent translated to: “not interested, thanks, but please continue giving me attention.” partially out of frustration and also not knowing how to turn the ship around without losing frame, i just unmatched.
/r/seduction01/10/24 08:03 PM
1

ah, like i’m trying to speed things along to a meet up. got it.
/r/seduction01/10/24 06:53 PM
1

My issue is that it happens strangely consistently. I have a very hard time on text being fun and moving the convo forward towards a meet up without breaking into an analytical mode. Once we’re in person, I do damn well. This is the big stumbling block for me presently.
/r/seduction01/10/24 06:20 PM
3

I gotcha man. I’ve gone back and forth on the “what are you looking for” question, and your input helps put things into perspective. Thank you for the insight - changing topics/going from flirt to turbo logical/meta is not the move.
/r/seduction01/10/24 06:18 PM
4

When women try to set the terms of engagement like this, it usually means they’re not about you and are just looking for attention at that point. she’s gotta be down to clown on your terms or she can dip.
/r/seduction01/10/24 04:58 PM
1

Question for you: what happens when you float out the idea of a date (without mentioning specifics) and she hits you with some variation of “i’d like to talk more before making plans”. is that a sign that she’s only on the app for attention or that not enough investment was built? either way, what’s the move there?
/r/seduction01/10/24 02:35 PM
3

lead the interaction and ration your attention. keep your interactions aimed at meeting up and withdraw attention immediately if they start trying to play any sort of games. if she goes along with plans only to ghost last minute, leave her on read and move on.
/r/seduction29/09/24 06:39 PM
3

This text made me wanna die and I’m not even a woman. Just fucking say “we good for (time)?” It’s really not that big a deal. If you’re REALLY stressing, just assume the sale. Say “I’ll be heading out at (time) tonight. See ya soon” or something.
/r/seduction26/09/24 03:22 PM
1

Bro did I write this? Same issues down to a T, but women are pretty mean about it. Lemme know what works for you.
/r/seduction26/09/24 04:59 AM
109

Preselection is very real
/r/seduction24/09/24 02:50 PM
12

A lot of your solution is outlined in your own post. “not good at communication” work on being a good conversationalist, and using language to evoke emotion in women you are attracted to. “never break the touch barrier” do the opposite of what you’re doing now. Outside of that, be upfront with your intentions and work on non-verbal attraction communicators like eye contact, body language, etc.
/r/seduction24/09/24 04:03 AM
1

A few reasons for this, but here are two big ones: Sometimes if they have really shitty self esteem, they’ll do this to try and get you hooked so that you then start chasing them. Other times, you’re their “back up” option while they chase a different dude - when things don’t work out with him, they come back to you. Either way, you did the right thing not chasing and the best thing to do is move on now.
/r/seduction24/09/24 12:57 AM
95

You have to risk making them uncomfortable. Look at it this way: you fear you’re going to lose them if you do that, but you’re already losing them anyway, so you might as well have that happen while you’re being authentic about your intentions. Doing the “nice guy” act doesn’t fool anyone.
/r/seduction23/09/24 07:00 PM
17

Eh, I don’t think flaking is dependent on season. The cold hard fact is that if she wants to meet, she won’t flake, and if she really has to, she’ll put in effort to reschedule.
/r/seduction23/09/24 03:41 PM
275

“Maybe some platonic hand holding if you’re lucky”
/r/seduction23/09/24 01:17 PM
208

A quick message to let her know you’re still planning on meeting the day of or night before the date is a good idea, provided it’s not worded terribly. This holds true more for dates planned a few days in advance. If you planned a date for the next day, things are a bit different.
/r/seduction21/09/24 05:23 PM
1

Try going to events centered around things you enjoy doing. That’ll make conversation flow easier and ensure that most people will have a bit in common with you from the jump.
/r/seduction21/09/24 04:52 PM
1

If I’m out and about and I see a woman who looks good and who’s vibe I like I’ll go and make some conversation. Her willingness to participate and contribute helps gauge an interest level, and then it’s a matter of injecting some flirtatious energy before going for a number or proposing a date idea.
/r/seduction21/09/24 04:12 PM
2

Being a good person and all that comes with it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. What does the damage is that a lot of dudes mistake their overly accommodating behavior for niceness, when it only signals to the woman “please, I’ll do anything just lemme hit”, which is a fundamentally un-seductive essence to bring to the table. Be respectful but honest, and have and honor boundaries.
/r/seduction21/09/24 03:08 PM
1

Well, you have the answer to your question: don’t try and be friends with them before letting your romantic intentions be known. Have a quick chat and get to know you thing with a new woman for a bit when you first meet, but you should be asking them out pretty quickly. Otherwise, it feels disingenuous for them.
/r/seduction21/09/24 02:49 PM
9

Nah, being a pilot will always be cool. You’re going after what you (presumably) want to do, taking risks, being a leader (of a multi ton flying metal can) etc. It’s probably something else.
/r/seduction21/09/24 05:39 AM
1

What things are you doing with these girls before they “just want to be friends”? Any common behaviors on your end whatsoever?
/r/seduction21/09/24 05:37 AM
1

A lot of it has do with putting yourself out of your comfort zone - into more socially challenging environments and not being a wall flower. Even outside of that, simply pursuing challenging goals and overcoming obstacles contribute to building that energy.
/r/seduction21/09/24 12:35 AM
1

As someone with niche interests who has learned the hard way: Whatever you do, do NOT get defensive in tone or wording in the slightest. They’re pressing to see if you’re confident in yourself, and any slip up there is going to tarnish their view of you after. Some woman once basically called me boring, saying, “I bet you’re one of those guys who goes to scrabble nights and calls it fun.” This was before I knew better, so I got defensive and “played it cool” by saying “haha nah”, but even that w…
/r/seduction20/09/24 09:00 PM
2

Asking forces her to take partial responsibility for where things go from there, which most women will not proactively do - especially in public. Make the moves you wanna make, but always allow her to say no, obviously.
/r/seduction20/09/24 05:02 PM
50

Before you start, you gotta realize that the criteria society will sell you on this topic is only partially helpful at best, because “first you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the woman” is easier and more readily understood than the truth. Work to make yourself as physically attractive as possible (fitness and general health) as possible. That’ll help but won’t do the work for you. After that, it’s a matter of getting more interesting, confident, socially savvy, and cultivat…
/r/seduction20/09/24 04:06 PM
102

Thats their way of letting you know they don’t see you as a potential sexual partner. Let women like that go and work on being a more attractive guy.
/r/seduction20/09/24 03:57 PM
2

It was meant to be an obvious understatement but that shit clearly gets lost via text even though we met irl to begin with. As for the rest of your comment, thanks for the feeeback
/r/seduction18/09/24 08:13 PM
1

She hits me up first: “let’s hang out. I’m in (town close by)” I say, “cool, come to (my town). I’ll be around X and Y day.” She says: “what are we gonna do?” I say: “grab drinks, see the sights, and maybe even enjoy each others company” She leaves it on read for hours before basically saying: “maybe another time.”
/r/seduction18/09/24 08:06 PM
2

There’s some lore behind this and I have good reason to believe I basically eliminated myself as a serious romantic prospect earlier in our interactions. Mind if I DM you about it? I’d appreciate the feedback and this is mentally fucking with me hard.
/r/seduction18/09/24 07:39 PM
1

For sure. Can I DM you about this? I got a few questions.
/r/seduction18/09/24 06:58 PM
2

Thanks for the feedback. What happened is this: A woman I’ve had some contact with before hits me up with “let’s see each other. I’m in X town (near me)” I say, “cool, I’ll be around X and Y days. Come out to (my town).” She says “what are we gonna do?” I guess that’s on me for not including an activity in my initial response?
/r/seduction18/09/24 06:42 PM
1

You’re right, I should have clarified. What happened was this: A woman I’ve had some contact with hits me up out of the blue saying “let’s see each other, I’m in (X town near me)” I say, “sure I’ll be around X and Y date. Come over to (my town)” She says “what are we gonna do?” I say “grab some drinks, see the sights, maybe even have fun doing so” Then she hits me with “I don’t drink. Maybe another time.” So it’s not exactly like I was avoiding a question. Maybe I should have put that in my init…
/r/seduction18/09/24 06:40 PM
1

The most recent one to do this was from a cold approach
/r/seduction18/09/24 01:38 PM
2

Ask her out on a date and you’ll have confirmation whether she’s into you.
/r/seduction18/09/24 02:27 AM
9

This is overwhelmingly true, especially on apps. I’ve had women tell me to my face that they are on them mainly for passive emotional validation while they chase whatever guy they’re currently hooked on, and that in most cases, she’s decided whether she wants to meet up before even swiping. Don’t stress being “engaging” over text.
/r/seduction17/09/24 10:52 PM
1

If pushing for a meet up in a self respecting way is needy, then we’re all screwed from the jump. Why even talk to a woman to begin with at that point?
/r/seduction16/09/24 09:30 PM
2

Prioritize in-person escalation and cool it with the constant calls/texting. Let her set the pace in terms of emotional investment (which is generally reflected by the amount of time she’ll want to do that). Keep things warm when she does reach out and assume she’s doing so in order to let you steer the conversation towards meeting up again.
/r/seduction16/09/24 08:19 PM
14

She’s (probably) trying to get you to chase because shes gotten physically invested and is trying to gain some control over the situation. Don’t chase or make a big deal of it - let her come to you when she feels like it and continue living life otherwise.
/r/seduction15/09/24 09:57 PM
3

If you want the successes you gotta take multiple Ls along the way to them. It’s just the nature of the game. Granted, as you improve your win to loss ratio will get better, but it’s gonna be tough for at least a few months of consistent effort and honing your approach.
/r/seduction14/09/24 02:14 PM
16

Few things: prolonged or repetitive eye contact proximity to you, especially if she happens to “bump into you” in multiple parts of the venue speaking to you first when the context doesn’t necessitate it playing with her hair
/r/seduction13/09/24 02:57 AM
1

Send an inside joke/reference to your meeting. Then see if she’s down to continue the conversation over a low-stakes date. Try and do this all within about 48 hours - gotta strike while the iron is hot. Saying she’s busy is a soft rejection most of the time. Do a light takeaway in non butt hurt language about it and if she’s into you she’ll circle back.
/r/seduction11/09/24 03:05 AM
7

Say something to the effect of, “sounds great, let’s cook something up at my place. I know a great X recipe.” She knows your intentions, so if she’s not down for that then she’s telling you what she’s about. You can’t win playing by her rules. Lead the interaction to where you want it to go, but let her go at any point if she isn’t down with the program.
/r/seduction10/09/24 07:40 PM
4

Whereas men are like a light switch when it comes to attraction, women are like a dimmer switch. Game is socially navigating so as to move the dimmer towards attraction.
/r/seduction09/09/24 01:27 PM
1

This is it. If the sex was terrible she probably wouldn’t have hit you up. Most guys would be blowing her phone up after sex but even though you didn’t, she’s gotta test the waters to see if it’s a front. Play it cool and be a little busy, don’t jump on the first chance to see her again
/r/seduction06/09/24 06:27 PM
97

Only allow positive self talk - borderline narcissistic positivity is more useful to you than “realistic” objectivism or pessimism. Be retarded confident and don’t let rejection change that. You learn through exposure, and rejection is inevitable in the game, especially in the learning phase. Theory and reading will only take you so far - you have to go out and make it happen. Think of some basic openers that will work on women who fit X criteria (for instance, if they’re wearing a certain artic…
/r/seduction04/09/24 03:58 PM
2

Ask her what sort of stuff she likes, but then dig deeper on the subject. Ask what she thinks draws her to the media she’s into. Aim to get the conversation as emotionally charged as possible - not just interview level “where did you go to school?” “What do you do for work?” Start with those to begin with, but immediately use them as places to dig into stories, motivations, dreams, etc. just talk shit and keep her doing most of it. If she’s into you, she’ll make it easy.
/r/seduction04/09/24 02:16 AM
19

Yes, this is a documented phenomenon: when women know you’re wanted by others, they’re gonna do more to try and be “the best” option you have to either make you theirs or at least stay on your radar. The fact that other women (especially prettier women) like you is parsed by their subconscious as meaning you’re valuable and someone they want to stay in good standing with.
/r/seduction04/09/24 02:08 AM
1

Do you have the option of initiating conversation in person? Always do that first if you can, especially if you see her regularly.
/r/seduction03/09/24 08:16 PM
2

I chose the wrong word. Substitute “projected” with “presented [to the world].”
/r/seduction01/09/24 01:05 PM
4

I would say those are two sides of the same coin. Insecurity can either be tacitly embraced and projected or compensated for and projected.
/r/seduction01/09/24 04:28 AM
2

Two reasons, neither of them good. One - she thinks she can do better, and two - she likes having a reliable attention source. Leave her be.
/r/seduction01/09/24 04:12 AM
5

Thin skinned and emotional volatility. They also can have baggage they bring to the table that results in over reaction and in rare cases, actual harm.
/r/seduction01/09/24 03:57 AM
13

Go out into social situations and realize that it’s your confidence and social savvy that will win the day. Unlike us guys, women prioritize intangibles and can sense “aura” to a stupid degree, and that aura comes out mostly in non-verbal ways. Basically, put yourself out there and carry yourself like a guy who gets laid.
/r/seduction01/09/24 03:55 AM
2

I’ve always thought of it like this: imagine the dating scene as a battlefield - some people are charging into battle with amazing armor and weaponry (confidence and social skills) and they don’t even realize it. The rest of us are charging into battle with cardboard armor and wooden swords. “Being yourself” works for the first category of guys - they’re unknowingly well equipped for the battle. Saying this to a dude with a wooden sword would be downright sadistic advice if they knew what they w…
/r/seduction26/08/24 01:59 PM
1

If you don’t have confidence and social skills to back up your looks, very few of your leads are going to go anywhere. Speaking from experience Most women are the exact inverse of men when it comes to attraction: intangible > tangible assets
/r/seduction26/08/24 01:53 PM
1

Eh, maybe. Depends on the hobby honestly. Gaming has become semi-normal whereas yeah, if model trains and taxidermy are your things, maybe keep that on the down low.
/r/seduction25/08/24 08:54 PM
1

I think the solitary nature of these hobbies are what’s holding you back, not the activities themselves, provided you’re being socially aware of the way you go about presenting them to the world.
/r/seduction25/08/24 08:31 PM
1

Maybe I’m not building the right thing then
/r/seduction22/08/24 05:56 PM
1

Music mainly. I play live now and again but it’s admittedly not a super social hobby
/r/seduction22/08/24 05:55 PM
1

That’s it. I’ve worked on my life by jumping through these bullshit hoops, and nothing has come of it. I hate myself for being consistently rejected and am consistently rejected because I hate myself and they can sense it. Trying to find a way out of it but feel like I’m running out of options.
/r/seduction22/08/24 04:36 PM
1

Having any wingman, let alone friends at all would be great.
/r/seduction22/08/24 04:13 PM
1

Not at all. Each rejection reinforces a basic self-hatred. But when I’ve been leveling up in life outside of women and it still doesn’t help, I don’t know where to turn.
/r/seduction22/08/24 04:12 PM
1

This is where I’m at. I am evidently stuck in beta ways and I don’t even know what’s wrong, let alone how to fix it. The combination of getting proof of attraction AND a 95% failure rate is driving me actually insane.
/r/seduction22/08/24 04:04 PM
4

It’s called preselection. When a woman sees you with one, she wants you too - or at least is curious and more open to you than she might otherwise have been. Her interest and intrigue rise with the attractiveness of your partner, which is partially why guys who get with truly hot women can seem to continue doing so effortlessly.
/r/seduction22/08/24 02:12 PM
2

Break the fourth wall. Show some intent while also being socially aware. Try this: Get your number on a small slip of paper Go up to her, engage in a bit of small talk if possible, and then something to effect of “I get that you’re paid to be nice to customers, but I’d actually like to grab a coffee together. Don’t wanna put you on the spot at work so just hit me up if you’re down.” Give her the slip of paper and give her a warm goodbye.
/r/seduction22/08/24 01:29 PM
-1

Make a situational observation or a compliment about something other than their looks. Other than that it’s down to practice and looking approachable.
/r/seduction21/08/24 08:34 PM
3

My go to move is to just say (assuming you’re on an app to begin with), “no worries. Shoot me your number and we’ll set something up later.” Don’t overthink it; just hit her up in a week or so.
/r/seduction21/08/24 06:25 PM
3

I get where you’re coming from here. I had it relatively easy in school cause of my looks, and all my relationships kinda fell into my lap, so I was completely unprepared for the “real world.” But yeah, so long as it’s socially appropriate to do so, go ahead and spark a conversation with some sort of observation or compliment. Don’t overthink power dynamics too much, just go with your gut when it comes to what to say.
/r/seduction21/08/24 03:13 PM
1

Ask her if she likes Rotting Christ or Varathron
/r/seduction21/08/24 03:27 AM
1

Meet up with her wtf? You should never be talking frivolously for a month
/r/seduction21/08/24 03:25 AM
2

How humiliating the whole thing feels
/r/seduction20/08/24 03:17 PM
1

The only dating books that really mattered to me aren’t even about dating directly. Books that help you sort out esteem issues will help you way more than X Y Z technique book will. Address underlying issues before moving onto specifics.
/r/seduction20/08/24 02:38 PM
0

You’re right. The only recourse here is to stop extending the benefit of the doubt: every time this last minute flaking has happened, it’s been preceded by signs which I was unaware of at first, but can now pretty reliably point out with new women. I can’t really even blame women though. In most cases, you only get played because you made yourself playable. That goes for both women and life generally.
/r/seduction20/08/24 02:32 PM
8

If the conversation reached a natural close and you’re not waiting on a response to a question, go ahead and reignite the conversation when you need to with a double text. Another time double texting is ok is when you stand to lose more by NOT doing so. After you have plans set, you can double text and check in the day of or night before. Don’t double text if the last thing you sent was a question. Those require responses and her taking her time or not responding entirely should tell you all you…
/r/seduction20/08/24 02:27 PM
1

If this is a pattern, then she definitely knows what she’s doing. If she was just awkward, she’d be chatting you up obliviously every time she had something to say, but as you’ve said, it isn’t like that. Walk away from the table and stop trying to initiate conversation with her outside of the bare minimum required of coworkers. If she tries to force her conversation on you, you can either say you’re busy or be more honest and literally just say, “hey not feeling very talkative right now” in an …
/r/seduction20/08/24 02:01 PM
1

It’s not the lack of money, but what usually accompanies that lack of money: lack of confidence, insecurity (obviously financial and personal), no ambition, defeatists/pessimistic mindset, and sometimes a general lack of caring for oneself. A guy who retains drive, ambition, confidence, etc. while broke will usually have better luck than a stable “nice guy.”
/r/seduction20/08/24 01:47 PM
8

If she proposes another date and you’re free that day, no need to play games. She’s exerting effort to see you and that says all you should know. However, if she doesn’t suggest a different day, flakes on that one, or just happens to be busy on any alternate dates you suggest, move on.
/r/seduction20/08/24 01:34 PM
3

They were after attention and you stopped giving it in the way she wanted so she withdrew. In the future, don’t do frivolous texting. Keep things warm but focused on a meet up fairly quickly after contact is initiated. If she won’t commit or work with you, let her go.
/r/seduction20/08/24 01:22 PM
5

Every time this happened, her approach was prompted by two main things: 1) I made interest known through nonverbal cues, and from a place of complete confidence And then 2) moved on to interact other people, inadvertently acting as if I was better than/ignoring her That’s the blueprint so far as I can tell. Looking your best obviously plays a part too.
/r/seduction20/08/24 03:59 AM
2

Had a run in with one of these women recently. Was very enthusiastic until the day of the date, at which point she suddenly “got sick.” She even went so far as to brazenly text “please don’t think this is an excuse not to see you. I’d love to meet you.” Translation: “this was totally an excuse, but please give me more validation and chase me!!”
/r/seduction20/08/24 03:47 AM
9

Your social skills will increase through sheer repetition, your perception of certain women as special will gradually fade, and suddenly you’ll be treating the ones you want the same as the ones you’re indifferent to, and just like that, they’ll probably start being more into you. OP knows what’s up.
/r/seduction19/08/24 06:50 PM
12

I’ve been there, bro. Sometimes when you act too interested/sold on a woman (especially before you’ve banged), they can go cold. Men are generally after sex first and foremost, while women are after the knowledge that they’ve “got” a man in the sense that he’s hooked on them - it’s an ego thing in the same way that adding numbers to a body count can be for men. If you give that to them too soon, they don’t feel a need to stick around. Stuff that makes me think it coulda been that is the messages…
/r/seduction19/08/24 06:44 PM
4

Almost completely false. Yes some women might go for looks alone, but that’s by far the minority. If a man’s looks aren’t backed by social savvy and confidence, they barely count for anything. I’m above average looking but socially retarded, which is why I’m here.
/r/seduction19/08/24 06:36 PM
3

First, realize and accept that the success rate for cold approach on the street or just in public is going to be low. There are simply too many factors out of your control. That said, do this: get her attention in some way before talking don’t approach from behind or any way that takes her by surprise if you’re going to approach, don’t hover around in the area trying to get over nerves - it makes you look creepy have a warm conversation and ask her name either in the beginning or after you’ve ex…
/r/seduction19/08/24 02:38 PM
0

What I meant is that I don’t get how it’s relevant to what we’re discussing here
/r/seduction19/08/24 01:59 AM
0

Trickin?
/r/seduction19/08/24 01:52 AM
2

Drop your energy to match hers and keep messages warm, but aimed at a meet up when she heals. Since that might be a while, just lay low for a week or two if you feel she’s gonna take that long.
/r/seduction19/08/24 01:42 AM
1

Based as shit dude hell yeah
/r/seduction19/08/24 12:14 AM
1

Hell yeah bro. I’m getting better at cold approach and really wanna get good, so that’s inspiring to hear. I’m a good looking guy so the apps are fine, but my confidence on approaches ain’t there yet and I hate to think I’m neglecting that skill set you outlined.
/r/seduction19/08/24 12:03 AM
1

Gotcha. You just straight up ask for numbers or like converse and then number close?
/r/seduction18/08/24 11:12 PM
1

Where are you meeting these chicks? Online too?
/r/seduction18/08/24 10:48 PM
2

You own it. Don’t hide anything, but also don’t go out of your way to let any of them know you got other chicks. If/when they find out, downplay it and say “oh she’s just an old friend” or some dumb shit. If they wanna leave over that, let them. But honestly, if you’re matter a fact about it, they won’t because your indifference is attractive. They want the dude other girls want. If anything, your following is wind in your sails.
/r/seduction18/08/24 08:50 PM
8

While external factors are always present and can change things, women are usually just going to reflect the energy you put out. The more masculine and seductive you are, the more receptive they’ll be (assuming they liked you to begin with). I’ve made this mistake too, but you can’t go from platonic conversation and then try and escalate out of nowhere quickly. It actually works against you because then they can feel like you had an ulterior motive the whole time you were being friendly. Be up f…
/r/seduction18/08/24 08:42 PM
31

It depends. If she flakes and gives no real reason or intent to reschedule, its a soft rejection and you just move on. If she flakes for a real reason AND says something to the effect of let’s reschedule, you then ask her what her availability is. If she gives a wishy washy answer or flakes a second time after saying she’d be free, she’s out.
/r/seduction18/08/24 07:45 PM
3

Women prioritize intangibles over looks, so don’t think you’ve got it made cause she thinks you look nice. Two intangibles that really matter are whether: 1) you can (or appear to be able) to offer an emotionally engaging experience for her, and 2) if you’re the kind of guy she can feel comfortable relinquishing control in the presence of. If either of those are lacking, she won’t feel a spark.
/r/seduction18/08/24 01:59 PM
17

You’re gonna have to disconnect from game to get the answer to that. Narcissists cover up feeling worthless by projecting a front of extreme self-importance; it’s a blatant compensation and pretty pathetic to see. Not saying you’re like this, but needy guys have such tendencies. Get some sort of therapy/help for those feelings. They probably have some root in how you were raised/formative experiences. Getting girls is a bandaid over a bullet wound if you don’t get those problems addressed. Plus,…
/r/seduction18/08/24 01:56 PM
17

Most of it is practice, but here are some things you can try: - non-serious assumptions based on information she’s given you - funny qualifiers - relevant stories of your own - open ended questions
/r/seduction18/08/24 02:45 AM
1

If she’s from a rural area you can be like, “oh good, I’ve been looking for a new moonshine dealer. Last one got a little too into meth. Maybe you can hook me up.” Just stupid shit like that, funny and clearly non serious assumptions and stuff.
/r/seduction18/08/24 02:40 AM
1

Eh, maybe belittle isn’t the right word. Say she likes anime: you can give her a mock suspicious side eye and say, “you’re not into the weird ones, right?” Basically just make a non-serious implication about one of their interests in a humorous way.
/r/seduction18/08/24 02:37 AM
2

Game is the idea of conveying sexual/romantic interest in a socially aware and smooth manner. Whether that entails adopting a persona/behavioral routines is your choice.
/r/seduction18/08/24 02:17 AM
6

If your looks and muscle aren’t backed by self confidence and an interesting personality (which can be cultivated), they don’t really count for anything in most cases. Women are attracted to a man for what he represents (in her eyes).
/r/seduction18/08/24 12:33 AM
20

Oh lord, this is a multifaceted question, but I’ll give you as short an answer as I can reasonably boil it down to: have some belief in yourself and your appeal as a person practice conversation (ideally within a context that makes it easy, like a social event centered around an interest of yours) Being approachable and warm should go without saying but I said it anyway. Do that and put in the reps. Regret hurts more than rejection.
/r/seduction17/08/24 11:25 PM
34

Those lines are bad. Flirting doesn’t have to be compliments, nor does it have to be constant. Tease her instead: don’t answer her questions seriously, purposefully misconstrue things, belittle her in a FUN way, etc.
/r/seduction17/08/24 12:47 AM
1

If she says it first, say it back whether or not you mean it. Don’t worry about some dumb “loss of power” thing. If she makes that first move, you replying the same way does nothing to change her liking you.
/r/seduction17/08/24 12:30 AM
18

“We’re twinning” “What?” “Well we would be if I was wearing (insert piece of clothing here). I like it though, where’d you get it?” “Haha yeah we would. It’s from XYZ” Then steer the conversation where ever you want. If she’s with a dog (literally the easiest opener ever) first ask if the dog is friendly. This doubles as a test to see whether she’s cool with even being chatted with. If she thinks you’re creepy, she’ll lie and say it’s not. If it is, say: “Oh my god s/he’s so cute. What’s its nam…
/r/seduction17/08/24 12:27 AM
23

I was just talking to my boy about this, and struggle with the exact same thing, so I can empathize. Due to societal programming and evolution, your brain is you going to make hotter women seem like a challenge to talk to/get into bed, but that’s an illusion. Simply act like they’re not hot and you’re automatically going to have a way higher chance of things going positively. Be flirty, flippant, and so on in their presence - DON’T treat them any different than you would a woman you’re “eh” on a…
/r/seduction14/08/24 11:16 PM
2

This is one of the biggest things that helped me stop fearing rejection so much. Don’t go into it saying “oh I gotta get a number/date/laid or I’m a failure.” Say, “I’m gonna get comfortable making conversation/flirting/(your current obstacle)” this makes it easier to not get locked in a cycle of “idk how to go from 0 to 100 and I failed again, therefore I suck.” Break things down and move to the next obstacle as you get through previous ones. Success is steps.
/r/seduction14/08/24 06:35 PM
26

You don’t give a fuck because you gotta believe you’re her best option. As someone else here said, you’re always going to be competing for a woman’s attention, it’s just a matter of whether you’re aware of it or not. Keep faith and go for it anyway.
/r/seduction12/08/24 06:13 PM
1

Less time/probability something comes up that interferes with you guys meeting. This applies most when you’re first getting to know each other, as investment hasn’t been built; once you guys really know and like each other, making plans further in advance doesn’t matter so much.
/r/seduction12/08/24 04:49 PM
0

Wait til Wednesday afternoon or so. Less time between plans and a date is always good.
/r/seduction12/08/24 04:41 PM
4

There are a million reasons why she coulda ghosted, and most of them don’t have to do with you. This is super common, so don’t take it personally. In general, you wanna create and maintain momentum from the initial meeting to a date. This means: keep things warm, but gear your messages towards setting a date. Questions you ask via text should be related to this - no frivolous “how was your day” type shit. Sometimes women can ghost cause they feel you’re not moving things toward a date and feel o…
/r/seduction12/08/24 04:35 PM
2

It’s because you probably look good but don’t approach with the right confidence and energy with women. For guys, physical attributes are considered over intangibles in a partner, whereas women are almost the complete opposite. You can look great, but if your energy doesn’t match, you’re in trouble.
/r/seduction12/08/24 03:22 PM
1

Cut the friendly chit chat and ask her out on a low stakes date. It’s that simple. Overthinking and trying not to fuck it up is the quickest way to do exactly that.
/r/seduction11/08/24 01:44 AM
5

First off, I’m going to say that what you’ve done for yourself and your life is objectively good: bettering your health and financial standing FOR YOU is totally amazing. But what you’re missing here is that the mindset of doing it FOR a woman is proof that you view yourself as below them (possibly even on a subconscious level) - you felt you had to earn their affection and presence in your life. Real attraction isn’t based in that. Unless wealth and health contributes to a radical self belief a…
/r/seduction10/08/24 04:17 AM
96

Put this woman waaayyy on the back burner and devote your time to other ones if you want to even try with her as is. Keep your messages devoted to arranging a meet up and mirror her energy. Being overly flirty at the expense of setting plans is not a look you wanna go for - it’s an imbalance of interest. Outside of that, realize there’s nothing you can do to compel someone to respond fast.
/r/seduction10/08/24 01:04 AM
5

As a fellow 5’9”-er, I can tell you your height is not the issue
/r/seduction09/08/24 02:18 AM
1

“Hey, feel like I’ve seen you around. What’s your name?” And then use her major in school to jump into a conversation about interests and see what you guys have in common.
/r/seduction08/08/24 11:58 PM
1

You can only break this barrier by doing just that: go up and say hi and try and start conversation. Don’t use canned lines and dumb scripts; be honest about your interest but not so upfront about it that you come off as a creep. Just realize that rejection hurts less than regret and get out there. Your first hundred tries might suck, but who cares - you climb the mountain by taking steps. Another thing that can help is to also practice chatting up people without the intent of asking them out. B…
/r/seduction08/08/24 06:10 PM
14

The irony here is that you can never actually ask for a relationship verbally or try and bring it about with your actions (beyond setting dates and being charming on them). You have to let women set the pace when it comes to commitment and when/if you two become a thing, otherwise you look like a dude with no other options who’s just lucky to be with her - that is not the type of man any woman wants.
/r/seduction08/08/24 06:06 PM
1

Nah bro, some people are naturally more witty than others but most who seem natural just have a lot of trial and error under their belt (since childhood) that you can’t know. Don’t submit to genetic or deterministic cop outs. We may have different potentials in different areas, but in almost all areas, you can improve to sufficient competence if you put in the effort.
/r/seduction08/08/24 02:39 PM
29

This may as well have been written by me. Get tons of matches and dates off apps, but fuck things up pretty much every time. Analyze your side of things closely: since you’re the common denominator in all of these cases, there’ll be something you have done that’ll jump out as a pattern. For instance, I’ve done this and come to the conclusion that my issue is lacking confidence in interactions and a discomfort around sexualizing and escalating, which I rationalize by saying shit like “oh the logi…
/r/seduction08/08/24 02:31 PM
7

Unserious doesn’t mean corny. It means self-assured, funny and borderline flippant. If it isn’t working for you, make sure you’re not starting out one way and shifting the other way. You’re all in it you’re not.
/r/seduction08/08/24 01:43 PM
11

That “pressure” is entirely something you subscribe to. It sounds like you’re looking for reasons to be unhappy about your wasted “golden years” and the future.
/r/seduction08/08/24 01:38 PM
54

Seconding this. Either way, it’s not a good sign about the chick. If you don’t wanna get rid of her but wanna know which it is, say something like: “been really busy with work/(xyz activity you do) but I’d love to see you soon. When are you around?” If she gives you any hesitation or fuss there, you’re in the first camp.
/r/seduction07/08/24 10:32 PM
2

You gotta pop the idea of meeting up within about 3 to 5 message me exchanges. The point of texting on the apps is to prove to each other you’re not completely unhinged or needy - after that’s cleared away, you gotta keep it moving
/r/seduction07/08/24 07:21 PM
6

If you don’t know him you don’t owe him any sort of warning or notice. Continue in the direction you’ve been going.
/r/seduction07/08/24 07:19 PM
1

See if she’s down to go out with you one on one for drinks or something. If she says no in any way to that, then there’s a chance you might be the emotional support dude. That said, there’s not enough detail in this post for me to say for sure.
/r/seduction07/08/24 06:44 PM
1

Some basics: - realize that a good portion of the work is done before you send your first message (she either swiped for attention or because she actually likes you) so don’t overthink first messages too much - that said, it’s better to have something plausibly unique to her profile, but don’t overthink it. Better to be generic and engaging than corny and needy - trade a few texts to show you’re not a total psycho - ask her out within about 3 to 5 message exchanges - keep the first date ultra lo…
/r/seduction07/08/24 05:48 PM
227

I would add: never text a woman for more than 48 hours or so before asking her out. Ideally, you wanna do that within 3 to 5 message exchanges. The majority of your work has been done before you shoot your shot on an app - don’t let the flame die out with chit chat. You should aim to balance keeping convo light and flirty while pushing towards a meet up at all times. No pointless questions.
/r/seduction07/08/24 01:48 AM
0

Two options: You can go and then have her pay for her half Or You can say something to the effect of, “you’ve got some taste [referring to her choice] but I feel we’re getting ahead of ourselves. How bout we grab a coffee and see if we can’t work our way there?”
/r/seduction06/08/24 11:51 PM
5

There’s nothing to be guilty about dude. You’re living the life they could only dream of. Relationships for a man are an act of surrender and submission - they con themselves into denial about that via “love” and shit. There’s no honest man that would trade instant and endless variety for one aging partner.
/r/seduction06/08/24 11:16 PM
1

Introduce something early on in your discussion that you wonder if she’s into. If she’s into it, bond over it a bit and if not, say something to the effect of “oh I bet you’d love it” and then keep conversation rolling. At the end, invite her back to check out that thing. That’s how pretty much all my hookups have gone down.
/r/seduction06/08/24 03:10 PM
1

You might have some sort of sense aversion thing going on or just plain asexual. Idk, maybe go see an actual doctor or psychologist if you really wanna know.
/r/seduction06/08/24 02:07 PM
1

Sex is something that depends on the individuals doing it: what may be painfully vanilla or too kinky to you is someone else’s dream encounter. It’s hard to quantify what makes “good sex” in some overarching way. One thing I will say is a common denominator is effort put in by both people - you know it when you have it and you know it when you don’t. It’s way more so the second conclusion you made. Also, see what her behavior is after - if it was good, she’ll probs wanna cuddle and stuff after.
/r/seduction06/08/24 01:26 PM
26

Nah don’t lower your standards and go for uggos, just chill and realize sucking during your first try at anything is totally cool. Lost it earlier than I did
/r/seduction05/08/24 08:57 PM
60

Your first time is your FIRST time. How can you realistically expect for it not to be awkward? Don’t be hard on yourself. You’re only going up from there
/r/seduction05/08/24 08:46 PM
7

You can if you want, but just realize the battle will be more uphill than it might otherwise be
/r/seduction05/08/24 08:37 PM
4

How do you come off over eager via text?
/r/seduction05/08/24 07:52 PM
11

You’re massively overthinking. 1-2 minutes is extremely good. Just make a date and see where things go
/r/seduction05/08/24 07:42 PM
4

If there’s no interest in the conversation whatsoever you’re essentially asking how do you start a fire with absolutely no resources: the answer is you can’t
/r/seduction05/08/24 07:41 PM
1

Just go ask people out, god dammit
/r/seduction05/08/24 07:40 PM
25

Nah bro, she’s telling you what she’s feeling. If she’s not feeling it then just move on.
/r/seduction05/08/24 03:03 PM
1

People will say shit to avoid confrontation. It’s easier to go halfway and hope a dude will take a hint than straight up say no because some dudes are unhinged and won’t take no for an answer. Not saying you’re like that, but that’s the reality.
/r/seduction05/08/24 03:01 PM
1

You’re gonna wanna bring a white flag, baguette, some wine, and a gojira CD. You got this in the bag. Say you wouldn’t have let Paris fall to the Nazis cause you’re built different. Also see which colony she’d reclaim for her country if she could.
/r/seduction05/08/24 12:06 PM
22

Reasons are nearly endless and generally beyond your control. It isn’t the lack of those externals that’s messing you up, it’s the fact you’re clearly insecure about them.
/r/seduction04/08/24 04:26 PM
3

Vocal tone and speech speed, bedroom eye contact, slight innuendo, teasing etc. Women get aroused by the courtship process and the confidence of their potential partner, they usually need more than just the physical attributes like men do.
/r/seduction03/08/24 04:02 PM
3

The move is this: stick around and don’t be outwardly bothered by his arrival, even engage him a bit with a calm demeanor to let both of them know you’re not threatened. Then, at a socially opportune time just disconnect and get a drink or something - show without telling that you’re not gonna put yourself in a position where you’re gonna fight over a woman you’ve just met. It’s not a good look. If she likes you she’ll be put off by the other dude’s thirstiness, sense your disconnection and find…
/r/seduction02/08/24 08:28 PM
1

Yeah, that’s the kicker for me. It hasn’t - hence the post.
/r/seduction02/08/24 10:32 AM
3

I get what you’re saying, and I’m not looking for some miracle in these responses, just wondering if my assumption (which entails action, not just theorizing) is missing any aspects. I realize it may be a tough battle but I refuse to give up. Thanks for your input!
/r/seduction02/08/24 04:04 AM
6

I agree with this and won’t allow myself to cop out with the “it’s genetic” thing. I’m not a recluse by any stretch of the imagination, just trying to buff my stats in this regard so to speak. Gaining these skills via exposure really is the only way, and every person I’ve met who has that “it” factor has in some way been FORCED to be social nearly 24/7 via work or upbringing.
/r/seduction02/08/24 03:33 AM
9

If you’re hitting it off with them and have a place to go, it’s only you getting in your own way. Might as well ask em back. In conversation, introduce something (a movie/music/etc.) and see if they’re into it: if yes, it’s a good excuse to go back to yours, if not, it’s a good reason to take them back and familiarize them with it. You just need some innocuous pretext for them to come back so they can run with a different story and not feel like they’re “easy.” Invite em back under those pretext…
/r/seduction27/07/24 11:19 PM
38

Women don’t get close to men they consider creepy, let alone touch them. If it’s happening, assume attraction until proven otherwise.
/r/seduction27/07/24 02:58 AM
4

Gotcha, that’s good. And yeah man, don’t sweat it. Perfect reason to save any response til after you’re done. Better to have her wondering why you’re so distant than getting bored of bland texts.
/r/seduction27/07/24 01:06 AM
10

Don’t worry being good at text, dude - no attraction can really be built there. You didn’t send that good morning text, did you? When she asks what you’re up to just send a pic of some cool hobby you have and some short yet warm text about it. For example, if you play guitar you can send a pic and say, “serenading the neighbors til they call the cops on me. Wbu?” or some stupid shit like that. Keep it light and brief, don’t rush to respond, and realize that so long as she likes you and you act w…
/r/seduction27/07/24 12:53 AM
19

You might not be cooked, but regardless, there’s only one path of action here. Let things lie for a bit and see if she hits you up. In the future never double call or text unless there’s a legit time constraint to whatever you’re talking about. If her phone doesn’t get picked up, just text “just gave you call, hit me back when you can.” Anything more is chasing, and doesn’t do you any favors. It’s entirely possible her mood was not because of you. If it was related to you, she might just feel sh…
/r/seduction26/07/24 08:18 PM
1

It happens, man. Never forget that while men are (generally) after sex first and foremost, women are after the knowledge that they “got you hooked” (until it happens ofc, in which case they usually dip). I don’t mean to say you’re totally screwed, though. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way you think they will. Give it some time, see if she hits you up. If not, reach out again for another date in a few days.
/r/seduction26/07/24 07:55 PM
1

It’s a natural human tendency to attach value to something which appears out of your ability to attain. Assuming there’s some initial attraction to begin with, being indifferent and unresponsive taps into that tendency and works in your favor, especially with hot women who are used to having guys catering to them with money and attention all the time.
/r/seduction26/07/24 06:22 PM
1

Just own who you are and your situation despite of its “faults.” If you do with complete belief, others won’t really care usually. It’s not usually the situation that makes a dude undesirable but rather the very clear shame/insecurity he has in front of others on account of it.
/r/seduction25/07/24 06:41 PM
6

Go to goth/emo nights at clubs or concert halls. Ask them what band they’re there to see, tease them about whatever their answer is and then let the ball roll from there. Problem solved.
/r/seduction25/07/24 12:29 PM
1

Stay fit, stay clean and then just go out and approach. Act with honesty and self-respect and you’ll figure it out from there.
/r/seduction25/07/24 12:27 PM
3

You’re good dude, we all stumble. That’s why I keep sexual innuendo pretty much absent from texting a new woman until I’m sure there’s some investment present.
/r/seduction25/07/24 01:27 AM
10

This is it. Im guilty of ruining a few potential FWB situations by unintentionally giving off relationship hungry vibes. Never again. OP, after you sleep with a woman, always let her be the first to reach out, at least until after a few days have passed.
/r/seduction25/07/24 12:36 AM
4

You do it by assigning yourself goals that you want to achieve independently of women. Work hard on those and you’ll slowly be proving to yourself through action that you’re capable and worthy of success. Once you start, keep climbing and there’s a feeling of fulfillment, confidence and calm that follows which will be sensed by those around you. There’s also something to be said for activity and healthy outlets for aggression. As guys, we lose something in us when we surrender to a sedentary lif…
/r/seduction24/07/24 11:49 PM
4

For sure dude. Identify what makes you feel at ease with yourself, confident and all that. They’re after an energy, not just the superficial shit. All that stuff is good to have but if you don’t have the core sense of self, they’re gonna sense it and dip. That’s why some guys seem just naturally gifted. Don’t go fishing in the wrong waters.
/r/seduction24/07/24 07:11 PM
17

Believe me bro, I’ve been there and occasionally still fight to “figure it out.” But for the most part, it’s all pointless. The will to overthink comes from unused mental energy which channels itself into overthinking if not used in a productive way. Pick up a physical activity to give that an outlet and see if that changes things. I know for me, picking up a contact sport brought a mental clarity and an indifference I didn’t know I had. In the meantime, don’t overthink. Act with honesty and sel…
/r/seduction24/07/24 06:56 PM
126

One thing I’ve learned from all of the guys I’ve known who have been good with women is this: they don’t think about this shit, let alone overthink and assume blame. They’re too busy doing their own thing in life (and being plain stupid in some cases). Either way, their ignorance works in their favor: they don’t assume victimhood AND their absence of thought puts less obstacles in their way between seeing a hot woman and approaching her. Just like that, they’re miles ahead of the curve. Intellig…
/r/seduction24/07/24 06:41 PM
64

This has got to be one of the best comments I’ve seen in this god forsaken place. If there’s one conclusion I’ve come to, it’s that they’re after an energy before all other things, and this articulated that conclusion perfectly. Thanks!
/r/seduction24/07/24 05:55 PM
2

Gonna echo some other people here and say you don’t. Trying too hard to converse over text is not the move - no real attraction is going to be created there. Just reach out a few days after a date and see if she’s free for another. Usually if the date was good (meaning, she also thinks so), she’ll hit you up after saying some version of “thanks.” After that just say “same, I had a good time too.” Let it rest a few days and then re-engage and ask her out again. Over complicating it and thinking y…
/r/seduction23/07/24 09:49 PM
12

Don’t tell her. There’s absolutely nothing to be gained from that.
/r/seduction20/07/24 06:04 AM
5

There is no better indicator of a woman on the app for purely attention than that, bro. Automatic pass.
/r/seduction18/07/24 04:13 PM
10

Personal experience is all I’m really going off of here. Every time I deviate from those behaviors, results diminish, so that’s all I got.
/r/seduction18/07/24 12:01 PM
6

Ultimately it’s up to you. But keep some standards: don’t let it become an excuse not to take a chance with ones you actually want to be with.
/r/seduction18/07/24 12:42 AM
138

I’m no expert but what’s worked for me is “bedroom” eye contact that you hold longer than you feel you should, talking in a seductive tone (slow and deep), using word play and slight euphemism/sexually misreading things in a humorous way. Letting her talk more than you and connecting with her in a non-phony way. Playful teasing is also good.
/r/seduction17/07/24 11:11 PM
2

Nah, not what I meant. It’s a question of odds. If you make X thing a visible and dominating aspect of your appearance, you’ll be more readily received by those who are into that thing and less readily received by those who aren’t down with it (generally speaking). Doesn’t mean there’s no variability. Also what are you going about wearing that makes you so sure you’re going to be rejected? It better not be goregrind shirts and corpsepaint.
/r/seduction17/07/24 09:20 PM
1

As a fellow metal head (extreme metal, mind you) I can say two things: 1) I’ve been in your shoes and am ashamed of being so cringe, and 2) you’re hiding behind your music taste (and probable appearance) as a reason to not take a chance. Stop that. As for your question: unfortunately, people do judge off looks, so if you’re really trying to get a woman you have a choice: You can either accept that a good portion may reject you based on being not “normal” and tailor your approaches to the demogra…
/r/seduction17/07/24 08:25 PM
2

From experience, I can say that a lot of over thinking and stuff is a consequence of not being busy accomplishing self-assigned goals (that are independent from pick up). Excess energy that isn’t used gets funneled into rumination. As a chronic over thinker myself, one of the best things I’ve done is take up contact sports. There’s a reason it’s part of the “chad” trope: all at once you burn off extra energy, embrace your masculine side, build muscle and gain a sense of mental clarity that allow…
/r/seduction16/07/24 07:05 PM
6

If they don’t answer it means they can’t or don’t want to talk to you, end of story. Look into the conversations you’re having with them and try and isolate anything that may be perceived as off, low confidence, or pushy. Oftentimes women will give up a number just to avoid confrontation. That said, they’re also swamped in options and what not so never assume rejection. Send a text and wait for her to reply while you pursue other avenues.
/r/seduction16/07/24 02:58 AM
-2

“Prove it + your number”
/r/seduction15/07/24 08:41 PM
3

The only way to get better is to do what you suck at. You’ll learn as you go so long as you reflect and adjust based on feedback, but at the end of the day, reading and asking for advice is only gonna get you so far.
/r/seduction15/07/24 02:26 AM
1

Gotcha. Thanks bro.
/r/seduction15/07/24 02:23 AM
1

I feel it man. In my experience, if women really aren’t feeling a second date or don’t get a good vibe on the first, they have no problem ghosting. I’m gonna wait a few days and then cut straight to asking her out again. Her answer to that question is the only way to know for sure where things stand. Thanks for your input.
/r/seduction14/07/24 07:16 AM
28

This is a little too real. Vast majority of women I’ve met off the apps prove themselves to be quite…. different, sooner or later.
/r/seduction11/07/24 03:03 AM
2

Generally speaking, anything that implies dishonesty about intentions (because you’re scared to lose her by being direct) moves you into “creep” territory. Blunt sexual comments too soon into an interaction will also do this, even if you’re initially attractive. Unfortunately it’s also the case that you can also simply just not be attractive (to her), leading anything you do to be described as creepy. So it depends.
/r/seduction09/07/24 04:37 PM
8

Gonna give you some tough medicine here. Women (and men) can get real lax once they feel they don’t have any competition or reason to continue pleasing their partner. Women reflect your energy, but not in the way you might think. Basically, if you remain that badass dude she viewed you as when you first started dating, this whole issue shouldn’t exist. Low libido libido people do exist, but they don’t go around fucking and changing shit up once they get a relationship. Two options to fix this: 1…
/r/seduction08/07/24 02:16 AM
2

Assume it was legit - never assume a rejection before her words or actions tell you she has. Just be cool, have some empathy and get her out on another date. If she makes excuses and won’t meet up again, you’ll know your answer.
/r/seduction08/07/24 01:55 AM
3

No matter how good of a catch you may be, you’re never going to get to a point where women are going to consistently approach you. The most you’ll get is subtle interest cues from time to time at a higher rate than most dudes, but these can be hard to recognize if you’re not vigilant. At the end of the day, you just gotta get used to approaching. The common theme with every guy I’ve known who’s good with women is that, if anything, they suffer from lack of thinking! I know, it’s amazing! But the…
/r/seduction01/07/24 03:07 AM
1

I get what you mean, and I don’t mean to misrepresent the issue - I’m not a total “rain man.” I appreciate the power of some strategic embellishment or just full on humorous lying. The issue is more about honesty in signaling sexual attraction, especially when it comes to the end of the date or whenever you ask the woman back to your place. Pulling a Travis Bickle and being like “you wanna come back to mine and make out/fuck” is not usually met warmly.
/r/seduction28/06/24 10:48 PM
1

I understand exactly what you’re saying here. Thank you. The question I posed only makes sense when operating from a weak and “people pleasing” space: “how can I be even more people pleasing to get the results I want” You’re right. The answer is to just abandon the premise entirely and be straight forward.
/r/seduction28/06/24 06:59 PM
1

So the better alternative I would assume is to just be retarded honest, act how you want (within legal bounds) and say fuck it to whoever doesn’t get with the program?
/r/seduction28/06/24 06:27 PM
2

I mean, I get the concept abstractly and have managed to get a few notches under my belt so I’m clearly capable of doing things right. What gets me is feeling incapable of deliberately doing all this right and leaving a LOT on the table. Touch is something I’ve been working on getting more comfortable with. I often assumed in the past it was totally weird and unacceptable for me to do that, but now I’ll break the barrier in the beginning with a hug and if they’re wearing jewelry, I’ll take their…
/r/seduction28/06/24 12:29 PM
34

Just leave it. Best case she comes around, worst case you don’t hear from her again but didn’t get ghosted chasing a woman who didn’t want you. Win win.
/r/seduction27/06/24 02:18 PM
2

It’s because the primary motivator of incel thought is defeatism and self-hatred that they then project on the world and rationalize after the fact with “muh social science” and “statistics.” In the vast majority of cases, engaging with them in good faith is a losing move.
/r/seduction27/06/24 12:45 PM
2

Give her a compliment on anything other than her looks, keep a conversation going and drop socially calibrated indicators of interest for her to match or ignore. Based on that he can decide whether it’s worth it to pursue further.
/r/seduction13/06/24 02:20 PM
4

There are a few reasons things coulda gone down this way, and not all of them are under your control. I’ll start with the thing that IS under your control: You tried to “nice” your way into a date/attraction. What I mean by this is that you were indirect about your desire for her and felt like you had to concoct this whole “help me print” scheme to even get talking to her. If you truly felt like you were her equal, this “plan” wouldn’t have even been a consideration of yours. To a woman, doing s…
/r/seduction13/06/24 02:57 AM
3

Yeah it’s a cope; it’s easier to blame external and largely unchangeable factors than face the fact that they’re gonna have to face a shit ton of rejection before the going gets better. Plus then they have accept that they’ve been handicapping themselves and losing finite time to get good in the process. I’m a pretty good looking guy, but I was in the dark about what women are actually attracted to until relatively recently. If looks were all you needed, my life would be a lot easier when it com…
/r/seduction13/06/24 02:07 AM
2

You’ve been friendzoned bro. The fact that she’s down to meet up only in the company of other people is a clear indicator - if someone wants you to make a move, they’ll put you two in a position where you can.
/r/seduction12/06/24 07:40 PM
6

Yeah, you never wanna be salty about it, but stating your honest feeling about not wanting to be friends isn’t salty. Even if she leaves after that, it won’t feel that bad because you at least weren’t forced into that fucked up dynamic where she knows you want her.
/r/seduction11/06/24 08:23 PM
9

The only way out is through. No one gets around that - the naturals only happened to have that learning period earlier than most.
/r/seduction11/06/24 06:51 PM
1

I was joking! Invite her over or something.
/r/seduction11/06/24 06:49 PM
57

Sounds like she might be having a blast with you but may have someone else she’s considering - keeping you in the wings guessing and doing this mixed messages shit in the meantime in case it doesn’t work out. Or she may just think you’re around for the sex - when you stop going on fun dates, those butterflies can die and they start feeling a little used. The play is to be honest: “I like what we’ve got going and would like to continue this. I mean, aren’t you having fun? Her: ‘yes’ You: ‘Well th…
/r/seduction11/06/24 06:47 PM
6

“This will make a fine addition to my collection”
/r/seduction11/06/24 06:15 PM
9

Guys gotta get it through their heads that being attractive as a man isn’t muscles, money, or looks ALONE. In fact, one can do pretty well without those (or with average amounts of each). The fundamental basis of attraction for a man is his confidence, social savvy, and his ability (or apparent ability) to offer the woman an emotionally engaging lifestyle/experience. None of these require wealth, money, or looks to do well. Those are the paint and detailing of the car so to speak - might look ni…
/r/seduction11/06/24 04:13 PM
2

You’re operating from a place of putting her first in the hopes that doing so will bring her to stay. Don’t think like that; it brings about overthinking as you’re noticing and that overthinking to avoid a bad end will ironically bring that end about faster than just about anything else. I’ve done it multiple times. Instead, keep things honest and retain your dignity. Let her bring up marriage for two reasons: A) if she likes you in way you want her to, she inevitably will; B) proposing marriage…
/r/seduction11/06/24 04:08 PM
11

If they are texting you but aren’t down to meet up they’re using you for attention and you gotta dip. You may still have this one - can’t hurt to see which it was.
/r/seduction10/06/24 07:47 PM
3

Ideally you wouldn’t be in this situation, but your best bet is to play it off. Over thinking and reading into things is your worst enemy. Play into it: “sounds amazing, you’d save me a lot of travel expenses. Maybe you can even be a bridesmaid at our wedding.” If you’re not already a friend in her mind (real possibility unfortunately), this could put her in the defensive: she made a move to make you doubt whether she likes you and now she “MIGHT be a bridesmaid??” Like I said, you ideally would…
/r/seduction10/06/24 06:49 PM
5

I’d say move on from this one and learn from it. It’s hard to know exactly where things went wrong from one post, and it’s entirely possible you didn’t do anything to make this happen. Speaking more generally: make an explicit move towards sex on the first or second date. It’s possible she may have wanted things to move faster and lost attraction because things didn’t go down like that. The way I see it, you can’t lose by at least asking them back to yours after the date (assuming it went well, …
/r/seduction10/06/24 06:41 PM
24

What stopped you from seeing her in person last night? Just wait til you have a free evening and the morning of that day just say something like, “you feeling spontaneous tonight?” And invite her over or out for drinks and then to your place depending on how comfortable you both are. It also could totally be the case that she just wanted someone to sext and won’t be feeling it. Don’t explicitly reference the convo or assume that because it took place the rest necessarily will. Just assume attrac…
/r/seduction10/06/24 06:37 PM
2

If they were, you would know by now.
/r/seduction09/06/24 10:25 PM
1

I’ll start off by saying attractiveness can vary between women: you can be a 10 to some and an immediate pass for others. You can’t win them all. To your question though, one thing that “nice” and “boring” guys have in common is that they’re too “easy.” What I mean by that is that within a short amount of time, the woman sees that (though he may never say it), she’s “got him” - in other words, he’s overly invested in her perception of him. Once a woman knows she’s got your balls like that, she u…
/r/seduction08/06/24 06:29 PM
2

Another small thing: don’t text her saying you want to see her - if you’re feeling that way, take action and see when she’s available the next week. Action > words. Sounds like you’re doing good. A few days before you’re back be like “I’ll be back in town soon. Let’s grab XYZ together”
/r/seduction07/06/24 09:12 PM
10

Don’t sweat response times. If the content of her messages is positive and she follows up by actually being available and going on a date, it just means she’s either not warmed up to you or not that big of a texter. She’ll probably warm up and respond faster as time goes on and she gets to know you. In the meantime, don’t feel rushed to respond either. Keep messages light and aimed at meeting up as opposed to small talk. You’ll be good.
/r/seduction07/06/24 08:34 PM
2

This is my view as well. As soon as I sense any sort of funny business I either call it or dip depending on how well I know the woman. You get the treatment you allow.
/r/seduction07/06/24 12:20 AM
1

My bad that reads so terribly. Basically don’t over think and realize it only will get better.
/r/seduction06/06/24 06:32 PM
0

Gonna be honest with you, uh that’s a weird question and I don’t know if I’d want to give you and answer if I could. It’ll be awkward and that’s just how the first time is. You’ll get better. Overthinking stuff like this is part of the problem. Just let it happen and know it’ll get easier/less awk.
/r/seduction06/06/24 06:06 PM
2

I mean, think of it this way: “yes, this is going to be painful and awkward. But you know what would feel worse? Being in this same position in 5 years.” Face it head on and don’t be afraid to tell the woman what’s going on (once you’re in bed together!) you’ll be good. The tough part is realizing getting laid doesn’t change fundamental self image issues. I’m stuck at that part currently.
/r/seduction06/06/24 05:59 PM
11

I’m trying to get to the same place as you, and am not yet there but have made some progress. Some things you can do: - work out (you don’t need to be a body builder, but they like muscles even when they say they don’t) - ration your conversation: say hi and bye and make eye contact and all that so they know you’re not scared to talk to them, but don’t be initiating or needlessly prolonging conversations. Keep the subject matter light and not about you, if they ask you stuff, give vague answers …
/r/seduction06/06/24 05:58 PM
2

I was in this place until 22. You gotta just face it head on and realize it’s going to be awkward and emotionally painful as a man. I had many opportunities to lose my virginity but my anxiety and hesitancy stopped those from going down; and even brought a few women to think I was gay and/or be really resentful toward me for “rejecting” them. My only advice is to face it head on and realize that most of the “burden” on you as a man is coming from your own self and expectations. Most women won’t …
/r/seduction06/06/24 05:43 PM
60

I feel this. Guys who are overly obsessed with chasing women (myself included from time to time), are some of the more internally miserable people I’ve known. Great guys, don’t get me wrong, but they chase that high because the alternative is painful.
/r/seduction06/06/24 03:54 PM
2

Try those questions before even getting the number. Also, be sure to gauge whether she’s interested before giving the number - sometimes they just give them to be polite. Assuming you have some time to chat, make the most of it before getting a number. That’ll increase chances of things progressing after you part ways.
/r/seduction06/06/24 03:27 PM
0

First off, that’s a sick username. Now I’m no expert, but here are some things that have worked for me. Over text, keep things light and to the point - a quick pic of something cool you’re doing every now and again is fun, but don’t try and be connecting emotionally over text too much. Keep texting aimed at arranging a meet up. If you set a date way in advance, get her on the phone at some point in the interim to let your personality shine through. On dates, make sure your eye contact is strong …
/r/seduction06/06/24 02:57 PM
4

All the flashy titles and wealth are only ever helpful in getting your foot in the door more often than you might otherwise get a chance to. The real seductive aspects of a man are his confidence, social savvy, and ability to connect with a woman emotionally. If you don’t have those, your wealth won’t be that much help (unless you’re ok with gold diggers). There are plenty of rich people with miserable love lives.
/r/seduction06/06/24 02:46 PM
2

I see what you’re saying. Those guys were only offering that advice to answer the question of raising a body count, and added that it’s neither rewarding or healthy. Could you lay out basic pointers for pursuing as opposed to chasing? I know not to double text, but some aspects of it are still tough. Some people say, “if she’s not around on the days you suggest, leave the ball in her court.” While others say never to leave it up to her and instead say, “tell her you’ll catch her another time and…
/r/seduction05/06/24 03:31 PM
1

Gotcha bro. Yeah, I try and have that vibe in person. On apps it’s more direct: they’re either with it or they’re not. When I said they’re being difficult, it’s on apps, which I think is a lot more of a them thing than it is me, because I literally don’t say anything that comes off as needy: “Burning question” “Yeah” “What are you lookin for on here” “Xyz” “Let’s grab some drinks and see where things go” This is my approach basically on apps. Maybe not the best “game” but beats pointless small t…
/r/seduction05/06/24 12:25 PM
0

Don’t approach them with the goal being a number or sex. Approach with the goal of an engaging conversation. If you have that, chances of everything else happening go up; but if you go in with anything else in mind they can generally sense it and get turned off. Open situationally and ask her about herself. Gauge her receptiveness to you by the depth of her answers and whether or not she asks any back. Assuming she’s not giving one word answers, weave in stories about yourself that are relevant …
/r/seduction02/06/24 05:12 PM
30

You gotta just bite the bullet and ask them out within about 3 to 5 messages max. Don’t waste time trying to “warm the waters up.” I’ve had more success asking them out in my opening message/second message than I ever did by trying to do small talk on the app beforehand. You’re not going to create or build attraction substantially over text anyway. The biggest factor in whether things work out is decided before you send your opener - that being whether or not she actually likes you. Shoot your s…
/r/seduction01/06/24 03:10 AM
5

“I don’t find you attractive but I want attention so I’m going to indirectly shame you for even broaching a question which would reveal the true dynamic of this situation.”
/r/seduction31/05/24 03:19 PM
5

A lot of women on apps are pretty dtf most of the time. Ask them out on a low stakes date near yours or her place and then ask if she wants to go back after if the vibes are good.
/r/seduction30/05/24 10:04 PM
1

You answered your own question. I’m not about to say I’ve completely “made it” but I’m certainly more confident now than I used to be. Some of it is experience and simply having more at-bats, but another part of it is realizing that on a certain level we’re all acting in the public sphere anyway. Combine that knowledge with the will to go after what you want and an imperviousness to rejection and you’re golden.
/r/seduction30/05/24 02:12 PM
10

Dating is like marketing/sales. Know your target audience, tailor your appearance/presentation to match, become the best version of that archetype you can, and then put yourself out there in that demographic. It’s not the most authentic, but if you’re intent on hitting that demographic, you gotta think like a salesman. Get a haircut, wear “preppy” clothes, look “normal” and make inroads to whatever prep social scene is near you.
/r/seduction29/05/24 02:39 PM
2

I feel you on the attention seeking ubiquity. It’s cause apps make it easy to harvest attention with little investment and the sheer over abundance of options. The only real answer on our end to this is to be the most attractive we can be, be direct from the start, and not tolerate this nonsense.
/r/seduction29/05/24 02:35 PM
2

Honestly, I would say in the vast majority of cases it’s safe to translate a request like that as: “I’m not really about you but I’d like some attention, so please provide it to me whenever I feel like talking.” From there you either dip or say “ok” and proceed to not give it to them. They either were playing hard to get but will change once they realize you’re not gonna dish out free attention or they’ll ghost cause they were never into it. Either way you win. The more I learn about this shit t…
/r/seduction29/05/24 01:34 PM
4

Something low effort but engaging. The real factor in if she responds is less what you say and more if she likes you so don’t overthink it.
/r/seduction28/05/24 09:55 PM
2

Learned a lot from the guy. It’s the main reason why I now shoot the shot within 3 messages max, whereas before I woulda been that dude chatting for a week or so before getting essentially the same result. You’re right: in person or online, they know if they’re down within the first few seconds/when they swipe. You can talk your way out of attraction but pretty much never into it.
/r/seduction28/05/24 07:31 PM
2

Totally dude. I made this post to try and maximize my opportunities, but I’m convinced that in 99% of cases, matches that meet up have made up their mind whether they’re going to before even chatting. Most people are just on the app for on-demand validation, but I was trying to see if someone out there manages to transform this behavior to actual meetings. So far it would seem unlikely.
/r/seduction28/05/24 12:46 AM
1

Gotcha. Any reason 5 - 10? I’ve been trying to do that within 3 - 5 and I’m thinking maybe that comes off as to thirsty. It works sometimes and I might be overthinking it, but have you tried other approaches and come to this one by trial and error?
/r/seduction27/05/24 03:46 PM
1

How do you guide things from opener to date with those girls? What does bold mean in that context?
/r/seduction27/05/24 03:36 PM
14

I have a friend who opens with shit like “you ever had it eaten from the back?” and similar lines. He just doesn’t give a fuck and gets a few DTF girls and doesn’t waste time on the rest. Don’t overthink the opener and when in doubt, remember that being bold > playing it safe.
/r/seduction27/05/24 03:26 PM
1

So be even more bold and take it or leave it. Message received
/r/seduction27/05/24 03:23 PM
1

Used to entertain this nonsense but got sick of it getting me nowhere so I do that now. My main question here was to gauge whether there is any way to win so as not to leave shit on the table if I didn’t have to.
/r/seduction27/05/24 02:36 PM
1

The consensus right now is: put her on the back burner and focus on the ones who are more eager. Text sporadically and circle back to the idea of meeting later.
/r/seduction27/05/24 02:21 PM
2

Thanks this is as close to a direct answer to my question as I’ve gotten.
/r/seduction27/05/24 02:19 PM
1

The question is more so: how do you navigate after she says something to the effect of “let’s chat more before making plans” without becoming a text buddy?
/r/seduction27/05/24 02:17 PM
6

Totally get what you’re saying here. My buddy’s natural way of being is bulldozing - he’ll be extremely polarizing from the beginning with a mentality of “she’s either with it or she’s not, idc.” Consequently his lay count is pretty high because he manages to speed run approaches, select for DTF chicks and save time on lukewarm women. I use a similar approach although I’m less polarizing than he is; more so just direct. This is obviously too much for some women, though. With those, I’ll combine …
/r/seduction27/05/24 04:34 AM
1

Being yourself is great and all, but the issue with most dudes for which this advice doesn’t work with is that they have trouble being direct about their intentions/making moves and setting boundaries. Being yourself is great for building comfort and connection with similar people, but it’s not gonna suddenly have women making those moves happen. You still have to lead.
/r/seduction25/05/24 11:30 PM
6

The vast majority of traits that allow “naturals” to do what they do are learnable. The real differentiators between them and the rest are time spent and indifference to rejection.
/r/seduction25/05/24 08:30 PM
16

Correct.
/r/seduction25/05/24 02:04 PM
10

“Me to know, you to find out.” Or “Princess in the streets, whore in the sheets.” For real though: this woman is already trying to get you to submit to her before even meeting you. Proceed at your own risk. This is the woman equivalent of: “before I commit to a date with you, do you spit or swallow?”
/r/seduction25/05/24 02:03 PM
2

Somethin to always keep in mind is that most people are on dating apps as a background validation source while they sort out other relationships/chase their “ideal” person. Never take a rejection on these seriously. That said, I find the best approach is either a generic (open ended) opener or a humorous/qualifying remark on their appearance or profile. From there you should be shooting your shot within 3 to 5 messages. I’ve gotten the “I needa know you more” thing before, which can be an honest…
/r/seduction25/05/24 02:01 PM
22

This is way too logical. Questions like this are fine in the very beginning, but you gotta lead the conversation away from that territory. Use their answers to springboard into other conversation slightly related but more emotionally charged: make purposeful (comedic) misinterpretation, explore qualifiers and make lighthearted assumptions. The logical side of life and conversation are antithetical to building an underlying sexual tension and on top of that, it’s just plain boring for both people…
/r/seduction25/05/24 01:53 PM
2

It’s a basic human inclination: “what others are into is alluring because it’s evidently interesting and (apparently) safe”
/r/seduction25/05/24 01:49 PM
7

A lot of the pain rejection can bring is dulled over time. The more it happens the less you feel it effect you (though on some level it always will). Something that helps me is to reframe the situation: instead of “damn I am shit and blah blah,” say, “I did it. I approached unlike 80% of guys would. Sure I may have made some mistakes but those are correctable.” And then try again. Rejection is part of the game. And as much as it hurts to go through it, the guilt of not getting out there when you…
/r/seduction24/05/24 08:25 PM
3

Both count, but in general women are the opposite of guys in the sense that they prioritize intangibles over tangibles. Your looks CAN get your foot in the door, but confidence and social skills will get you a lot more success.
/r/seduction24/05/24 08:05 PM
5

Dudes usually think there’s some contradiction when they see a “loser” dude going out with a hot woman, but there isn’t. In spite of their “bum” status, these dudes have a force of character and self-assuredness - that is women are attracted to. When it comes to cultivating true attraction, wealth, looks, and niceness don’t count for much unless you’ve got those two things down first.
/r/seduction24/05/24 07:59 PM
1

Reading theory can be helpful, but only as a tool to iron out a spot you’re having trouble with. Beyond that, it’s a cope to rationalize not approaching: “just one more book and I’ll be ready then for sure!” The more I’ve gotten into this game the more caveman style thinking becomes the clear and best path: “I see something hot, I’m gonna go get it or (figuratively) die with honor doing so.”
/r/seduction24/05/24 02:28 AM
2

Open the convo however seems appropriate and then ask her out within the first 3 - 5 messages. If they’re feeling it, they’re feeling it; if not (anything but a yes), move on. You’re not gonna text your way into attraction on an app if it didn’t substantially exist to be begin with. Be direct about asking them out and you don’t even need to phrase it like a question. “You seem cool. Let’s go do X activity…”
/r/seduction24/05/24 02:22 AM
1

A good majority of flirting (and being attractive in general) is nonverbal. Body posture/orientation, open v. closed body language, micro-expressions in conversation, etc.
/r/seduction24/05/24 02:15 AM
7

The only way out of that is through it, and it’s only gonna hurt more the longer you put it off. Whenever you have trouble doing something that you honestly wanna do, say this: “yes this is uncomfortable and may very well hurt, but you know what will hurt more? Being in this same place 10 years from now.” Acknowledge the discomfort and keep going.
/r/seduction24/05/24 02:12 AM
1

This sub: “confidence bro, confidence, you need to have it. It’s everything.” guy has borderline delusional confidence This sub: “you’re gay. Cringe. Seek help!!”
/r/seduction23/05/24 06:25 PM
2

Been here. It’s cause when you’re attracted to someone, you’re gonna make slip ups in social conduct (borderline subconscious ones even) that signal to the woman in question that you’re into her. If she’s not into you to begin with, then it’s whatever. If she possibly coulda been into you, the combination of you not making a move AND signaling interest work against you. She starts thinking, “damn I thought this guy was possibly the shit, and I know he’s into me. But if he is the shit, why’s it t…
/r/seduction23/05/24 06:13 PM
2

This is it. That’s why the only real winning move is to break the ice and pop the question of a date within a quick timeframe: if they’re down, they’re down; otherwise, you’ll weed out attention seekers without much investment.
/r/seduction23/05/24 06:02 PM
18

Sounds like you messed up, but she cares enough about you to give it a go again. Use this as an opportunity to take her out somewhere nice to make up for things, and maybe stop drinking too. Outside of that, just act normal - like you were before this all exploded. Things might be tense for a moment, but you don’t need to make it worse by acting all weird. Don’t let this initiate a reversal where you’re suddenly all “ultra nice” and stuff. Just ride it out and don’t let it happen again.
/r/seduction23/05/24 05:19 PM
2

“Grab a bite to eat and see where things go” is usually a fine enough way to make something happen while not potentially turning her off by saying “I wanna just hook up for now”
/r/seduction31/03/24 01:10 AM
1

This is true and one of the biggest cliches in the dating game because it’s so true. I’ve had more success indirectly through working on myself than I have through cold approaches or anything contrived like that. The best part is, once you get hooked on becoming a better person for your own sake and chasing your mission, you come to like that almost more than dating. That’s when things really get good. Most people are searching for someone to look up to/follow. If you cultivate yourself, you’re …
/r/seduction07/07/23 03:12 PM
1

Simple first date, always. The second category should be reserved for women who’ve earned that kind of attention. All my first dates have just been walks. No spending money on the woman, no drinks, none of that shit. In a backwards kind of way, it works in my favor: the over arching message is “here’s me and my personality. If you like it, cool. If not, I’ll (literally) walk away. I don’t feel the need to try and buy or impress you into wanting to be with me.” So far, it’s worked pretty well and…
/r/seduction15/09/22 05:09 AM
1

Meet at the date location.
/r/seduction15/09/22 05:02 AM
1

Directly or indirectly inviting yourself over to their places (or them to yours) is a bad move for a first date. For everyone’s safety, have your first dates in a public and populated environment.
/r/seduction15/09/22 04:46 AM
1

Devoting yourself to carving a kingdom of your own will is essential here. Work hard to improve your own life for you and don’t just sit around and consume trash food/media all day (not saying you specifically do, just stating generally). Neediness with people is like neediness for a drug: if you don’t like your own life/personhood, the cravings are all the more intense. Build a life and personality you don’t feel an urge to escape from.
/r/seduction15/09/22 04:40 AM
1

Work on making the date enjoyable for both of you. Putting effort into shit like this is like overthinking humor: it’s not gonna work. Inside jokes will naturally develop with time.
/r/seduction15/09/22 04:35 AM
8

Going off what you’ve said, it seems like the first two times things didn’t work out, no one was really at fault. I’d say wait and don’t send another date text. The ball’s in her court right now. If she does respond, make sure to ask for her availability first so that she can’t corner you into looking too desperate. If she can’t commit to a date, leave her with a “Well, hit me up when you sort out your schedule and we can set something up” or something. Nothing bitter, just something that clearl…
/r/seduction15/09/22 04:31 AM
1

Stick to a quick introduction and plan making texts to start. Once you have sex, things can get a bit more involved over text over time (most women really like texting), but let her lead in that realm.
/r/seduction08/09/22 04:21 AM
1

If you wait too long, some women will just give up trying. Push for sex earlier in the courting process.
/r/seduction08/09/22 04:04 AM
2

There’s no one correct way to do it. State your intent clearly, and if she’s into you, she’ll go along with it.
/r/seduction08/09/22 04:01 AM
1

There’s this fucked up sense of “being ashamed for wanting to fuck” some dudes have in scenarios like yours, leading to your problem. Sometimes you gotta be bold. That is to say: invite her back to your place or see if she’ll let you visit hers.
/r/seduction08/09/22 03:58 AM
1

One word answers or those answers generally mean “go away”. Don’t put in effort if she’s not helping.
/r/seduction08/09/22 03:53 AM
18

Make more eye contact than you normally would, and say their name occasionally in conversation. Light teasing/assumptions can be fun, but gauge it based on your guys’ familiarity
/r/seduction08/09/22 03:52 AM
1

I was (and still kind of am) the same way. Very literal/robotic at times, but even so, there’s a way to make it work. Seeing as these women are already into you, it’s literally as easy as going up to them and saying, “hey, you seem pretty interesting. Wanna go out sometime?” It’s super quick, but the vagueness and directness of the delivery can really work in your favor. One I haven’t tried yet is “hey (name), how’s it going?” Followed with “what’s your favorite (applicable type of media)?” Rega…
/r/seduction08/09/22 03:48 AM
2

I actually went through the same thing with my girlfriend. Learned the hard way not to just blurt out logical fixes to the problems she was complaining about. Most of the time, when a woman complains about stuff, she’s actually just venting an emotion which needs to be let loose. The actual content of the complaint is not so much a cry for help so much as a vessel for the emotions. Definitely be there for her (especially if you’re in a relationship), but don’t just spout fixes.
/r/seduction08/09/22 03:41 AM
1

I’d say, unless you’re with a woman in an actual relationship, don’t FT between dates or at all. In that context, if they’re just looking for time/attention with no intention of fucking, they get ALL the benefits with no risk of you actually making a move. It’s the perfect tool for women like that.
/r/seduction31/08/22 02:29 PM
1

A lot of people think they have a sex addiction cause they like it and want it all the time. Newsflash: most people are like that. True sex addiction isn’t fun. In that context, sex is like any other drug: it’s used to numb pain. Sex addicts seek sex to the detriment of other aspects of life, and don’t really care because sex is one of the only respites from whatever pain they’re feeling normally.
/r/seduction31/08/22 02:25 PM
10

If it’s a woman you don’t know well, send one text and if it doesn’t get a reply, move on. If it’s one you know (have been on a few dates with) you can follow up if situations make that sensible. Only do it once, though: they have to put in effort too. Seeing as you’ve apparently sent multiple with no response, I’d say move on. This person isn’t into you/isn’t worth your time.
/r/seduction31/08/22 02:21 PM
3

This is the mindset to have. There was nothing wrong with what/how he sent the message.
/r/seduction31/08/22 02:19 PM
1

If she put in the effort to get your number from a friend, odds are she’s into you too. Maybe it was your wording and the abruptness of the text’s content. Coming on too strong like that can give the impression of a dude who doesn’t get many dates so he feels he needs to “seal the deal” as quick as possible in order to get one. It’s like having a sales person start showing off merch to you without greeting/building comfort with you the second you set foot in a store; a bit off putting. But that …
/r/seduction31/08/22 02:16 PM
3

Don’t throw in the towel like that. Work on losing weight if you want, but don’t think that you need to in order to date. If you’re humorous, fun, and confident it doesn’t matter that much. One of the more “fuck boy” type dudes I knew in college was overweight and smelled like shit, yet he was funny, had a lot of friends and was confident so he did well. But to that last question: you’re definitely going to have a better success rate irl, as much of your personality is not going to be able to sh…
/r/seduction31/08/22 02:10 PM
2

+1 for this reply. The only thing worse than pretending to be “too busy” is to not calibrate it correctly and show your hand.
/r/seduction31/08/22 02:06 PM
5

You could do that, or you could use it as a moment to tease/flirt.
/r/seduction31/08/22 01:58 PM
1

Simp and recluse are not different poles on a spectrum. However, if you find yourself to be a true recluse and not wanting/needing any human contact, you may be on THE spectrum (joke). Seriously though, I get what you’re saying and of course there’s a middle ground between being a simp and a “normal person” in social interactions. Just don’t give women frivolous compliments or side with them in debates/arguments if you don’t truly believe in what their side is. Essentially, give them only as muc…
/r/seduction31/08/22 01:54 PM
5

I remember skimming it a long time ago. From what I remember there’s some good stuff in it. It’s a shame a lot of the shit covered really should be considered common sense/normal for everyone to learn growing up.
/r/seduction27/08/22 07:48 PM
2

Go out and look. There are actually plenty of guys who would probably be willing to be in such a relationship, even if they’re not projecting that message out publicly. Try searching on fetish sites and stuff or something.
/r/seduction27/08/22 05:09 PM
3

That’s a pretty natural place to be for your age. If relationships aren’t your thing, don’t be in them. Enjoy your 20s and have fun. Or, you could work out an open/swinging relationship if you have any attachment to relationships as an idea still.
/r/seduction27/08/22 05:07 PM
3

Your friend’s correct. Interact with her via social media as little as possible.
/r/seduction27/08/22 05:05 PM
3

You pretty much got it. Nice guys often also engage in covert contracts too.
/r/seduction27/08/22 04:40 PM
1

Yes. If you’re considering it, you should do it. There are rarely gonna be such good opportunities for it later in life, as college is the crossroads for most people between having enough free time / being willing to meet and/or hook up. One thing I will say is to be calculated about it: depending on how big your college is, you could get a reputation as a dude who asks out every woman in the room. That’s not gonna help you. If you think it’s the case, you could also join clubs and stuff and the…
/r/seduction27/08/22 04:36 PM
1

I’ve found knowing a lot of people (even just their names) in a given situation is a massive benefit to you. If you can go to a place and casually greet a lot of people by their names/show that people know you, it’s a huge help. I personally don’t like the whole adoration of money/possessions that some people use to “demonstrate value.” Unless there’s a real confidence backing it up, it kinda comes off as compensatory: “not sure you’ll actually like me, so here’s a bunch of shiny stuff.” Idk tho…
/r/seduction26/08/22 01:58 PM
2

If it’s only the second date, you don’t wanna be texting non stop between now and then. Hell, regardless how long you’ve known her, you shouldn’t be doing that. Also, it sounds like you’re putting in more effort than she is. I highly doubt she’s consulting randos on the internet as to how to keep you entertained until Saturday. Just dial back your convo/responses, do your own thing and wait for Saturday to come. If she wants to text a lot, she’ll give you stuff to work with. Don’t assume she’ll …
/r/seduction26/08/22 01:56 PM
1

Humor, light teasing, dirty innuendos, etc. Sometimes even a well placed look can do wonders. Nonverbal stuff is important too, like eye contact and making physical contact at appropriate times/places. Just don’t layer on compliments and shit and expect that to pass as flirting.
/r/seduction26/08/22 01:50 PM
3

If she was into you like that, she wouldn’t have given you that response. Best to drop it and stop giving her attention. Also, like others have said, don’t ever say you like them blatantly (especially before you’ve met). It ruins all mystery and impetus to meet for her. Even if she was kinda interested, you let her know that she “got you” before even meeting face to face.
/r/seduction26/08/22 01:48 PM
8

Agreed. Flowers are pretty much never a good idea.
/r/seduction26/08/22 01:43 PM
10

…don’t get her flowers. Come on, that’s a dating move from 1900. You were (hopefully) treating eachother as equals before this date. Why should that now change and you be the one to do shit for her now? (Not to say you shouldn’t get your partner gifts; just never on a first date). Something worth asking yourself here is: have you always wanted to date her and just didn’t have the guts to spring the question til now? If that’s the case, don’t worry about “ruining the friendship.” Don’t hand hold/…
/r/seduction26/08/22 01:42 PM
1

It depends on a lot of things, and you can’t just make a blanket statement like that anyway. I didn’t even read it, but I can assure you that thread is full of a bunch of pessimistic losers who are bitter because they either got rejected or don’t have the guts to even try, so they’ll shit on the very idea of approaching as “pointless”.
/r/seduction26/08/22 01:31 PM
4

Dude, you had it. It’s not whether they bail (things do legit come up); it’s whether they work with you to meet in spite of it. I get it, that experience hurts, but she was trying to work with you. If she really didn’t care she woulda just left you hanging with a “sorry can’t make it” or worse yet, just ghosted. If she bailed on you twice, that response would have been warranted. Even then, a ghosting or some conversation terminating statement is better than a grand declaration. Don’t state your…
/r/seduction26/08/22 01:26 PM
11

That was a lot of words to essentially say “women don’t want to get murdered” (a desire that isn’t exclusive to them). How I’ve always seen it is: people (not just women) want to associate as equals with the people they’re dating. Let’s be honest with ourselves here: most dudes who complain about the whole “nice guy” thing are only really nice around women they want to bang/be with, yet don’t have the guts to just come clean and face possible rejection. Being nice in order to get something is cr…
/r/seduction25/08/22 04:25 PM
3

The situation doesn’t look great for your friend. Contrary to what some people like to say, women flaking on dates doesn’t always mean they aren’t into you. Sometimes it’s a shit test and other times it’s legit. Either way, you gotta be cool with it happening. Also, he really should have sprung this idea of a date sooner and not chatted endlessly before, but that’s kinda besides the point. What really matters here is if they’re willing to work with you to set something up if the initially propos…
/r/seduction24/08/22 09:44 PM
9

You’re overthinking it.
/r/seduction24/08/22 07:44 PM
20

I’ve actually found that not kissing her on the first date (or in public ever) is a great way to build tension/inject a bit of mystery into the situation. Rarity indicates value, and in a world where kissing on the first date is pushed as “the norm,” not doing so can actually work in your favor.
/r/seduction24/08/22 07:25 PM
0

Ask more questions than you answer. Women are generally pretty chatty and even more so if they’re into you. As for what to talk about; just chat about anything. So long as she knows you’re into her as more than just a friend, you shouldn’t worry about having to come up with topics and whatnot. You guys are equals; you aren’t her entertainment. One of the best ways to not end up in the friend zone is to set things up right from the get go. What I mean is to be direct with the woman you’re interes…
/r/seduction09/08/22 06:11 AM
0

I get what you’re saying and approaching on the street is incredibly difficult, let alone actually dating someone you randomly meet there. However, this “feminist ideology” stuff is really not helping your case or mindset.
/r/seduction08/08/22 04:18 PM
1

Another user named going_to_hell or something commented here with a perfect dialogue example for you. It looked good to me. But instead of suggesting a day to meet for the date, ask “what day are you free this week?” Or something. It won’t get you boxed in as easily into looking too available.
/r/seduction08/08/22 01:47 AM
2

Don’t send that hypothetical. Use it as a springboard for a much less high stakes meeting idea, as has been suggested by previous commenters. Always make sure to meet in a public, busy place when dating online. You never know who you’re actually talking to.
/r/seduction08/08/22 01:36 AM
1

You’re doing good, but still at the point where you wanna keep it short. If you asked questions and she left you on read, that’s not great, but you’re not out of the game yet. Give her the energy she’s giving: even if you are on your phone all the time, don’t feel like you need to respond quick just cause you see the message come through. Returning messages super quick all the time can come across as desperate/you don’t have your own life. Reach out during the week with something short and not e…
/r/seduction03/08/22 08:08 PM
1

Pull back. If she’s cold via text or won’t set a date, stop feeding her attention. Leave the door open, but walk away. If she’s actually into you, she’ll come around.
/r/seduction03/08/22 12:07 PM
1

It’s good to stay in contact, but two things are important here: you’re not her dancing monkey to amuse her during her trip, and two: she’s out there living her life, she may not want to text as much during that time, and it won’t mean she forgot about you or doesn’t like you. Reach out with something now and again but don’t be putting in more effort than she does.
/r/seduction03/08/22 12:05 PM
93

humor confidence not taking themselves too seriously easy going, yet not a pushover in the name of “being chill” being ok walking away from a situation if what they’re looking for isn’t being offered not beating around the bush; making intentions known being good at smooth talk/conversation having a large social circle being conventionally attractive
/r/seduction03/08/22 12:01 PM
1

Part of it is the age you and they are, most young men and women aren’t looking to settle down so much as explore and have fun. As another person here said, try looking in other places for a partner; where ever you’re looking now seems to be filled with casual daters.
/r/seduction03/08/22 11:56 AM
1

It’s alright to have some down time every now and again. Let it wash over you and don’t try to force your energy to come back. Some women will see you as a catch and others won’t, regardless of their attractiveness. That’s just how it be.
/r/seduction03/08/22 11:51 AM
1

Personally, I’d only consider asking out a coworker if she/I were planning on leaving the job soon. It’s a bad move to mix trying to hook up with your main source of income.
/r/seduction03/08/22 11:48 AM
1

Texting varies from person to person. Some women respond well to that sort of “bad boy” texting, but others don’t. For instance, the woman I’m with now has let me know that my ability to actually have a conversation over text and not just responding with “idk” or whatever was one of the things that got her hooked on me. Of course, attraction has to precede that; you can’t get a girl into you by being accommodating/chatty over text (as you’re learning). The examples of your texting style you gave…
/r/seduction03/08/22 11:45 AM
1

Prolonged eye contact can mean attraction, but it’s gotta be coupled with a “tone” for lack of better words. Some people make more eye contact than others, however, there’s a look in someone’s eyes that you can tell means they’re undressing you in their mind. Regardless, as someone else here said: go for it. It’s a win win situation. Also, don’t shower her with compliments while making no effort to get her on a date.
/r/seduction03/08/22 11:32 AM
6

A lot of women don’t care if a dude is a virgin or not, but MILFs generally go after younger dudes for their stamina and their willingness to do a “no strings attached” hookup. They’re looking for an easy and energetic fuck. If you’re a virgin, it’s easy to see how she would suddenly change her mind, assuming she’s after what I described above. She doesn’t wanna have to teach someone how to fuck. Don’t feel bad though, you’ll find someone else who doesn’t care.
/r/seduction03/08/22 11:27 AM
2

That’s good, but you don’t even need to block her. That would show you’re butthurt over her not reaching out. May as well just leave the door open.
/r/seduction03/08/22 11:19 AM
2

This is gonna be super cliche, but here goes: go to the gym/exercise; not only for how you’ll end up looking, but what it’ll do for your confidence/mental health. It’s super helpful. cultivate your own personality; do shit, enjoy what you enjoy, gain skills. It’ll make you and your life more interesting, as well as give you stuff to do before meeting a woman you want to be in a relationship with. It’s a turn off to get the sense someone’s entire existence/personality revolves around being what t…
/r/seduction03/08/22 05:39 AM
1

I used to really over think this. If you’re seeing a woman steadily, and she’s making the effort to do the whole “good morning/night” thing, go ahead and answer whenever you want. Ultimately, you should just message when/what you want. The only issue you should worry about is if you notice her continually waiting hours to reply (assuming you answer relatively quick). If that happens, just dial it back to mirror her. Make sure to be living your own life and be busy; she won’t die if you don’t ans…
/r/seduction03/08/22 05:26 AM
1

Go out and fail a few times. You gotta get comfortable with the idea that you can (and will) flop sometimes. Once you realize it’s not actually that bad, a huge weight is lifted off you. Also, a big +1 for the “don’t hesitate” advice. Anxiety generally grows in proportion to the amount of time between noticing the attractive woman and you actually asking her out.
/r/seduction03/08/22 05:17 AM
3

I agree with another dude here: every girl is different. When they like you, they aren’t going to all express it the same way. Another thing to realize is that “taking the initiative” manifests itself differently for women. Societally, being “too direct” is seen as a weird thing when coming from a woman often. Sometimes, putting themselves in physical proximity to you and sparking up seemingly innocent conversation is them taking the initiative and giving you an opening to escalate things. Very …
/r/seduction03/08/22 05:14 AM
2

You could let people know passively via your bio, but be careful with how you word it. “Fresh out of a relationship and just looking to have fun right now” or something which allows both parties to be on the same page from the get-go.
/r/seduction03/08/22 05:06 AM
1

Sounds like she might be less into things than you are, or is shy. If you’re constantly initiating convo, try pulling back for a few days and see if she messages you. If she’s into you, she’ll start wondering where you went. If not, then you know not to invest so much time and effort into someone who won’t do the same.
/r/seduction03/08/22 05:03 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter