How to hook a girl?

recyclablebanthas · 2018-08-10T03:43:15+00:00

1

I was asked "how do you hook a girl" This guy was having trouble getting the girl interested in the conversation and asking him questions back.

There's a mistake in his assumptions. One doesn't make a person interested. You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

And if he's having trouble with people not being interested in the conversation, then it's because he's probably too focused himself while talking, and not enough on what she has said. Few people like to be talked at all night. That offers the other person nothing as incentive to continue.

If one is actively listening to what the other person is saying, and asking follow-up questions about what they've heard, then the other person will become interested because everyone loves to talk about themselves.

One doesn't need to "get" someone to ask questions back. If you get them talking about themselves, most people will come around to asking questions.

2

He then asked if it's ok to use canned material.

Here's the issue. He's getting into trouble because he's too focused on what he wants to say, and not listening to the other person enough and not following up well enough on what they say.

Canned material won't help with that. Because canned material is just more of the same: A guy talking about what he wants to talk about, only it has no connection to the other person and it's more like a one-sided performance.

At best, canned material is a delaying action and you've bought some time you could use to connect later on if they stick around. If you luck out and hit on something that the other person finds interesting, then you're entertaining them. But you still haven't hooked them or connected with them.

3

One quick fix that can help get girls more interested is to avoid asking too many questions. Start to throw in some statements and cold reads which will make the conversation a million times more interesting.

It's a really common misconception that questions themselves are the problem.

The problem is really a lack of active listening.

Good follow-up questions are f--king gold. When you can demonstrate that you've been listening and have really thought about what someone has said, you get someone's attention. That can only happen when you're actively listening.

Without active listening, questions turn into the guy constantly changing the subject. making it clear that they haven't been paying attention at all, and coming off like they might as well be talking to themselves.

Trying to phase out questions in favor of statements and cold reads (which are basically stabs in the dark; guesses), doesn't fix the problem that would very easily be fixed with better attentiveness.

4

For example, instead of asking "so what do you do for fun?" say "You seem like the kind of girl that...(likes to do crazy shit, is always down to party, etc...) Whether you are right or wrong, you will eventually find out the right answer because she will say "No, I actually like to..." You are going to find the answer with either route but 1 is way more fun and engaging than the other.

Using this as an example, there's actually nothing wrong with asking what someone does for fun. They key is that you have to actively listen to the answer and follow up well on it. Whatever answer she says, you ought to be following up with some sort of question that examines what her motivations or emotions are regarding what she said she's into.

If you make a guess about her, all you're doing is displaying assumptions. This might result in a false feeling of connection if you guess right, but then that's a flimsy foundation that is blown away if she realizes that you've only guessed at it and it had nothing to do with you actually being insightful and actually getting her.

And worst case, you're wrong and she's put off by the assumption.

5

Sometimes I like to make this guess absolutely ridiculous and weirdly specific, but thats just my sense of humor.

An example of that could be "You seem like the kind of girl that will stay out till 3 a.m. even though the bars close at 2 and just wonder the streets looking for street signs without vowels in them."

On the other hand, this is hilarious and does show a really great example of being playful. If someone's style is goofy, then this sort of thing can be good to establish a fun tone to the conversation.

It doesn't replace the need for active listening, though.

youlovethisish · 2018-08-09T22:18:49+00:00

Dig it. Can't wait to read more comments on this.

MiZiSTiK · 2018-08-09T22:36:41+00:00

Be good looking, all you need

Title	How to hook a girl?
Author	Nicks1234
Upvotes	23
Comments	4
Date	August 9, 2018 5:24 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/95ygv5/how_to_hook_a_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-hook-a-girl.1451391 https://theredarchive.com/post/1451391

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