A common mistake I see a lot of men (including my past self) and women do when it comes to convos on dating apps or on dates is that they approach it all with a bad mindset and a negative attitude.

They are either way too serious, too deep in their head and overthinking things, send out vibes of negativity (anger, neediness or resentment) or try too hard to control the outcome by putting on a mask and thus hiding their true self (you can't feel loved by others when you fake who you are).

The key to stop letting convos with people you are otherwise a good match with fizzle out is to:

  • Feel good about yourself, your life and everything else before you approach or have a convo. People feel attracted to the vibes you send out, to how you make them feel and to who you are in their presence.

  • Go with the flow. There is a rule a mentor of mine used to tell me about. It goes 'Smart and serious at work, dumb and loose with the girls/guys'. Remind yourself that the point of dating is to end up having sex and then start a relationship or vice versa, depending on your values and lifestyle. Logic and reason alone does not create sexual attraction that makes you wild.

  • Stay present.

Don't drift off into overthinking during a date because this will make you stagnate, create negative momentum and eventually lead to a loss of attraction and maybe even to rejection. Instead of worrying about awkward silences or what to say, learn to be okay with not talking and

  • Sometimes, talking too much kills attraction.

When things are flowing between you and the other, you both have many laughs and get closer and closer, it is time to act and go for physical intimacy. You need to develop a feeling for it. It's very subtle and requires some emotional intelligence but totally manageable. Youtube videos and guides like these are not enough. You need to put it into practice and learn from that.

  • On dates, share deep insights or talk about something you want to talk about.

I found that sharing deep insights removes pressure and allows for a genuine connection to build. It also makes you glow up and makes you feel morr comfortable with the other person.

  • Don't involve your ego.

Unless someone you are on a date with is displaying major red flags or turns you off because they are not your type, there really is no reason to involve your ego in this interaction. Just let go, allow for attraction and fun to exist and enjoy their presence.