This seems to be a common struggle for a lot of guys who are either just starting on the learning curve or are stuck halfway. Especially in our current COVID meta, it's unlikely you'll get a girl to go out or meet up with you without some texting first. So I'll try and break down my philosophy towards text game and how to avoid wasting your time and getting ghosted.

First thing to understand is that the goal of text game is to get her to meet up with you, in person. You're not gonna have sex through a text chat, and you'll won't be able to bring your most powerful seduction tool to bear (your masculine presence and energy) over text. This is why a lot of girls actually like text game because it allows them to flirt and mess around with guys, without any danger or risk. If she loses control over the interaction, she can just ghost or block you.

Now as Mark Manson said, there's three types of girls you'll meet out there: Receptive, Unreceptive, and Neutral. And in text game, the approach to each is different.

Receptive Girls

Girls who are already receptive to you are easy to spot. They'll initiate text convos with you and be flirtatious. They'll respond quickly and at length. And when you suggest plans, they'll often be receptive. These girls are already willing to meet up with you. So the key thing to do here is avoid over-texting and go straight for the date. If you can, keep your texts focused on logistics, but don't single-minded. You have a lot of leeway with these kinds of girls, so just seize the day with them and save the chatting for when she's right in front of you. A great way to turn a Receptive Girl into a Neutral or Unreceptive One is to turn her into a texting buddy.

Another thing to note as a well is that if you're already friends with a girl, it's easy to fool yourself into thinking she's Receptive because she texts you just like your friends do. The true signs that a girl is Receptive is her investment level and her romantic interest. If she's only invested in you as a friend, and she's not being flirtatious/chasing you - she's likely not Receptive.

Unreceptive Girls

A lot of guys screw up with unreceptive girls because they can't wrap their heads around the fact that she's just not that invested. You'll encounter these types a lot on dating apps because they're basically window-shopping and are often just looking for attention. You'll also see this with girls you're already acquainted with, but fell out of touch with or never took things further. The key trait with these girls is their lack of investment.

So how do you deal with that? Simple. Keep your investment level low, don't expect much and just be yourself because there's not that much at stake. Ideally what you want to do is polarize her into attraction and get her invested in the connection. Do this successfully, and she'll transition into Receptive or Neutral and behave visibly differently. But you have to let her make up her own mind about that - the harder you try, the less likely this transition. You're a lot more likely to do this successfully by having a DGAF vibe and not trying too hard. Dealing with these girls becomes easy once you internalize that it's unlikely to go anywhere and your goal should be to just have fun. Let go out of outcome with these types and let them surprise you, because this kind is most likely to ghost you.

Girls also often appear Unreceptive over texts because they're unavailable or interested in someone else and they don't want to lead you on. So in this situation, you just want to stay on her radar by randomly texting her every few weeks/months. The goal of this is just to make sure she doesn't write you off entirely so that if her situation changes, you're at hand.

Neutral Girls

Neutral Girls are the most tricky. First because their intentions are the most unclear. Say what you will about the first two types, but it's easy to know where they stand. Neutral Girls can often be very close to Receptive or Unreceptive, but you won't know that.

So your goal with these types should be to suss out where they stand as quickly as possible. The more you let the text convo drag out, the more likely she is to go cold on you, and the more likely you are to get sucked into being her text buddy and it'll never go anywhere.

So once you've opened the conversation, start trying to playfully screen her or tease her. If she takes the bait, you should then move on to building some rapport and getting her invested until she starts sending choosing signals or flirting back. Then go for the date.

And if she doesn't take the bait, start treating her as Unreceptive. Get more DGAF, sign off first and early, and only re-engage periodically. She'll either change her tune fast, or confirm your diagnosis.

Another key thing is to not go for the date until you're sure she's invested. That's how you prevent flakes. Otherwise what will happen is you'll get her worked up, she'll agree to plans with you, and then once she calms down, she'll change her mind. Her investment is how you protect your investment. If you must, disengage and re-engage a couple days later. Sometimes an extra text interaction or two builds up her investment.

Quick Notes

  • When it comes to an opening text, here's my rule of thumb. With girls who are extroverted and have a big ego, I like to lead with a question. Get the early compliance and work to get her chasing. Those types of girls like to be chooser and don't respond well to guys who are too aggressive over texts as it makes them too look too invested and therefore easy. With girls who are more introverted and submissive, I like to lead with a funny statement. It's lower pressure and encourages her to loosen up.

  • I try to avoid getting too sexual over texts, as miscommunications/misreads are too easy, but if she goes there, don't leave her hanging. Getting sexual over texts only really makes sense with long-distance things, which I've never been a fan of. If you must, have an ironic and silly vibe like you don't care whether she takes it serious or not.

  • Do not sweat too hard over any one text. If one bad text is enough to ruin an interaction, it must be really bad, or she was never that into you anyway.

  • The more DGAF and laid back you are over texts, especially with girls that you don't have an in-person relationship with, the better you'll do.

  • One good strategy with text game is to build up what's called a tempo advantage (like in chess). You want to respond less, slower, and put less effort into it, and when done right, she'll put in more and start chasing. Do not take this too far, because then you'll look uninterested or like you're playing games and she'll just disengage. But remember the golden rule of text game: less is more.

  • Avoid responding to texts right away unless she's responding in real time. As a general rule, mirror how long it takes her to reply. If she starts taking hours/days to reply, treat her as Unreceptive, even disengage first. When she takes a long time to reply, either she's not that interested, or she's playing games. When girls act uninterested, always call their bluff and take them at face value.

  • And on that note, if a girl ghosts, DO NOT CHASE. It's either futile or counterproductive. Maybe she'll come back, maybe she won't. Either way she's sending you a clear sign that she's much less invested than you are, otherwise she wouldn't do it. Make sense?

Anyway guys, hope that helps.