I really want to have the mindset and the ability to filter out the bad eggs/the bad apples and get rid of them permanently before they trouble my positive mindset.

  • 8 years ago I started dating someone, and they allowed their friends to control everything. In hindsight, I should have realised they were young, inexperienced and gullible to social influence and walked. I never did and it sucked till she blocked me, then tried to get me kicked out of a nightclub or two as she followed the events I went to as a student.
  • 8 years ago I met one of my first proper girlfriends and continuously she has kept coming back into my life, despite walking away and coming back. I've allowed this to happen multiple times and feel a twat till I've blocked her and restricted her from contacting me. She says she fell in love with me and I broke her heart. That's maybe what happens if you keep disappearing without a trace.
  • 4 years ago I saw someone for a few months, and I ignored all the red flags and they made my mind go crazy. I had to get counselling because they were just a joke, they were a narcissist and made me feel like absolute dog crap and I was in a push-pull relationship with them.
  • 3 years ago I was having a casual relationship with someone; she just wanted to get pregnant, and I never saw it. She was beautiful, but young and had issues where she had to take pills to control her emotions. This ended early last year when she started being abusive toward me and threatened me. I blocked her everywhere and she even tried to get her best friend, mum and cousins to talk to me to get back with her.
  • Just recently I started talking to one girl, who killed me with kindness and flattery, went on a date with me, which was amazing and then when she had me, she slowly discarded me. Turns out she's bloody getting married in a few months. How I missed the many red flags that were painted on the wall with this one and how I was so rose-tinted glasses to see past the lies and realise I was led on.

I feel like my experience(s) have made me come to the conclusion I am not perfect, and whilst these incidences are not my fault entirely, they are because I allowed them to happen. All these above experiences absolutely made me feel like a complete idiot. Is there a male version of the shit-test or the common way of spotting something horrific so that you can walk?

All of these women drained me to the point where I wasn't myself and would lose sleep. I never want to experience this crap again. Many thanks ;)