TL;DR: I know how to seduce girls but goddamn, romantically I'm a Rookie.

I'm doing good so far with girls. Not nearly as good as somebody with more experience, or a PUA, but good. I had a long lasting relationship out of nowhere, fwbuddies and every now and then, I bring someone home. Fairly decent so far.

But these are random pick-ups. And I don't like the type of intimacy you spend with them. I much rather like to have someone who's really only in my life like this. I'd love to have someone to share her life with me and vice versa. Not necessarily a relationship, just something very intimate. And, over the course of the last few years, I got to know some girls who could fit in there like this. Some of them already dropped out of my life again, some are still in there. Two of them I consider to be great friends as well, with one of those I also hooked up once. But I try to get to know them, also try to build up some intimacy. So, I'll go on this city trip at the end of the month with the other one, and to be fair, I'm quite a bit in love with her. That isn't something I've hidden from her. But just now she got into a relationship. It's fine with me, I didn't want to make that trip to hook up with her. But somehow, it just hit me. This is my way of getting to know girls, like really getting to know them (not necessarily this kind of trip, just some time alone, maybe going for a walk or something), but whenever I'm with them like that, it seems like they're already emotionally invested in somebody else. And I don't even try to play them. I don't even know why I'm talking in plural, it's just one girl at a time.

Now, I do know stuff about Friendzone and so on, about Mark Manson and No More Mr. Nice Guy, but this is something from the heart, not from knowledge:

What am I doing wrong? I know, you should get to know many and it won't work with everybody, but there's this girl I have a connection to and we already did something and so on. Cool if she's got somebody else, I don't care. I mean, I do care, I'm really sad about it after all, but I try to not let it affect me.

But what really bugs me is, that there's always somebody already. Yeah, they're great girls and surely there's somebody more handsome and more confident than me somewhere in their lives, but what am I doing wrong? Am I getting to know them on the wrong base? Am I not escalating enough from the beginning? How do you get to know a girl in a way that will, if successful, make her talk to you about me, not the other way around?

There's little concrete information here (or a lot of it that just hides from me), but that's exactly what I'm trying to figure out, so any suggestions will really be helpful to connect the dots.