I don't understand

2021-01-08T22:56:19+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

MarquisZardoz · 2021-01-08T18:41:02+00:00

Don't try to steer the conversation anywhere. Just have fun. She's probably clueless herself. But she'll know whether or not she enjoys spending time with you and that won't come from conversation- unless you're funny and make her laugh.

AloofusMaximus · 2021-01-08T19:35:07+00:00

How old are you? I suspect you're pretty young. If neither of you are experienced, there's no dating conversation to be had.

Pitching a date isn't hard, it's as simple as "let's grab a drink/coffee/whatever". It's important to make your intent clear here.

If you're doing most of the talking though, you're doing it wrong.

trolls_never_prosper · 2021-01-08T22:21:32+00:00

Dating generally follows a first date, provided a number of things go well - many of which are out of your control. That's not your problem right now.

Don't worry about inexperience. Everyone is inexperienced at some point.

If you can't imagine anything to talk about, maybe this is not a crush. It may be an infatuation fueled by your fantasy. That's fine. Use that to your advantage - dial down your expectations and treat this as an experiment.

You're not a pick up expert so I'd steer well clear of anything that relies on wit, humor, seduction, etc. You want a first date that doesn't rely on banter.

Think about an opening gambit that structures time with her. Don't guess. Find out what she's into and propose a fun get-together around that. You're working with very little so IMO asking one of her friends what she's into is a play. If you're genuine, and you seem very genuine, her friend may take pity on you and give you some coaching. If she doesn't the worst case is that your crush finds out you care enough to ask about her.

If you don't know or have access to her friends and can't infer her interests without weird stalking behavior (crossing generally accepted lines of privacy) you're limited to being direct and just letting the chips fall where they may. "Hey, this is awkward. I'd like to ask you out but I have no idea what you're into. Any ideas?" This is also an appeal to pity, but that might be your edge. Still, it's far better to have something specific to open with.

Figure out how to take the pressure off. Convince yourself this is no big deal - because it's not.

Dodechaedron · 2021-01-08T20:58:22+00:00

A movie you have both seen? Did you like it? Yes/no, why? A place where you both have been: Did you like it? Yes/no, why?

wakeup_1 · 2021-01-08T21:28:08+00:00

I see that you are young and unexperienced.

Then let me tell you something.

For 99% it won't workout with that girl. Although gather experiences - eventually you will gain enough knowledge and dating will be easy for you

imsexc · 2021-01-08T22:55:24+00:00

Have a hobby, outdoor hobby, or try to learn new ones u're interested. Ask her to join. Involve her in your world. U want her to be your satellite. She doesn't want u to be her satellite.

Your assumption is wrong! Emotional connection does not necessarily start from conversation. 2 introverts walking together in silence could spark connection! 2 strangers who always rode the same bus everyday may spark connection!

Wanna talk? Talk about silly stupid things you did in the past that's funny. Ask her to reciprocate. Ask her what does she like? Her favorite this, that? Follow up with why? How?

But silence is never a sin. Sometimes it's even necessary. Like a song, you don't want to listen a song that keeps bangin to the reff. right? So boring.

And When 2 persons conversing to a point of silence. The one 'weaker' might want to fill the gap by talking, yet it doesn't have to be you.

And this should have released you from the pressure that's non-existing.

By the way, she's not your crush. She's not the only one. There are lots of lots of girls that's better than her that you can get. Keep that in mind. Don't be a Beta. Girls despise Beta-man, but love men of high value (full of intelligence, knowledge, skills, etc., which lead to Confidence). That's natural, a part of their natural instinct: to survive, and breed the fittest generation to survive living in the world.

And everytime you can be physically together, escalate. Hold her hand. Touch her. Get closer. If no one's there, get even closer, show your intent though.. to kiss her, hug her, caress her, and what not. But always show your intent! before getting physical. If she resisted, adjust your approach, wait, and try again some other time. Some girls resisting at first because they don't want to risk being seen as slutty, but everyone is the same.. everyone loves sex and intimacy.

Title	I don't understand
Author	Swagbeast121
Upvotes	3
Comments	24
Date	January 8, 2021 6:24 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kt8dj1/i_dont_understand/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-dont-understand.1293484 https://theredarchive.com/post/1293484

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