I need help dealing with "Dancing Monkey" syndrome and stop seeking approval

TheMemoman · 2013-09-08T06:18:42+00:00

The thing is that the only person expecting you to put on a show, is you. You need to understand that. Your mind is playing tricks on you, making you feel that unless you carry the show on your shoulders you will have no worth.

You are not a clown. If the other person is remotely interested in you, that person will appreciate your humor, but is not going to demand buffooneries from it's personal jester. That's all in your mind. Don't listen to it.

Just be normal, enjoy the moment you are sharing instead of worrying about the immediate future or next joke, and if you do have a relevant joke or funny comment, just say it. If not, let the other person speak, that other person is your equal, not your audience. If that other person cares about you on a personal level, then that person will also want to say something, to have a conversation with you, not just be reduced to being the passive, reactive audience.

MroyalM · 2013-09-07T23:46:17+00:00

I don't know if this will help, but stop thinking so much into it. It's just who you are bud, not a complex. Maybe you might need to dial it down a little bit, but don't think it's a big negative. It sounds like you get nervous because you're a funny guy and you tend to get goofy to fill up empty conversation. Play off the funny and never make excuses like that to yourself. Be excited to be the funny guy and don't make excuses about being yourself, even if you're entertained for your own reasons. If it's the girls saying something, call them out on their disrespect. Everyone wants to be the upbeat funny guy so just learn how to channel that energy.

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-09-08T17:03:59+00:00

Lots of guys get stuck in the initial Attraction stage. They start getting a positive response from women, the crack a couple of jokes and get a few laughs, and they just stick with that. They forget that the goal is to seduce the woman. You have to move on and start escalating. Increasing intimacy and escalation creates sexual attraction. Approval seeking tends to distance you sexually, and make you the jester, not the lover.

2013-09-07T23:44:18+00:00

You don't have to perform or prove yourself to anyone. You should work on loving who you are and developing confidence, and you won't fall into class clown territory.

How do you know that people perceive you as a clown? I guess it's the difference between being laughed with and laughed at.

readonlyuser · 2013-09-08T15:46:39+00:00

Slow down and make strong, sexual eye contact. Touch her, tease her, and be sexually aroused by her. It's harder to be a dancing monkey when you're horny.

Title	I need help dealing with "Dancing Monkey" syndrome and stop seeking approval
Author	zach84
Upvotes	12
Comments	7
Date	September 7, 2013 10:36 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lxtfv/i_need_help_dealing_with_dancing_monkey_syndrome/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-need-help-dealing-with-dancing-monkey-syndrome.1358007 https://theredarchive.com/post/1358007

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