I am naturally an introvert, but also I feel like I have a lot of social anxiety. I really want to work on it and overcome it, but I get so overwhelmed and drained in some social situations. I'm a decent guy, attractive, a lot of life experiences and I enjoy trying new things but I've been struggling with people, especially talking to attractive girls.

I've been in a dry spell for too long, but for some reason I have this anxiety surrounding sex too. I have to feel very comfortable with someone to go farther than a bj.. I'm a bit bigger than average and finding the right angle to put it in is usually kinda awkward and I go soft.. it's pretty embarrassing tbh.

Then there's my fetish, I'm fine without it but it's always in the back of my mind, but bringing it up is so embarrassing. I wish I could find someone who accepts all of me.

I just feel like I'm struggling so much with who I am and my needs sexually. I don't especially like hookups but I'm horny out of my mind, so sometimes I wish I could but I don't know how.

I'm a bit desperate for advice, I've tried like everything. I'm sure I could learn if I knew step by step what I need to do/change but I feel like I'm just struggling on my own. If anyone has gone through any of this or has some advice, please lmk