I need help seddit...

chris92253 · 2012-12-22T10:46:30+00:00

Perhaps therapy would help. It may not be the fine people of this subreddit that are able to help you. But what you do to hold a conversation is to not stop talking. Literally, you just say whatever comes into your head. The problem comes when you think too hard about what's in your head and it isn't natural.

One thing that a lot of people tell you is that what you say doesn't really matter, however I never really used to believe that until recently. You can talk about anything, fucking anything and it doesn't really matter. Unless you ask it in an awkward tone, you can talk about anything. If its strange, say it in a joking tone.

Ask a lot of questions. Once you get better at making conversation, it's a good idea to change those questions into statements. Instead of asking "Do you like to play sports?" phrasing it as "You look like a sporty type, I'm guessing you play uh... volleyball!" makes you seem a lot more fun and dynamic. The responses that you get from that are invariably either "Haha I don't play volleyball but I did play ___ when I was in ____", "I've never played sport, what makes you think that?" or "Yes I do, how did you guess?". All of those are simple enough to spin off, you can make up the most bullshit reasons ever and nobody would bat an eyelid. However if simply conversing is difficult for you then its perhaps its better to stick to questions for the time being.

To make things easier for yourself, talk to EVERYBODY you see. EVERYBODY. You walk past somebody in the hall at school, you say hi, smile and make eye contact and then keep walking. Even something as small as that can be terrifying-I'm not going to lie, it sounds stupid but it can be nervewracking to even acknowledge the existence of somebody that you don't usually talk to. You have to fucking push through it because guess what- fucking nobody is going to bat an eyelid that you said hi when you walked past. The more you do this, the more effortless and natural talking to people will be-you'll eventually do it on instinct like you'll used to. Good luck and all the best- keep us posted on your progress!

HealingVision · 2012-12-22T09:26:30+00:00

It sounds like there is a bigger issue at play that's holding you back. Its quite obvious that this most likely is the passing of your mother (I'm sorry) might be it, or could have contributed to it. Is there a particular incident that you're dwelling on? What I can tell you that helped me is just to be observant, relax and look everyone in the eye. I recommend looking into David Wygant's stuff, it taught me to the value of just focusing on your surroundings and I began to use that to shut up any insecurities that I would create for myself. It's also important to keep in mind that there is no quick fix for any of this, and that if you want to change it is going to be a lifestyle change, or else you'll be back feeling as low as you felt before.

pickup_sticks · 2012-12-22T10:54:34+00:00

It sounds like your social anxiety and sudden introverted-ness stems from the trauma of the passing of your mother. You need to seek counseling and psychiatric help from professionals not from a subreddit about picking up girls.

caulking · 2012-12-22T13:17:14+00:00

Normally I'd just tell someone with your problem to use conversation threading, but the grieving thing makes it more complicated.

It could just be that you are out of practice with social skills. If you're good at anything, and then you don't do it for a while, you're going to stop being so good at it.

chris92253 · 2012-12-22T18:54:59+00:00

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chris92253 · 2012-12-26T17:12:20+00:00

Sorry for the late response guys, These have all really helped me atleast start... I am thinking about doing the therapist thing, but I am starting to talk to as many people as I can while I am at work to get out of my shell. Thank you everyone.

Title	I need help seddit...
Author	chris92253
Upvotes	12
Comments	11
Date	December 22, 2012 4:50 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/159mkj/i_need_help_seddit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-need-help-seddit.1344691 https://theredarchive.com/post/1344691

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