Prepare for wall of text; I am a pretty athletic guy, not big 5'6" handsome, smart, cocky funny. I haven't had much issues with girls, but I have never ever tried to be with someone who's unstable until now. So this girl and I work together. We can call her (L). I am her boss' boss' boss. So 3 levels above her and am currently sitting as 3rd overall in the company after the CEO and COO. We do not directly work together, but sit in very close proximity.

We have been going on dates and her hanging out at my place 1-3 times a week, depending on our schedules. She is pretty popular, and always has some sort of event, and I rarely see her on the weekends. Even when I try to hang out, she will text me tell me where she is, but usually takes forever to text, and sometimes the texts feel to me like she is avoiding me.

I asked her out in December, went on weeklong trip the week after, then vacation for 3 weeks after that. So we went on the first date, then I went on a month long trip. I had fun on the trip hooked up with girls there and such, was not really thinking about her. Then I came back, I asked her out the 2nd week after I was back, and then a week after that. We made out for a bit, in the third date. We have escalated a bit in the bedroom from there, but she will not let me do anything with her vagina. I have ass play, and tits and such whenever, but not anything to do with sex.

Recently before valentines week, we were supposed to hang out monday, then she got sick, so she said "can we hang out tomorrow instead (Tuesday)" but I was upset about the weekend, so I did not interact with her on Trudy at all; this is because I tried to meet her on the weekend and she did not text me until the bars were closed. She was with her friend who I am pretty close with; her friend texted me and told me what they were doing and where they were even though I did not respond to her text. She also did Sunday funday with her Ex who is part of her friend group; and I called her out on it. She said "we are just friends"

So her friend is close to me, also works with us, much more directly with me, as I rarely interact for work with (L). Her friend; lets call her (A) told me a few things about (L). She says (L) was engaged and her ex really messed her up. (L) always ends up ruining her chances with guys because she doesn't ever escalate the relationships. There are a few times where (A) told me things that make me think (L) actually likes me.

  • Once I asked (A) what we are doing for lunch that day, and (L) was visibly upset (There is a group of us who always go together; (L) & (A) are part of it.) (L) said she was not hungry and that she had too much work to do. Then (A) told me in the car that (L) stated that she wasn't invited, and that I always flirt with her and other girls in the office. This showed me a sign of jealousy.

  • (L) & (A) carpool and I called (L) out before asking her what we were doing, as we hang out always something sexual just not what I want. (L) broke down in the car and spoke to (A) about it, told her that I called her out on it and that she really likes me but does not want to feel how her ex made her feel.

  • On (L)'s birthday I skipped the dinner and then met her out after with my friends fiancé, (A) later told me she asked who that girl was they creeped on Facebook and she thought I brought a date. She was upset about it according to (A)

  • We were in bed and I told (L) that she needs to open up more and she told me the same thing about how she does not want to feel the same way again the way her ex made her feel. (fear of commitment?)

  • I called (L) out on valentines day; as I had not spoken with her for 2 days prior but I had ordered her flowers. She came and told me she was very happy about the flowers and such, as well as wanting to hang out that day. I asked her to lunch just us two, and thats when I called her out. I told her that her actions on the weekend were not ok, that she did not really try to meet up, if she texted me after the bars closed. I also asked her what was I supposed to think if she was with her ex on sudany. She told me that she likes me clearly but that she is not ready for a relationship right now. (Normally, this means she's not ready for something with ME; but she still wants to hang out). She also said that her ex is part of her friend group and that nothing will happen, they've hung out multiple times and she is not interested; or so she claims.

She made plans to cook for me this week 2/19-2/26 just not a set date yet. I hung out with her and her friend group yesterday but I left early without saying bye to anyone, and she texts me today saying, "what happened to you last night?"

I also feel like I have lost my frame. We are in her frame where I am chasing her, I need to know how I should get the frame back. Should I just continue and try to escalate sexually while being casual about the whole thing or what?