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[–]No_Disputin_Rasputin8 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Starting to? Dude people have been cheating on each other since like, sex first started. Caesar was married when he got Cleopatra pregnant and he also had another mistress named Servilia and that was over 2000 years ago. He was also captured by pirates. They ransomed him but he got offended at how much they wanted and demanded they ask for more. They did. They got it too. He was released, got his own boat and crew, hunted them down, and executed very last one of them. Cool guy that Caesar, cool guy.
[–]ooo00 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Infidelity amongst men of high power has always been a thing, no one will argue with you on that. It's different these days when the average Joe can get on Tinder and hook up on a whim.
[–]YeahYouReadThisShit 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I guess you have to be confident and trusting in a relationship, almost to a fault, so you don't drive yourself crazy.
[–]that-freakin-guy 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's scary, man. I worried about this all the time for a while. I've been cheated on a lot, namely when I was fat, but now I'm attractive and more of an asset, so you'd think this wouldn't be a cause for concern.
The problem lies with the person you're with. Are they honest? Do they go clubbing or to bars a lot? If no one is looking, will they steal? Do they pursue you at all, or have you been doing all the work? How hard was it to sleep with them, let alone to go out with them? Do they come from a good home with loving parents or are their parents giant pieces of shit?
There are signs in people that cheat. The signs that ring the truest are often the ones we choose to ignore. The fact is that you can often times predict if someone will cheat, but we're so focused on finding someone to love us that we put ourselves in compromising situations to start with.
Have good value in yourself, be confident, make good life choices, and don't go picking up girlfriends at clubs and bars. Good people often come from good homes, and that's all you can ask for.
Oh, and positive reinforcement. Telling someone they're amazing and beautiful does a lot more than tearing them down in making them want to stay with you. I give my girlfriend constant reminders from the bottom of my heart of how amazing and beautiful she is, and that's something she really stopped hearing in relationships that sucked. She tells me everyday how lucky she is to have a guy that loves her this much, because before me no one really legitimately gave a shit about her. They stopped caring once the infatuation faded. And guess what? I get ALL of this back from her because she wants me to feel exactly how I make her feel.
Plus blow jobs on command. She gives me those anytime I want them. Amazing what a little bit of positive reinforcement can do.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah....those kinda things eventually work themselves out
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
well, this is kind of the end game of birth control
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It doesn't scare us, no.
If you don't know how to treat your wife/girlfriend, if you can't lead, if you are indecisive, if you are not confident;** if you are foolish enough to believe that you just bound her to yourself with the first "yes" and you don't ever have to be a man again and she will stay with you no matter what you do and what you become: YOUR WIFE/GF WILL CHEAT ON YOU. And it will be your mistake.**
The books and studies about attraction are not only there to pick random women up and to get phone numbers. It is there to teach you how to be a real man, and about female psychology. If you don't understand women and make no effort to do so: you are bound for failure with women, like that guy and his brother who got cheated on by their wives and came on reddit to farm karma instead of talking to her wife about their problems and reaching a resolution. Is that what you want to become? Do you want karma points over a healthy, non-doubting relationship?
Monogamy was never a thing, it was forced on us by rulers who wanted to be the only ones mating with their harem/available women. Harsh punishments, excommunication from tribe, social status reset were all risked if you committed "debauchery". Wives also did not want polygamy because a man going around spreading his sperms ultimately divides his resources and time over multiple women and that reduces the chance of the woman and her offspring to survive. Monogamy is forced on us by ancient religions and authority. It's up to you to practice it or not. It's not a law, it's not a moral obligation. As men, our genes tell us to increase the chances that our genes survive. Polygamy increases the chances it will.
I suggest you download ans listen to Vin DiCarlo's "Female Psychology Exposed" right now. It's an audio of an interview with a 20 something beautiful party girl. Your wife/girlfriend things the same way she does, listen to it and then consider your paranoia and doubts about women. We men cheat at least a million times more often as women. Should we all be killed?** It's in our genes. Our DNA as men tells us to cheat. If you are in a long term relationship and you can stop yourself from cheating : that's success for respecting and considering the feelings of your significant other.** But the relationship isn't saved only that way. YOU HAVE TO BE A MAN AND MAKE SURE SHE DOES NOT EVEN WANT TO CHEAT. That's not checking her phone or crying on your knees begging her to stay with you. Leading, confidence, knowing how to treat her, keeping her on her toes..
tldr:it's your fault if she cheats, she isn't your property from the moment she says "yes". If you tricked her with lines and techniques but aren't the man she would want to be with later on: she will cheat, or dump you. Fixing your inner game fixes this all.
I would like to listen to the "Female Psychology" audio, do you have a link by chance?
Yes, I realize that relationships take work from both parties and that includes the man living up to his role as a man. My only question asks, is that enough? I don't scour these forums but we've all heard stories in real-life about the guy who can walk into a bar and pick up almost any girl he wants. The point is, no matter how much of a MAN you are, no matter how much you provide, no matter how many times you've told and showed her what it means to you** there is always going to be someone out there who can steal your woman. THAT is what is scary.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Same Day Lays" "Vin DiCarlo" are the search parameters, for cough torrents cough But you have not heard about this from me.
Developing your game, fixing your inner game and becoming a secure man involves being secure about your woman's interest in you, being confident about it. You don't even think about it. And if she does, you know you can walk out and find someone better anyway, and she knows it too, she invests in you, because she knows she can't find someone like you; not in a sleazy bar guy, not in anyone else. It is very rare for a woman to have a sex drive so strong she goes out and cheats "for the sex", they are called nymphomaniacs and you would know about it already. It's a disorder. A woman , otherwise, does not go out to cheat on a man she has invested in with no reason whatsoever. We give them the reasons.
Think James Bond. Sean Connery. Assume he got married, would he doubt about his wife cheating on him and be paranoid about it? He can walk out and find another girl any day. And his wife knows it too.
What's really happening is that you are not secure with yourself, not comfortable in your shoes. You think you don't deserve her, and that she can find someone better. Stop that. If you think you don't deserve someone, she will sense it and be turned off, and really think she deserves better. Be more confident, spice it up, let her see your confidence. Check my user name. When she tells you "I love you" you smile and say "I know", when she walks suggestively before you, you don't tell her how beautiful she is and how you are lucky to have her; you slap her ass and tell her to bring you a beer from the fridge. When she whines, you hush her like a father figure and tell her whether she is being a bitch or she is right and you will set things right. You notice things about her; when she buys a new $200 lingerie to impress you: you notice, you comment on it. When she has her hair or nails done, you notice it and compliment them, while being cocky. You become the man she was charmed with on the day she met you. It's always on. It's about a mindset and not techniques. But if you treat your woman right, she will notice, she will not even think about cheating on you or dumping you.
I suggest you download/buy all David DeAngelo audio series, John Alexander's audiobooks, Vin DiCarlo stuff. Read Giuseppe Notte, read on how to be a real man. Mystery stuff and routines won't help. They are good for picking up emotionally unstable party girls but won't help with the really classy 10/10s and with your girlfriend/wife.
This is not about approaching and picking up chicks. It's about knowing what makes them tick and acting accordingly in order to make them happy. Read a few romance novels, the type women prefer, you will get how differently female mind works. And after reading the material and studying, you will become a different person, "know" things and turn her on with the slightest gesture or word.
[–]Trenks -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's really all about the right quality of woman. Of course anything can happen (by you or by her), but you minimize your chances of getting cheated on by selecting the right woman. But yeah, no such thing as a sure thing-- all about minimizing the probability for both parties.
[+][deleted] -19 points-18 points-17 points 11 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link
What's wrong with non-monogamy?
You don't own another person, they're with you because you provide something they want in their life, and presumably the opposite is true.
Grow up, stop acting like you deserve the constant and unwavering commitment of monogamy, and ask your partner what they want.
Some people like non-consensual non-monogamy, some don't. Your only job is to move along if you don't like what they are offering, not judge them because they don't fit into your narrow-minded world-view.
/rant
[–][deleted] 11 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[+][deleted] -10 points-9 points-8 points 11 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
You don't know that.
You only know that the friend expects that.
You have no direct knowledge of the couple's lifestyle arrangements.
Making judgement calls based on third-party indirect information only hurts.
[–]YeahYouReadThisShit 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
Hey man, you know what, I think you are right this time. If I called that dude I'm sure he'd be thrilled to hear about his fiance getting rammed six ways from sunday. He'd be like yeah, it's just apart of our arrangement.
In all seriousness, did I mention that he doesn't know? I get that some couples get off on the fact that their significant other is getting it in with another guy but, with such an "open lifestyle arrangement", wouldn't he know about it?
[+][deleted] -7 points-6 points-5 points 11 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
So, because the friend doesn't know if the guy knows, and makes the assumption that he doesn't, and goes on to tell somebody else, and you read it....
So you know? For certain? Because unless you personally know them, how would you know?
And yes, "don't-ask, don't-tell" is a thing. People get off on it.
You're not a white-Knight, you're reacting to a fourth-party's retelling of a story, and judging something you can't begin to understand.
You want to know what to do when you find yourself in that situation? If it doesn't affect you personally, you walk away.
[–]dougsherman 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Even if that is the case in this specific situation, you are still missing the point entirely because the situation the OP is implying(one where the fiance is unaware and not OK with it) still happens all the time.
[+][deleted] -6 points-5 points-4 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
No. You have completely missed the point, and you've reiterated exactly why you don't understand the point.
"OP implied". Because he doesn't know. Not even the "friend" knows for certain what is going on (otherwise the discussion would be completely different)
Do people cheat? Yes. Do you have a responsibility to judge them? No.
If somebody cheats on you (for whatever value of "cheating" you and your partner have agreed to). THEN you can judge your situation. But just yours.
[–]dougsherman 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
It's not my responsibility, it's my right. Just because I don't know for certain if this specific person cheated, doesn't mean I can't know for certain if someone cheated on someone who wasn't me, and can't subsequently judge them for it. You are missing the forest for the trees, unless you are denying that people cheat on their unwitting partners, which is an even dumber stance.
[+][deleted] -6 points-5 points-4 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
You've set up a straw man, and you've knocked it down yourself.
Good job!
You, absolutely, have ZERO RIGHT to judge anybody. You may think you have a "moral imperative" but all you are doing is promoting your own ignorance and inability to separate your life from anybody else's.
[–]dougsherman 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
You, absolutely, have ZERO RIGHT to judge anybody
I do, though. Anyone has the right to judge anyone else, for any reason, even if the judgement is misplaced. Not sure if we are using the same definition of "right".
If you are implying that, morally, we shouldn't judge anyone, I still disagree. If I know that someone knowingly cheated on someone else, and they knew that person would be hurt by it, I will absolutely judge that person and think they are selfish. Not sure what your disagreement with that is?
[–]YeahYouReadThisShit 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
God, I can just imagine how lonely you are in real-life.
[–]dougsherman 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just realized that he is a gonewild commenter(the creepy kind, not that there's really another kind), which explains a lot.
[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points-3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I hope you're imaging lots of loving friends and family, and respecting partners, because that's what I've got.
[–]YeahYouReadThisShit 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm sure you are surrounded by crusted tissues and pizza boxes. You personally may have no problem with your significant other getting a load on her face and other people may not either, but you're forgetting that everyone is not like that. Some people value trust and monogamy in a relationship and ARE on a need to know basis about their girlfriend, spouse, fiance, etc.
[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh, dang, you nailed it! My pizza box overflows with crusty tissues from wiping away the tears of my joyous life. At least the pizza was good.
My relationships are what they are, for each of the people involved. Nobody else outside of our relationships know or understand what goes on behind closed doors, nor should they.
everybody's relationship is built on trust. And communication. When either or both break down, a relationship can falter.
Sadly, your insistence that circumstantial evidence means you need to insert yourself into somebody else's life is misguided and destructive.
[–]YeahYouReadThisShit 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The troll will now be hungry again. Later bro.
[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points-3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right. That's why I'm not making any judgements.
What they do is their business, and anybody else that isn't involved directly with them has no business in their relationship.
I'm sorry that reddit nice guys trying to find good pickup lines on this subreddit downvoted you.
Chances are they got cheated on, dumped, rejected, ridiculed due to their lack of success with women so much that they have come to hate women, hate men who are successful with women and even though what you say is correct and makes sense, it goes against their beliefs that "all women are whores, they only date handsome rich tall guys, maybe I can learn some pick up lines on this subreddit, all cheaters are evil, the guy who caused them to cheat has no mistake at all" .
I know what you're talking about, I understand it. You're "in the know", you "get it". Don't worry about nice guys who have never approached a woman in their life (save tinder) downvoting you. There are about 2,5 billion of them. After 2,5 billion downvotes, you may start worrying :)
[–]carmasterzaib -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nice...
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[–]No_Disputin_Rasputin8 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]ooo00 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]YeahYouReadThisShit 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]that-freakin-guy 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Trenks -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]YeahYouReadThisShit 6 points7 points8 points (16 children) | Copy Link
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[–]dougsherman 2 points3 points4 points (8 children) | Copy Link
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[–]carmasterzaib -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link