Newbie here.

Basically I only allow myself to take certain actions when I view myself with a certain self-worth, which seems to be determined 100% by external factors such as job/finances, physical fitness, reactions of others, etc. I have a tough time setting a "strong and positive internal frame", or whatever the hell you wanna call it. I just don't get it.

I think having some of your worth tied to external factors is a good idea to push you towards having objective goals and such, but clearly looking too much to the outside to determine your value is not a good idea.