Is Being TOO AVAILABLE Kills Female Interest

This is might be a common question or situation always been asked in this group when it comes to texting, the level of the investment and the availability to go on dates.
I have been seeing this hot single mother for 6 weeks more less. She lives 10 mins away from me and has a kid part time. It always very hard to schedule a date/hangout because of her work schedule and kid. We met via Tinder, i believe she was active before the new covid restrictions (4 weeks ago).
She told me i am one of the few people she is meeting because of her old mother.
She was over at my place last week for dinner and chill. We couldn't have sex because of her period but it's fine. I am seeing other people and not in rush. We already had sex almost every-time we met.

The first 4-5 weeks we texted a lot and shared music since we both like discover new music all the time with a lot of filtration going on. The last two weeks she started to draw interest by texting back very late and sometime it takes a day to replay to an important question but still down to meet.

After that i kept the texting just to setup dates and being busy with other girls because of her low investment texts.

We suppose to meet today (Friday) at my place to watch a film we started last week. She hit me last night that she got her period again (second week) and on pain. Asked me what's my plans for Saturday? I might have a date with a Spanish girl Saturday, the date is not confirmed.

Currently i am between jobs due covid so i got plenty of time to go on dates and spend time on my hobbies. I feel am always available to meet a girl if they ask me.

I am always flexible to change my schedule to go on date due the unlimited time i currently have because the unemployment, thanks COVID-19 haha. Do you think is this a bad thing?

What's your opinion of being too available and flexible to meet for date/hangout? Do you think it might ruin the attraction?

p.s personally i don't like to play hard to get and all this games. I have an abundance mentality so if one girl is busy, i meet another one or do something else. I never take the rescheduling very hard but wanted to hear other opinion.

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Besides, once you actually "get" the person, you're so tired and burnt out from the chase that you just get bored and move on

If she has nothing to offer besides her body then sure I move on. This doesnt bother me cause I generally have a rotation. If my GF left me today Id just shrug, and reopen my HR department and go through new candidates.

I'm not attached the the idea of "love" and that's precisely why my relationships now are stress free compared to when I did because I was so scared of losing it back then and would compromise.

I always tell people if they dislike my method offer a better one. I dont pretend my method is moral but you cant argue against results at the end of the day.

I'm happy and that's all that matters as far as I'm concerned. If others arent happy I figure out how to make them happy cause I dont want that energy around me.

[–]PlatinumSavage1 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]OrzhovPalatine -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

If you're not attached to the idea of love, then it's not a real and meaningful relationship.

It's actually more meaningful and real precisely because theres no attachment to the fantasy that is "love".

If you're emotionally attached to something you will make terrible decisions on it because you value it so much.

Also leaves you open to manipulations malicious and unconscious.

Relationships need love in them in order for them to work out.

Relationships need clear boundaries not love. Those boundaries include the termination at any time should there be an overstep.

There is a difference between being attached to the idea of love and obsessing over it, but apparently you think they're the same thing.

You cant be attached to something and not obsess esp "love" Attachement implies fear of loss. People make idiotic decisions based on that fear.

For me its zero sum/black and white. I dont make any exceptions like yourself because I'm selfish. My own happiness is paramount.

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but it also means you would have no investment

I have investment in her, there's simply an understanding on my end how far it

It means you are with someone that you don't care about, someone that is easily replaceable,

I compartmentalize very well. I care about my GF but I can separate that emotion when needed because I have a frame of references that remind me what happens if you're too invested.

I understand a show a weakness on my part makes her feel unsafe. She is more cooperative if I put a burden of performance on her.

but not invested at all and calling someone a girlfriend to me sounds psychopathic

Could be sociopathic sure, but for me its strategic and results have been great. I'm naturally inclined to be invested but I choose to not be because I've found it to give better results. It's as simple as that.

I acknowledge it sounds psychopathic which I did at first until it worked. Results invalidate any moral distaste as far as I'm concerned.

you are not afraid of loss something is not worth anything

If you're not afraid of loss, you can move on easier to the next. If you are afraid you linger around in despair when you should be picking yourself up and moving on.

When I was afraid of loss I'd waste alot of time lingering to try to keep it or I'd pretzel myself into whatever to keep it and later resenting it.

Its liberating to just say "meh" and move on with my life to the next chapter.

The more you value something and are invested the more value and beauty it has whether that's your own characteristics or a girl.

You're going to suffer badly if what's you think. The more you value something the more it ties you down.

I understand nothing lasts and enjoy the time present. Thus when it's over I just shrug because I had already planned for that day. Its liberating.

[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I hear you and I have the same nature, but I personally think, because I find this to be a personal problem in all area's in my life that balance is the key. I also tend to overinvest and get hurt and I understand and also have had the reaction to that to not invest anymore. But I truly believe a balance to be the best almost everywhere, more pain more failure more chance of rejection but also more reward more feelings more living. A balance is always harder but it might be more rewarding too. Life is suffering and just by avoiding suffering at all costs you will also avoid life and you will miss out on a lot. To me it still sounds more like apathy that is being confused for a zen like acceptance state. Anyway I might have come across as much more harsh than I wanted too, just discussing ideas here.

[–]OrzhovPalatine 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

. I also tend to overinvest and get hurt and I understand and also have had the reaction to that to not invest anymore.

Yeah I had this problem too until I didnt. I only achieved balance after I went way over the line and saw what the abyss looked like and how far I could go. Then I just rolled it back to where I was comfortable.

IMO you cant really have balance if you've never seen the abyss. The abyss gives you perspective and shows your limits.

But I truly believe a balance to be the best almost everywhere, more pain more failure more chance of rejection but also more reward more feelings more living.

Insanity is doing the same thing expecting a different result. At some point those failures should let you know you're not doing it right.

The relationship game isnt about balance. It's a tug of war. At best its 60/40. Fine to be balanced in other aspects of life but the relationship game isnt one of them.

A balance is always harder but it might be more rewarding too.

Not in relationships. They're tests of will not balancing acts.

Life is suffering and just by avoiding suffering at all costs you will also avoid life and you will miss out on a lot.

You couldnt avoid suffering if you tried but you shouldnt be a fool either and just walk into the same suffering again because you think that's what youre suppose to do.

I simply recognize potential suffering, recall what that suffering felt like from my frame of reference. Calculate if its worth it and go from there.

To me it still sounds more like apathy that is being confused for a zen like acceptance state.

I am apathetic, not gonna deny that. I simply see the world for what it is not what I'd like it to be.

I understand the rule set and dont judge them. When my results change I'll reevaluate my view, not that complicated.

Anyway I might have come across as much more harsh than I wanted too, just discussing ideas here.

Dont apologize, that's our problem we care too much about how we'll come off to others.

I understand the context of our conversation. You don't need to put up a disclaimer. I prefer you to be as genuine as possible, I dont want to feel like you need to hold back.

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Title	Is Being TOO AVAILABLE Kills Female Interest
Author	Hawadleh
Upvotes	8
Comments	30
Date	November 20, 2020 2:16 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/jxprke/is_being_too_available_kills_female_interest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-being-too-available-kills-female-interest.1505944 https://theredarchive.com/post/1505944

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