Is it ok to be a nice guy sometimes?

Daniele_Lyon · 2019-07-25T14:11:02+00:00

There’s no point to why a nice guy can’t seduce with the same efficiency as a bad guy. The problem is that majority of nice guys are needy too. But as you can see, doctors, advocates, professor, most of times they are nice guys, but they can still attract better then bad guys.

The point here is that there is no need to separate bad guys from nice guys. The problem is that who you call nice guys, are weak people. They are dependent from others. This is what make girls turn away from them.

I want to remember, that courtesy is still one of the best way to attract women. The problem is that a nice guy usually are altruist to let others like them. A true nice guys, can be altruist without preference. This is one of those things that girls likes more in a man.

AllFunLife-com · 2019-07-25T13:35:34+00:00

It’s ok to be nice and at the same time know what you want, the direction you want to go, and how to get there.. and that way you won’t get railroaded. Check out some examples in this day game - https://youtu.be/-o2XXzJIg2Q

13ananaMan · 2019-07-25T15:31:29+00:00

OP... the traditional "nice guy" that you see on /r/niceguys are people with pretty much no backbone. They don't know what they want, or how to get it, and when they don't get it, they do a complete 180 in personality. They go from a usually friendly person to an asshole once rejected. In other words, they were putting on a facade. As soon as something bad, their attitude shifted for the worse.

You don't have to be the cocky funny asshole all the time, no.

Throwaway243745 · 2019-07-25T17:14:51+00:00

I kinda hate that we have to do the whole “asshole facade” in the first place. Or at least I did for the longest time. I’ve had social anxiety all my life, so maybe it’s something where I do worry too much about unintentionally hurting somebody’s feelings. In my high school and early college, I was more the “quiet, mysterious” type (which did work for me in the initial stages, but then once I got a girl on my line, I’d become the “sweet nice guy” routine and shoot myself in the foot). But I’ve never considered myself a pushover. I’d speak up, get confrontational but always in a calm and cool way, be assertive. But I’ve just always felt like I’m a genuinely nice guy, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve just always liked to make people feel good, don’t care if it’s a pretty girl or the nerdy, antisocial guy who isn’t participating in the social interaction (because I can relate to what they’re going through). It’s something I’ve always been kinda proud of, whatever bullshit I’m going through in my mind, that I would put on a positive attitude and feel like I made somebody’s day by making them feel good. Makes me feel good to do that, so I didn’t see it as kissing ass or anything of the sort. I’d hate it when I’d read that being complimentary is seen as some kinda “beta” quality.

I think I just need to flip my perception on it. That if you’re the “asshole” in the right kind way, it actually makes it more fun for the girl to feel like she has to chase you. Makes the whole “game” a little more exciting for her. Then, when you are the “nice guy” or complimentary, it comes off as she is doing the right thing, so she feels good about that.

In the same way, I think you can be the “nice guy” in the right way. Be a little more calculated with how and when You give your compliments. Make it something that she probably doesn’t get often, not about her looks. The compliment hits her harder, genuinely does make her feel good and it’s not just the same old “you’re so beautiful” bullshit from guys who are desperately trying to get in her pants, which is a big turn off. As far as listening to her problems or doing gentlemanly things, just do it in such a way that shows you’re a confident and take-charge person, who is able to lift her up and also make her want to be a better version of herself, to present to you her “value” in the dating pool. I just think the mote you’re being genuine to yourself, but in a confident way, the better off you’ll be. You wouldn’t want to just unload your problems all the time onto a beautiful girl because you know it would be a huge turn off. And she should feel the same way towards you. If you find that’s the role you’re playing, you’re probably friend zoned because she doesn’t care about “presenting her value” to you, because she doesn’t see you as a potential mate. I guess it’s all about showing her that you have other priorities going on, that you are making time for her because she has shown you something of value or worthy of your interest and time. And she should feel like she doesn’t want to blow that.

I wish I could give more concrete examples. I’m just now starting to learn about all this and take it seriously. Looking back at why I was successful in the beginning, with the girls that I was really hard into, and why i blew it over the long (or short) run. I think you just have to find the right combination, or balance, of nice guy and bad boy to pull them in and keep them (if a LTR is what you’re looking for).

Title	Is it ok to be a nice guy sometimes?
Author	DragonDinner22
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	July 25, 2019 12:16 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/chmwhf/is_it_ok_to_be_a_nice_guy_sometimes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-ok-to-be-a-nice-guy-sometimes.1474555 https://theredarchive.com/post/1474555

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