There was this girl I had a crush on for a year and a half, she was hella attractive.

At the time when I had just seen her I got to know that she had a bf and kept my distance from her. But after hearing things about a possible breakup I wanted to try my luck on her too.

This was way before I got into seduction,attraction and psychology of women. So, I was one of the people who was extremely needy, scared at times and didn't know how to properly attract.

Although I moved to sit literally behind her and talked to her, helped her in studying (I'm a bit of a class nerd/bookworm, or atleast thats where my reputation stands), and yet I felt really distant from her.

I saw one of her male besties treat her like trash, stealing her books, stealing her bag, scratching her with pens, "lightly" Beating her, making fun of her and treating her like absolute trash.

I could see the difference in how we treated her and saw the difference in distance too, I couldn't understand, why was someone like that getting her attention? Why would a nice nerd like me get ignored?

Some of the advantages I had was I am taller than almost everyone in my class,Ive been told I look extremely scary (I have a scar under my left eye) and I'm big, I have an extremely deep and grounded voice, at times I used these to make her bestie to stop treating her like trash and "protect" her. Theyd immediately back of and tried to play it as a joke.

I played the safe game, I didn't even have the courage to approach and get her ig, my friend was the one who got it and made her accepttthe request too.

Initially I was the one who texted her first always and would be ignored for long periods of time and yeah I did text immediately when she replied.

This goes on for a week, I started writing poems on her and how beautiful she was. Eventually on one night I mustered up all my courage and sent it to her she liked it and complimented it. The next day in class, nothing much happened. She was trying to get close to me but I didn't catch the signs and ignored her completely.

No flirting, no psychology, no attraction, nothing. Just the nice guy safe play syndrome at its peak, and me thinking I could definitely win her over.

I didn't have the courage to talk to her irl, in this time I made a friend in her group who would tell me everything that was stirred up in that group. The poems I sent to her? My friend said she was confused on what to think about them, and finally she was interested in me.

Started giving more attention, more eye contacts, more smiles, more laughs, the momentum I felt was diabolical. This was two weeks in.

And on one night, after I sent her a poem about how the moon reminded me of her, she asked me "Do I like her", my stupid dumbass? Replies with " I've liked you since I saw you on the first day of class" Even adding what she wore, her shoes,how she smiled. I thought the small details would definitely make her fall for me!

Stupid of me, she replies with "Okay bro", I defo felt rejected and just slept. The next day she genuinely started paying attention to me, but my gucking brain couldn't stop yapping, I sent paragraphs on how she made me feel. And then I just blocked her.

We still are In the same class,we will be for the next four-five months, I still catch her making eye contact with me. I've changed alot since then. From a typical nerd shut in, to a confident, grounded guy, constantly being the center of attention in the class, being involved in drama, love-hate relationship with teachers, alot of attention seeking energy from everyone around me and alot of charismatic energy outflow.

And yet I do NOT know if I should stop pursuing this hope that I can attract her or just stop entirely.

I'm hella young and I'm looking for any and all advice that I can absorb on anything yall would like to share.