Is there any difference between failure and failure?

2012-10-02T20:07:32+00:00

In my opinion you already stated what's wrong with this midset: "Now this is a perfect example of failure-oriented mindset that you should avoid if you want to be successful with ladies or with life in general." He clearly cares what others think of him when he failed, or judges himself too harshly. If I want to get from A to B, no matter what it is, I'll do whatever I think gives me the highest chance of getting there (within certain boundaries, I won't rape a baby even if I think it will get me to B)

Pyro636 · 2012-10-02T21:31:04+00:00

I GOT THIS BROS I'M AN ECON MAJOR

What you want to do is calculate expected value from each plan of action. Let's say that "getting the girl" is the desired result of both actions, and they both give you equal amounts of satisfaction. So, they each give you 10. 10 what you ask? Fuck if I know. Pleasure points. The point is you, as a rational agent, want to maximize the amount of pleasure points you have.

So, then it just becomes mathematical.

The probability of plan A working is 80% so P(A)=.8 The probability of plan B working is 50% so P(B)=.5

Then your expected values from each are just the payoff in the end (which I've decided was 10) times the probability of that payoff. So,

Expected payoff of A=P(A)*10=8 pleasure points.

Expected payoff of B=P(B)*10=5 pleasure points.

Clearly the rational person would in this case always choose option A. This is where the average economics student would declare, "Well, my good man, obviously your pal is an irrational agent whose behavior we simply cannot predict using our economic model." To this I would say "Hey man, FUCK YOU! I'm about to graduate and even though I won't have a job when I do I'd like to pretend my degree is worth more than that lame-ass conclusion!"

So then I would suggest that, to your friend, the payoff is not equal in both cases. He said that when the chance of winning was higher, the pain of failure is more. This is the same as saying that the actual payoff to plan A is actually lower relative to the actual payoff of plan B. In this case he believes it to be low enough so that, after calculating expected payoffs, plan B actually has a higher amount of pleasure points.

So, the actual payoff your friend would have in mind for A would be something less than 6.25 pleasure points (that number is where the expected payoff of A and B would be equal).

The take away from all this is that your friend is, in a backwards sort of way, a risk-taker, meaning he gets a higher value from doing things with relatively higher risks. Whereas most normal people are risk-averse; you and I would choose option A even when the expected payoffs of both are equal because we like to minimize risk.

See? Seduction is easy.

chip812 · 2012-10-02T18:16:04+00:00

You would only do that if you wanted to fail more often...

skgoa · 2012-10-03T03:34:41+00:00

I'm terribly sorry but unfortunately I have to inform you that your friend is mentally challenged. Or more probably, your friend is too afraid of failure. He is trying to mitigate what he seems to see as a significant likelyhood of failing by setting/accepting lower goals before he even tries. Failure in itself is just as bad no matter how high the chance of succeding was. Not going into it with a mindset that is focused on success is a systemic problem that is far worse than any single failure one might have to endure, since this will drag one down for as long as one doesn't get rid of this self-defeatist attitude.

A good pick-up related example is AA: Every time you see a girl you would like to talk to, you can minimise your chance of failure the easiest way by simply not approaching at all. But what does that gain you in the long run? Absolutely nothing. You end up with not getting to know that person and you end up not improving your own skills. The only winning move is to play. You might loose but if you don't play at all, you have already lost.

And just because I am obligated by the Union of Insomniac Sedditors: This is an excellent moment to mention outcome independence and seeking validation. The friend was more concerned with how a failure would be percieved and judged by others, instead of focusing on the task at hand.

song_lyric_answers · 2012-10-02T18:23:56+00:00

Well, it really depends on your situation doesn't it. I mean if my goal was to jump accross a small crevasse where the chances of me making it are 80% as opposed to a wide crevasse which was 50/50, well, I know most would jump across the small crevasse. Personally, I would walk around.

But in terms of less lethal things, such as game, just choose the path you think will make you a better, stronger, more independent, person in the end. I would have to go with the 50% chance. I mean wouldn't you rather go after a HB9 with a 50% chance of success rather than a HB7 with a 80% chance of success. No, we want the things in life that are difficult to get.

Title	Is there any difference between failure and failure?
Author	zentrox
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	October 2, 2012 5:49 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/10ts0v/is_there_any_difference_between_failure_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-there-any-difference-between-failure-and.1340453 https://theredarchive.com/post/1340453

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