Is wondering "why I did wrong" an efficient or wasteful use of your time & energy?

the_brick_attack · 2013-01-18T04:50:17+00:00

Move on. That's the best thing to do. The best thing you can do is what you are doing: you are analyzing the situation and asking what you did wrong and coming to people for advice. Either way, move on and don't get hung up on her. Here's the way to think about it. You could:

1) dwell on her and hope that maybe, just maybe, something happens, when in all probability is as infinitesimal a chance as you winning the lottery. Why put all your eggs in one basket? Fuck that!

2) Ask yourself what you did wrong and use it as a learning opportunity. So things didn't work out. It should be somewhat freeing because there are millions, literally millions of other women out there just waiting for a bad ass. Be that bad ass. You don't need a clean record in this game.

You are doing a good thing in asking what you did wrong, but don't dwell on your loss. Instead, fix your game for the next event. I'm guessing you made the same mistake I make a lot. Probably not enough kino or direct approach early on. This is typically the friend-zone generator with more success than the model used by Tom Clancy to make a book that gets five video games. Maybe you showed interest after the critical point. All in all, move on. It's ok, even if it stings. You'll get over it if you keep approaching new women.

2013-01-18T05:39:19+00:00

You have to move on, but if you don't try and learn from your experiences you will never get better. I've recently started recording all my approaches and dates and making notes about what I thought went well and what didn't. For example, one girl I was supposed to have a date with flaked on me and stopped responding. I realized that it was right after she had come in to see me while I was at work so I re-analyzed how things went and remembered some things that probably caused her to lose attraction. In another case I assessed the interaction where I think the girl had been interested, but while we were texting acted offended. I apologized and backtracked on some stuff I said, but in retrospect I think it was a joke and a shit test that I failed miserably. On the other hand... sometimes you'll just never know. You could think everything was going right and never figure out what happened.

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-01-18T13:36:41+00:00

Learning lessons from experience is essential to future progress. But dwelling on past failures is what psychologists call "rumination" and is a distinctive sign of depression. Rumination leads to depression. So avoid it.

JoieTheVivre · 2013-01-18T23:54:20+00:00

Move on, but think what have gone wrong in the first place. Put a little of your time to try and analyse what happend, though don't let it distract you or put you down.

Title	Is wondering "why I did wrong" an efficient or wasteful use of your time & energy?
Author	funkyboodah
Upvotes	5
Comments	5
Date	January 18, 2013 4:32 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/16sryi/is_wondering_why_i_did_wrong_an_efficient_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-wondering-why-i-did-wrong-an-efficient-or.1294090 https://theredarchive.com/post/1294090

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