Keep getting rejected

mossbrooke · 2020-03-12T03:59:49+00:00

Sounds like your fixating on certain people, when you might be better off taking the stress off yourself, and just chatting with people you meet. It's kind of a numbers game. Most of us get rejected a dozen, or 8, before finding a spark. Just learn to small talk to people. In line is a good place to practice because it's short, and you learn how to deal with awkward pauses, and gracefully ending a chat and still hang around. Plus, if it goes south, it's a line. Eventually it ends. YouTube some relationship coaches that emphasize basic interaction. Relax... Have fun... Relaxed people are easy to hang out with. Tense people with obvious expectations, aren't.

BensonInFL · 2020-03-12T05:17:09+00:00

I asked out another girl who I had been talking to for months

I wasn't able to ask her out sophomore year so I waited until junior year.

I think your biggest problem is waiting an extremely long time before asking a girl out... the girl put you in the friend zone a LONG time ago.... I remember when I was in college, and knew nothing about PUA or any community, just naturally, the DAY I started talking to the girl, at the end of the conversation, I got her number... then the phone game started to get to know her a bit better and then get the courage to ask her out for a date..... You need to talk.... flirt... get feedback to see if there is any interest.. and ask for the digits... text..flirt.. setup a date... keep escalating... it should take a few days.. not years..

Second biggest problem is you are focusing on your looks... when you should be focusing on your behavior.... that is your sticking point... what are you talking about with these girls for 2yrs before asking them out???

Third... and this might be a huge revelation for you... a lot of times when a girl doesn't respond to a DM, or some other nonsense... we always think it is about us... but most of the time.. it is about them... they are busy.. or in the middle of a fight with their bf.. or some other distraction... you are not their focus... yet... you should not feel entitled to get a response... don't worry about it... don't get discouraged...I have had huge success with just ignoring it... and sending another note a day or week later.. pretending like it never happened.. or if it happens too many times in a row.. calling them out on it... such as 'Hey haven't heard back from you in a while, is everything okay?' ... if there is more than 0% interest in you... then you will get a response... if not move on.. don't sweat it...

-B

throwaway5734748 · 2020-03-12T03:57:35+00:00

Hey, first of all good job on your health journey and putting in all that work, it can’t be easy! It seems like your motivation/mindset is a little skewed. If you weight and body image is tied to your self worth that’s a problem. If you need someone to accept you based off your appearance as well as those other socio economic factors you mentioned above, that can also get you into trouble. I think it’d be reasonable to say those two aspects compound each other and are also very similar.

Now, in terms of your dating “strategies” the first girl from high school: it didn’t seem like there was much meaningful interaction before/during or even after your decided to ask her out. Attractiveness is a mix of subjectivity and social standards so it’s tricky; that being said rejection and anger are normal and you did channel it into something good but it doesn’t really seem... resolved.

A similar situation happened with this second girl, you saw her, probably built this ideal in your head and then there was again a lack of meaningful interaction and then seemingly, rejection again.

Maybe it wasn’t even love or genuine interest but until you’re intentions and mindset are adjusted I don’t think you’ll find success.

I know I typed a lot sorry, let me know if anything doesn’t make sense 😅

Insaneflirt_max · 2020-03-12T03:54:43+00:00

Tldr

throwaway5734748 · 2020-03-12T04:12:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

quinnmcd · 2020-03-12T12:45:05+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it belongs in AskSeddit.

No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.

For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person are fine as field should be directed to Ask Seddit (/r/askseddit), not to be confused with Ask Reddit.

mr_Tobbor · 2020-03-12T04:49:08+00:00

Pedestalization! Don't be pussy. Go speak to her then next her.

c0c41n33 · 2020-03-12T05:35:43+00:00

Dms are not the way to do it, that’s your problem

Ligottis_Unborn · 2020-03-12T05:59:46+00:00

Try getting over focusing on one girl. Over time you realize that whatever feelings you had for one girl go away and get projected onto another girl. The individual girl doesn't matter. She is easily replaceable and forgettable but you need to experience this to really know what I'm talking about. With enough of these experiences, you will eventually not care for any particular girl that much.

rextokyo · 2020-03-12T06:45:25+00:00

If you're in shape you definitely want to be posting shirtless selfies. Post those on tinder. Make your profile "6'4" .

You're probably too nice, to boil it down. Get some edge. Buy a motorcycle.

And dont fixate on any one girl in particular..you've been drooling over this hole for two years at the expense of not gaming other girls. Lifes too short my man

Title	Keep getting rejected
Author	throwaway5734748
Upvotes	4
Comments	26
Date	March 12, 2020 3:46 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fha9ed/keep_getting_rejected/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/keep-getting-rejected.1492259 https://theredarchive.com/post/1492259

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