History:

  • In LTR with girl for several years

  • girl gets drunk and meets other dude

  • girl tells me she needs space

  • buy engagement ring and propose to girl

  • girl says ''no'', find out girl secretly dating other dude, end relationship

  • spend time alone

  • find seddit

  • pickup new girl, see each other exclusively, enter very fun relationship for few months

  • first girl calls and wants to talk, I tell her to leave me alone

  • new girl gets jelly, insecure, etc.

  • first girl writes me letter, feels genuine regret, shame, for ending relationship and seeing other dude. I don't reply.

  • continue relationship with new girl

  • first girl keeps writing me letters

  • get in fight with new girl, end relationship

  • break new girls heart

  • spend time alone

  • decide to meet first girl and talk

  • start dating first girl, eventually enter relationship again

  • in best relationship for months

  • first girl proposes to me, I say yes

  • bro says to ignore any second thoughts

  • girl gets text from other dude (same as before), says its nothing, etc, makes me insecure

It seems like specific objects, places, or even conversations trigger feelings of insecurity and doubt in my mind. I don't know how to get rid of them, every time it happens I feel my confidence and power just deplete from me.

Do you have any advice?