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Most cutting edge therapy forms suggest you can't control your emotions.

T-Stunna

June 22, 2015

1 upvotes

/r/seduction

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLaYC0J0-GM

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Post Information

Title	Most cutting edge therapy forms suggest you can't control your emotions.
Author	T-Stunna
Upvotes	1
Comments	3
Date	June 22, 2015 5:30 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3aqcwr/most_cutting_edge_therapy_forms_suggest_you_cant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/most-cutting-edge-therapy-forms-suggest-you-cant.1389930 https://theredarchive.com/post/1389930

Comments

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebantha 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

This is inaccurate and incomplete. Feelings are going to happen, you can't control that. But as incompletely covered on the other end of the link, you actually can exert control over your emotions in a couple of ways.

You can choose how you react to a feeling, emotion, sensation. You determine the value or meaning of it.
This enables you to exert control over feelings. People think that they have no say in it when their emotions leave them attracted to someone who's bad for them. They just continue to wallow in an emotion-thought loop where they feel some feelings for that person and then think about them, over and over again. But if they choose to step in at the thought part of the loop, they can reprogram the whole thing.

So to sum up the title is misrepresentative......

~~Most cutting edge therapy forms~~ Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which dates back to the 1980s & 1990s and the roots of which date back to the 1950s or 1960s, ~~suggest you can't control your emotions~~ goes beyond suggesting and actually provides a way to manage and exert control over one's emotions (or at least the effect of one's emotions).

[–]T-Stunna[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Hey thanks for your response. However the stuff that I talked about isn't CBT and instead breaks with the CBT tradition and the belief that you can control emotions or thoughts. Therapy forms like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy are based in CBT but moved beyond the control agenda.

And I do completely agree you can choose how you react to your emotions and what meaning you give them or how much you attend to them, however this is not be confused with being able to control them. And that is the point of the video.

And I do agree people have a say when it comes to what your emotions do with you, so saying "I can't do this because I am scared" is bullshit. You can have very strong feelings and then do something that opposes this emotion (eg. being scared shitless and then approaching). Thus your action are not controlled by your emotions. Nevertheless that the emotions shows up is something you can't control. For example you want to talk to a cute girl and you get approach anxiety, you can do whatever you want to, a certain level of anxiety will remain and trying to suppress the anxiety usually increases the anxiety (at least in the long run). For this reason the only thing you can do is accept your (eg.) approach anxiety and then focus back on your goal (eg. talking to the girl).

What do you think?

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebantha 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

And I do agree people have a say when it comes to what your emotions do with you, so saying "I can't do this because I am scared" is bullshit. You can have very strong feelings and then do something that opposes this emotion (eg. being scared shitless and then approaching). Thus your action are not controlled by your emotions.

I guess I would clarify in this kind of situation, that even the identification of the emotion can be up in the air. Like you may get a surge of adrenaline, and then assign an emotion like fear or excitement to that surge. But even that can be subjective. Take a guy who is confronted with a dive into the ocean from a cliff. He is confronted with a physiological response. Fight or flight, if you will. Depending on his temperament or his choice, he will choose fear or excitement.

And it's the same with say.... approach anxiety. The emotional label of fear or excitement is significantly impacted by choice. Thus, there is control over emotions. It's the physiological responses (fight or flight) that cannot necessarily controlled. Those are what I'd contend that we're really talking about here: managing those responses so that they are not interpreted as debilitating fear.

Nevertheless that the emotions shows up is something you can't control.

Whereas what I'd contend is..... it's the physiological responses that we can't control. But we can exert control whether fear manifests or not. And also, we can break the cycle of anxiety. Things like CBT can definitely be used to break the thought-emotion cycle when someone is experiencing HEAVY anxiety issues up to the point of being physically paralyzed with anxiety/fear. Stepping in and reprogramming the thoughts that feed such emotions, can lead to those emotions withering on the vine until they no longer even manifest later.

So control is possible. Such things do not have to be accepted.