"Oh wow, look at that cutie. Man, I'd love to go approach her. But... what if she rejects me? That would be so painful! I'll just watch her and wait for an opening..."

(10 minutes later, she leaves -- chance blown.)

Sound familiar? I've had that happen dozens of times.

I want to share a mindset change with you. It's tough to overcome approach anxiety because it's not logical. It's a feeling, and usually only drugs, trauma, or repetition can change feelings.

Why does getting rejected sting so much? Because we think it's a negative comment on who we are. You get rejected, you think, "I'm not good enough for her."

Here's the truth:

To truly reject you, a girl has to KNOW you.

Think about that for a moment. She has to know who you are, your character, personality, interests, etc. NONE OF THEM DO!

So what is rejection?

  1. She's not sexually available. Reasons include: she's taken, she's not down to hook up right now, her dog just got ran over, whatever.
  2. You don't match her preferences. Ever hooked up with a girl who was attractive, but you just didn't feel it? That goes both ways. Rejection doesn't mean "you suck;" it could just mean, "You're not my type."

Just keep approaching, have a positive attitude, and move on the next one.

Besides, rejection is almost NEVER that cliched, painful scene in high school: "Oh my god... are you actually talking to me? Hey everyone, this guy thought he stood a chance!" (Everyone laughs; guy retreats to mom's basement in shame.)

Usually the girls just politely listen while giving disinterested body language, or they ignore you. 98% of rejections look like that.

That's it. Say hi to women, flirt, and filter for sexual availability. That's all it takes.