I have been in the dating scene for 5 years now. I credit the day I first stepped into the gym as the beginnings of my long and difficult journey in seduction, but after all this time I have learned that seduction is not actually about getting the girl, it's about being a happy, confident, and fulfilled man.

For the first time in my life, for the first time in my 5 years of trying, I'm actually at the point where I am having to choose between multiple girls. This situation I've found myself in has rushed into my life, and it happened not because I suddenly got better at gaming girls, but because despite my handful of successes and (more numerous) failures with women, I'm finally happy with who I am as man, independent of whether any particular girl ends up liking me.

Why I have always been unhappy

The key reason why I could never find a girl is because I was inherently unhappy with my life. Girls could sense this; they could sense that I was expecting them to make me happy, and my behaviors reflected my inner insecurity and depression. I was only taking from people, but never giving.

I read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, and I realized that the entirety of my pain came because I was expecting the future to be my salvation. I was never present in the moment, never conscious of the ocean of the things I do have in life:

  1. A great job
  2. Parents that love me more than I can even understand
  3. A nephew
  4. Health/fitness
  5. Food
  6. Talent
  7. Respect
  8. Enough money to be comfortable

Do you guys not realize how fucking good you have it? Watch some videos of people living in third world countries and see how terribly they live, how starving many of them are, and how there is essentially no hope for a better life. If you're living in a first world country and you're able to afford an apartment/house, can clothe yourself, and can buy yourself as much food as you need, you live like a fucking king.

My whole life I have interacted with people just wanting to suck the happiness from them and absorb it into me, like those dementors from Harry Potter. I never produced any happiness for people, and it was draining. People didn't want to be around me, especially girls, because I was not providing value and my insecurity permeated everything I did.

Why I am now happy

My dudes, this life is so fucking short and one day you're going to die, your body will disintegrate back into the earth, and your only legacy will be the effect you had on other people. Also realize how much pain and suffering there is in the world. What I didn't realize is that I can literally make a person's entire fucking day just by vocalizing some nice words out of my mouth, by saying something sincere and without expecting anything in return. It is so easy to spread happiness to other people, and if you give positivity and sincere appreciation to people, not only will they feel better, but they will also like you more. Why? Because you gave them value. You made them happier by just saying something nice.

I'm happy now because I am so god damn appreciative of what I do have. The fact that I'm alive at all is a dumbfounding miracle. Of all the times that I could have existed, I was born in an era of unprecedented human prosperity with modern medicine, technology, and science. Humanity is just starting to venture out into space. When the New Horizons made its flyby of Pluto, I WAS WATCHING PICTURES OF AN ALIEN WORLD 7.5 BILLION KILOMETERS AWAY ON MY FUCKING WRIST WATCH.

I'm happy now because life is too short to get upset when people don't like you, time is too valuable to be wasting it doing nothing. There is a whole world out there to experience before you die, so why are you sitting in your sad little room masturbating every night to porn hub when you could be out in the world LIVING?

The glass is already broken

One day some people came to the master and asked ‘How can you be happy in a world of such impermanence? The master held up a glass and said ’Someone gave me this glass, and I really like this glass. It holds my water admirably and it glistens in the sunlight. I touch it and it rings! One day the wind may blow it off the shelf, or my elbow may knock it from the table. And I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.

When I already understand that my life will expire, that my friends will move away, that I'll witness my parents' funeral, that the cute girl I went on a date with will likely end up flaking, that my puppy will end up dying, that everything in this world is temporary, every moment that I get to spend with them is more precious than the finest gold.

Like a campfire

When you are already happy with your life, the only thing flowing out of your heart is genuine love for people and a lighthearted attitude towards life. There is nothing more attractive than a man who is able to spread nothing but affection for people because it makes you a powerful beacon of warmth and protection in a broken world. People will flock to the warmth you give like a campfire in a cold winter night. Just like a campfire you cannot force people to stay, but the promise of love and reprieve from the bitter cold will always leave you in good company.

And more importantly, some great women in your life will come to you for warmth.