Following my first lay since starting to improve myself [https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7ucef4/first_lay_and_a_conundrum/] I came down, for the past week or so with a pretty hefty case of oneitis, as evidenced by what I say in the post.

She is the first girl I slept with in a long time, the first to tell me I am attractive in a long time. She is beautiful and funny. She also lives around 3.5 hours away and is the younger sister of a friend. For about a week she was pretty much all I could think about.

It came to a head this evening when I realised the constant messaging would just leave me in suspense. I broke cover and outright asked if she wanted to meet. She pointed out that we lived stupidly far away from each other and, having really only just met, travelling that kind of distance didn't make a whole lot of sense (as sorry about this as she was). We remain on good terms but, alas, for now, this isn't going anywhere beyond the one night.

I actually expected this to hurt but, actually, it came as a relief. All along, part of me had known what she was saying was the truth. Part of me had known that this was delusion - oneitis blinding me to the fact that the distance and complexities involved meant that it was never going to be anything beyond a one night thing. She lives too far away and her brother is my friend.

Honestly, the combination of my first lay and my first case of oneitis has come as a learning experience:

Lesson 1 - There will be others. As a friend pointed out to me, the odds that she is the only woman who will ever be attracted enough to me to go home with me the same night are lower than I expected. This will help build my abundance mentality.

In fact, I was out on Saturday and nearly pulled on a couple of occasions, all through the confidence gained.

Lesson 2 - I am more attractive than I think. I would have considered this girl out of my league. However, when I asked her why she decided to sleep with me I got responses like:

"You made me laugh" "There was just something about you" "You're funny and you made me feel comfortable" "When I was at the bar and you were behind me with your arms around me, I just felt a bit weak..."

As odd as it feels to have asked for feedback like that, she seemed happy to give it and the self-esteem boost that comes with it is better than any affirmation I could hope for. I'm going to keep those comments with me going forward.

So, from the anguish and uncertainty of the last week the future looks bright again (and, as I said to my oneitis, there is always her brother's birthday party next year...). It has proved a vital learning experience on my path to sexual fulfilment.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have some approaches that I need to catch up on....