I've been asked to post my profile before but I thought when you delete your match profile, you completely lose the profile. Anyway, I was wrong. Since then, I've edited a bit and has been very successful.

Why am I posting this? Although, it's been productive, I have some other parts in my life that I need to focus on. So, I'm stepping away from online dating for about a year.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying this is the only way to do it. I'm only saying this is what has been most productive for me, through many, many edits.

The only thing I changed was my name. Otherwise, it's verbatim.

Here's the summary:

Namaste!

I've been lucky in life to have had the opportunity to learn from different relationships. Through those relationships I've learned the following about myself:

  1. I have a sense of humor (which can be sarcastic or silly);

  2. I like to help people (thanks mom and dad!);

  3. I'm cute (see profile pics);

  4. I'm honest (see number 3);

  5. I'm humble (see numbers 3 and 4);

What you should know about me is that I consciously crafted the man I am today. I make an effort to constantly challenge myself and my beliefs to be a better person, man, son, and partner.

Who I am looking for: An affectionate, caring, and soft-spoken woman who understands what she wants in a relationship. A woman with the passion to help others and explore the limits of her personality.

It's really important to get this out of the way now. So here are my deal-breakers. This is serious stuff and there are no exceptions! So here's the list:

  1. If you pour milk before putting cereal in your bowl

  2. If you greet everyone with "namaste"

  3. People who leave voice mail messages saying, "Hey! Call me back!"

  4. If you collect/hoard hotel soap

  5. If you don't understand I'm kidding right now

My Relationship Philosophy: You've been on this planet for about 30 years. In that time, your environment and upbringing has shaped you to be the awesome person you are today. I don't want to change that because I'm not Tony Robbins. If I tried, it would suck and we would both need counseling afterwards. I hope you understand you can't change me because that would mean you're Tony Robbins and I'm not into that. :)

Surfing and Dating: Surfing is a new hobby. While waiting for a set, surfers normally sit up on their surfboards to gain a better line of sight. I've never had great balance (I know, I'm the worst ninja ever) so this part of surfing has been more challenging than I thought it would be. So, in trying to balance, I constantly make micro-corrections in an effort to stay upright. In effect, I didn't enjoy this part of surfing because it felt like I was always on guard to avoid falling in. When I realized this, I relaxed and accepted the constant bobbing and rocking of the waves. With this change, I am now able to sit up and enjoy the waiting period between sets. Being accepting and relaxed (ultimately finding my balance) is a parallel to how I am in a relationship. So, TL;DR, just chill, it will all work out.

My Goal: Find someone who can laugh at herself. A woman who is capable of a heart-felt apology. A woman who is happy with her life alone but understands it would be much better with Poonishapines (because Poonishapines is cute, honest, fiercely humble) :)

That was the profile. It's important to have a plan to get the phone number after you message back and forth. DO NOT get stuck in the messaging phase. After I've communicated I'm not a serial killer, I usually message them with something like this, "You seem really cool, but we have to talk soon so I can make sure you're not a 50 year old dude pretending to be a cute dorkasuarus. Give me your number and I'll call you tonight."

First phone conversation: I follow up with the 50 year old dude joke to break the ice. I usually say, "Oh shit... You're definitely not a 50 year old dude, but you might be an 8 year old boy. I'm going to need you to bring two forms of government issued ID when we meet."

My keys to success in online dating:

  1. Have a profile that communicates your personality. Lots of dudes have traveled the world. Honestly, girls don't care unless you can communicate why that shit should mean something.

  2. This whole thing is a little weird/awkward for girls. You can advance to getting the phone number, then to a date easily if you can make them feel like it's natural. Take their hand and lead them through each step.

Okay, that's all I got. I hope this helps someone craft a profile summary of their own that was even more productive than mine was. I truly wish you guys the best.