Hey guys, long time lurker first time poster. I went on a date today and I'm trying to gauge if I still have a shot at pursuing something. I think I coulda k-closed on this date but I pussed-out.

So to backup, I've known this girl for a few years, but we never spoke very much and we've just been mutual friends through a group. I have not hung out with that group in a few years, just out of inconvenience. We went to the same uni and the same course, but never shared any subjects together. I never harboured and romantic feelings for her in the past. Anywho, I accidentally ran into her when I was out with some unrelated friends and decided to FB her and organise a date as we hadn't seen each other in about 2 years. I figured "fuck it, why not give it a shot" so I organised a date to do something. I picked a coffee place and she agreed. It was a good 2 and a bit hours.

What I think went right

So throughout the date I sat close next to her with strong eye contact with a wry smile. I kino'd about 10 mins in with my leg resting on hers through most of the time. She readjusted her leg a few times but I just repositioned my leg to stay touching. She kept keeping her hands reserved under the table or between her legs so I rested my hand on her leg, which turned into a game that was flirty-fun because she complained that my hands were cold so she tried to move them but I just left it there. Eventually my hand warmed on her legs and she stopped trying to remove it.

In terms of conversation I tried to steer it towards some more fun stuff rather than work stuff. I knew that years ago she was interested in a mutual guy friend (this mutual guy friend has been in a relationship for about 7 years with a strong SO. No chance of her hooking up with him) so I played a game alleging that he had said something about her and she had to earn it through winning a game. I used Neil Strauss' "5 questions game" routine, but modified the last question to be "are you an intelligent person"? We're both new lawyers (hence intelligent people) so I figured that she would get to the last question. She refused to answer and blushed a bit and vainly tried to come with a solution which was satisfactory. We both had a good laugh. I didn't tell her what our mutual guy friend had said, because he had not said anything, and she had lost the game so did not 'earn' what he had said. She would also occasionally play with her hair, but I'm not sure if that was because she was anal about its direction.

When it was time to leave, our cars were parked on the same floor. I brushed my hands against her a number of times and she didn't flinch. She also asked why I hadn't been around the group very often, so it only occurs to me now that maybe that was interest.. When it was time to part she said it was good to catch up and we hugged for a moment. I stood quite close to her, held her hand and looked in her eyes relatively closely for a second or so. We parted ways.

What I think went wrong

When we talked, a good 1/2 - 2/3 chunk of conversation was about work stuff, which while relatable to both of us, but is not in my mind, conducive to "attraction". Also, when It was my turn to talk I began most of my statements by looking in another direction first or at the table (for a second) as if I was remembering something before re-engaging eye-contact. I should have maintained eye contact when remembering.

I also stupidly mentioned that a work-romance didn't work out recently. I thought that maybe this would get her to talk about her own experience, but it didn't. I suspect I had inadvertently lowered my value in doing this.

I also should have planned a better way to kino based on reading her body language first. It took me about 45 mins to find a way to put my hand on her leg (which was from noticing that she kept putting her hands between her legs because they were cold, so I asked to warm them. Ironically my hands were colder than hers, which started the hand-hold -struggle-game, followed by resting my hand on her leg) There were pauses in the conversation, but I occasionally let out a "what else has happened...?" statement as if to fill the void. I stupidly forgot to leave in the pauses to create more tension. I also noticed that my posture when sitting (because the chairs were more like stools, not a booth) slouched a bit, despite having great posture walking everywhere ( I have worked on this).

When we were leaving the coffee shop to the car park we stood closely and next to each other, but I should have rested my hand on the small of her back. If she had shied it off then I would have more proof of interest and generation of attraction, but I only remembered this on the last escalator to the carpark..after travelling down 3 escalators on the way to the carpark...

Now for the big fuck-up.

When it was time to part I figured that when we hugged I would rub my chin whiskers against her neck...while also using the hook of relenting and telling her what our mutual guy friend had said.

BUT

When we hugged it was sort of awkward because I didn't get to do it for as long as I had imagined and her hair got in the way of my chin so the abrasion wasn't there. As we were about to part (in circumstances against my plan) I held on to her hand lightly and asked "do you want to really know what X said about you?". She seemed interested. I was going to tell her close to her ear, whisper "nothing" and then go for a k-close.

Instead, I went in close to her ear, but she was side-on, so I couldn't use the method properly. I was only holding her hand. I should have held her hips (or both her hands) like we were hugging and done it from that angle. When I told her side-on, she smiled and my face was about 5 cm away from hers. I looked in her eyes (while holding her hand) for a moment and she seemed to have an interested expression, but for that split second I should have just kissed her. Instead I wussed out. We parted ways I agreed that it was good to "catch-up". I also neglected to ask ( or suggest) that we should catch-up again.

/r/ seddit advice

So....now what? I do not have a case of oneitis for this girl. If it works out, that's cool. If it doesn't, I'm all for that, but I would rather have tried to escalate to see if there was a shot or not. Should I ask her to go somewhere again? Or did I blow my shot?

tl;dr: Should have K-closed date, but chickened out at the last minute. Is there still a chance?